Current Events > I really don't know what thefuck to do, anyone got advice?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Im constantly stuck in my own head thinking about things but Im not depressed really, theres no sorrow or anything
If I spend time with people I occasionally will stir from being stuck in my head and try to say something funny to make people laugh but thats about it
I cant really bring myself to care about things, like out of recent attempts, I tried and failed to learn Japanese, start exercising and to read more books. I just cant briing myself to do it consistently
Generally I spend my days in my room with the door closed chainvaping refreshing forums and twitter and discord servers to distract myself from the boredom. I have no hobbies
I dont have a job nor do I go to school, I would like to but Im sure I would end up giving up
I feel like I dont have a purpose and at times I often feel sort of alien I just dont understand people or the world at times. I have a date tommorow, maybe somehow she will fix me but I doubt it and Im sure shell end up leaving me or it wont get past the first date
But Im not quite sad really. I dont think theres a word for this feeling. At least not in English, Im sure the fucking Germans have came up with one. /blogfaqs

---

I think we are probably from out of this world. Its our curse.
---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

but Im not depressed really, theres no sorrow or anything

Depression doesn't inherently mean sadness. It definitely sounds like you're suffering from depression to me. You should try and find a therapist to talk to for a little bit. Even if it's just a session or two, sometimes it's helpful just to get a proper diagnosis and a bit more insight into exactly how it's affecting you. Once you recognize your symptoms it becomes much easier to notice them in-the-moment and do something to get yourself out of it before it spirals.
---

how do you get money for food
---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

I dont have a job nor do I go to school,

Well, for starters, do one or both of these. Not saying it will fix your life, but you said you don't even have depression.
---

Turtlebread posted...

how do you get money for food

i live with my parents and am only 18

Aristoph posted...

Depression doesn't inherently mean sadness. It definitely sounds like you're suffering from depression to me. You should try and find a therapist to talk to for a little bit. Even if it's just a session or two, sometimes it's helpful just to get a proper diagnosis and a bit more insight into exactly how it's affecting you. Once you recognize your symptoms it becomes much easier to notice them in-the-moment and do something to get yourself out of it before it spirals.

mayhaps but i doubt they can help me
and this may sound childish but i dont feel like it

Pepys Monster posted...

Well, for starters, do one or both of these. Not saying it will fix your life, but you said you don't even have depression.

in high school i would go to class and just do nothing so i would either get fired or be wasting my money

EzeDoesIt posted...

I think we are probably from out of this world. Its our curse.

perhaps

---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

in high school i would go to class and just do nothing so i would either get fired or be wasting my money

If you get fired, so be it. At least you tried. And if you drop out of school, so be it. Maybe you'll have a good experience.
---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

Turtlebread posted...

how do you get money for food

i live with my parents and am only 18

that's okay then
give it some time, you can fuck around for about a year and maybe you'll feel better afterwards
---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

mayhaps but i doubt they can help me

Yeah, you're probably right. I also doubt the people who spent decades in school and training specifically to help people with mental health problems would be able to do anything to help someone with mental health problems. -_-

Ryuko_Chan posted...

and this may sound childish but i dont feel like it

Which is precisely the problem you claim to want to fix. At some point, you have to just get off your ass and take that first step. Call a therapist and set up an appointment. Even if you don't feel like it. I bet you don't feel like being miserable anymore either, but you're definitely still doing the things that make you that way. It hasn't worked so far, so what's the harm in trying something different this time?
---

i went to therapy before and it was pretty useless
i just told my mom i felt better so i didnt have to go anymore

---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

i went to therapy before and it was pretty useless
i just told my mom i felt better so i didnt have to go anymore

What kind of therapy was it? There are quite a few different schools of thought on the subject that all work in subtly different ways and in subtly different circumstances. Try a different one. And just try to remember that, in therapy, you get out what you put in. So if you just go through the motions and don't actually put any effort into it, you're not going to see real changes. But that's not the fault of the therapy.

I highly recommend listening to this podcast:
https://www.npr.org/2015/01/09/375928124/dark-thoughts

They talk about a few different ideologies various kinds of therapy use, and it may give you some insight into which might work best for you and give you some direction in searching for a therapist that could really help.
---

Try another therapist. They're all different.

Other than that, the only advice I have is that you can choose to continue the way you are or change something-- even a small thing. No one can do it for you, and it won't just happen on its own.

---

I think what would save me is if I were good at something, literally anything
im painfully mediocre at best at everything i do and it sucks

---

Not to sound insensitive but it sounds like boredom. Try some new hobbies or volunteer somewhere. You said you had no job and didn't go to school, it's just too much time on your hands leading you to think too much.
---

Pepys Monster posted...

Ryuko_Chan posted...

I dont have a job nor do I go to school,

Well, for starters, do one or both of these. Not saying it will fix your life, but you said you don't even have depression.

Getting a job right away isn't always the best solution...

You need to be in the right headspace in order to show up on time every day and do the work properly. Without that it might end badly and make the situation worse. But work shouldnt be avoided forever, obviously

Edit: try low stakes volunteering I guess? Also maybe join a mental health youth group. If you live in a city there are probably a few that offer skills building and activities and etc
---

Get a job and go to therapy and stop lying to your parents about it
---

Find a passion. Doesn't matter what, as long as you're passionate about it. That's all the advice I can give when it comes to fulfilment.

Oh, and:

Ryuko_Chan posted...

I have a date tommorow, maybe somehow she will fix me but I doubt it and Im sure shell end up leaving me or it wont get past the first date

Most likely if she'll notice you need fixing, she won't stick around. Don't ever go into a relationship seeking help. 99% of the time it'll backfire.

I've been sort of like this, and I can't really say I have any constructive advice to give. Maybe starting doing something really "crazy" and out of the norm for you to shake things up a LOT
---

I'll be honest with you. If you are suffering from depression these feelings you are having are only going to get worse. I had everything I could want and still had these feelings and I eventually attempted suicide because they wouldn't go away. I'm not saying it is a guarantee that it will end up the same for you, but when I look back I wish I had dealt with them at your age instead of waiting until I was 32 with a wife and 2 kids to start feeling better. If I had succeeded in my suicide my kids would not have a father right now.
---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

I'll be honest with you. If you are suffering from depression these feelings you are having are only going to get worse. I had everything I could want and still had these feelings and I eventually attempted suicide because they wouldn't go away. I'm not saying it is a guarantee that it will end up the same for you, but when I look back I wish I had dealt with them at your age instead of waiting until I was 32 with a wife and 2 kids to start feeling better. If I had succeeded in my suicide my kids would not have a father right now.

was your username choice possibly influenced by this before you even knew you were actually in need of help or even once you knew something was wrong?
---

TC, tell me how you think things will pan out from each of the following options:

a) You try to get therapy now

b) you try to get therapy in ten years

c) you never try to get therapy
---

get a fuckin job

---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

Im sure the f***ing Germans have came up with one.

This immediately bought the word Weltschmerz to mind.
Ennui sounds kinda close too.
---

Not being in school or having a job is a double whammy for depression, since it takes away daily structure/routine and gives a feeling that you're not contributing to society.

You can alleviate the first part with some discipline. Don't do stupid shit like stay up until 4am on the Internet or gaming. Get up at a normal, consistent time, and establish a routine (like exercise at 9am every morning).

As for the second, you need something to give your life purpose. Ideally, this is a job, since that also provides income. But it can really be anything, including volunteer work or just offering to help people using some skill you have.

Both of the above are also easier if you have a friend you can do them with, especially if you're both in the same place in life. That's not needed, but it can help provide extra motivation

It's not an easy spot to be in in life, but it's not permanent. And it's not hopeless.
---

Ryuko_Chan posted...

I think what would save me is if I were good at something, literally anything
im painfully mediocre at best at everything i do and it sucks

Kind of a catch-22 there. In order to get good at something you have to spend time at it. In order to spend time at it, you have to have some kind of motivation.
---

amzpeng posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

I'll be honest with you. If you are suffering from depression these feelings you are having are only going to get worse. I had everything I could want and still had these feelings and I eventually attempted suicide because they wouldn't go away. I'm not saying it is a guarantee that it will end up the same for you, but when I look back I wish I had dealt with them at your age instead of waiting until I was 32 with a wife and 2 kids to start feeling better. If I had succeeded in my suicide my kids would not have a father right now.

was your username choice possibly influenced by this before you even knew you were actually in need of help or even once you knew something was wrong?

It's a possibility, sure. But I was pretty deliberate on the choice at the time.
---

I know you said you've already tried I can't stress how much routine exercise helps mental health. We are not meant to be sedentary animals. You may find that consistent exercise will better your overall mood, energy levels, and reduce internal chatter. Best of all, it's monetarily free, just go jogging outside for 30 minutes. I promise you it gets easier as you build momentum. If you run as little as 3x a week for a month, you'll not want to break your streak and keep it up.

Good luck on whatever you do to try to better yourself.
---

Holy_Pumpkin posted...

I know you said you've already tried I can't stress how much routine exercise helps mental health. We are not meant to be sedentary animals. You may find that consistent exercise will better your overall mood, energy levels, and reduce internal chatter. Best of all, it's monetarily free, just go jogging outside for 30 minutes.

even if you don't jog, just go for a casual stroll around the block assuming your neighborhood is safe enough, or go do so at a park or something. something about being out in nature, being around other people even if you're not interacting with them, and the physical activity can do wonders
---

your issue is that you have no aim and goal in life and are living in a room 24/7, and you are 18 so nows the time to change your life and do something. get a job, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you have to have discipline and be there on time to work youll start to have all these negative thoughts go away. go get a job at chipotle or something and maybe in a month of doing work and being on time every day youll realize that life can be good.
---

i read everyones posts and am thankful for them. also i went on the date and i think i like her, and i think she likes me
Guide posted...

TC, tell me how you think things will pan out from each of the following options:

a) You try to get therapy now

b) you try to get therapy in ten years

c) you never try to get therapy

i think no matter what the same result will occur

---