Current Events > Let's pick apart and cringe at my first fanfiction! *spoilers for a:tla"*

(+) Yeah! (+)

I recently came across my first fanfiction account. I won't tell you where it was, only that it isn't on fanfiction.net. And on this account is my very first fanfiction.

I did eventually move the story over to fanfic.net due to lack of reviews on the first platform, and I even completed the story on FF.net, but I deleted the whole thing years later out of embarrassment.

On this other website though, I gave my account to someone who asked for it. Stupid thing to do, but I was 12. They uploaded one story before vanishing forever, leaving all of my early work untouched.

This version of my story is incomplete, and the complete version is gone forever - entire chapters, including the ending, are gone. But there are still 12 chapters to go through. I don't think they're very big, but 12 chapters are 12 chapters.

It's an Avatar fanfiction. I wrote it in 2008, and I didn't have access to Season 2 or 3 until a couple years after this due to ratings issues on my local free-to-air cartoon block. The summary is as follows:

Aang has been pondering 2 things day and night. Now, him and Katara are alone. Is it the perfect time to tell her about these things?

I can tell you right now that this summary still sums up my ethos when writing stuff. I like to keep the description simple and kind of vague, so you get an idea about what kind of story it is without infodumping the whole thing on the audience at once, and I like simple, open-ended scenarios so I can work with the characters rather than fitting the story in a pre-established framework like an AU. Aang wants to romance Katara, that's the concept - if you dig it, check out my story!

Obviously this is executed in a much worse fashion, since it's my very first self-published story from half my lifetime ago - I wrote this when I was 12, and I'm currently 24. But it's interesting to see how far I've come, as well as elements and habits that go back further than I thought.

So let's get onto the actual fanfiction!

There was only 2 things going through Aang's mind. Love and Family. He had pondered these for days. While flying, while sleeping, even while talking (which led to very many embarrassing moments). But finally, he had answered all of his own questions. He was ready. "Katara, i need to tell you something."

"What is it, Aang?" Asked Katara, who was fighting a dummy, then healing it with water.

"Well, i... i-uh..."

"Come on, spit it out!"

"okay. i..."

So the capitalisation obviously needs work, and Katara is already out of character. I think I was going for more naturalistic dialogue, hence the ellipses and stutters Aang is going through.

I was thinking about my use of ellipses recently - I hate to say it, but I still have trouble writing dialogue without shoehorning in a short blurb about the person talking. It leads to stories where characters are always clearing their throats and like moving their hands and shit. I do that because I remember feedback in this story saying that the conversations were too hard to follow.

He tried to create a kind of speech in his mind, but his mind was clear apart from the thing he wanted to say to Katara. So he decided to just come clean.

"I love you."

Katara looked around at Aang, almost as if she was in slow motion. and then...

"I'm glad you said that."

And with that, she ran across to Aang and jumped on him. Smothering him with kisses.

"I was going to ask you the same thing, but i was too shy."

Another trend that would remain a prominent part of my life - self-indulgent fluff. It's a romantic fantasy story written by a 12 year old, and it shows.

To Aang that was a big relief, a load off his chest. She loved him too! Aang mentally jumped with joy.

"So you feel the same way?"

"yeah, of course! Did'nt you get my small hints?"

"No. those hints were so small i don't think Toph noticed them."

Keep in mind - I hadn't seen any Avatar episodes with Toph in them yet. It would be years before I saw episodes with Toph in them. I think in this story I might have even misspelt her name as Togh to begin with, because of her characterisation as a tough character.

The line about Toph was meant to be alluding to her ability to sense whether people are lying or not. Again, not something I knew firsthand - I was drawing from what little I knew about her from Wikipedia episode summaries and other fanfiction.

This would have to be the happiest day of Aang's life. he had finally told her!

"I've loved you since you wore the necklace i made for you, the day we met Aunt Wu. You looked beautiful." Aang said

"I've loved you since you saved that tiny village Aunt Wu live in. she predicted i would marry a powerful bender, and you did some powerful bending." Katara replied.

Truly some of my finest dialogue. Subtle, nuanced. Again - romantic fantasy fic from a 12 year old. I legit had a crush on Katara when I was writing this lmao, this is so dumb but these memories are really funny to think about now.

The Aunt Wu episode was one of the biggest ship tease episodes I had seen up to that point. It was probably the starting point for this fanfiction.

They went back to camp where they told Sokka, Toph and Zuko. Toph revealed that she did not pick up Katara's vibes at any time. "You're good with subtle hints, Katara." She said. Sokka finally understood. " back at Aunt Wu's village, i thought that Aang meant Meng, not Katara." Zuko smiled and said " it was kinda obvious. Even I had feelings for Katara for a time." They celebrated with a huge feast of Platypusbear that Sokka, Toph and Aang had trapped. it was a brilliant evening which ended with a kiss between Katara And Aang. And from then on, Aang knew that life was gonna be just fine.

End of chapter one.

First thing's first - Aang is a vegetarian, which I didn't know when writing this story. The fact that he trapped, killed and cooked wild animals alongside Sokka and Toph is hilarious to me.

Secondly - I didn't even know about the shipping wars between Aang/Katara (Kataang) and Zuko/Katara (Zutara) yet. It seemed clear that Zuko would have had a thing for Katara - he's a warm-blooded young man, right? But he's happy for his buddy Aang.

This also confirms that I wrote this after Zuko joins the group - which again, I only knew from episode summaries on Wikipedia and other fanfiction rather than f

I'm on break at work, and there's not a whole lot of work to get back to doing. So here's chapter 2:

Over the space of a month, they had all been sick with the flu, captured by the Rough Rhinoes and attacked by a platypusbear. but they all pulled through without a scratch. Aang and Katara had also been married. Aang and Katara were closer then Zuko and Toph (Thats right! Theres the tuzo!). They were both training again. Aang still has not discussed the second thought with Katara.

"Katara?"

"Aang?"

They had both spoken at once. After a long argument, Aang went first

"There's something i would like to discuss with you."

"What, Aang?"

Aang looked and felt nervous. It had been 3 years since Ozai's defeat. He had turned 13 on that same day. He was 16, Katara was 18. "Have you thought about starting a... family?".

So straight away it's jumped into a timeskip. It's a month after the first chapter, and I've retconned the story so that Aang is 16 and Katara is 18.

There's also a mention of a Toph/Zuko ship, which I think would be called "Tuko" or "Zoph" or something - clearly I went with Tuko, and I misspelt it as "tuzo". Maybe I was going for "Tozu", as in the first two initials of their name - which I still got wrong. Also, I just threw in a quick author's note to point it out. I don't think anyone commented asking for a Toph/Zuko ship, I was just hype for it to the point that I felt the need to point it out.

I know I was 12 at the time and I didn't have any frame of reference as far as acceptable age differences go, but Toph would be 15 and Zuko would be 19 here. That's not exactly a kosher age gap.

Look, I have a feeling this is gonna get weird as fuck. I was a maladjusted kid, especially as I began to age into a teenager. Don't get surprised if it gets odd from this point on.

"....."

It was silent for a few seconds. Aang mentally kicked himself. "Why did i do that? he thought. But, eventually Katara said...

"YES I HAVE!!! How did you know? I was just about to ask you that!"

"Wow! Strange. I guess we were meant to be together."

"Yeah."

Good response from someone who's just agreed to have kids. "Yeah, I know right?"

Look at all these contrivances, lmao

"So ... Should we wait? It's up to you." Aang added quickly.

"Yeah. Lets just take it slow for now. Break the news to the group."

"Ok. Thats good."

And with that, they walked back to camp, hand in hand.

End of chapter two. These chapters really are short. I think I remember them getting longer as I went along, so by chapter 12 there might be more meat to the story chapters.

Another thing I've just realised is that there are a lot of time skips. Maybe the story cuts off before they get truly ridiculous, but I can tell you right now I jumped ahead so fucking much.

Depending on the response to this thread, I might post again after work. Let me know if I should keep going - I'm enjoying a blind look through my first fanfiction.

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please don't do this for mine. though i don't know if it still exists anywhere

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TerrifyingRei posted...

please don't do this for mine. though i don't know if it still exists anywhere

Wouldn't dream of it, the only person being put on blast here is me. It's pretty fun going through old stuff, to tell you the truth - I've been dreading this story for about a decade, but turning it into an (attempted) group activity is making it fun.

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Chapter 3:

Aang and Katara head back to camp. They state that they have an announcement. Toph tells Sokka and Zuko that it is very exiting for the two (because she fan feel their heartbeats). Aang rises a small stage of rock with his Earthbending, getting a compliment from Toph. "Ok, every one listening? Good." And at that moment, Aang and Katara say at the same time "We're going to try to start a family!"

Sokka fainted.

All that came out of Zuko's mouth was gibberish

Toph said "That was unexpected."

My initial approach to writing, to my memory, was "think of the things I want to happen and write them down verbatim so that they happen". I didn't care about readability, I wanted my thoughts out there for people to see. I figured if they dug my vision, they'd enjoy the story.

Now readability is one of the things I rip my hair out about the most - I need to convey everything in a balanced, enjoyable way to read, so little gags and goofs need to be cut if they break up the flow and shit - see: Aang getting a compliment from Toph. I think I'm always being chased by the legacy of this story, even when I haven't thought about it for years.

Zuko's hands started creating small ammounts of fire. They were opening and closing. He could not control them. Sokka wakes up and says "I had the weirdest dream. Aang and Katara were on a rock stage and said they were gonna start a..." And at that point Sokka looked up at Aang and Katara and fainted again. Toph laughed at Sokka. Katara was shocked at their actions. She did'nt know this is what would happen. It took awhile for Sokka to stop waking up and fainting again, to get Zuko to wake to his senses, and for Toph to stop laughing at Sokka. eventually Toph, Sokka and Zuko says "Okay, this is weird, but we all support you."

Aang was chuckling but stopped when they said that. "Thanks you guys."

Again - tone issues, readability issues. I'm so desperate to get the idea out there that I don't make it clear why it's happening, like with Zuko's fire hands. I think he's meant to be angry like he just got cucked by Aang.

Everything is lumped into a single paragraph because in my mind, it's all connected as a single scene like in the show. I'm also buying into lame humor tropes, but again - come on, I was 12.

Later that night Sokka could'nt sleep. His sister and his best friend were going to raise a family, yet he is jealous because he has never had a girlfriend who has'nt died or been captured. He grabs Suki's warrior helmet and wanders into a clearing of trees. He climbs up one of them. He thinks about where Suki could be. She had escaped when they destroyed Ozai. she left her helmet and a note on her cell wall, saying she loves him and hopes that their paths cross in the future. He lets out a sigh and mumbles "GoodNight Suki... where ever you are." and climbs down. He is walking back to camp where he hears a small noise and turns around. he sees... Suki! She tells him of her escape and how she slept in that circle of trees every night. they kiss and go back to camp, where they both sleep peacefully in Sokka's shelter untill morning.

End of Chapter 3. At least it was short.

I'm pretty sure this was written before The Boiling Rock, which is why Suki wasn't with the group yet. I imagined Sokka finding her cell with her helmet and a note, so I crammed it all in here.

I think I wrote in the Suki romance because as much as I was writing this to be a romantic fantasy story, I also wanted to show off some angst? It wasn't all happiness and rainbows, sometimes characters ~yearn~

I'm pretty sure Sokka's line in the forest came from that Simpsons episode where Grandpa is dating Marge's mother, and she gets swept off her feet by Mr. Burns. I may have also been imagining the Sly Cooper 1 credits music as I wrote it.

Holy fuck, things keep happening solely because I want them to, with no rhyme or reason. The Gang is camped in their very own commune within a stone's throw of Suki's base camp, who they haven't seen for at least 3 years. Then when Aang and Katara announce they're having kids, Sokka wanders off and finds her on a whim.

This isn't as painful as I thought it would be. I'm actually interested in how much I've changed. The thing is, I feel like these chapters are getting worse and worse as they go along. Chapter 1 works as a oneshot - a shitty oneshot written by a child, but it has a beginning and an end. Chapter 2 is a blatant retcon fest, and Chapter 3 dumps Suki into the mix because I wanted Suki to be there.

Just give her a quick line about how she told Sokka about her daring escape, and then they cuddle. I feel like I'm trying to keep things open-ended to leave people wanting more.

I'm a quarter of the way through now. I was chatting with a friend on Discord and I remembered a bunch of the whacked out directions this series went in. I feel like the final product had at least 26 chapters, and I took the story in some wild, shitty places. I'm honestly just excited to see where the story cuts off, where I got fed up with this original hosting website over lack of attention.

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