Current Events > The bodily function you'd most like to get over and done with for life

(+) Yeah! (+)

Sick and tired of sleep? Gas get you in a stink? Have a sweating issue that's a stain you can't wash away? Does that staring contest trophy elude you because of that pesky urge to blink?

Well, ladies, gents and miscellaneous, today your answers are prayered! Choose ONE (1) simple bodily function that you'd like to be rid of. For the rest of your life, you will NEVER have to do that one (1) thing... AGAIN!

The cost? You must do that one (1) thing CONTINUOUSLY (but without further physiological cost) until you have gotten your future lifetime's worth out of your system. You will them continue to live as if nothing had changed. You may take time to prepare before you start your 'payment', but once started, you're in it to the bitter end!

You could spend the next 17 days on the toilet, but from then on, no more pooping! (emergency plumber not included)
Bawl like a baby for three months, but never need to shy away from cutting an onion ever again!
Hyperventilate for a year, and then AMAZE your friends with the ability to not need to breathe!

As an added bonus, for those lucky enough, your payment may potentially be used to determine your life expectancy. If you go to pee yourself dry and only a few minutes pass by, it MAY be a good time to buy life insurance!

So, trendsetters. What one (1) bodily function do you choose to future-purge, and WHY?
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I'd like to use this function to disrupt your little shit show you got goin on here!

*swings a crowbar at your tv cameras*
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Is eating & pooping one choice, or are they separate? If I can eat with out pooping, that'd be awesome. Pooping for 17 days straight sounds like an ordeal.
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Call me Rip Van Winkle cuz im about to take one hell of a power nap
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Sleep or aging would win. Assuming I live 50 more years I'd have to sleep for over 6,000 days. Though staying my current age for as long as I wish (or am killed) would be great. I'll go with aging.
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Sleep
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sleep because i could be very efficient

but then again, i like sleeping

Sleep.
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Guys... choosing sleep would mean spending 1/turd of your life sleeping in 1 shot

Cartwheel_Kick posted...

Guys... choosing sleep would mean spending 1/turd of your life sleeping in 1 shot

That's fine.
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sleeping

can I still sleep if I want to?
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Vomiting.
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C'mon, CE. You can be more inventive than this.
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sleep
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Sphyx posted...

C'mon, CE. You can be more inventive than this.

What would you choose? (I read your whole post, don't remember if you said that in there)
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Egh. If it weren't for the fact that I'd instantly waste a third of my life, I'd pick sleep.

I guess pooping. 17 days on the toilet would suck, but hey, once it's over I never gotta do it again for as long as I live.

What would happen to food I eat tho? Would it get changed into pee somehow?
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fart

as a chronic insomniac

sleep
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Having sex. (Assuming I can still fap afterwards.)

That basically means I get 10 whole minutes of sex in one go.
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industrializeit posted...

What would you choose?

I actually didn't think of what i'd choose when i thought of this topic. Was more interested in the crazy shit i thought CE would come up with.

Eating might save me a lot of lifetime focused more on how hungry i am than on what i'm supposed to be doing, but there's a simple pleasure in satisfying hunger and cravings. I'd hate to give those moments up.

Sleep, i would never give up. Not just because i look forward to sleeping, but also because one big long sleep sounds like a fucking nightmare.

I thought of purging earwax production to put an end to my recurring ear infections, but definitely no. Blocked ears for a few weeks and all the shit that accompanies it is bad enough. Having it for as much as a few years? NOPE.

For lack of a better answer, i might go with sweating. I can't think of a time i have been happy to be sweaty, and i cope far better with the cold than the heat. I think i could stand to get it over and done with.
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WindMouseHanpan posted...

What would happen to food I eat tho? Would it get changed into pee somehow?

Your physiology doesn't have to compensate or suffer any side effects. It acts as normal, but you just don't need to do that one thing anymore as you've already done your lifetime's allotment of it.
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Sphyx posted...

For lack of a better answer, i might go with sweating. I can't think of a time i have been happy to be sweaty, and i cope far better with the cold than the heat. I think i could stand to get it over and done with.

Oh fuck, I didn't think of this one. Yeah, definitely that. I'll gladly sacrifice (well, just delay, really) the 10 minutes of sex for that.
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Sleeping is the worst option

Assuming you sleep for 8 hours and you are 24 years old now and live to be 90 years old, you wont wake up until you're 46.

Ignoring the effects of not moving your body for 22 years, you'll be old. All of your friends will forget about you and be in completely different parts of their life, or dead. You will give up the prime years of your life to become a nocturnal middle aged man.

How the hell would you get a job? Everything will run on something completely different. Can you imagine someone from 1996 trying to get any job thats worth a damn today?
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Skywalker82 posted...

How the hell would you get a job? Everything will run on something completely different. Can you imagine someone from 1996 trying to get any job thats worth a damn today?

Alternative way of looking at it, though: You essentially travel through time 22 years into the future.
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NotWhiteNinja posted...

Skywalker82 posted...

How the hell would you get a job? Everything will run on something completely different. Can you imagine someone from 1996 trying to get any job thats worth a damn today?

Alternative way of looking at it, though: You essentially travel through time 22 years into the future.

Yea, as an old man. What kind of time travel is it when you get out of it and your knees hurt when it rains outside?
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