Poll of the Day > I have such bad anxiety when it comes to dating

(+) Yeah! (+)

I hate this feeling and nothing is helping.

I can't tell if I'm being stupid or if I'm getting played rn.

Help me out POTd

Alright so this girl and I have been talking for about 9 days. Met on tinder, talked for a few days on snap, she came over, cuddle fuck cuddle fuck, all good, texting each other the next day, she comes over to see me real quick the next day on her lunch before I have to pick up my son, cute af, next day she starts being distant but tells me she has plans and will call me after, texts me after, we go see avengers, back to her house, cuddle fuck cuddle, (it was the 10:45 pm show and she works mornings so I took this as a serious sign of her interest), next day we text/snap, everything is good, now today.

So today we didn't talk as much and she told me she was probably going to hang out with her friend from school that she matched with on tinder before me and is in town from Cali. Okay that's cool I guess. Play it off like it's not a thing. Her last text to me was short and didn't demand a response so I let it go. Snaps me this cute af pic. Wow nice, oh wait she's all dressed up for him. okay. Send her a cute snap saying she's beautiful, no reply. She texts me randomly asking what time I start work, odd since we've talked about it but okay I tell her, two fucking hours later I get an "ok" text. I ask her why she asked within minutes of getting the text, I'm still waiting on a reply. It's been over two hours and I'm ashamed to say I was monitoring her snap score and it went up so she's clearly on her phone.

I straight up feel like shit and I hardly know this girl
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Post pics

And for reference of how we normally talk


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You have a crush and are over analyzing. She's known you for a week and doesn't really owe you a commitment.

There you go. Just remind yourself of that and go about your business.
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I know she doesn't owe me anything. I would appreciate a simple text saying she isn't feeling it anymore if she isn't tho.

I just don't get how she can go from saying the things she's been saying since we met to completely ignoring me. Like seriously nothing changed or happened.

Obviously I'm over analyzing it but this is what 6 years of psychology classes and 3 years of literally over analyzing people's lives for a living has programmed my brain to do. I can't just shut it off
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haha you callin a girl you just met babe i didn't realize youre such a bitch haha lmfao
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Trying too hard
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woman have all the power
and will change their minds at a whim
woman make me nervous as shit
can't see how anyone could trust them enough to marry them or have kids with them
i'm afraid they'd get bored with me in a heart beat and just fuck my shit up

Sometimes things seem super intense at first and then cool off really quickly. It happens.

You are stage 5 clinging fam

Just chill and let her push it
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So it does seem like it's done right? I can't tell if it's just my anxiety or not
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Smarkil posted...

You are stage 5 clinging fam

Just chill and let her push it

Am I tho? Really only giving what I'm getting until that last text. I'll admit that was weak and I hated myself after i sent it
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You're just dating so if she fucking other dudes that's fine just as you're free to fuck other girls.
Perhaps she's not though. Whatever the case as others have said just chill. Send her a message as you've done and then leave the ball in her court until she replies back. Until she tells you she's not interested I'd assume nothings changed.

Mind you I'd be completely honest, would not fuck a girl I've known for five minutes and certainly wouldn't go around seeing other girls if I was dating someone. Despite it not being exclusive at that stage I'd still treat it as it is. I don't really understand why anyone would be seeing other people if they are happy with the person they currently seeing. If they are not happy then surely they would let the other person knows it's going nowhere and stop.
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maybe she's just a skank that thinks op is fwb

I share your sentiment about only talking to one person at a time. I even deleted my tinder the day she came over during lunch. I didn't tell her or anything like that, just deleted it.

The first day we met she told me she doesn't sleep around or talk to more than one person at a time but who knows now.

I seriously am having a hard time breathing. Like holy fuck how can I have these feelings already? I'm really disappointed in myself
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I just read the first post.. its pretty obvious she fucked this other dude. Which is fine because she doesnt owe you anything. It doesnt mean you cant eventually have a relationship with her, but youre gonna have to come to terms with the fact that shes not into that right now

SmokeMassTree posted...

I seriously am having a hard time breathing. Like holy fuck how can I have these feelings already? I'm really disappointed in myself

Its called being a person

I prefer not doing that
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SmokeMassTree posted...

I seriously am having a hard time breathing. Like holy fuck how can I have these feelings already? I'm really disappointed in myself

Deep breaths help. Also try not to think "what if" as most the time that leads you down a illogical path. All you can really do is wait until she responds.
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MICHALECOLE posted...

I just read the first post.. its pretty obvious she fucked this other dude. Which is fine because she doesnt owe you anything. It doesnt mean you cant eventually have a relationship with her, but youre gonna have to come to terms with the fact that shes not into that right now

Right

Normally I would be cool with that, fuck I usually seek it out, but this girl is different. I like her too much to just fuck occasionally.

wwinterj25 posted...

SmokeMassTree posted...

I seriously am having a hard time breathing. Like holy fuck how can I have these feelings already? I'm really disappointed in myself

Deep breaths help. Also try not to think "what if" as most the time that leads you down a illogical path. All you can really do is wait until she responds.

I have all this time on my hands until then (if she even does , but like really idk what she could even say at this point to make me feel better) and I'm at work so I have zero distractions available. I can't even zone out listening to jre like I usually do. I can't sit in my chair for more than 5 minutes fr
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SmokeMassTree posted...

I'm at work so I have zero distractions available. I can't even zone out listening to jre like I usually do. I can't sit in my chair for more than 5 minutes fr

That sucks man. Distractions would help a lot.
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Fuuuuucccckkkk


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I sense an incoming moderation.
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You need to calm down. All I know is that if you continue to act like this, then no matter what, she will leave you.

None of this insanity is getting back to her and I'm not going to initiate anything else from now on.

This is seriously the worst feeling. Tight chest, upset stomach, and now my head hurts. I just want to go home and lay in bed while I think about this forever and not sleep.


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You should smoke mass trees

Brooo I am vaping them. It's not doing shit. I couldn't even eat all of my lunch and that's never an issue for me.

Top it all off she was very supportive of my weight loss and today I hit 40 pounds down, she looked at the snap in my story and didn't say shit about it.

Clearly this is bad for me but I can't stop thinking about EVERYTHING. I don't want it to end with her but if this is how she is going to make me feel I should just cut her off and be alone again.
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I sympathize but at the same time its like.. man up, broseph. Get drunk and chill out, download tinder again tomorrow and move on with your life

I don't drink and I really don't want to get back on tinder. I seriously thought this time would be different.
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And I know I'm acting like a bitch, trust me I'm not proud of my actions/thoughts tonight.

I just...ugh
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I dont think youre a bitch in this instant. In fact, its nice to see you like this. It humanizes you.

But assuming that youve been telling the truth more than lying in general in your posts, from one smasher with his heart on his sleeve to another, deal with this and then move on.

I appreciate you replying. Really just someone to throw my crazy thoughts at rn is helpful.

I want so bad for her to just be sleeping but I know it's not true. I'm starting to accept it and it sucks.
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I understand. Ive been there.

But fuck it man. Youre alive and tomorrow is a new day. Chins up, my man I know youll be back to your insufferable self soon enough.

Idk man I've been making changes and I honestly feel like I'm not such a dick anymore. Maybe not so much on here because the way people interact with me brings out the old me but more so in real life.

I was happy for the first time in awhile
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Sounds like you're the side bitch, pardon my French.
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Last night absolutely

Before that tho I was wifey
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The panic is appropriate, you met her on tinder.
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I've met plenty of girls that wanted to date me on tinder. A couple that I've wanted to date. Two that I actually did for more than a couple nights.
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A couple nights, is a low bar.
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More than a couple nights.

Several months
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Creation of the topic suggests you have an idea what's going on.
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Nah man she is just playing hard to get


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I'd normally have a good morning text from her right around now

This sucks fr
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Alright so she was "sleeping".

Back to calling me babe and being all cute and shit

Not even about it rn fr
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Your texting skills are horrible. at least try to keep a convo going.

Also she's totes gonna bang that guy
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yeah if a woman hangs out with a man and you're not invited it's to bang they got off on it

she wouldnt flip that quickly. dont stress it man. youll smash it again

And now back to nothing

It's pissing me off that she won't answer this simple question
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bruh, i would not push something pointless like her asking about your work schedule. just ease off and she will come back no doubt. plus the other dude doesnt even live there