Current Events > Harry Potter should've carried a M1911.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out.

Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.

Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.

Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.

And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.

Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?

Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.

Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.

I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:

"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."

And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a M1911.
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Ron is the type to unironically own a hi point in 45 acp and say it's better than any glock

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What the fuck is this shit

Middle hope posted...

Ron is the type to unironically own a hi point in 45 acp and say it's better than any glock

lmao
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AvantgardeAClue posted...

Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.

Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.

1. It was Wizarding WWII, not sure what they had going on during WWI, but Wizard War I was Grindlewald doing his own ethnic clensing on muggles.
2. They covered what happens if you see a Basilisk indirectly. You get petrified. Stopping the basilisk before it actually killed someone rather than just petrifying them was the entire plot arc of Chamber of Secrets.
3. It's implied that muggle tech doesn't work at Hogwarts because of all the magical influence for some reason, and outright stated during Goblet of Fire.

I only quoted how much I actually read, because honestly those ideas were dumb enough on their own and I couldn't take more. Did you even read the books?
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It's a copypasta dawg relax

Although I will address this

Crazyman93 posted...

2. They covered what happens if you see a Basilisk indirectly. You get petrified. Stopping the basilisk before it actually killed someone rather than just petrifying them was the entire plot arc of Chamber of Secrets.

Breaching a wall in the chamber of secrets then tossing a flashbang to blind it means that the lightning is probably low (since flash bangs would also fuck up NVGs) and therefore you wouldn't need to make eye contact in the first place

Crazyman93 posted...

3. It's implied that muggle tech doesn't work at Hogwarts because of all the magical influence for some reason, and outright stated during Goblet of Fire.

No, just electricity. Harry and Ron had ordinary watches throughout Goblet of Fire
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Why tf cant I stop laughing
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AvantgardeAClue posted...

Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?

Saying a spell when you know they're about to do it, mind reading was a plot point brought up in Order of the Phoenix.

This is a dumb copy pasta.
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Crazyman93 posted...

AvantgardeAClue posted...

Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?

Saying a spell when you know they're about to do it, mind reading was a plot point brought up in Order of the Phoenix.

This is a dumb copy pasta.

Mind-reading was a Voldemort-exclusive issue mostly though

Death Eaters could still get fucked lol
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AvantgardeAClue posted...

Crazyman93 posted...

AvantgardeAClue posted...

Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?

Saying a spell when you know they're about to do it, mind reading was a plot point brought up in Order of the Phoenix.

This is a dumb copy pasta.

Mind-reading was a Voldemort-exclusive issue mostly though

Death Eaters could still get fucked lol

Snape could do it and he was a middling class wizard. And he could do it in combat, as seen in Half-Blood Prince.
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This is fucking stupid.

I love it.

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Harry Potter is a bloody Britt, not an American.

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