Poll of the Day > Why is it so hard to be passionate about something?

(+) Yeah! (+)

In every Discord server that I am a part of, everyone is always just raving and going on and on about the newest video game releases, and the upcoming video game releases; meanwhile, I'm just sitting at my computer wishing I cared about what they talked about as much as they did. For a while, the people on here and on the servers that I have joined were talking about E3, and I just didn't fucking care. That night, I just wrote in my folder, because I could not stand being online any longer.

It's just that lately, everything seems to look like dung, see. There's nothing exciting happening, and it's so very hard to give a damn about anything. I have thought about becoming a graduate student, but I'm not sure that I even want to return in the first place. I do sometimes day dream about studying math for fun as a graduate student, but every time I do so, I start to remember why I got sick of school to begin with. One of the reasons was that I have a massive inferiority complex that is only exacerbated by people being better at a subject than I am. The other reason was that sometimes, when I come across a math problem I really want to solve, but have extreme difficulty solving, I feel the inexplicable need to choke myself because I feel so worthless and inferior. It just made studying a bad experience for me at home. The former reason made being in class an even worse experience for me in class. I just could not handle it.

That's why I was so miserable in school, and even though I was miserable, I cannot help but miss it even still, because of the feeling of being in class with other people and hanging out in the undergraduate lounge studying. But the main reason why I absolutely cannot go to graduate school--at least, not straightaway--is my lack of professor recommendation. It is needless to say, that with my inherent lack of social skills, why this is the case.

I had been studying linear algebra in my free time since I graduated, but I seem to come across the same problem when I get frustrated trying to understand a math problem as I had when I was still in school. In any case, I find myself these days not really writing or doing many math problems in my free time. These days, I find myself constantly glued to my personal computer, yearning for social interaction because of the ever-present loneliness I feel whenever I am at home. It's unbearable, and it's enough to drive me mad. Anyway, is it normal for someone to not just give a shit about just about anything in his life?

I must have these answers.
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No its not that normal, but I think youre probably not alone. I think maybe you would do well to get diagnosed for some mental illness.
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Well, didn't expect to see *that* long of a rant when I opened the topic >_>

EclairReturns posted...

In every Discord server that I am a part of, everyone is always just raving and going on and on about the newest video game releases, and the upcoming video game releases; meanwhile, I'm just sitting at my computer wishing I cared about what they talked about as much as they did. For a while, the people on here and on the servers that I have joined were talking about E3, and I just didn't fucking care. That night, I just wrote in my folder, because I could not stand being online any longer.

Find new Discords. Honestly, if I was stuck in Discords where I heard everybody rant about sports, it would be very difficult to stay awake. Games I can muster at least a tiny modicom of excitement over, although that doesn't mean I've ever really devoted much attention to something like E3 even when I was bigger into games.

EclairReturns posted...

It's just that lately, everything seems to look like dung, see.

So you, too, are adrift in a sea of ennui.

EclairReturns posted...

One of the reasons was that I have a massive inferiority complex that is only exacerbated by people being better at a subject than I am. The other reason was that sometimes, when I come across a math problem I really want to solve, but have extreme difficulty solving, I feel the inexplicable need to choke myself because I feel so worthless and inferior. It just made studying a bad experience for me at home. The former reason made being in class an even worse experience for me in class. I just could not handle it.

You *really* need to get some psychological/psychiatric help at some point. Thoughts of self-harm are a massive red flag, and everything else is already something worth considering professional help over.

EclairReturns posted...

That's why I was so miserable in school, and even though I was miserable, I cannot help but miss it even still, because of the feeling of being in class with other people and hanging out in the undergraduate lounge studying

So basically you're an introverted extrovert?
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Zeus posted...

So basically you're an introverted extrovert?

He's an anxious extrovert. He presents introverted because he restricted by his condition.
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You're depressed.
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You should probably join a multi level marketing company
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You just haven't found the right bong yet. I say keep looking.
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Were you also a math major Eclair?

I got over being upset by not being the best in class by realizing its all about time allocation. Those people care about math in such a way, thats great. I cared about my personal life and career, and developed skills hat would be beneficial over adding an extra 0.5 to my GPA.

Side note, dont go to grad school with depression. Just dont.

Lack of professor recommendation is kind of a red flag. While I learned about textbook material in the classroom, I really learn the subject by talking to professors and classmates while doing projects.

I wonder if it has something to do with how American culture punishes people for enjoying things?
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I_Abibde posted...

I wonder if it has something to do with how American culture punishes people for enjoying things?

What do you mean? American culture is all about spending money on things to make yourself happy. I think it's a pipe dream, but nonetheless America culture is all about fulfillment through consumerism.
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jramirez23 posted...

diagnosed for some mental illness

Oh, my psychologist diagnosed me for Severe Major Depressive Disorder.

Zeus posted...

didn't expect to see *that* long of a rant

And I didn't expect you to read it; I thought you had given up after I had made so many of these topics, the bulk of which, incidentally, were much longer than this one.

Zeus posted...

sea of ennui

Aye.

Zeus posted...

psychological/psychiatric help

It hasn't been helping, but that's mostly my fault, anyway.

I have not been proactive enough, being so crippled by social anxiety and the thought of returning to my mother's home every time I try to be proactive.

Kyuubi4269 posted...

anxious extrovert

Huh, I never would have thought I could be extroverted.

blu posted...

math major

Yes.
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Sounds like you're looking in the wrong places.

I_Abibde posted...

I wonder if it has something to do with how American culture punishes people for enjoying things?

I'll have what he's smoking!

EclairReturns posted...

And I didn't expect you to read it; I thought you had given up after I had made so many of these topics, the bulk of which, incidentally, were much longer than this one.

I keep forgetting that you're that guy who posts really, really long rants =p At least you're breaking up the walls of text.
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UltraIchi posted...

What do you mean? American culture is all about spending money on things to make yourself happy.

... but if you express that enjoyment, you end up on the Cringetopia sub-Reddit.
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I_Abibde posted...

UltraIchi posted...

What do you mean? American culture is all about spending money on things to make yourself happy.

... but if you express that enjoyment, you end up on the Cringetopia sub-Reddit.

I_Abibde posted...

Laughing at Game FAQs since 2002.

well no wonder you think that way. anyone who has been here regularly since 2002 is bound to have some ridiculous views of the real world.