Current Events > i was homeless on and off between the ages of 4 and 14* ama

(+) Yeah! (+)

*13, but a month or so before I turned 14

My dad was arrested for possession when I was 4 and my mom and I became homeless shortly afterwards. We lived in an RV for a while but then it broke down. We kept living in it for a while in a parking lot at a strip mall, but the retail establishments complained (I mean, justifiably tbf) so we got it towed to where she worked at an office park actually.

That also didn't work out so we ended up in an actual homeless shelter. That worked okay but my dad was at this point getting out into a halfway house sort of situations. He relapsed a few times and went back to jail, but when he got out for real we tried to got an apartment (he wasn't allowed in the homeless shelter, though it was a family shelter with men and lots aren't just FYI).

But he had trouble finding work partially due to his criminal record. He worked under the table in construction and we sort of bounced around in illegal living situations -- renting out rooms in houses over the occupancy limits/where it wasn't permitted mostly.

But in 2001 the dot com bubble burst and he got laid off; he built offices and installed cubicles in the bay area so it hit us pretty hard even though it wasn't a big national thing.

That's when stuff got really bad. We got unexpectedly got locked out of our 'apartment' but it was an illegal living arrangement so no lease or recourse. Lost basically everything. We had to live in a literal crack house (cooked it and sold it there) which was kind of both due to it being super cheap because of a lot of vagrants living there and also because my dad likes crack so he knew the dude that owned the place. Me and my mom and my dad all lived in one bedroom of this like hey Arnold style boarding house.

One day the cops raided the house. The landlord/druglord busted into our room with a big bag. Asked my dad to stash it then rushed back out to deal with the cops. I was terrified, crying my eyes out, all of it. The cops came into our room and saw me and asked to speak to my parents in the hall way. They didn't search our room, I'm p sure cuz we were an unexpected white family.

I later learned that was an illegal(?) gun. Crazy stuff man.

My dad would do other stuff, like getting money orders/depositing cash etc I assume partially selected to do so due to his whiteness. I myself was a lookout for a time but that involvement in crime lead my mom to taking me and leaving my dad.

Well we lived in a car but that broke down so my mom lost her job. Car got towed, too. My mom reached back out to my dad for help and he was working a little under the table and one of his clients let us live in their shed. That's when my mom reached out to her sister in Arkansas and she wired us money to get the car and move out here.

Not sure why I typed this all up I've never expressed the whole story in writing before though it felt kinda nice

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Damn.

What kind of social programs would be most effective for helping people in this situation? How are your parents now? Do you resent the system or do you believe personal choices were to blame?

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That's nuts. As an adult, do you keep in touch with your dad? There's so many directions a relationship could take after a childhood like that. Are you understanding? Angry? Full of pity?

Anyways, hope sharing helped somehow. Letting things out can be really cathartic sometimes.
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How did you end up after all of this? Where are you in life now?

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I mean for my personal case I think the war on drugs/our punitive legal system is definitely what I blame for a large part of it. Not like my dads addiction is awesome but the 'cure' is worse than the ailment on that one

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s0nicfan posted...

That's nuts. As an adult, do you keep in touch with your dad? There's so many directions a relationship could take after a childhood like that. Are you understanding? Angry? Full of pity?

Anyways, hope sharing helped somehow. Letting things out can be really cathartic sometimes.

Thanks man. I actually still lived with and supported both of my parents until I was 24. I moved out because I realized I couldn't be responsible for them my whole life, but I did financially support them even after that. Tho my dads on SS now.

I guess yeah I feel bad for my parents. They had tragic lives too, though. So I try to be understanding because of that

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You're a good man TC, and a cool dude. You have been for many years.

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REMercsChamp posted...

How did you end up after all of this? Where are you in life now?

I'm doing pretty good. I make more now than my parents ever did even adjusting for inflation and I don't have a criminal record or anything

pls posted...

You're a good man TC, and a cool dude. You have been for many years.

Thanks man but youre just saying that because this topic isn't about carbon taxes lol

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Sounds like my childhood...are you me?

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i thought this would get me more attention, maybe I'll bump it again for morning ce, they like me

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Do you blame your non privilege?
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I mean I do think white privilege has greatly benefited me honestly

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Do you have an acute sense of finding addicts and users now, having grown up in that?
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Balrog0 posted...

I mean I do think white privilege has greatly benefited me honestly

Yeah I take back what I said earlier, fuck this white guilt bullshit

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pls posted...

Yeah I take back what I said earlier, fuck this white guilt bullshit

Lmao that's my guy <3

KILBOTz posted...

Do you have an acute sense of finding addicts and users now, having grown up in that?

Yeah I think so tbh, not like some spidey sense thing but I do seem to notice it more than my friends

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How about hustlers and scammers? Anyone ever able to pull shit over you now?
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Balrog0 posted...

My dad was arrested for possession when I was 4 and my mom and I became homeless shortly afterwards.

Shouldn't be a crime. This shows how fucked the War on Drugs is.

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What did he have?
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How did you become one of CE's most esteemed posters instead of a degenerate with an upbringing like that?

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That's interesting. So you joined the site in Dec 2001. How old were you then and how did you have access to a computer?

BignutzisBack posted...

How did you become one of CE's most esteemed posters instead of a degenerate with an upbringing like that?

Esteemed lolol

StoneDrie posted...

That's interesting. So you joined the site in Dec 2001. How old were you then and how did you have access to a computer?

I made this account in 7th grade, I guess that means 11. we were living in the living room of a friend at that time. They had a computer I could use sometimes. It was actually before my dad lost his job as far as I knew but if he lost his job because the bubble like I thought that timeline might not match up actually I'm not sure

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Medzzz posted...

What did he have?

Do you mean my dad when he got arrested? I'm pretty sure it was meth


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Balrog0 posted...

Medzzz posted...

What did he have?

Do you mean my dad when he got arrested? I'm pretty sure it was meth

Hard core drug
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oh he never really got clean except for long enough to pass whatever court mandated rehabilitation he went to

he's doin meth to this day

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Do you love your parents?
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shockthemonkey posted...

God damn, and your mom is happy (enough) with him again for them to live together and get by?

they're both addicts but Im not sure how happy she is with the situation tbh

_Matchabuu_ posted...

Do you love your parents?

of course I do

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Where and how are you living now?
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damn idk if you learned it from your parents, some role model, or straight up no one but u got a gift dude. capacity and desire to learn, you're articulate, empathetic

how'd that happen man
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Veggeta_MAX posted...

Where and how are you living now?

I still live in Arkansas. I have a house and a roommate but I spend most of my time at my gfs apartment

Pukelid posted...

damn idk if you learned it from your parents, some role model, or straight up no one but u got a gift dude. capacity and desire to learn, you're articulate, empathetic

how'd that happen man

i think my mom did a good job of raising me despite all of the challenges

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well if you mentioned your current standing with your mom itt i missed it, hope you guys are still close since she sounds like a good person
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eh I dunno I dont see my parents that often even though they don't live that far, like maybe half a dozen times a year (actually, maybe thats alot, I just see my gfs family a lot more)

I have very mixed feelings on our relationship

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I think Im gonna bump this one last time and then the topic die quietly when I leave work

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If you were to give tips to another young kid facing your past, what would it be
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I dunno man, I'm really bad at that kind of thing. My honest opinion is just that I got pretty lucky, there isn't a whole lot a kid can do in that kind of situation. That's probably not helpful to say to homeless kids though.

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Ok I lied one more bump as I'm leaving work so I can check this while I'm waiting for my gf to get off

I sometimes have a desire to volunteer at the local homeless shelter but idk what I'd do

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Balrog0 posted...

Ok I lied one more bump as I'm leaving work so I can check this while I'm waiting for my gf to get off

I sometimes have a desire to volunteer at the local homeless shelter but idk what I'd do

I don't know what programs exist near you specifically, but given your background I feel like you would be more effective as one of those adult mentors they assigned to kids who are right on the verge of becoming criminals because of broken households and things like that.
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What's with the nonstandard capitalization in casual conversation? Just a stylistic thing?
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Big brother Big Sister or whatever it's called
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Summarizer posted...

What's with the nonstandard capitalization in casual conversation? Just a stylistic thing?

Not sure who that is directed at, but I sometimes use voice to text on my phone to post if I'm walking my dog or something, and it seems to be really weird about capitalizing things that it thinks are titles or names. So it could be that.
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Balrog0 posted...

I dunno man, I'm really bad at that kind of thing. My honest opinion is just that I got pretty lucky, there isn't a whole lot a kid can do in that kind of situation. That's probably not helpful to say to homeless kids though.

Why do you say this? There is things they can do. You can encourage them to stay in school for example and work hard for their education/career rather than turn to drugs and dropout.

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Balrog0 posted...

That's when stuff got really bad. We got unexpectedly got locked out of our 'apartment' but it was an illegal living arrangement so no lease or recourse. Lost basically everything.

Did you ever find out what was up with that?
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REMercsChamp posted...

Why do you say this? There is things they can do. You can encourage them to stay in school for example and work hard for their education/career rather than turn to drugs and dropout.

Yeah I guess, only I'm not a very hard worker and I do drugs so it would feel kind of dishonest

Anteaterking posted...

Did you ever find out what was up with that?

We just owed them rent, but without a lease it's pretty easy to just kick people out without notice and stuff

And yeah a lot of the grammar is because I'm on my phone lol

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