Current Events > Batman: I move quietly like the night and get the drop on unsuspecting criminals

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DinosaurBrain
10/23/19 1:50:50 PM
#1:


*Fires up rocket propelled car*

Wonder if he'll ever switch to a Tesla.
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LordMarshal
10/23/19 1:52:07 PM
#2:


Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.
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#3
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darkphoenix181
10/23/19 1:52:48 PM
#4:


LordMarshal posted...
Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.


Never killed anyone
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Tyranthraxus
10/23/19 1:53:15 PM
#5:


LordMarshal posted...
Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.


No he wouldn't, he's rich.

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darkphoenix181
10/23/19 1:53:52 PM
#6:


Also, poison ivy is a well placed nemesis for bat jet fuel burning billionaire batman bruce wayne
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UnfairRepresent
10/23/19 1:55:55 PM
#7:


darkphoenix181 posted...
LordMarshal posted...
Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.


Never killed anyone

So?
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LordMarshal
10/23/19 1:56:34 PM
#8:


darkphoenix181 posted...
LordMarshal posted...
Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.


Never killed anyone


Batmans Jigsaw!
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LordMarshal
10/23/19 1:58:00 PM
#9:


Tyranthraxus posted...
LordMarshal posted...
Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.


No he wouldn't, he's rich.


Good rebuttal. I would argue his race would help as well. But i honestly dont see gotham as a very diverse place....
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__aCEr__
10/23/19 1:59:49 PM
#10:


Does Bruce Wayne ever think about the medical bills of all those low income people he cripples?
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Questionmarktarius
10/23/19 2:00:58 PM
#11:


LordMarshal posted...
Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.

...not in the 60s.
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LordMarshal
10/23/19 2:02:30 PM
#12:


Bruce waynes at least 70-80 years old.
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Questionmarktarius
10/23/19 2:05:55 PM
#13:


LordMarshal posted...
Bruce waynes at least 70-80 years old.

mo76p4i
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DevsBro
10/23/19 3:16:46 PM
#14:


Batman's stealth affinity has been blown out of proportion in the last couple of decades.

Sure, he gets sneaky when he needs to be. When he's investigating or eavesdropping, or when he's outnumbered and outgunned. But he also walks straight into some conflicts because he needs to confront the other on legal or ethical grounds, because he's also a master of like every martial art or whatever.
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DevsBro
10/23/19 3:18:32 PM
#15:


__aCEr__ posted...
Does Bruce Wayne ever think about the medical bills of all those low income people he cripples?

The Wayne Foundation actually has some low-income healthcare facilities that it operates in Gotham.
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DinosaurBrain
10/23/19 3:19:26 PM
#16:


I guess he also kind of dropped the whole "going out on patrol, let's stop a mugging" thing. He's too important for that.
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LordMarshal
10/23/19 3:21:01 PM
#17:


No one can master all martial arts. So hes not human.
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DevsBro
10/23/19 3:28:50 PM
#18:


LordMarshal posted...
No one can master all martial arts. So hes not human.

The hardest thing to believe to me about Batman isn't even that. It's not that he can outrun an elephant or benchpress a pickup truck, or has like ten masters degrees, nor that he has accomplished all this by like 30.

No, the hardest thing to believe about Batman is that he can, during freefall, use his grapnel gun to hook onto a ledge with 100% accuracy, have it hook on the first try and stop his entire body weight with one hand holding a pistol grip without breaking or dislocating anything.

Super. Powers.
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IHeartRadiation
10/23/19 3:31:06 PM
#19:


Tyranthraxus posted...
LordMarshal posted...
Batman: Im literally a criminal. Id serve life i were ever arrested.


No he wouldn't, he's rich.

You act like he wouldn't get immediately sued by everyone he ever touched.
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Tyranthraxus
10/23/19 3:34:05 PM
#20:


IHeartRadiation posted...
You act like he wouldn't get immediately sued by everyone he ever touched.


Open and shut good samaratan defense unless he's beating up innocent people.

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IHeartRadiation
10/23/19 3:37:52 PM
#21:


Tyranthraxus posted...
IHeartRadiation posted...
You act like he wouldn't get immediately sued by everyone he ever touched.


Open and shut good samaratan defense unless he's beating up innocent people.

He's broken a lot of bones though, and he obviously doesn't use standard pain compliance techniques.
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BLAKUboy
10/23/19 3:40:06 PM
#22:


DinosaurBrain posted...
I guess he also kind of dropped the whole "going out on patrol, let's stop a mugging" thing. He's too important for that.

He's got like 5 Robins for that.
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Tupacrulez
10/23/19 5:08:59 PM
#23:


DevsBro posted...
LordMarshal posted...
No one can master all martial arts. So hes not human.

The hardest thing to believe to me about Batman isn't even that. It's not that he can outrun an elephant or benchpress a pickup truck, or has like ten masters degrees, nor that he has accomplished all this by like 30.

No, the hardest thing to believe about Batman is that he can, during freefall, use his grapnel gun to hook onto a ledge with 100% accuracy, have it hook on the first try and stop his entire body weight with one hand holding a pistol grip without breaking or dislocating anything.

Super. Powers.


That's not even unique in comicbookland.
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Phantom_Nook
10/23/19 5:16:33 PM
#24:


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