Current Events > How do I stop being so damn nostalgic

(+) Yeah! (+)

The past couple of weeks I've spent a lot of my time thinking and dreaming about the year after graduating high school, and how awesome it was. Not a care in the world, small group of amazing friends, beautiful girlfriend who was way the fuck out of my league, etc.

Now, ten years later, I only have a couple of friends I hardly talk to, adult responsibilities like a full time job and a mortgage, and I'm tired all the time. I did marry that girl who was way the fuck out of my league though so I've got that going for me.

I'll look through old pictures and videos I had taken or hear a song that was popular back then and it just brings me such joy, followed by sadness that those times are over.

I'm sure the pandemic brought a lot of this on. It's easy to think 2010 was fucking awesome compared to 2020. But still, I just want to feel that way again. I wish I had taken more pictures and more videos, and spent less time wishing I was older. Being older sucks. My childhood dogs have died, my childhood home was sold, friends got married/went into the military/had kids and drifted apart, a bunch of places I used to love going to when I was younger no longer exist (several closed permanently due to COVID19). It's difficult to have discussions without it turning into a political shitshow anymore. Everything sucks.

tldr: having some light depression realizing my life will probably never be as joyous as it was when I was 18. What do.

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Same. Keep getting feelings of wanting to play some old games I enjoyed, but never go through and play and finish them. Just keep me occupied for hours/days and then discarded, looking forward to that next high.

Kind of like a zombie right now. Stuck in the mud and not realizing my potential and abilities because I am afraid of changing.

I want to go back.

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Man Im sorry to hear that.

things just keep getting better for me and Id never want to be young and dumb again haha. (Obviously there are ups and downs)

how long you been married? Kids? Definitely changes things but man is it great.

krazychao5 posted...

Same. Keep getting feelings of wanting to play some old games I enjoyed, but never go through and play and finish them. Just keep me occupied for hours/days and then discarded, looking forward to that next high.

Kind of like a zombie right now. Stuck in the mud and not realizing my potential and abilities because I am afraid of changing.

I want to go back.

Yep. I've tried watching shows and playing games I used to love back then and while I still enjoy doing that, it just doesn't hit the same way.

By all accounts I should be immensely satisfied with my life. I have a huge house, beautiful wife, decent job (doesn't pay as much as I'd like it to but it's easy as fuck with great benefits), all the things I could want.

Maybe that's part of it too. I have almosy everything I wanted, so there's no motivation to work towards something anymore. Really the only thing I want that I don't have yet is kids, but my wife and I are working on that.

Overall I'd say I'm still a happy person. I just want to be happier.

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Romes187 posted...

Man Im sorry to hear that.

things just keep getting better for me and Id never want to be young and dumb again haha. (Obviously there are ups and downs)

how long you been married? Kids? Definitely changes things but man is it great.

7 years, no kids yet but working towards it.

I look back and I made a lot of dumb mistakes back than too, typical of any young adult really, but hell I'd still love to go back and relive that year. I guess I miss the innocence the most.

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littlebro07 posted...

7 years, no kids yet but working towards it.

I look back and I made a lot of dumb mistakes back than too, typical of any young adult really, but hell I'd still love to go back and relive that year. I guess I miss the innocence the most.

Right after you have a kid youll feel that as well because its so much more responsibility. Then a year later that kid will look up and tell you they love you and youll never look back

i shouldnt be so absolute. You might act different and have a different situation.

id also recommend if you can, to do something creative. I write music and wrote a book over the past few years with no intention of selling either (maybe someday) but more just to create something. That can be tough if you dont feel you have artistic skill but usually everyone is good at something

Try altering your daily routine TC, sometimes that breaks the monotony of too much of the "same thing" and that can help you be happier.

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I'm about ten years older and sometimes feel the same way. I didn't know my wife then and meeting her and getting married and starting a family is a big plus obviously, but there was absolutely something about that time frame... especially that summer right after graduating when none of the crew had gone off to college yet and I wasn't dealing with school work (which wasn't a big deal, but still) and was only working like... 12 hours a week, lol. Got to hang out with friends more or less every day and do whatever.

I'm still in close contact with a big chunk of my high school buddies (and at least in loose contact with the ones that I'm not as close with still) but some have moved away, and we're all married, most have kids, etc. So its just next to impossible to ever find time to hang out or whatever. Like a couple years sometimes go by without seeing someone, even though we text semi-regularly and stuff.

And yeah, in those 20 years a lot of favorite hangouts have closed up, and COVID is killing off some more as we speak. :(

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I think we all feel that way to an extent. Sounds like you're in a rut though. You might want to consider some counseling if it doesn't go away or if you've felt this way for awhile now

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GregShmedley posted...

Not sure if you've ever had them, but the worst is when it comes in a dream. Every so often, I'm placed in a one of my childhood homes or a relative's house that I have strong memories of. But they're always empty and it's like I'm in the future but strongly trying to reach the past to the point where I'm gasping for air and sobbing in my dream. And it all feels so real. Then I'm fucked up for a couple days.

I'll have dreams where I'm in my childhood home (where my parents still live but in real life has been completely renovated) and its the same old shag carpet and everything, sometimes its a weird hybrid where I'm an adult living there with my wife, but usually I'm a kid again and my older brother is there (who is long, long gone) and man, it kinda throws me for a loop for the day.

They weird me out a little less but maybe once a year or so I'll have a dream where usually I'm younger or the dream just doesn't really define age, and I'm trying to get the attention of the girl I had my first big crush on in junior high and hasn't crossed my mind in ages, lol. I don't tell my wife about those. >_>

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GregShmedley posted...

Not sure if you've ever had them, but the worst is when it comes in a dream. Every so often, I'm placed in a one of my childhood homes or a relative's house that I have strong memories of. But they're always empty and it's like I'm in the future but strongly trying to reach the past to the point where I'm gasping for air and sobbing in my dream. And it all feels so real. Then I'm fucked up for a couple days.

Yep, I actually just had a dream two nights ago about going to my childhood home. It wasn't the way it was when I lived there though. When my parents sold it, it was to a person that flips houses. So it was the way it looks now, based on the pictures I saw on the Zillow listing, and I fucking despise what they did to my house. In the dream I had broken in with paint and construction shit to put it all back to normal and then the family that currently lives there got home and attacked me lmao

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2020 is the gift that keeps on giving: a worldwide pandemic, a severe economic downturn that is affecting almost everyone in some way, tons of people can't make rent anymore and are in danger of losing their homes, serious bipartisan bills to break the internet for law enforcement and censorship have appeared, deep concerns about the November election and if we'll even have one, social unrest that has led to worldwide protests and some violence, disgustingly high unemployment. You name, it's happened or going to happen. The only people I know who are happy right now are the ones who haven't had their jobs effected and think all the bad news this year is fake propaganda.

Even if you are in a good place financially and don't think any of this will impact you, your subconcious might have other ideas. The world isn't in a good place, and there isn't much reason to think it's going to get better in the next year or two. In every area of life, there is huge uncertainty. It is natural to want to revert to a time when the world was more stable for you and life was simpler and happier.

The Top Crusader posted...

I'll have dreams where I'm in my childhood home (where my parents still live but in real life has been completely renovated) and its the same old shag carpet and everything, sometimes its a weird hybrid where I'm an adult living there with my wife, but usually I'm a kid again and my older brother is there (who is long, long gone) and man, it kinda throws me for a loop for the day.

They weird me out a little less but maybe once a year or so I'll have a dream where usually I'm younger or the dream just doesn't really define age, and I'm trying to get the attention of the girl I had my first big crush on in junior high and hasn't crossed my mind in ages, lol. I don't tell my wife about those. >_>

One recurring dream I have is that I'm back in high school, and I've forgotten my class schedule and locker combination and I always have to go to the office to figure it out. But everything else in the school is exactly the same as it was when I went there.

I have that dream at least once a month.

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smoked way too much (uh tobacco) and think I've figured it out

nostalgia is a result of the dialectic between responsibility (life, maybe meaning) and liberty (young, care free, certain routines you remember) taking place in your mind.

we'll see how dumb that sounds when I sober up

I miss the lack of responsibility when younger. Was nice
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pics of the wife, so I can evaluate your life and give you good advice

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emblem boy posted...

I miss the lack of responsibility when younger. Was nice

definitely though its funny my nostalgia, when I do feel it, is to 2009. Because that was the year of so many stories Ill have to write down sometime.

but thats because its pretty marriage pre kids too. My nostalgia for sat playing ff7 in 1997 used to hit me harder before, but now I look to my daughter maybe and live through her to fill in the gaps? I dunno. I look back to the good ole 1997 days not with nostalgia but more with content that whatever I did led me to this point.

The weekend days spent playing call of duty online with the Bros or playing FIFA.
Now if I play video games I feel a sense of guilt that I'm not using my time well. *Sigh*
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emblem boy posted...

Now if I play video games I feel a sense of guilt that I'm not using my time well. *Sigh*

Oh man for sure. I've bought a Wii, a retro nintendo, genesis, etc.

I play them for maybe a few minutes, every now and then a few hours and give up. Haven't touched any of them in like over a year.

emblem boy posted...

Now if I play video games I feel a sense of guilt that I'm not using my time well. *Sigh*

I spent over 1k on a gaming PC a couple months ago and have barely touched it because of this lmao

It was something I really wanted and it brought me joy initially but now I feel like I should be doing other things. So I'll sit and do literally nothing instead, which is even worse.


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buy a guitar. Its relaxing, you can see improvement, it doesn't feel like you're wasting time (as opposed to, say improving in a video game...though who defines 'wasting time' I guess but society accepts one much more I guess), and its a blast to jam with other people

Sounds like you're depressed tbh, recommend talking to wife and /or therapist

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Ya, I got a piano a while ago to learn. Haven't been touched it in a while though. I don't think I'm up for learning it on my own, would rather do a class or something
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emblem boy posted...

Ya, I got a piano a while ago to learn. Haven't been touched it in a while though. I don't think I'm up for learning it on my own, would rather do a class or something

would recommend going the autodidact route if you can. Let's you build a talent stack somewhat quick and you can earn more dough (just in general. I've taught myself a bit of design, lot of marketing, copywriting, etc just using online resources. Math and physics especially.)

always gives me something that I want to do. Then I balance it with the things I have to do and try not to waste too much time (a negative is I dont watch any tv and only older movies and my wife wants someone to binge watch shit with. I just feel like its wasting time)

I guess I'm stuck at a point where I don't know how to practice. I can read music, since I was in band when I was younger.

I'm not sure if I should just find a piece and brute force myself to learn it, or if I should aim for something more structured.

With self thought stuff, even programming, I can get the basics. It's coming up with something I actually want to do with the skills that hinders me.
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emblem boy posted...

I guess I'm stuck at a point where I don't know how to practice. I can read music, since I was in band when I was younger.

I'm not sure if I should just find a piece and brute force myself to learn it, or if I should aim for something more structured.

With self thought stuff, even programming, I can get the basics. It's coming up with something I actually want to do with the skills that hinders me.

I'm just learning songs. And playing through what I have learned and hope i get better at it. I do think it would be beneficial to actually learn the music theory so I can improvise and adapt songs. I'm learning them from Alfred's book of Zelda songs and finding some I like from youtube

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Honestly, I like being an adult personally

Sure I have more responsibility. I also have my own house and my own money and am not really accountable to anyone other than myself

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littlebro07 posted...

One recurring dream I have is that I'm back in high school, and I've forgotten my class schedule and locker combination and I always have to go to the office to figure it out. But everything else in the school is exactly the same as it was when I went there.

I have that dream at least once a month.

I ended up working at my old high school for six years, I had all sorts of variations of that dream on a regular basis, lol. I don't think the locker was ever an issue, but it would be like, "I work here, right? Wait, I'm supposed to go and be in a class, right?!" and it was so weird. >_> I usually was still an adult but it was like I had to sit with the current students or sometimes random classmates I had that I haven't interacted with in years would populate the classes.

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