Current Events > 5 most outrageous jokes from Bill Burr's Netflix comedy special (Spoilers)

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https://ew.com/tv/2019/09/10/bill-burr-most-outrageous-jokes-paper-tiger/

On Bryan Cranstons controversial role in The Upside

Burr kicks off Paper Tiger by defending his Breaking Bad costar Bryan Cranston, who was criticized by some for playing a paralyzed billionaire in the 2017 film The Upside. This is how screwed up my country is right now, Burr says. You know Bryan Cranston, right? That dude did a movie, he played a quadriplegic, and people gave him shit. Being like, Why is there an able-bodied person playing a quadriplegic? Its because its called acting, you dumb fuck. See, if he was a quadriplegic playing a quadriplegic, thats not acting. Theyre just fucking laying there saying shit that someone else wrote. Burr goes on to joke about remaking Top Gun with a transgender co-pilot: She wont die, her discarded dick will block her head from the canopy. Therell be a gender-neutral bathroom on the plane. How fucking dumb is that?

On why hes glad Stephen Hawking is dead

While discussing the possible dangers of artificial intelligence, Burr segues into a bit about the late theoretical physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking. Every smart person, every super-smart person in the world, is saying these fucking things [robots] are going to kill us. Even your boy here, the guy who recently died. What was his name? He was always sitting down Hawking, Stephen Hawking. Yeah, too good to fucking stand up and make his point, just sitting down all fucking smarmy. He adds, Im so glad that guys fucking dead though, you know? Look at you guys, youre heartless. How much longer do you want him to suffer? You dont believe in an afterlife? Maybe hes up there now and his fucking legs work, and hes getting an angelic blow job.

On male feminists

On the topic of male feminists, Burr makes it clear he does not consider himself one. Its fucking nuts! he says. People are so scared now, that you now have the male feminist. Like, where the fuck did that come from? Just out of nowhere, last couple of years. Im a male feminist. Ive always championed women. No you havent! Ya havent! Burr continues, This shit came out and youre fucking scared. You did something. You grabbed some fucking titties What the fuck did you do? That you have to overcorrect that fucking hard. What kind of a man, who still has his balls, is walking around saying hes a male feminist?

On Michelle Obamas book tour

At one point in the special, Burr takes aim at former First Lady Michelle Obamas high-profile book tour for her best-selling memoir, Becoming. Michelle Obama is doing an arena tour, he says. Shes not playing comedy clubs, shes doing arenas. When did First Ladies start acting like they got elected? To be the first lady, thats not a fucking job just standing there smiling and waving. He adds, If you really think thats a job, just look at her. Look at Obama. When that guy got elected, he looked like he was about 41 years old. When he left office, that guy looked like he was about 73. Look at Michelle, she looks younger now than she did when that dude got elected. What has she done for the last eight years? Other than lay in a giant vat of illuminati-level lotion, just sitting there floating?

On what itll be like to have a female president

Speaking of the POTUS and FLOTUS, Burr imagines what the First Family will be like when the gender roles are reversed. Someday, theres going to be the first female president, which means theres going to be the first male First Lady, he says. And you wait, you fucking wait The first time that dude opens his mouth about some political shit, you watch all these feminists: You shut the fuck up! It is her time now. She was elected, not you. Go pick out some plates, bitch. Hes going to get treated like Tom Arnold when he was with Roseanne.


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Alt right hero Bill Burr gonna make the woke left upset.
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I dont know this dude or his comedy, but this sounds funny af
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I gotta say these jokes weren't that funny. His timing was good on the Hawking bit, though.

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