Current Events > Geez, J.J. Abrams is a fucking dick.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I over heard one if my co-workers assisting a guess and I immediately recognized the voice. It was J.J. himself!
I was so excited. I waited for my co-worker (who didn't recognize him) to leave before I went over to introduce myself.
I caught him while he was reading from a tablet.

"Excuse me," that caught his attention, "Are you J.J. Abrams?"

He let out a sigh, but I continued.

"I love your work! The way you film, your movies. Your one of my favorite directors!"
"Hey, what's your name, kid," he said as he laid the tablet down and put all of his attention on me.
"Umm, Kitt...," I replied.
"Okay, so imagine this, Kitt: You're at a movie theater, presumably watching one of my movies. You know, you're just sitting there, trying to relax and have a good time, then all of a sudden, I show up. I'm like, 'Oh shit, it's Kitt from the hotel! I love the way you type on the computer and clean up your desk! What's up!?'"

I was flabbergasted.

"I...," was all I could mutter out before he interrupted me.
"And now everybody's fun time is ruined because they just wanted to sit back and enjoy the movie peace. So how do you think I feel right now!?"
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm a fan."
"Okay, cool. Mission accomplished. Now get the fuck out of my face."

He resumes reading his tablet as I walk back to my desk in defeat.

Tl;dr: How do I deal with heartbreak?
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You should run back up to him and tell him you wrote a screenplay and want him to read it. Also insist on calling him Rian Spielberg. If that doesn't win him over, he's a robot impostor.
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Tell him lost sucked
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Good on him. Hate little shits that think the world has to stop because they are a fan.
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I saw JJ Abrams in a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. The only thing in his cart was 30 boxes of Cheese Nips.
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Get lens flared son


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I saw J.J. Abrams at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didnt want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, Oh, like youre doing now?
I was taken aback, and all I could say was Huh? but he kept cutting me off and going huh? huh? huh? and closing his hand shut in front of my face.
I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like Sir, you need to pay for those first.
At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually to prevent any electrical infetterence, and then turned around and winked at me. I dont even think thats a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
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You should have signed his Tablet. He apparently was a big fan so why wait for him to find you in a theater. Just sign it for him now.
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He probably get's "over excited fan" run up to him 30+ times a day. Gonna quote M.Bison here "For you, the day Abram graced your job was the most important day of your life. For me, it was Tuesday."
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If famous people don't want to deal with the hastle that comes with being famous, I.E fans wanting to speak to you, then get the fuck outta here, and just, you know, stop being famous. If this is real, you should have explained that to him, and then spit in his face. If you're a nobody, then he couldn't really retaliate. Gods have to be careful with how they treat mortals.
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"Wow, guess you shouldn't have gone into entertainment for a career then dumbass"
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Taken aback
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I met J.J. Abrams at a restaurant once - wed accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong, (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that). Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says Im so sorry, but wed like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and well gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal youd like while youre in town. My sister and cousin were both like Yeah thats cool. and I kind of played the asshole a bit. "Im sorry, I just dont understand. Weve been here for 15 minutes - weve just ordered. Cant we finish our meal here?" Then out of nowhere J.J. Abrams shows up next to the manager and says Paul, these guys can finish. Well be at the bar. I got some time. And I (being a big movie buff) said Oh wow, uh I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table. J.J. was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, J.J. Abrams and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.
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J.J. comes up to you a few minutes after your terse conversation.

"Hey man, I'm sorry I snapped at you back there. I've been really busy producing and directing stuff, and then there's all this Star Wars crap... I was feeling a bit crabby. Thanks for being a fan."

You brush it off - after all, it's not every day that you get to see your favorite movie director in the flesh, let alone talk to them! The mood is chill, and things are all good again.

Then, J.J. pulls out a box from behind his back.

"Here, Kitt. This is my Mystery Box - no-one has ever been allowed to see inside it before, and for being such a cool guy, I'm gonna make you the first."

He puts the box down on the counter. Slowly, with your hands trembling from trepidation, you pull the lid off and look inside...

There are 5 dead fish that he took out of the decorative fish tank, two of them already dead and the other three fading fast. Laying on top of them and crushing them to death is a heavy, human-sized turd.

J.J. rips off his pants and does a backflip. He flips you the bird as his average-sized dong dangles in the wind, and with a might cry of "FUCK YOOOOU!!", he takes an enormous shit all over the floor.
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I met J. J. Abrams once and [COPYPASTA NOT FOUND]
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McMarbles posted...

I met J. J. Abrams once and [COPYPASTA NOT FOUND]

Shut the fuck up
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I went up to J. J. Abrams and was like, "OH MY GAH, I cannot beLIEVE you're J. J. Abrams."

He looked confused and replied, "umm... I'm not J. J. Abra-," "thaaaat's great buddy. Man I really liked the part where you did the things with the spaceship. Well, keep a stiff upper lip dude."

I didn't wanna bother him so I left as quickly as I could. He must've been a pretty humble guy, since I looked back to his still dumbfounded face, almost as if he couldn't believe he had fans who could recognize him in the middle of the streets.

Man I'm not gonna wash my mouth for a while. I can't believe I had a conversation with THE J. J. Abrams
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Kitt posted...

McMarbles posted...

I met J. J. Abrams once and [COPYPASTA NOT FOUND]

Shut the fuck up

Dude. Calm down.
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McMarbles posted...

Kitt posted...

McMarbles posted...

I met J. J. Abrams once and [COPYPASTA NOT FOUND]

Shut the fuck up

Dude. Calm down.

No.
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