Current Events > Trump wants Eddie Gallagher to do that watermelon-smash thing at WH

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Hexenherz 12/10/19 8:36:01 PM #1:	WASHINGTON According to Pentagon officials, President Donald Trump continued to express his unwavering support for controversial Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher today by inviting him to do that watermelon smashing thing at the White House. Chief Gallagher is a wonderful man one of the very best, let me tell you, said Trump in a recent meeting with reporters. Not only is he a highly trained killer, but he brought joy and laughter to millions of Americans with his very highly rated and successful act. Very funny stuff; maybe the funniest and most successful ever. And I know humor probably better than anyone in the history of funny. Sources within the administration are concerned the Commander-in-Chief is mistaking Chief Eddie Gallagher, a combat veteran known among his colleagues as Blade, with Lee Anthony Gallagher, Jr., a hugely popular comedian from the 1980s. Known on stage simply as Gallagher, the comedians signature finale involved his smashing watermelons with a sledgehammer he called the Sledge-O-Matic. We were told to order sledgehammers and, like, two dozen watermelons. said a White House employee who spoke on the condition of anonymity. POTUS wants Chief Gallagher to perform his watermelon bit in the Rose Garden. Then he wants to present autographed sledgehammers to Kid Rock and Dan Crenshaw. White House sources report Ted Nugent has declined an invitation to the event, stating Gallagher just isnt a relevant entertainer anymore. --- FFXIV: Lucius Hexenseele (Brynhildr) \| RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving, 91 crafting <cite>Hexenherz posted [p:931397169] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote><quote>WASHINGTON According to Pentagon officials, President Donald Trump continued to express his unwavering support for controversial Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher today by inviting him to do that watermelon smashing thing at the White House. Chief Gallagher is a wonderful man one of the very best, let me tell you, said Trump in a recent meeting with reporters. Not only is he a highly trained killer, but he brought joy and laughter to millions of Americans with his very highly rated and successful act. Very funny stuff; maybe the funniest and most successful ever. And I know humor probably better than anyone in the history of funny. Sources within the administration are concerned the Commander-in-Chief is mistaking Chief Eddie Gallagher, a combat veteran known among his colleagues as Blade, with Lee Anthony Gallagher, Jr., a hugely popular comedian from the 1980s. Known on stage simply as Gallagher, the comedians signature finale involved his smashing watermelons with a sledgehammer he called the Sledge-O-Matic. We were told to order sledgehammers and, like, two dozen watermelons. said a White House employee who spoke on the condition of anonymity. POTUS wants Chief Gallagher to perform his watermelon bit in the Rose Garden. Then he wants to present autographed sledgehammers to Kid Rock and Dan Crenshaw. White House sources report Ted Nugent has declined an invitation to the event, stating Gallagher just isnt a relevant entertainer anymore.</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
MacDaMurderer 12/10/19 8:36:39 PM #2:	Onion article? --- @macdamurderer GT: Mac Da Murderer <cite>MacDaMurderer posted [p:931397195] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>Onion article? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Irony 12/10/19 8:37:06 PM #3:	Trump is stupid --- I am Mogar, God of Irony and The Devourer of Topics. <cite>Irony posted [p:931397212] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>Trump is stupid </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Hexenherz 12/10/19 8:40:34 PM #4:	Trump overturns extra duty for three E-4s who were late for formation WASHINGTON President Donald Trump has intervened on behalf of three Fort Bragg soldiers who found themselves in trouble recently. Spc. Willis Kerstetter, Michael Mills, and Hector Tapiaeach assigned to Alpha Company, 1st Battalion, 504th Infantryarrived late for first formation Monday morning. First Sgt. Jimmie Owens assigned the soldiers a week of extra duty to help them get themselves correct. Kerstetter went to Twitter and requested the assistance of the Commander-in-Chief. I saw on the internet [President Trump] pardoned some officers who were in trouble, said Kerstetter, so I figured he might help us. I mean, its not like we murdered anyone or anything. To their surprise, word came from brigade headquarters a few hours later informing the soldiers they no longer had to report for extra duty after hours. I couldnt believe it worked, said Mills. I mean, I just figured Kerstetter was being a goof, as usual. But, it fucking worked! Oh, sorry, am I allowed to swear? Trump tweeted Monday night, We train these boys in Specialist Forces [sic] to be killing machines, but then we lock them up for being a few minutes late? A lot of people have been saying these boystheyre amazing soldiers; probably the best we have were given a raw deal. NO WAY!!! None of the three have ever deployed. --- FFXIV: Lucius Hexenseele (Brynhildr) \| RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving, 91 crafting <cite>Hexenherz posted [p:931397355] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>Trump overturns extra duty for three E-4s who were late for formation <quote>WASHINGTON President Donald Trump has intervened on behalf of three Fort Bragg soldiers who found themselves in trouble recently. Spc. Willis Kerstetter, Michael Mills, and Hector Tapiaeach assigned to Alpha Company, 1st Battalion, 504th Infantryarrived late for first formation Monday morning. First Sgt. Jimmie Owens assigned the soldiers a week of extra duty to help them get themselves correct. Kerstetter went to Twitter and requested the assistance of the Commander-in-Chief. I saw on the internet [President Trump] pardoned some officers who were in trouble, said Kerstetter, so I figured he might help us. I mean, its not like we murdered anyone or anything. To their surprise, word came from brigade headquarters a few hours later informing the soldiers they no longer had to report for extra duty after hours. I couldnt believe it worked, said Mills. I mean, I just figured Kerstetter was being a goof, as usual. But, it fucking worked! Oh, sorry, am I allowed to swear? Trump tweeted Monday night, We train these boys in Specialist Forces [sic] to be killing machines, but then we lock them up for being a few minutes late? A lot of people have been saying these boystheyre amazing soldiers; probably the best we have were given a raw deal. NO WAY!!! None of the three have ever deployed.</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
mustachedmystic 12/10/19 8:40:47 PM #5:	MacDaMurderer posted... Onion article? I should hope so. Even Trump can't be stupid enough to compare a present day SEAL with a comedian from the 1990's. --- Guns; freedom you can hold in your hand. Sampson, Terrordactyl PSN: DarkHoosier <cite>mustachedmystic posted [p:931397363] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>MacDaMurderer posted... </cite> <quote>Onion article?</quote>I should hope so. Even Trump can't be stupid enough to compare a present day SEAL with a comedian from the 1990's. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Irony 12/10/19 8:40:55 PM #6:	Ok now we hit satire --- I am Mogar, God of Irony and The Devourer of Topics. <cite>Irony posted [p:931397371] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>Ok now we hit satire </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
BLAKUboy 12/10/19 8:41:19 PM #7:	MacDaMurderer posted... Onion article? Some site named Duffel Blog or something apparently. ~~Yes it's satire.~~ --- Aeris dies if she takes more damage than her current HP - Panthera https://signavatar.com/26999_s.png <cite>BLAKUboy posted [p:931397388] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>MacDaMurderer posted... </cite> <quote>Onion article?</quote>Some site named Duffel Blog or something apparently. Yes it's satire. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Hanky_Bannister 12/10/19 8:41:58 PM #8:	Hexenherz posted... Trump in a recent meeting with reporters. Not only is he a highly trained killer, but he brought joy and laughter to millions of Americans with his very highly rated and successful act. satire doesnt work with Trump, because we can all literally believe him saying this... --- "3rd Best Whiskey in Northern Burma" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvjOu4EzjYg <cite>Hanky_Bannister posted [p:931397430] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>Hexenherz posted...</cite> <quote>Trump in a recent meeting with reporters. Not only is he a highly trained killer, but he brought joy and laughter to millions of Americans with his very highly rated and successful act.</quote> satire doesnt work with Trump, because we can all literally believe him saying this...</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Machete 12/10/19 8:43:26 PM #9:	this is an onion article but I fully and wholeheartedly commit to believing it is real on account of the fact that donald trump is stupid enough to think what the article says he thinks. --- https://talktotransformer.com The Internet is kind of the whole ****ing Internet. <cite>Machete posted [p:931397497] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>this is an onion article but I fully and wholeheartedly commit to believing it is real on account of the fact that donald trump is stupid enough to think what the article says he thinks. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
creativerealms 12/10/19 8:44:03 PM #10:	This doesn't sound real. --- Occam's razor: The simplest solution (answer) is most likely the right one <cite>creativerealms posted [p:931397527] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>This doesn't sound real. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
BLAKUboy 12/10/19 8:44:20 PM #11:	Hanky_Bannister posted... satire doesnt work with Trump, because we can all literally believe him saying this... What gave it away was the "history of funny" bit. That's too nonsensical even for Trump. Everything else would be par for the Trump course, though. --- Aeris dies if she takes more damage than her current HP - Panthera https://signavatar.com/26999_s.png <cite>BLAKUboy posted [p:931397544] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>Hanky_Bannister posted... </cite> <quote>satire doesnt work with Trump, because we can all literally believe him saying this...</quote>What gave it away was the "history of funny" bit. That's too nonsensical even for Trump. Everything else would be par for the Trump course, though. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
malenz 12/10/19 8:48:16 PM #12:	Hexenherz posted... the Commander-in-Chief is mistaking Chief Eddie Gallagher, a combat veteran known among his colleagues as Blade, with Lee Anthony Gallagher, Jr., a hugely popular comedian from the 1980s lmao <cite>malenz posted [p:931397703] in Trump want... [t:78244197]...</cite> <quote>Hexenherz posted... </cite> <quote>the Commander-in-Chief is mistaking Chief Eddie Gallagher, a combat veteran known among his colleagues as Blade, with Lee Anthony Gallagher, Jr., a hugely popular comedian from the 1980s</quote>lmao </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Trump wants Eddie Gallagher to do that watermelon-smash thing at WH (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Trump wants Eddie Gallagher to do that watermelon-smash thing at WH