Current Events > ~Confession Topic~

(+) Yeah! (+)

Vulgorn posted...

for...

making a confession topic?

Yes I love these so much!
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havent been warned before. and no problem yall. it's been a while so i think it was needed.
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I am sexually attracted to dogs. If dogs could talk, I would marry one.

Im obsessed with Zodd3224 and I imagine him having sex with me often.

How the hell does sex reassignment surgery work? Do they just attach a dick to a woman and suddenly they can utilize it?

google, my man. google.

*bashes the form repeatedly with a brick*

i wonder who this could be.
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How the hell does sex reassignment surgery work? Do they just attach a dick to a woman and suddenly they can utilize it?

Yes, it melts itself onto the skin and everything connects appropriately with your internal plumbing.

This doesn't stop at just one penis btw
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you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

*throws a brick a Eevee Trainer*
That's for all the times, you [redacted]

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*Brick Break*

Imagine taking on a master of their craft
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we got us a long one.

my lovely family.

I will first of all admit that I am in my 30s and a virgin so let's get that laugh out of the way. Though in retrospect I've had chances for sex. Part of not doing it was general shyness and part of it was religious reasons, but now in my 30s, having been forced to move back home because yay useless college degree and that whole money thing, I'm beginning to question somethings.....especially you know with that whole porn addiction that has come and gone over years. but back to trying no fap once again! porn is a plague, and well as one is going to find out i'm mentally unstable.

that said....my family is fucked in the head.

it's not uncommon for mom to blame our familys dysfunction on our grandmother....shes been dead for over a decade FYI. but it is her fault still apparently that my sister we'll call her sister B doesnt like the family anymore.

Sister B and C used to get along really well. C however is also screwed up....as such she has had a dependence upon mom and dad for a lot things, including emotional support and of course losts of money!

B was telling C all about how the family is screwed up, C finally did her own investigation and concluded that B was lying. She decides to confront B, with a letter, while she is in the hospital giving birth to a child. As one can imagine B no longer talks to C.

Sister A, a divorced single mom that is a hoarder and the very meme of single cat lady. B and A hate each other and always have, but ironically despite the accusations that B is a cold hearted bitch, A only has a place to stay because B could afford to buy a house and let A live their at the bare minimum cost to pay the mortage. and the family still thinks B is the bitch of the family.

My lovely brother, he's quite the loser and a damn lying thief too. he would put politicians to shame. When he got married, he lived with mom and dad for a year or two, and treated them like hot garbage. His wife is a fat lazy fuck that does nothing to help out around the house(she doesnt work so and doesnt do house work....she does nothing, literally). shes a fat overweight lazy fuck who can barely microwave stuff for dinner. Eventually they moved out into their own house for maybe a year, then my brother decided to go out of state to go to law school(he had a bacherlors in law or something) to be a lawyer. he dropped out when he was one or two semesters away from finishing. While I am a God believing man and do believe in dreams from God....Allegedly God told him to drop out of law school at the very end. I'm not sure I buy this because he hasn't had a job in 3 years since then.

Also it needs to be said he didnt sell the house he bought until 1-2 years into living out of state so he had that mortage to pay for too.

how did he live you might ask?

My father owns a business, I was trying to take it over, and went through the finances. Brother has averaged 80k a year from dad's business for the past several years for doing nothing. I'm also the villian and bitch for telling my dad and mom that is wrong and that is thievery and someone is lying to someone.

I've thought about emailing/messaging every employee at the business this information. FYI, our hardest working employee there and most loyal employee makes i think it is 60k before taxes, and by hard working I mean to get that amount you have to work AT LEAST 60 hours a week often more than that, and this is a phyisically intense job. one of the shittiest parts of the job that pays the least(25-30k).

putting the business on it's knees like that after dad screwed me while i was trying to learn the business would be amazing. I'm seriously considering this.

I'm sure these guys would LOVE to know my brother makes triple some of them who are at work at 8pm or later on some nights, and he makes it by doing jack fucking shit.

ITS A DOOZY. PART 1.
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and the continuation/finale.

but that is only what i could calculate.

what isn't calculated is dad paid for the mortage the entire time, seperate from the 80k a year. and mom out of the personal finances gives them money for stuff and various gifts because they can't afford things.

and yet i'm the villian for calling this shit out?

ah but the fun keeps on going.....

in a night of mom's confessions....it first needs to be said that circumcision is violent sexual mutilation and abuse, so when i talk about child abuse in a second, i'm not talking about this kind. though there is that unholy abuse known as circumcision in the family.

mom admitted that we have 3 or 4 pedophiles in the family and nothing has been done about that. one may have molested sister A. Theres also suspicion that a 5th pedophile may have molested sister A's daughter. nobody has done anything about this nor cares too.

one pedophile, my step grandfather, we were apparently all allowed to hang out with. so who knows what may have happened there. supposedly the older children were aware of this problem(theres a 17 year age gap between the oldest and youngest) and so knew to keep an eye on the younger ones. I'm not sure this makes me feel better.

and other pedophiles were still saw and did not exile from our lives. and by we, i mean mom and dad as children lack the choice of whether or not to see family members.

the best part has to be that mom thinks she made the right decisions here.

and what did dad think? they are still married, but dad is married to his job first and foremost. so he probably didnt care.

Sister B has a few kids, her first two however were victims of her eating disorder. she didnt feed them enough growing up. the family didn't care enough to intervene. I was a lowly dumb teenager at the time.

we all cope by rampant amounts of denial. Mom copes by doing genealogy 10 hours a day. dad lives at work. i wallow in depression and misery....though i'm plotting my escape now. Sister B just doesnt talk to the family. Sister A and C are dependent and thus accept the chaos as normal. Brother has no reason whatsoever to say a damn thing about anything with that sweet ride of 80k a year(which doesnt include a new car dad just bought him a year ago).

if you met us, we appear well adjusted. you'd never suspect a fraction of this. my sweet glorious family.....the first chance I get, I'm out of here, and I'll never speak to any of you again.

but hey tonight, me and dad will watch game 7 of the nba western conference finals and pretend like there is absolutely nothing wrong at all.

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Now when people say they have a small penis, do they refer to before or after a boner? Cause my penis is very small unless I get a boner, then it's actually pretty big, like I could grip it pretty well.

there are growers and there are showers.
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Hothlin is a [redacted] lmao!

deport Chill02, Make America Great Again!

my penis is of normal size but it is hidden under pubic area fat. Is this normal?

if you're fat, yes. the more fat you burn, the more you'll see of it.
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Whenever I try to open mouth kiss a dog, they try to lick the inside of my mouth as if digging for scraps of food. It doesn't gross me out, but it disappoints me that they don't enjoy the contact in the same way that I do.

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wtf
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Leanaunfurled posted...

wtf

see if i were a cegal i'd get people creeping on me

instead, as a black guy, i just get bestiality confessions.
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Vulgar I want to [redacted] your [redacted]
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Vulgorn posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

wtf

see if i were a cegal i'd get people creeping on me

instead, as a black guy, i just get bestiality confessions.

I mean, at least you didn't get a/s/l'd because someone thought mutt meant you were a dog

Eevee-Trainer posted...

Vulgar I want to [redacted] your [redacted]

niiiiice.

ThatMuttGuy posted...

I mean, at least you didn't get a/s/l'd because someone thought mutt meant you were a dog

thermites a creep and should stop posting, but ngl that shit made me laugh very hard.
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Stitches is better than 2pac

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Whenever I try to open mouth kiss a dog, they try to lick the inside of my mouth as if digging for scraps of food. It doesn't gross me out, but it disappoints me that they don't enjoy the contact in the same way that I do.

I've tried similar things with my goats tbh. The nans are just weirded out and want to go back to the herd while the billys just want to skip the horseplay and get down and dirty.

Sometimes when I [redacted].

thats pretty vanilla my man. are you 15 or something?

I never actually had any nudes of joestarr. I think that was pretty obvious. I was bored and I wanted to troll her. It was a really shitty thing to do.

it was obvious, and it did work. i respect that you acknowledge it was shitty tbqh.
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Vulgorn posted...

@chill02 you disgust me

What did I do
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chill02 posted...

What did I do

you know exactly what you did.
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https://c8.alamy.com/comp/FG4764/low-section-of-woman-with-blue-nail-polish-resting-on-stiletto-FG4764.jpg

this is the second pic of feet with blue nail polish ive received between the two confession topics ive made. since this one is clearly not a personal pic, i'll go ahead and post it.

im not really that big into feet though, ngl.
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When I was a teenager just discovering porn, the first porn I would regularly view was hentai. Not videos, but illustrations. In the categories of my favorite hentai site, there was section called "furry". Over time, I developed a preference for that section over all others.

As time went on, my tastes further developed. I found certain animal features particularly attractive: pointed ears, bushy tails, pointy snouts. I then realized that no human features were required at all for me to find an animal attractive.

Dogs, which I had previously discounted as being too high maintenance, suddenly became extremely fascinating to me. I can fully enjoy videos of dogs having sex with each other. If dogs could talk, I would be content to never interact with a human ever again.

im too lazy to redact any of this. enjoy.

I wanna see Sayoria's legs.

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Why.
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Why? Why not. I'm sure they are as cute as you.

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There are literally others here who have better bodies than I though.
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gnomefromnome likes Eevee-Trainer

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It is not a contest of who got the "best" body.

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"gnomefromnome likes Eevee-Trainer"
>>implies anybody hates Eevee...

gnomefromnome likes landmines

Koga, I know you're reading this and you'll know who I am. Stick to your plan, buddy. The board is just tired of you saying the same things for years even after everyone put in their input to trying to help you. You have to understand where they're coming from. We all care, it's just frustrating. I'd suggest finding support outside of the internet. Now that your plan is in motion in regards to making money, look into it. Please. They may also be able to consult you about any domestic violence/abuse better than we could. Your situation sucks, we all know it. You need to reach out to proper help.

The new SESTA law has made it really hard to find p4p with call girls, guess it TJ only now.

I met Vulgorn at a grocery store in Las Angeles. I told him how cool it was to meet him, but I didn't want to be a douche and ask for pictures. Right then and there he whipped out his monstrous IPhone X and snapped a picture of the two of us. I was taken aback.

"Here, kid, gimmie your number and I'll send it over to ya"

I'm still wet all these hours later...

but ive never been to cali.
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Im taking a dump and vaping some nice herbs at the same time atm. Feels good man.

aw yiss, motherfuckin cilantro.

I should NOT gotten fucked last time with my hemorroid flare up, now it hurts to even fart!!

When are the waifus getting killed?

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Vulgorn posted...

It is not a contest of who got the "best" body.

Well, I'll admit one thing. I'm proud of my legs. I am one of those blessed with longer legs than my torso, and nicely shaped. Probably my least worrisome area.
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Whoa, someone confessed a bunch of gross things about dogs. That's so weird.
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oh fuck i just vaped some herbs and ate carl's jr! which is basically the same thing

aww yisssss motherfuckin spearmint

I never post in these topics, I just track them to see if you posted my confession. I dont want anyone to figure me out.

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HashtagTartarus posted...

Whoa, someone confessed a bunch of gross things about dogs. That's so weird.

it was definitely you
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Vulgorn posted...

HashtagTartarus posted...

Whoa, someone confessed a bunch of gross things about dogs. That's so weird.

it was definitely you

Whaaat? No, you're mistaken. I didn't even see this topic until just now.
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I'm not Thermite, I just really want to fuck dogs.

I'm happy that you got a body part that you can be proud of.

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Im what they would call a SJW, but I have fantasies about sex with racist white conservatives.

I'm a CEgal with very small boobs. And I don't like them :(

When I was younger and my parents went somewhere and I was home alone, I would go in there room, go to the biggest mirror, get naked, and do naughty things like [redacted]

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Vulgorn posted...

Im what they would call a SJW, but I have fantasies about sex with racist white conservatives.

i thought long and hard about if this was accurate to me, but it's kind of the same way i fall out of love with tomi lahren when she speaks i'd have to have something else to talk about them with, and i don't think i could keep up the relationship for any length of time
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Vulgorn posted...

I am sexually attracted to dogs. If dogs could talk, I would marry one.

Im obsessed with Zodd3224 and I imagine him having sex with me often.

How the hell does sex reassignment surgery work? Do they just attach a dick to a woman and suddenly they can utilize it?

google, my man. google.

*bashes the form repeatedly with a brick*

i wonder who this could be.

You didnt have to post this anonymously @chill02 <3
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o bby
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I wish that was me that posted that Zodd one.
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Sayoria posted...

I wish that was me that posted that Zodd one.

o bby
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Sometimes I fantasize about dressing up in cute cosplay, going to a convention, and a fat nerdy guy at the convention just so happens to be obsessed with the character I'm dressed up as and ends up creepily following me around all day until he gets so frustrated/delusional that he can't hold himself back and [redacted] me while calling me by the name of that character. Maybe he'd try to impregnate me, too. Is that weird?

I am very anti-authoritarian but I have a fetish about being dominated by a female cop

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I'm attending my fourth day of a music festival this weekend. I just moved into my new house recently, and even though I'm looking for a new job to grow in my career I'm feeling pretty good at work. Also, I've told my bosses what I'm doing, so they understand. One final note is I'd like to go see super troopers 2 and deadpool 2 tomorrow for discount movie day.
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I want to punch chill02 in his penis

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Vulgorn posted...

I want to punch chill02 in his penis

Ouch.

joke's on them, I won't feel a thing
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Eevee-Trainer is a black girl.

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I want to bang Vulgorn in the ass.

reveal yourself villain.
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people are gonna think that really long one was me cause in the last topic I said I wanted to confess my whole life story to see what CE would say >_>

it wasn't though.
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Eevee-Trainer is a black girl.

Pale af, sorry to disappoint you Zodd
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