Current Events > Gay CEmen: what was it like when you came out?

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Hinakuluiau
06/15/18 4:29:44 PM
#1:


Or CEgals.
And trans too, since it's similar.

When I came out, my mom said she had figured I was from an early age and didn't care except she asked if I was still religious (hispanic Catholic family, etc.)
I have two brothers. The older one was fine with it, the younger one didn't like it because he was/is super Catholic. Even now we barely talk because of it.
My dad is weird. He hasn't treated me differently, but he ignores the situation.

I guess I got lucky, some of my friends were much worse.
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hollow_shrine
06/15/18 4:45:28 PM
#2:


I didn't even try until moving away for college. Arriving on campus I got to start over and present myself as sexually ambiguous even before I told someone that I was gay. Between school and home I kind of lived two lives until like a year after graduation, when my mom actually asked. The family situation is still weird. Half of us get it; and are fine. Half of us think it's a phase, or are still in some stage of denial. It's not really something we talk about. The extended family is an even bigger complication.

I don't really keep up with non-family I knew from before coming out. I wasn't close enough with any of them to feel I needed them to stay in my life. But I've made a point of making it clear in every relationship I've started since, because visibility is important for making society less hostile to queer people, and because I don't want to put up with the casual homophobia I put up with when I was still a teenager. Even when those decisions leave me feeling alienated, I think it's better to be alone with one's principles.
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yusiko
06/15/18 4:46:20 PM
#3:


awkward
each and every single time
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MachoManSavage
06/15/18 4:47:47 PM
#4:


Curious.

Would you consider it the same if someone had a trans girlfriend? Who everyone thinks is a biological girl?
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hollow_shrine
06/15/18 4:53:00 PM
#5:


MachoManSavage posted...
Curious.

Would you consider it the same if someone had a trans girlfriend? Who everyone thinks is a biological girl?

I'm not sure what you're asking here.

Why would you need to 'come out' as dating an transwoman. Like seriously, even if there were a reason the two of you needed to reveal that she is a transwoman (and I don't even know what that scenario would look like), wouldn't that still be her decision? Like, how does that decision concern you or I as this woman's (presumably) gender-conforming partners?
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MachoManSavage
06/15/18 4:58:47 PM
#6:


hollow_shrine posted...
MachoManSavage posted...
Curious.

Would you consider it the same if someone had a trans girlfriend? Who everyone thinks is a biological girl?

I'm not sure what you're asking here.

Why would you need to 'come out' as dating an transwoman. Like seriously, even if there were a reason the two of you needed to reveal that she is a transwoman (and I don't even know what that scenario would look like), wouldn't that still be her decision? Like, how does that decision concern you or I as this woman's (presumably) gender-conforming partners?


Because I would be coming out as dating a trans girl?

It's like a guy who is dating another guy. Wouldn't it be coming out if he tells his family his partner is a man?

If no one knows my girl is trans, wouldn't I be on the closet? Or no?
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hollow_shrine
06/15/18 5:14:09 PM
#7:


MachoManSavage posted...
hollow_shrine posted...
MachoManSavage posted...
Curious.

Would you consider it the same if someone had a trans girlfriend? Who everyone thinks is a biological girl?

I'm not sure what you're asking here.

Why would you need to 'come out' as dating an transwoman. Like seriously, even if there were a reason the two of you needed to reveal that she is a transwoman (and I don't even know what that scenario would look like), wouldn't that still be her decision? Like, how does that decision concern you or I as this woman's (presumably) gender-conforming partners?


Because I would be coming out as dating a trans girl?

It's like a guy who is dating another guy. Wouldn't it be coming out if he tells his family his partner is a man?

If no one knows my girl is trans, wouldn't I be on the closet? Or no?

No. You're a straight gender-conforming dude dating a woman.
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MachoManSavage
06/15/18 6:27:02 PM
#8:


hollow_shrine posted...
MachoManSavage posted...
hollow_shrine posted...
MachoManSavage posted...
Curious.

Would you consider it the same if someone had a trans girlfriend? Who everyone thinks is a biological girl?

I'm not sure what you're asking here.

Why would you need to 'come out' as dating an transwoman. Like seriously, even if there were a reason the two of you needed to reveal that she is a transwoman (and I don't even know what that scenario would look like), wouldn't that still be her decision? Like, how does that decision concern you or I as this woman's (presumably) gender-conforming partners?


Because I would be coming out as dating a trans girl?

It's like a guy who is dating another guy. Wouldn't it be coming out if he tells his family his partner is a man?

If no one knows my girl is trans, wouldn't I be on the closet? Or no?

No. You're a straight gender-conforming dude dating a woman.


Cool. Thanks bud.
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MedzXVIII
06/15/18 6:28:52 PM
#9:


I remember when I came out straight. Came straight into her
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Awakened_Link
06/15/18 6:34:02 PM
#10:


Super religious and uptight mom caught me looking at gay porn my freshman year of high school. Banned from the internet for a year.

Tried telling her I was gay that same year. She started crying and went into denial.

A year later, caught sexting another dude in my class. Grounded for several months.

Fast forward nine years later, I meet a really amazing guy who makes me happy. Tried telling her I was gay again and that I have a sweet, loving boyfriend. We start fighting like crazy and she ultimately kicks me out of the house for my 'poor life choices'.

So yeah, not the best coming out situation, lol. But I've never really struggled with my sexual orientation; I knew I was into guys from a fairly early age, and was totally ok with that fact. Friends and even other family members have been super accepting as well.
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MedzXVIII
06/15/18 8:10:26 PM
#11:


Awakened_Link posted...
Super religious and uptight mom caught me looking at gay porn my freshman year of high school. Banned from the internet for a year.

Tried telling her I was gay that same year. She started crying and went into denial.

A year later, caught sexting another dude in my class. Grounded for several months.

Fast forward nine years later, I meet a really amazing guy who makes me happy. Tried telling her I was gay again and that I have a sweet, loving boyfriend. We start fighting like crazy and she ultimately kicks me out of the house for my 'poor life choices'.

So yeah, not the best coming out situation, lol. But I've never really struggled with my sexual orientation; I knew I was into guys from a fairly early age, and was totally ok with that fact. Friends and even other family members have been super accepting as well.

Were you born gay or did you choose to be gay?
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hollow_shrine
06/15/18 8:33:00 PM
#12:


Honestly, who goes out of their way to troll a thread like this? All these other topics. How are some of you people so pressed?
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dotsdfe
06/15/18 8:40:09 PM
#13:


I'm 27 and still haven't bothered. My parents are mildly homophobic (IE they tend to make fun of gay people on TV fairly regularly), and my grandma in particular is tremendously homophobic (to the point where she'll actively say she hates gay people and doesn't want to be near them).

The friends that I've told have been supportive, though.
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Nami-Bot
06/15/18 8:40:45 PM
#14:


it was one year ago!

mom said she already knew it. it was super good because it improved our relationship, I never feared being kicked out from home and life got so much better.
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SpoiltTrouser
06/15/18 8:43:21 PM
#15:


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MedzXVIII
06/15/18 10:02:14 PM
#16:


dotsdfe posted...
I'm 27 and still haven't bothered. My parents are mildly homophobic (IE they tend to make fun of gay people on TV fairly regularly), and my grandma in particular is tremendously homophobic (to the point where she'll actively say she hates gay people and doesn't want to be near them).

The friends that I've told have been supportive, though.

Were you born gay or was it your choice?
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#17
Post #17 was unavailable or deleted.
Parappa09
06/16/18 5:54:28 AM
#18:


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SpoiltTrouser
06/16/18 10:13:42 AM
#19:


Parappa09 posted...
@SpoiltTrouser posted...
tag

you're not out yet?

smh, fight me

these stories are interestong
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Parappa09
06/16/18 10:17:22 AM
#20:


SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
@SpoiltTrouser posted...
tag

you're not out yet?

smh, fight me

these stories are interestong

you dropped your gay card bro
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vocedelmorte
06/16/18 10:19:42 AM
#21:


It wasn't anything interesting, I grew up in a big city so I just kinda changed my circle of friends naturally after high school. My mother just faced the fact that I bring guys home some times, then I got into serious relationships and moved out
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Roshon
06/16/18 10:21:15 AM
#22:


Im not really out. I feel like its pointless to be out when Im a virgin no life, no friends havivg loser whos never dated.
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vocedelmorte
06/16/18 10:25:14 AM
#23:


Roshon posted...
Im not really out. I feel like its pointless to be out when Im a virgin no life, no friends havivg loser whos never dated.

You definitely need to change your mindset, cause it will certainly have negative impact and wouldn't help you to stop been a virgin tbh
Unless you're like 15, thats the only age when its ok to think that of yourself
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CookieMarvin
06/16/18 10:29:54 AM
#24:


Roshon posted...
Im not really out. I feel like its pointless to be out when Im a virgin no life, no friends havivg loser whos never dated.

that actually makes you way cooler than everyone else?
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Lost_All_Senses
06/16/18 10:37:13 AM
#25:


Im not gay but I have a strong feeling my family wouldn't treat me any different if I was. They all seem pretty progressive. My mom is religious but she doesn't hate anybody
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Roshon
06/16/18 10:40:27 AM
#26:


vocedelmorte posted...
Roshon posted...
Im not really out. I feel like its pointless to be out when Im a virgin no life, no friends havivg loser whos never dated.

You definitely need to change your mindset, cause it will certainly have negative impact and wouldn't help you to stop been a virgin tbh
Unless you're like 15, thats the only age when its ok to think that of yourself


Im a 25 year old shut in who rarely leaves the house. I have bad anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. I dont think itll be even possible for me to lose my virginity. No man would date me I have nothing going for me. Ive never even worked. I have no education and didnt even complete high school.

I cant even leave the house without my mom.
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vocedelmorte
06/16/18 10:43:05 AM
#27:


Roshon posted...
vocedelmorte posted...
Roshon posted...
Im not really out. I feel like its pointless to be out when Im a virgin no life, no friends havivg loser whos never dated.

You definitely need to change your mindset, cause it will certainly have negative impact and wouldn't help you to stop been a virgin tbh
Unless you're like 15, thats the only age when its ok to think that of yourself


Im a 25 year old shut in who rarely leaves the house. I have bad anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. I dont think itll be even possible for me to lose my virginity. No man would date me I have nothing going for me. Ive never even worked. I have no education and didnt even complete high school.

I cant even leave the house without my mom.

Oh okay. My apologies then
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SpoiltTrouser
06/17/18 8:59:01 AM
#28:


Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
@SpoiltTrouser posted...
tag

you're not out yet?

smh, fight me

these stories are interestong

you dropped your gay card bro

where
---
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Parappa09
06/17/18 9:03:23 AM
#29:


SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
@SpoiltTrouser posted...
tag

you're not out yet?

smh, fight me

these stories are interestong

you dropped your gay card bro

where

right behind you
---
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MedzXVIII
06/17/18 9:16:25 AM
#30:


Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
@SpoiltTrouser posted...
tag

you're not out yet?

smh, fight me

these stories are interestong

you dropped your gay card bro

where

right behind you

Shouldnt that be in front of you?
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SpoiltTrouser
06/17/18 9:29:34 AM
#31:


Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
@SpoiltTrouser posted...
tag

you're not out yet?

smh, fight me

these stories are interestong

you dropped your gay card bro

where

right behind you

don't bum me when I pick it up ye
---
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Parappa09
06/17/18 9:51:32 AM
#32:


SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
SpoiltTrouser posted...
Parappa09 posted...
@SpoiltTrouser posted...
tag

you're not out yet?

smh, fight me

these stories are interestong

you dropped your gay card bro

where

right behind you

don't bum me when I pick it up ye

fuck you m8 i can bum who i like
---
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SpoiltTrouser
06/17/18 11:31:27 AM
#33:


Parappa09 posted...
fuck you m8 i can bum who i like

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RAW8Tzt28Ts#
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BalanceLost
06/17/18 1:10:49 PM
#34:


I came out back in my second year of high school.

My mum did not take it well and called it a phase.

My dad was pretty neutral and more or less just said use a condom when you sleep with boys.

My brother (5 years older) was happy for me and wondered if I had a boyfriend. He also told me to inform him if a guy broke my heart so he could break his jaw

Nami-Bot posted...
it was one year ago!

mom said she already knew it. it was super good because it improved our relationship, I never feared being kicked out from home and life got so much better.

Im happy for you Rihoof!! @Nami-Bot
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Nami-Bot
06/17/18 3:25:05 PM
#35:


BalanceLost posted...
Im happy for you Rihoof!!


thank you <3 life only got better since then.

we need to catch up at some point, @BalanceLost !!
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LinksLiege
06/17/18 3:31:42 PM
#36:


I'm still not out for the most part, even after this long. >_>;
Lot of different reasons for that, but it's mainly because I've been quiet about it IRL for so long that the act of being open just feels weird to me. I've never actively tried to hide it, though - I just don't mention it until it becomes appropriate to do so...and somehow it never comes up.

The few people who do know haven't reacted much. One of my coworkers told me he's bi, and I said the same back to him and he was like, "I'm not surprised." Assistant manager didn't say anything but I know she's cool. I finally said something to my super-gay boss after the supreme court ruling regarding the cake and he was similarly not surprised.

So yeah. Uneventful for those people.
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