Current Events > How big of a dick am i to break up over text?

(+) Yeah! (+)

So a few notes.

My gf is out of state for the next few months. Our schedules dont match and we barely talk now.

We've been fighting a lot and I just outgrew the relationship. It became too much work.

I've been putting it off but been missing my chance since shes been on the east coast.

So should I bite the bullet and do it over text

---

Shes probably fucking someone else anyway, go for it

---

Whats the worst that could happen?

---

I would at least try to face time or something. A break up text is a total loser move.

---

At least phone her. By text is utter shit.

Text her setup a time to speak over the phone then do it. I suggest using the Hey, we need to talk message. Most people get the hint when they see that message

alimajor posted...

Text her setup a time to speak over the phone then do it. I suggest using the Hey, we need to talk message. Most people get the hint when they see that message

That line makes some people really anxious, it's better to lull them in with regular talk so they don't feel like crap going in to the call.

---

they're going to feel like crap afterwards anyway

if you're at a point where you flat out don't want to save the relationship: you want out, that's the truth
just get that shit done and over with for BOTH your sakes
if text is all you got the nerve for, do it

don't be brutal, but don't fucking waste time sugarcoating the truth either (because that IS a fucking waste of time...you're dumping them, they're very likely going to be sour towards you anyway)

if you don't want to stay with someone anymore, the etiquette you should be more concerned about is breaking up with them sooner so you stop wasting their time

---

Unless you're escaping an abuser, breaking up over text is a dick move. If you are eacaping an abuser, ghosting is more tactically sound (also more dickish in absolute terms, but concerns over dickishness go out the window when you're escaping an abuser; this is what you do to survive).

Just make the appointment to talk, and FaceTime would be better. Doing this face-to-face would be even better still, but that may not be feasible unless one of you happens to be travelling at this time of year.

---

In the days before text I had a girl break up with me over email. I really didn't care for that. I don't think it would have played out differently if we'd talked, but I thought she was better than that.

---

People have been breaking up over letters and messages for centuries.

No, it's not nice. It's not supposed to be.
Buck up, buttercup...

---

Wow, the amount of betas who have been broken up over text is high in this topic.

Don't listen to them, doing it over text is the Chad thing to do. You don't owe her more than that.

---

I don't know. On one hand, I think you should at least give a phone call. Say the same shit as here, the distance is too much, you outgrew the relationship, whatever. Try to make it more about you wanting to go another way than her being shitty or whatever. Seems like you don't have any real animosity toward her, you're just tired and want it to be over. Maybe she feels the same way.

You could do it over text if you just don't give a fuck. Maybe it's an easy out for both of you and she won't care enough to protest.

---

I broke up with a girl over AOL one time.....who gives a shit if you dont plan on seeing her again.

---

you shouldn't feel bad. you're way too young if you do.

---

Stop telling us this shit and go tell HER.

Have some damn spine...

---

MetaMajik posted...

Wow, the amount of betas who have been broken up over text is high in this topic.

Don't listen to them, doing it over text is the Chad thing to do. You don't owe her more than that.

Dude, she's still not going to sleep with you on the rebound.

---

Breaking up over text is bad, you gotta do it in person so you can acknowledge the others feelings

https://youtu.be/dU6EMlfjPFA

---

It makes you a micropenis

---

You owe it to yourself to man up, face her in person and tell her it's over.

There are three options here: you break up with her over text and look chickenshit, she breaks up over text and looks chickenshit, or you have the tact to get together with her and talk this whole thing out.

It'd be harder to do, but you're approaching her with respect for the time you both put into the relationship, and you're making an effort to close the book on it with tact and class. There's no doubt that comes from a sterile-ass text, there's no inevitable awkward reunion with weeks and months of anticipating the moment where you have to confront each other in person.

It's gonna suck either way, but you're better off doing this right. A clean break, with all cards on the table and no room to fester in negativity between physical meetings, will be worth it in the long run.

---

the only reason to not break up over text is if you care about her looking back at this moment and how you broke up with her over text rather than face to face. if you don't care about that, then go for it. breaking up in person doesn't feel any better than breaking up over text. I dunno why people are saying that. the only thing breaking up face to face rather than via text is that she might feel less resentful about the breakup. but the key word is "might" and it still comes down to whether or not you care about that resentment

---

see people are saying you'll look like a coward, but the question is do you care, since she's the only one who will have experienced you "being a coward"

I personally wouldn't do it over text but I really don't care if someone else does. I've been broken up with both ways and neither felt better than the other. if anything, the in person breakup was more distressing for me because she was right there and it feels like you could do something about it. seeing the other person adamant that they no longer want to be with you if you still want to be with them makes me feel way more like shit than just seeing a text message. but I know everyone is different. my point is just that it's obviously not a guarantee on which way is better either way, so just go with the method you want to do rather than thinking about how she'll view you

---

R1masher posted...

Shes probably fucking someone else anyway, go for it

---