Current Events > Scenario: Aliens abduct you and demand 1 reason why they should spare Earth.

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UnfairRepresent
09/14/18 4:50:11 PM
#1:


You're on your way home one day when suddenly you are roughly engulfed in light and adbucted by aliens into a cold steel spaceship.

A large powerful alien smacks you across the chops, throws you onto the ground hard and stomps on your face, pressing its foot down against your skull that feels like being trapped underneath a bookcase. Then it says in a deep booming voice:

"Absolutely pathetic. A planet of foolishness, debauchery, crude violent nonsense and a species who do nothing but wage war, shout pedantry and watch as each other starve. You're children all! A complete wasteland of nothing but a cavalcade of pointlessness, failure and suffering. Unworthy of existing"

It then moves it foot, lifts you up and presses you against a wall.

"I am patient so I grant you one vestige to prove your worth. You have one chance human, one last oppotunity to save your world. Give me one reason. One single reason why I shouldn't destroy this wretched planet where I stand. One reason why humanity deserves to go on living. What is it?"

9uZ8zLq

The ship has its Star Destroyer weapons aimed at Earth that would destroy all biological life inside of 37 minutes.

What do you do?
---
^ Hey now that's completely unfair.
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thronedfire2
09/14/18 4:50:51 PM
#2:


I ask if I can press the button
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Brig_Jackson
09/14/18 4:51:05 PM
#3:


I would spunk all over the aliens face. Show them what a facial really is.

Welcome to humanity
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The one and only
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SageHarpuia
09/14/18 4:51:27 PM
#4:


"Can I give the order?"
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"You will pay dearly for your futile resistance!"
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Lordgold666
09/14/18 4:52:17 PM
#5:


Id ask them if i could press the button to do it
---
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Zikten
09/14/18 4:53:23 PM
#6:


I say "this is my normal form. And this.....is a super human. This is to go even further beyond. Or you could call it a super human 2. And THIS......is to go....even..... FURTHER! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"
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Darkrobotisback
09/14/18 4:53:37 PM
#7:


I'll just tell em...
"Fuck earth, you can blow it up for all I care"
And then when it's distracted, I'll ambush the alien from the back, hijack it's ship and blow up its home planet before it has the chance to send in reinforcements
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UnfairRepresent
09/14/18 4:54:04 PM
#8:


Lordgold666 posted...
Id ask them if i could press the button to do it

SageHarpuia posted...
"Can I give the order?"

thronedfire2 posted...
I ask if I can press the button

WTF CE?
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^ Hey now that's completely unfair.
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#9
Post #9 was unavailable or deleted.
EbonTitanium
09/14/18 4:58:47 PM
#10:


If I was to check your internet history would I find something worse?
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synth_real
09/14/18 6:54:23 PM
#11:


Our planet is the only one with beer.
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Paragon21XX
09/14/18 7:00:11 PM
#12:


The same way the Z-Fighters were able convince Beerus to spare Earth in Dragon Ball Super: we have the best food in the universe.
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Hmm...
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ThanksUglyGod
09/14/18 7:02:16 PM
#13:


I'd show them a pic of my best friend Wesley
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nativengine
09/14/18 7:05:27 PM
#14:


Brah, have you tried Taco Bell?
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Jive
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monkmith
09/14/18 7:08:24 PM
#15:


helicopter dance, that doesn't work i dont know what would.
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Turbam
09/14/18 7:10:44 PM
#16:


"heh...is that all you got?"
*teleports behind him*
*impales him with my katana*
"this is too easy"
---
~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~
I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs
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UnfairRepresent
09/14/18 8:46:35 PM
#17:


Turbam posted...
"heh...is that all you got?"
*teleports behind him*
*impales him with my katana*
"this is too easy"

1. That's stupid

2. They will now kill everyone
---
^ Hey now that's completely unfair.
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Touch
09/14/18 8:53:15 PM
#18:


Goats posted...
"If you have the resources to go blowing up planets willy nilly, it's probably not going to be a big deal to let a single planet live. We're a shrewd, calculating people and in 100 years when we take our place among the stars, we'll remember the mercy you show today and be your most stalwart ally deoxys"

Deoxys is actually their archenemy and they proceed to destroy earth
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Turbam
09/14/18 8:54:11 PM
#19:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Turbam posted...
"heh...is that all you got?"
*teleports behind him*
*impales him with my katana*
"this is too easy"

1. That's stupid

2. They will now kill everyone

No, I already killed all of them with my blade
---
~snip (V)_(;,;)_(V) snip~
I'm just one man! Whoa! Well, I'm a one man band! https://imgur.com/p9Xvjvs
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Shotgunnova
09/14/18 8:55:01 PM
#20:


Shenmue 3
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Take me down from the ridge where the summer ends
And watch the city spread out just like a jet's flame
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MabusIncarnate
09/14/18 8:55:23 PM
#21:


Show them some really fucked up porn just because.
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Ten million dollars on a losing campaign
Twenty million starving and writhing in pain
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WilliamPorygon
09/14/18 8:59:16 PM
#22:


It's not worth destroying all the other wonderful creatures on Earth just to get rid of humans
---
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Irregardless
09/14/18 9:02:32 PM
#23:


UnfairRepresent posted...
crude violent nonsense

Says the creature threatening to murder billions.
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Doe
09/14/18 9:15:51 PM
#24:


"You kill your child for the sin of immaturity?"
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UnfairRepresent
09/14/18 9:18:30 PM
#25:


MabusIncarnate posted...
Show them some really fucked up porn just because.

lol
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MoistenedYouth
09/14/18 9:56:04 PM
#26:


boobs
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a fan of scotty fan who fancy scotty fanfic
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tremain07
09/14/18 9:57:18 PM
#27:


Go for it, the world is shit anyway.
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FC: 0061-0132-7564
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Sphyx
09/14/18 10:15:39 PM
#28:


"Do what you want.
Now, take me to your leader"
---
You're so vain,
You probably think this sig is about you.
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jumi
09/14/18 10:24:36 PM
#29:


"Because this is the planet where a large, black, British man named Wesley lives."
---
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UnfairRepresent
09/15/18 4:11:13 AM
#30:


Sphyx posted...
"Do what you want.
Now, take me to your leader"

what they want is to kill everyone
---
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St0rmFury
09/15/18 4:13:29 AM
#31:


"We can create porn of anything."
---
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Skyrim_Guard
09/15/18 4:22:34 AM
#32:


Arrest them disturbing the peace
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Panthera
09/15/18 4:34:47 AM
#33:


I tell them I won't cooperate with their stupid games. Anyone who plots mass genocide isn't going to be dissuaded because a random person said not to do it, they either aren't going to do it regardless of what I say or they're evil bastards who will do it no matter what.
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Meow!
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Big_Nabendu
09/15/18 4:37:38 AM
#34:


We have master chief
I ain't worried
---
The embrace of the Dark is gentle. Let it absorb your sorrows, forever.
\[T]/ Owner of the 500 board and Leader of sunbro board GT Nabendu
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Ryven
09/15/18 4:42:33 AM
#35:


'The next Avengers movie hasnt come out yet, CMON BRO'

*saves all life on earth until at least then'
---
'We're not gonna make it, are we? People i mean.'
'It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.'
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UnfairRepresent
09/15/18 4:47:09 AM
#36:


Big_Nabendu posted...
We have master chief
I ain't worried

that's a fictional character
---
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Panthera
09/15/18 4:48:25 AM
#37:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Big_Nabendu posted...
We have master chief
I ain't worried

that's a fictional character


These aliens are also fictional

Checkmate Buddhists
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Meow!
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Rika_Furude
09/15/18 4:51:21 AM
#38:


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UnfairRepresent
09/15/18 5:16:42 AM
#39:


Rika_Furude posted...
we may not be able to save earth

but we can avenge it

No you can't.

they are going to kill everyone
---
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gunplagirl
09/15/18 5:46:49 AM
#40:


thronedfire2 posted...
I ask if I can press the button

This
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Pew pew!
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The_Doge
09/15/18 5:52:07 AM
#41:


I distract with my very wow Doge memes while Doge lunar forces flank them from behind boarding their ship and disabling or taking control of major systems saveing the Earth
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Wow such signature join Dogefaqs today http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/1341-dogefaqs
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Distant_Rainbow
09/15/18 5:52:24 AM
#42:


"Go ahead. But I bet you can't destroy all life within 30 minutes. Arrogant ****."

Then shoot the alien for good measure.
---
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E32005
09/15/18 10:39:56 AM
#43:


Id say Trump is president so let me press the button
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UnfairRepresent
09/15/18 10:55:41 AM
#44:


E32005 posted...
Id say Trump is president so let me press the button

You'd wipe out all life on Earth just to spite Donald Trump?
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silentwing26x
09/15/18 10:58:11 AM
#45:


didnt realize CE has so many psycopaths
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UnfairRepresent
09/16/18 6:05:16 AM
#46:


silentwing26x posted...
didnt realize CE has so many psycopaths

silentwing26x posted...
didnt realize CE has so many psycopaths

For real
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Dash_Harber
09/16/18 6:06:44 AM
#47:


"We may be incredibly failures currently, but we have the potential to change the entire universe if we can just find some reason to unify ourselves"
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PiOverlord
09/16/18 7:40:05 AM
#48:


I assume the reason they are even asking is because they have a set of morals.

I tell them that we are like them, intelligent beings, not quite as far along, but we deserve the same chance they got. To kill us is to kill a potential great deal of achievements, and perhaps one day, we will have something to give back to the universe for the benefit of all.

I let them know of our culture, our emotions, our dreams, I give us a name and a face, not just a group of slobby humans. It's really disgusting people are saying "push it" because of a handful of people when most of humanity are good people. Perhaps we are misguided at times, and we can fall pray to the current rousing speeches of tyrants, but in the end, we care about our neighbor, and I can only hope that an alien race that must have seen its fair share of struggles would appreciate the similarities.
---
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PrettyBoyFloyd
09/16/18 8:35:16 AM
#49:


Wouldn't the invaders be just as corrupt if they wanted to kill everyone for the same reasons ?
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[Government Destabilizing Branch]
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PrettyBoyFloyd
09/16/18 8:54:13 AM
#50:


Also what if the invaders lean Conservative or are like the Galactic Empire ?
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