Current Events > The way love is described in media makes me doubt my feelings

(+) Yeah! (+)

When love and romantic relationships are shown and described in movies, TV, music, books, etc. I find that how they describe it is not how I feel in my relationship (been dating for about 14 months).
And I don't know if that should worry me.

Edit: I mean the description of love as being some almost magical type thing. I know I have feelings for my girlfriend, but the way it's described...

*Blogfaqs*
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Bump
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Unrealistic portrayals of love and relationships causing people to hold real ones to an unreasonable standard is a well-known, well-documented problem in modern culture.
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Well, yeah. Media plays to our desires, not reality. It's why everything works out the way it does - people have complete control over how characters feel.
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The way she sees and describes me is more similar to how it's described in media. So maybe some people do feel that way?
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Argue this premise:

Romantic comedies have done more harm to modern relationships than porn ever will.
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I feel that maybe your first love is the strongest. You probably do all the grand gestures, there's tons of passion and romance, etc.

After you've been in the game for a while and you've been through a few relationships it seems like everything becomes much more casual, almost "going through the motions."

Props to people who can keep each relationship feeling fresh and still call back to those first love experiences for inspiration.
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It's not some magical thing that just works. It's something that takes a lot of work and compromise that can be incredibly rewarding when it works out.

So it depends what you mean.
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50% of all marriages etc.

which makes for a fun thing to keep in mind when you see a happy couple at the end of a movie and know there's a 50/50 chance of them splitting up down the line.
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emblem boy posted...

The way she sees and describes me is more similar to how it's described in media. So maybe some people do feel that way?

Some people must. Everyone has a unique mind, though - a different intensity or quality of feeling isn't necessarily better or worse than another.
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Ultima Dragon posted...

I feel that maybe your first love is the strongest. You probably do all the grand gestures, there's tons of passion and romance, etc.

After you've been in the game for a while and you've been through a few relationships it seems like everything becomes much more casual, almost "going through the motions."

Props to people who can keep each relationship feeling fresh and still call back to those first love experiences for inspiration.

I'm 28. She's my first long term relationship, lost virginity to her, etc.

Darmik posted...

It's not some magical thing that just works. It's something that takes a lot of work and compromise that can be incredibly rewarding when it works out.

So it depends what you mean.

I've always had the notion that Hollywood is just fake and I shouldn't pay mind to it. That love is a choice. I'm starting to doubt myself though.

Megaman50100 posted...

Argue this premise:

Romantic comedies have done more harm to modern relationships than porn ever will.

I would probably agree.
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Do you also wonder why your girlfriend doesn't look like Kim Kardashian?

But seriously

CircleOfManias posted...

Unrealistic portrayals of love and relationships causing people to hold real ones to an unreasonable standard is a well-known, well-documented problem in modern culture.

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Darmik posted...

It's not some magical thing that just works. It's something that takes a lot of work and compromise that can be incredibly rewarding when it works out.

I agree, over the long term those are necessary parts of a relationship, but at the same time with the right person there's a foundational chemistry that should add to the "magical" element

I feel like being in love should make the art surrounding it understandable, one should just keep in mind that a lot of it tends to portray it at its highest points.

But yeah it's also possible different people are going to feel these things to varying degrees.
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AsucaHayashi posted...

50% of all marriages etc.

which makes for a fun thing to keep in mind when you see a happy couple at the end of a movie and know there's a 50/50 chance of them splitting up down the line.

Divorce rates have dropped significantly for Millennials.

That statistic never really paints the full story anyway considering it also includes people who marry several times.
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Bump
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think of it like how porn depicts sex

sometimes you have sex which is incredible, but 80% of the time it's not as glamorous or amazing as it looks on porn

apply the same logic to how the media represents love

don't put pressure on yourself that it's not turning out as you thought it would
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I agree TC.

I know I felt the rush of young love, but after like three months I genuinely get bored. I know it sounds horrible.

Makes me wonder if I have just never been with a woman I truly, deeply love, that would unlock those magic movie feelings, or if they just don't exist and this is me.

Which also makes me ask if I'm just broken. Like misfiring joy neurons or hormone imbalance or some shit.

Parappa09 posted...

think of it like how porn depicts sex

sometimes you have sex which is incredible, but 80% of the time it's not as glamorous or amazing as it looks on porn

apply the same logic to how the media represents love

don't put pressure on yourself that it's not turning out as you thought it would

Ya, I understand that, it's just hard. Especially since I know I'm so inexperienced to start with.

clearaflagrantj posted...

I agree TC.

I know I felt the rush of young love, but after like three months I genuinely get bored. I know it sounds horrible.

Makes me wonder if I have just never been with a woman I truly, deeply love, that would unlock those magic movie feelings, or if they just don't exist and this is me.

Which also makes me ask if I'm just broken. Like misfiring joy neurons or hormone imbalance or some shit.

Yep. And I keep reminding myself that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, so I shouldn't be thinking about if I'm missing out. But maybe I'm being too conservative about that view and I am missing out.

I can't even say I ever felt young love since I never had anything more than crushes when I was younger.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIdLlERQWsE" data-time="

Describing when he first met her: "there was an aura around you, like an angel"

Fuck outa here with that
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Friday night bump
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emblem boy posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIdLlERQWsE" data-time="

Describing when he first met her: "there was an aura around you, like an angel"

Fuck outa here with that

I just watched this (or more rather skipped around sporadically), I can relate to about 0.0% of it

Darmik posted...

Divorce rates have dropped significantly for Millennials.

Marriage rates in general have dropped for millennials. Which suggests that more people are actually putting thought into it instead of being idiots and impulsively tying the knot just because someone got knocked up or someone didnt believe in premarital sex and the other one was that desperate to get laid.
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clearaflagrantj posted...

emblem boy posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIdLlERQWsE" data-time="

Describing when he first met her: "there was an aura around you, like an angel"

Fuck outa here with that

I just watched this (or more rather skipped around sporadically), I can relate to about 0.0% of it

It'd be nice to relate though
*Sigh*
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Girlfriend just told me that she started knowing it was special due to how nervous she felt before the first date, and she usually doesn't feel nervous before dates... *Sigh*
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Date another and compare
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ssj3vegeta posted...

Date another and compare

The grass isn't always greener
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