Current Events > I can't get to sleep tonight.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I keep thinking about how the rest of the planet will spend time with their families tomorrow.

And then there's me.

I'll be alone tomorrow. Sure I'll see my family members. But nobody will be together. They all hate each other. They just juggle me around. There's no actual family. My Uncle. My dad. My sister. My grandma. All at each other's throats.

Then once everyone is through with me, they'll drop me off back to where I live. Sure it's a house. But it's not mine. Then I'll go into my room and be alone. No texts or calls after that.

My room is cold, but I'm so hot. And I can't keep my thoughts quiet no matter how hard I try to focus on my music.

I want to kill myself every day. Ever since I had to leave my hometown. And I became a passive friend to those I was close to. When I transferred schools, not once did one of them call or text to see how I was doing. But at least I had my family and my video games. Now I can't even seek shelter in those.

I wish I had the courage to finally go through with it.

Sorry for venting.

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you are probably going to get your account locked for saying you want to kill yourself but you should just pretend you don't have extended family. People with barely any uncles or aunts or siblings get by just fine and so can you

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Just stop thinking about it and tell yourself it'll work itself out later on.

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I just need someone to know how I'm actually feeling. I can't keep tiptoeing around it.

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PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

I just need someone to know how I'm actually feeling. I can't keep tiptoeing around it.

taht too but you already ddid so I didn't feel the need to mention it

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Just get drunk and watch naruto like I'm doing

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There are plenty of people who feel the same way you do, so, you aren't alone.

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JBaLLEN66 posted...

Just get drunk and watch naruto like I'm doing

Haha. I don't drink. Never have. Maybe I will one day, but that day is at least 3 years out.


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I'm gonna go take a shower to see if it'll help get my temperature under control. I'm shivering, but so hot.

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I think you might be sick mate. May be a fever.

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Since youre so hot, go dance like a bitch in heat

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BlackHorse6969 posted...

Since youre so hot, go dance like a bitch in heat

shut the **** up

I honestly was waiting for the punchline while reading this

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Hey guys I'm back. After that shower and some thinking. I feel a little better. I've tried to reach out for help in my real life, but none of it ever seems to take. So when I post here, it feels like I have some sense of community. Just the fact that you guys are all here for me, it's very reassuring.

So thanks guys. I'm going to bed. And again, I'm really sorry for venting. But when I have nowhere else to go, it makes me feel better.

Merry Christmas guys. I wish all of you and your families the best.

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