Current Events > POLL: Who was out of line, me or my coworker? /blogfaqs

(+) Yeah! (+)

So my coworker, let's call her "L", had a complete meltdown today over something I did and I think she was being waaaay too touchy. Tell me what you think.

So L came in and tried to take my register. I told her I was already on that register (which she could see by my name being signed in on the screen). She said she didn't see me on it (because I wasn't standing in front of it on account of I was helping another coworker with something) so she was taking it. The tone I got from this was that she was just joking around, though she really was taking my register. I decided to let it go and just move to another register, but not before joking back by saying, "Ok, fiiiine, you can have my register you cretin!" before I bumped/nudged her hip with my hip, moving her slightly. Well, this triggered her, HARD. She freaked the fuck out, told me to NEVER "shove" her again, and I just laughed it off saying it was just a joke. Well, that wasn't enough for her. I went on with my business of doing whatever work stuff when a few minutes later she walked up to me with a supervisor, told me to stop what I was doing and proceeded to ream me for about 10 minutes. She went on and on about how disrespectful it was for me to shove her, that she had a bad ankle so I couldn't do anything physical to her in case she gets hurt (somehow), that I don't know boundaries, that I had no idea what she had been through that day (her car broke down), blah blah blah. She even took offense to me trying to beat her checkout time (where I work, our every transaction is timed and we get a chart every month of who's the fastest) and with how I'm number one in credit card signups. Like she's never heard of friendly competition before or she wants me to do my job worse to make her look better? She's LITERALLY taking me being good at my job as an insult to her, even though we're all told CONSTANTLY to go as fast as possible. She even started tearing up. This fucking 40 year old woman with more ink than skin at this point is getting choked up about this shit. Anyway, I tried to tell her I don't have an axe to grind against her and I meant the nudge as a joke. I even said that if she wanted to be that way then I don't appreciate the jokes she makes at me. Her response was, "I can't help being who I am. I'm just gonna keep being that way because it's my personality." So it's ok for her and not for me? What the fuck? What makes this even more fucking bonkers is that she jokes and jeers and plays around with me all the time. It's not like she's super serious all the time. One of her nicknames for me is "ass" for fuck's sake. We regularly talk about strip clubs and the wild nights we have. When her daughter came to pick her up after work the other day I even made a suggestive comment about her daughter being hot and she laughed at that! But bumping her gently is over the line? In the end, I couldn't get a fucking word in edgewise to defend myself, was forced to apologise, and got through the rest of my shift the best I could all the while she was shooting daggers at me. This isn't the first time she couldn't take a joke, either. She sure can dish it out, but she can't take it in kind. So who was right and who was wrong in this situation?

tl;dr L took my register, I bumped L in a joking way, she freaked out, started throwing a fit even though she jokes around all the time and tore me a new one for it. Who was right and who was wrong?
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Somebody call Mr. Gorbachev, we got a wall to tear down.

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DrizztLink posted...

Somebody call Mr. Gorbachev, we got a wall to tear down.

Seriously.

You backed down. That's on you. I've learned at work if you just fold people will try to walk all over you. If you just once, pop an attitude, people will shut the fuck DOWN. You're the loser on this one.
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DrizztLink posted...

Somebody call Mr. Gorbachev, we got a wall to tear down.

Haha, it is a bit of a text wall. But, you know how women are. We really like details.

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

DrizztLink posted...

Somebody call Mr. Gorbachev, we got a wall to tear down.

Seriously.

You backed down. That's on you. I've learned at work if you just fold people will try to walk all over you. If you just once, pop an attitude, people will shut the fuck DOWN. You're the loser on this one.

That's a good point, but I generally don't like to make waves at work. Though, I won't be at this job for much longer. I got a much better job, I'm just waiting for orientation. But still, I want to maintain good relations with this job in case my new one doesn't work out and I have to go back somewhere to make some money while I search for another job.
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It doesn't matter. You know you were right and that bitch just took your register and pulled all that extra shit?
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

It doesn't matter. You know you were right and that bitch just took your register and pulled all that extra shit?

Well, she lost my respect. I'm not helping her with anything at work for the next two weeks and I'm just gonna snub her. If she wants to play that card, I'll give her the whole deck. She jokes at me, I'll tell her I don't find it funny. She calls me a nickname, I'll tell her I find it offensive. I'll shut her down every chance I get.
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SableWolfAngel posted...

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

It doesn't matter. You know you were right and that bitch just took your register and pulled all that extra shit?

Well, she lost my respect. I'm not helping her with anything at work for the next two weeks and I'm just gonna snub her. If she wants to play that card, I'll give her the whole deck. She jokes at me, I'll tell her I don't find it funny. She calls me a nickname, I'll tell her I find it offensive. I'll shut her down every chance I get.

Damn right. Push her buttons to make her lose her cool. Get her fired while you're cleanly doing the two-step out the door.
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

SableWolfAngel posted...

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

It doesn't matter. You know you were right and that bitch just took your register and pulled all that extra shit?

Well, she lost my respect. I'm not helping her with anything at work for the next two weeks and I'm just gonna snub her. If she wants to play that card, I'll give her the whole deck. She jokes at me, I'll tell her I don't find it funny. She calls me a nickname, I'll tell her I find it offensive. I'll shut her down every chance I get.

Damn right. Push her buttons to make her lose her cool. Get her fired while you're cleanly doing the two-step out the door.

I don't think I could get her fired lol. She's been there a LOT longer than I have and is training to be a supervisor. I doubt they'll toss her over something so minor, especially since I'm leaving.
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That's ok you just insinuate to the boss that someone with that many tattoos must have a heroin problem. Just everything you can to get upper management to doubt her abilities.
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

That's ok you just insinuate to the boss that someone with that many tattoos must have a heroin problem. Just everything you can to get upper management to doubt her abilities.

Yo dude, that's fucked up xD
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Yo dude, you know what's fucked up? What she did to you. If you want to just sit back and let her continue that kind of behavior then you're putting me in jeopardy in the far off chance I have to work with that cum dumpster in the future.
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Yo dude, you know what's fucked up? What she did to you. If you want to just sit back and let her continue that kind of behavior then you're putting me in jeopardy in the far off chance I have to work with that cum dumpster in the future.

Don't worry, I'll fuck with her next time I work with her. Hell, I could just bump her again and she'll start crying crocodile tears. I'll just turn around or backup when she's behind me and "accidently" bump into her. So harmless, yet so effective.
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Make her meltdown more!

CarrieChan posted...

Make her meltdown more!

It's not that hard, apparently. Make all the "your daughter is a fine piece of ass" jokes all you want, but a little boop on the side is a fucking travesty lmao
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CarrieChan posted...

Make her meltdown more!

Turn her into Sharonobyl

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CarrieChan posted...

Make her meltdown more!

Ohhhh meltdown used mean something. There's nothing remotely close to a meltdown here. Were just talking business.
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DrizztLink posted...

CarrieChan posted...

Make her meltdown more!

Turn her into Sharonobyl

Top kek.

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

CarrieChan posted...

Make her meltdown more!

Ohhhh meltdown used mean something. There's nothing remotely close to a meltdown here. Were just talking business.

This was a real life meltdown then with real tears lol
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Bumping someone with your hip doesn't cause meltdowns unless someone is mentally fucked. Use that.
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Just don't talk to her anymore.
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Sada_Pop posted...

Just don't talk to her anymore.

That doesn't actually fix the problem now does it?
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Bumping someone with your hip doesn't cause meltdowns unless someone is mentally fucked. Use that.

Maybe I should goose her next time lmao
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SableWolfAngel posted...

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Bumping someone with your hip doesn't cause meltdowns unless someone is mentally fucked. Use that.

Maybe I should goose her next time lmao

If by goose you mean spill a little olive oil where she works, i''d certainly look the other way.
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

SableWolfAngel posted...

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Bumping someone with your hip doesn't cause meltdowns unless someone is mentally fucked. Use that.

Maybe I should goose her next time lmao

If by goose you mean spill a little olive oil where she works, i''d certainly look the other way.

That is not what I meant XD
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But your gut was thinking it.
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I just wanna bring @the_doge in here because I think he's in love with you and I wanna really burn his ass up by getting along with you.
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SableWolfAngel posted...

where I work, our every transaction is timed and we get a chart every month of who's the fastest

What the fuck. I worked some shit retail jobs but I've never seen this. Good way to promote fuck ups

Anyway she just sounds like a shitty co-worker and probably already hated you

Don't get physical with co-workers, not unless they're long time friends, or excellent mates you hang out with outside of work. Even if the whole solar system of text there didn't seem to suggest any serious situation, and even if she may well be a complete bellend, you don't touch them. It's as simple as that. You don't know how they'll react, simply because you don't know them.

You were in the wrong to bump her, even in the most friendly manner. It's a formal work place you were in. AND, you don't genuinely know them. Unless, see first sentence etc.
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

I just wanna bring @the_doge in here because I think he's in love with you and I wanna really burn his ass up by getting along with you.

When have we ever not got along? You say weird stuff, but it's usually funny and harmless. I like your gimmick. The best part is you know when to tone it down.

Axiom posted...

SableWolfAngel posted...

where I work, our every transaction is timed and we get a chart every month of who's the fastest

What the fuck. I worked some shit retail jobs but I've never seen this. Good way to promote fuck ups

Anyway she just sounds like a shitty co-worker and probably already hated you

It's an antiquated practice. Macy's used to do it I think. The only solace from it is that there's not exactly a disincentive nor incentive to actually do it. Sure, you get praise if you're fast, but you don't get written up if you're not. You might get yelled at, but there's essentially no real consequence.

I don't think she did, she just gets bent out of shape over seemingly random things. Like I said, I made a sexually charged comment about her daughter (and I meant it; I wasn't kidding), but a few months ago she, like, dropped something or messed something minor up (I can't even remember it was so minor) and I said something like, "Man, what do we pay ya for?" or something like that and she freaked out at that, too. She seems to be ok with sex jokes, but not ok with jokes that poke fun at her performance. Usually, it's the other way around. I'm ok with both and she's poked fun at something I've messed up before, sometimes apropo of nothing and I've rolled with it by saying stuff like "You know me, you can't trust me with anything" or "Yup, just another shift with [Sable]; a total disaster" and she's laughed at that. I guess if it's at my expense it's funny, but if it's at her expense it's unprofessional and offensive and cruel. Total hypocrisy.
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DarthWendy posted...

Don't get physical with co-workers, not unless they're long time friends, or excellent mates you hang out with outside of work. Even if the whole solar system of text there didn't seem to suggest any serious situation, and even if she may well be a complete bellend, you don't touch them. It's as simple as that. You don't know how they'll react, simply because you don't know them.

You were in the wrong to bump her, even in the most friendly manner. It's a formal work place you were in. AND, you don't genuinely know them. Unless, see first sentence etc.

I see what you're saying, and I'd say you're pretty much right, but context is kind of important. She's touched me before so I thought she wouldn't mind. She's pinched me, rustled my hair, grabbed me, all sorts of stuff. All in jest and I don't care. A few of my other coworkers do the same thing. Why is it ok for her to touch me but I can't touch her? What's the difference? Where's the boundary there? So I can pinch and tug and jostle my coworkers, but if I tell them not to touch me they just have to deal with it?
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Whaaaat? They didn't bend you over the counter? Why do you put up with that shit!?
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Whaaaat? They didn't bend you over the counter? Why do you put up with that shit!?

Because I need money to live. I'd let them beat me if I got paid a hell of a lot more. I'm always desperate for money and, sometimes, I don't care how I get it. That's what being poor does to you. You truly learn the price of your dignity. I must make about 10k a year at this job. Every penny counts.
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You need to better yourself. At the very least get some confidence going. You're only holding yourself back.

/afterschoolspecial
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

You need to better yourself. At the very least get some confidence going. You're only holding yourself back.

/afterschoolspecial

Don't worry, I got a much better job. I have less than two weeks left at this job before starting my new one and it pays much MUCH better. And with the experience I'll be getting with this new job I could get an even better job in the same field that pays even more. I'm done with retail. I've been doing retail for about 3 years now and I'm sick of it. I do have confidence, but screaming back at someone isn't necessary to show it. Getting a better life than them is a better way to show it. I'll be the one making money hand over fist while she works two jobs into her 50s just to stay afloat because she has no other marketable skills other than pushing buttons on a cash register. While she keeps whining about her car breaking down, I'll be the one leasing a brand new car and rolling around in style. I'm confident I'm moving up in the world while she stays down in the pits of customer service.
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Just dont physically touch another coworker unless its a tap on the shoulder because they cant hear you. Stopped reading op when I got to that part.
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SableWolfAngel posted...

I can't help being who I am. I'm just gonna keep being that way because it's my personality

I can't stand people who are like this, like it's some sort of immunity to be an asshole.
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DarthWendy posted...

Don't get physical with co-workers, not unless they're long time friends, or excellent mates you hang out with outside of work. Even if the whole solar system of text there didn't seem to suggest any serious situation, and even if she may well be a complete bellend, you don't touch them. It's as simple as that. You don't know how they'll react, simply because you don't know them.

You were in the wrong to bump her, even in the most friendly manner. It's a formal work place you were in. AND, you don't genuinely know them. Unless, see first sentence etc.

And even if you do know them, it's still a risky proposition. Best to avoid.

SableWolfAngel posted...

I see what you're saying, and I'd say you're pretty much right, but context is kind of important. She's touched me before so I thought she wouldn't mind. She's pinched me, rustled my hair, grabbed me, all sorts of stuff. All in jest and I don't care. A few of my other coworkers do the same thing. Why is it ok for her to touch me but I can't touch her? What's the difference? Where's the boundary there? So I can pinch and tug and jostle my coworkers, but if I tell them not to touch me they just have to deal with it?

Honestly, none of that really matters. Maybe it might help reduce whatever consequence comes your way, at the end of the day, you touched her, she didn't want to be touched, you're in the wrong. Whether you are okay with being touched by your coworkers, and whether she is one who has touched you before, doesn't change that she did not want to be touched by you.

Harassment/bullying/etc is always taken from the perspective of the victim.

My experience in these topics is as upper management dealing with situations like this arising and having to work with employees to resolve this (and prevent a lawsuit).

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Wow that attitude is hot. I like you a lot now.
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ahh yes. a male cashier. been there done that. i'll get modded i'm sure for sounding chauvinist but when you are the lone male working with a bunch of women you will see things in a different light. it got to the point where i didn't even question anything anymore. just show up, try to avoid as much drama as possible and gtfo.
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Date coworkers daughter.
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Hypocrites like L deserve no respect and should be called out for it next time it happens.
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You shouldn't have let her run all over you. Tell the super what she does to you, that she stole your register etc. Fight back.
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stoltenberg11 posted...

You shouldn't have let her run all over you. Tell the super what she does to you, that she stole your register etc. Fight back.

I already told her that. I know you showed up late but the least you could do is read through the topic.
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Who cares lol. Besides hearing more than one person say it reinforces the idea.
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stoltenberg11 posted...

Who cares lol. Besides hearing more than one person say it reinforces the idea.

That's true. Start telling her when she makes a lot of money she should get hitched to my wagon. I'm tired of working.
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Show the bitch dominance. Piss on her, then shit on the bonnet of her car.
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masticatingman posted...

Just dont physically touch another coworker unless its a tap on the shoulder because they cant hear you. Stopped reading op when I got to that part.

You skipped, like, 3/4 of the story. You might want to finish it to get the full breadth of the situation.

@gloBal enemy posted...

Honestly, none of that really matters. Maybe it might help reduce whatever consequence comes your way, at the end of the day, you touched her, she didn't want to be touched, you're in the wrong. Whether you are okay with being touched by your coworkers, and whether she is one who has touched you before, doesn't change that she did not want to be touched by you.

Harassment/bullying/etc is always taken from the perspective of the victim.

My experience in these topics is as upper management dealing with situations like this arising and having to work with employees to resolve this (and prevent a lawsuit).

It's hard for me to fight the words of a ? Block, but don't you think each situation is it's own pocket occurrence? It's not the fact that I touched her that bothered her, it's that I pushed her. I've touched her before and she didn't care. She just didn't like it this time for this reason and in this situation specifically. And what defines a victim? The person that gets more upset at the situation? Is she the victim for being pushed? Or am I the victim for being bullied off my register then torn down for something with good intentions? Who got hurt here? Both of us, but there can be only one victim in a formal work place complaint proceeding/investigation. I hope I didn't make you mad, sir... That's just how I feel...

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Wow that attitude is hot. I like you a lot now.

Let's cruise in my new ride, sweetcheeks [;

@SauI_Goodman posted...

ahh yes. a male cashier. been there done that. i'll get modded i'm sure for sounding chauvinist but when you are the lone male working with a bunch of women you will see things in a different light. it got to the point where i didn't even question anything anymore. just show up, try to avoid as much drama as possible and gtfo.

Um, ok? We have a few male cashiers, what does that have to do with my situation?

Strider102 posted...

Date coworkers daughter.

That would really stick it in her craw! I love it!!

Paragon21XX posted...

Hypocrites like L deserve no respect and should be called out for it next time it happens.

Maybe when I'm firmly placed in my new job I'll go back there, shop, go to her specifically, and make it hell for her lol
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Hicks233 posted...

Show the bitch dominance. Piss on her, then shit on the bonnet of her car.

Wouldn't that just really wake you up in the morning if you pulled into that stores parking lot and saw SableWolfAngel out there yellin "I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE!!!" and she just explodes liquid shit out of her ass onto some other employees car?
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

stoltenberg11 posted...

Who cares lol. Besides hearing more than one person say it reinforces the idea.

That's true. Start telling her when she makes a lot of money she should get hitched to my wagon. I'm tired of working.

Are you proposing to me? And also saying you'll be a househusband?

Hicks233 posted...

Show the bitch dominance. Piss on her, then shit on the bonnet of her car.

Not sure how I'd accomplish the first one unless I ripped my pants off and she was kneeling down at the perfect angle...
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I mean I might propose to you one day. You seem like you're in an uncertain employment situation right now. But when you can keep me liquored up all day every day i'll gladly drop to one knee even if it's because i'm drunk and have fallen.
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Johnny_Nutcase posted...

I mean I might propose to you one day. You seem like you're in an uncertain employment situation right now. But when you can keep me liquored up all day every day i'll gladly drop to one knee even if it's because i'm drunk and have fallen.

Nothing turns me on more than a man who knows what he wants and is honest and pragmatic about his desires. Talk about unf.
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