Poll of the Day > My bf is moving about 2 and a half hours away...

(+) Yeah! (+)

Which kind of sucks. But he's not sure if he's moving back, either. I mean, we'll still see each other because I can go there(and bring my dogs). And on certain weekends, he can come back and get a hotel for us. But still, it kinda sucks. I don't really like long drives. And while my little dog doesn't mind as much, my bigger dog hates being in the car. Even for like 15 minutes. I'll definitely have to stop to help him feel better. It just kind sucks. I like him being like 10 minutes away instead of 2 and a half hours...
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Good luck, this will strain your relationship.
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Good luck. It already sounds like the onus is strictly on you to keep the relationship together.
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shadowsword87 posted...

Good luck, this will strain your relationship.

Yeah. Thanks. And it might. I mean, we have gone a week or two(or longer, in some cases) without seeing each other. Last night was like the first time in three weeks. And it has been longer when he's gone out of town, right before I visit home. And then I get back right after he goes out of town again... Like is hard sometimes... And sucks sometimes...
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HelIWithoutSin posted...

Good luck. It already sounds like the onus is strictly on you to keep the relationship together.

Maybe. I mean, I sure he'll try, too. I can understand why he doesn't like the town. I don't, either. Most people don't. And he was born here and moved away as soon as he could. And only moved back some years ago. And the reason he's moving in because the house he was renting is sinking into the ground. So, they had to fix it. But it didn't work. So, they had to get all his stuff out. So, he was moving to his brother's like guest house thing. That's the actual reason. But he said that he was thinking he'd stay there... And I think he thinks it'll work out. Though, I have my doubts...
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LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

Good luck. It already sounds like the onus is strictly on you to keep the relationship together.

Maybe. I mean, I sure he'll try, too. I can understand why he doesn't like the town. I don't, either. Most people don't. And he was born here and moved away as soon as he could. And only moved back some years ago. And the reason he's moving in because the house he was renting is sinking into the ground. So, they had to fix it. But it didn't work. So, they had to get all his stuff out. So, he was moving to his brother's like guest house thing. That's the actual reason. But he said that he was thinking he'd stay there... And I think he thinks it'll work out. Though, I have my doubts...

Wait, he needed a new place to live and moved 2 1/2 hours away because he doesn't like that town? Yeesh.
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HelIWithoutSin posted...

LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

Good luck. It already sounds like the onus is strictly on you to keep the relationship together.

Maybe. I mean, I sure he'll try, too. I can understand why he doesn't like the town. I don't, either. Most people don't. And he was born here and moved away as soon as he could. And only moved back some years ago. And the reason he's moving in because the house he was renting is sinking into the ground. So, they had to fix it. But it didn't work. So, they had to get all his stuff out. So, he was moving to his brother's like guest house thing. That's the actual reason. But he said that he was thinking he'd stay there... And I think he thinks it'll work out. Though, I have my doubts...

Wait, he needed a new place to live and moved 2 1/2 hours away because he doesn't like that town? Yeesh.

Well, it's also cheap(or maybe free). Because it's his brother's place. I think getting away from the town was bonus...
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LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

Good luck. It already sounds like the onus is strictly on you to keep the relationship together.

Maybe. I mean, I sure he'll try, too. I can understand why he doesn't like the town. I don't, either. Most people don't. And he was born here and moved away as soon as he could. And only moved back some years ago. And the reason he's moving in because the house he was renting is sinking into the ground. So, they had to fix it. But it didn't work. So, they had to get all his stuff out. So, he was moving to his brother's like guest house thing. That's the actual reason. But he said that he was thinking he'd stay there... And I think he thinks it'll work out. Though, I have my doubts...

Wait, he needed a new place to live and moved 2 1/2 hours away because he doesn't like that town? Yeesh.

Well, it's also cheap(or maybe free). Because it's his brother's place. I think getting away from the town was bonus...

I suppose. But I'd think if your relationship was a priority to him, he surely could have found somewhere closer to live, unless he's unemployed and had no choice but to move there, or he's going to school or working there.
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HelIWithoutSin posted...

LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

Good luck. It already sounds like the onus is strictly on you to keep the relationship together.

Maybe. I mean, I sure he'll try, too. I can understand why he doesn't like the town. I don't, either. Most people don't. And he was born here and moved away as soon as he could. And only moved back some years ago. And the reason he's moving in because the house he was renting is sinking into the ground. So, they had to fix it. But it didn't work. So, they had to get all his stuff out. So, he was moving to his brother's like guest house thing. That's the actual reason. But he said that he was thinking he'd stay there... And I think he thinks it'll work out. Though, I have my doubts...

Wait, he needed a new place to live and moved 2 1/2 hours away because he doesn't like that town? Yeesh.

Well, it's also cheap(or maybe free). Because it's his brother's place. I think getting away from the town was bonus...

I suppose. But I'd think if your relationship was a priority to him, he surely could have found somewhere closer to live, unless he's unemployed and had no choice but to move there, or he's going to school or working there.

Actually, his work does take him out of town a lot. So depending on where it is, it could actually help. And he'd be close to family.
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LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

LinkPizza posted...

HelIWithoutSin posted...

Good luck. It already sounds like the onus is strictly on you to keep the relationship together.

Maybe. I mean, I sure he'll try, too. I can understand why he doesn't like the town. I don't, either. Most people don't. And he was born here and moved away as soon as he could. And only moved back some years ago. And the reason he's moving in because the house he was renting is sinking into the ground. So, they had to fix it. But it didn't work. So, they had to get all his stuff out. So, he was moving to his brother's like guest house thing. That's the actual reason. But he said that he was thinking he'd stay there... And I think he thinks it'll work out. Though, I have my doubts...

Wait, he needed a new place to live and moved 2 1/2 hours away because he doesn't like that town? Yeesh.

Well, it's also cheap(or maybe free). Because it's his brother's place. I think getting away from the town was bonus...

I suppose. But I'd think if your relationship was a priority to him, he surely could have found somewhere closer to live, unless he's unemployed and had no choice but to move there, or he's going to school or working there.

Actually, his work does take him out of town a lot. So depending on where it is, it could actually help. And he'd be close to family.

Well, hopefully it'll work out for you two and you don't have to bear all burden.
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Most of mine have ended up LD. It'll work if you want it to.
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There's ways to keep things good at a distance. That's not too far for regular visits, but you will need to figure out which of you is going to relocate and when. Cause that drive will get a bit old after a while
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HelIWithoutSin posted...

Well, hopefully it'll work out for you two and you don't have to bear all burden.

Thanks. I hope so, too...

zebatov posted...

Most of mine have ended up LD. It'll work if you want it to.

Yeah. We're gonna try...

Doctor Foxx posted...

There's ways to keep things good at a distance. That's not too far for regular visits, but you will need to figure out which of you is going to relocate and when. Cause that drive will get a bit old after a while

It will get old fast. Maybe after it goes on for a little, he'll move back. I wouldn't mind moving up there with him. But I've have to get a new job. Plus, I was staying here mostly because or my roommate. And some other stuff. It would be easier for him to move back. But I guess we'll see how it goes.
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Maybe everything will be fine. I mean, he did say that moving back is not off the table, so...
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Well as much as "long distance" probably sucks it's probably better to have someone to fuck then not in most cases.
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wwinterj25 posted...

Well as much as "long distance" probably sucks it's probably better to have someone to fuck then not in most cases.

For somebody who actively avoids people, you sure are a callous horndog.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

For somebody who actively avoids people, you sure are a callous horndog.

Why is every comment you make at me always wrong? It's like you're not even trying.
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best to just cut ties now homie
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Have you not considered moving somewhere together? Is it serious enough between you to consider that, since you both dislike the town?
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Did the long distance thing for a decade or so (cross country too). Been happily married for almost as long after that. This is nothing. Like some said, it can work if you want it to, it's just that few people do.

The trick is to make expectations clear, and as someone already mention, start thinking about plans for the future. Give it a little bit to settle, but after that, it should quickly get to: "The plan is for X to move in with Y after Z condition happen, with a time limit of <amount> days/weeks/months/years". In our case, we were waiting on her finishing college and seeing the job market, as well as both of us having the financial stability required to make an educated decision, and once we did, to meet the condition for one of us to get a visa for the other's country, which took a while. Since the conditions were clear though, we knew exactly where we stood at any given point in time. And everything eventually worked out. Obviously, the time limit most people can tolerate is way lower than a decade :) But the strategy is the same.

Obviously

The tie limit thing reminds me of a friend who was married. And both him and his wife were Air Force, but at 2 separate bases. It took years for them to be back together, but it still worked...

As for us, we have thought about moving in together. Once at the sinking house, which I guess it was good that I didn't... But it was also a house that didn't allow pets. And I have 2 dogs. And I have thought about possibly moving there with him. But it would depend on if I could get a job. But I also didn't want to leave my roommate high and dry. When I got out of the Air Force, I had originally planned to move back to my home state. But I stayed for mainly 2 reasons. My BF and my roommate...

But, as I said, him moving back is not completely off the table. We had talked about it a little. He had been worrying about it, too. Neither of us wanted to bring it up, but I did... Because we had to talk about it.

I think what I'm going to do is wait till after the move and he settles down. We do our go back and forth to visit each other thing. And we'll see if he is still considering moving back. If so, we can do the same until he moves back. If not, I'll see if there is any way I could move down there, but then I would also need to talk to my roommate... But I don't want to make too many plans now as I need to see how things play out early to keep making plans. Like I have long term plans for multiple situations. But I don't want to think too far right now. I need to see how short term things play out before making the rest of my plans...
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Is there a train station there? Those are generally fast enough if so to visit for like a day off.
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Revelation34 posted...

Is there a train station there? Those are generally fast enough if so to visit for like a day off.

For where he's going, I don't know for sure. I don't think there's one in this town, though. For passengers, that is...
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When your young (in your 20's), it's not too bad, but yeah, doesn't usually work well post mid 30's. Honestly though, if he isn't into you enough to NOT move 2 1/2 hours away, he's probably not into you enough to deal with a relationship that far away (which means it'll be up to you to do most of the traveling and try to make it work etc).

I could be wrong of course, and every situation is different, but honestly he could find a good place much closer if he wanted, even not in the same town. There are plenty of towns closer then 2 1/2 hours away from you just about anywhere you live in the US. Heck your probably within 2 1/2 hours of a major city.

If he hasn't moved yet, i'd seriously sit down and talk to him before he does and figure out what you guys want in the future. If you mainly are staying where you are because of your roomate and BF, and he's jetting, Id' talk to your roomate as well, maybe he'd be down to move with you (if you don't want to move in with your BF for that matter).

Could always get a 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom together (and split the rent 3 ways), would probably be cheaper then you guys are paying right now (unless your BF is getting to live free...in which case maybe you can move in with him and both live free lol).

Anyway, fight for what you want, just don't sit back and let things go and see how they turn out. If you like having your BF near you, fight for it, and let him know. Let him know your worried about the distance etc. See what he says at least and see if you guys can come up with a solution:)
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Well, one of the reasons he's moving to where he's moving is because he's moving to his brother's property. So, it's either super cheap or free. Though, it's also really small. Plus, he still does have to see if the house with be salvageable. If it is, then he might move back into it after they fix it. But they might not be able to save it. But there are other variables. That's why I wanted to wait a little.
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That will be difficult. Good luck.
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With this happening, I always start thinking about moving back to Maryland. But at the same time, I don't want to. I have reasons for wanting to go and stay. But one of my biggest reasons for staying was him...
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