Current Events > My gf is psychic or is invading my privacy.

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Muffinz0rz
03/13/18 12:04:47 PM
#51:


lww99 posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
lww99 posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
lww99 posted...
I did some pretty shady shit when we first started dating. But that was literally years ago.

Can you elaborate on "shady?" If you're talking about cheating on her, then yeah you deserve to be cross-examined. I don't even know why she'd still be with you if that was the case.


Sorry, I may have answered this in the first or second topic.

She found me on Tinder. We went on a break because of it. While on that break, I hooked up with someone.

So not technically cheating, but close enough and still shady af

Hmmmmmmm

I guess it slides since you technically didn't cheat, but yes it is a technicality.

Let me ask, why were you on tinder at the time? If a woman had DM'd you on tinder asking to bang while you were not on a break with your girlfriend, would you have accepted?


This is gonna sound really dumb/bad.

But she is/was my first relationship in quite awhile. I was playing the field for years. I still felt the need to flirt, so I made a fake tinder profile to let off that steam.

I figured it was okay to flirt anonymously, or at least safer than doing it outright.

yeah the logic checks out but i totally get why she was upset
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lww99
03/13/18 12:09:26 PM
#52:


Oh definitely. I'm not trying to excuse my behavior, that was just my thought process at the time.
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ShadowElite86
03/13/18 12:26:48 PM
#53:


It sounds like she never got over her trust issues with you. If it's already been years then that could be concerning for any sort of long term relationship with her.

I'd try to talk to her about it. Find out why she's jealous and explain that she has nothing to worry about (assuming she doesn't).
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Funkydog
03/13/18 12:27:55 PM
#54:


Why not just tell her "yeah, she's a girl who hangs at my buddies place"
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lww99
03/13/18 12:31:14 PM
#55:


Might be too late now, idk. And it'd be kind of annoying to have her ask if saw her, every single Friday.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 12:32:56 PM
#56:


Sounds like you're going to be asked regardless.

So why not just say yes, and try to speak with your GF and work on her trust issues? Being honest would help with that as well rather than hiding the truth and fueling her paranoia.
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lww99
03/13/18 12:36:49 PM
#57:


Funkydog posted...
Sounds like you're going to be asked regardless.

So why not just say yes, and try to speak with your GF and work on her trust issues? Being honest would help with that as well rather than hiding the truth and fueling her paranoia.


Yeah that's true. Ugh fuck lol
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Funkydog
03/13/18 12:47:51 PM
#58:


S'worth doing if you care about her, as it sounds like she does have some serious trust issues.

If talking with her still doesn't work then... well, not much you can do.
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CensorErik
03/13/18 12:52:16 PM
#59:


Why are you keeping that info secret from her? That is worthy of not being trusted. It's lying by omission. She's not psychic, she's just not stupid. And you probably have tells like a mofo that you're too blind to see. As far as her knowing about the chick's specifics, someone is probably telling her. Or she trusts you so little she followed you once and when you didn't tell her about the chick later you just confirmed she should be suspicious. Tell the truth and try to move on together, but if she still doesn't trust you then I'd say that relationship's days are numbered.
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lww99
03/13/18 1:54:02 PM
#60:


CensorErik posted...
Why are you keeping that info secret from her? That is worthy of not being trusted. It's lying by omission. She's not psychic, she's just not stupid. And you probably have tells like a mofo that you're too blind to see. As far as her knowing about the chick's specifics, someone is probably telling her. Or she trusts you so little she followed you once and when you didn't tell her about the chick later you just confirmed she should be suspicious. Tell the truth and try to move on together, but if she still doesn't trust you then I'd say that relationship's days are numbered.


I mentioned this earlier, but basically don't want to be interrogated every time I go hang out with this friend. I don't want her worrying constantly.

Telling her could go either way
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lww99
03/13/18 1:58:25 PM
#61:


Honestly I think it's just gonna make herself feel worse about herself. She's just gonna compare herself to this girl non stop.

This really sucks. Legit wasn't trying to make anything happen, wasn't trying to start drama, and here we are.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 1:59:18 PM
#62:


lww99 posted...
CensorErik posted...
Why are you keeping that info secret from her? That is worthy of not being trusted. It's lying by omission. She's not psychic, she's just not stupid. And you probably have tells like a mofo that you're too blind to see. As far as her knowing about the chick's specifics, someone is probably telling her. Or she trusts you so little she followed you once and when you didn't tell her about the chick later you just confirmed she should be suspicious. Tell the truth and try to move on together, but if she still doesn't trust you then I'd say that relationship's days are numbered.


I mentioned this earlier, but basically don't want to be interrogated every time I go hang out with this friend. I don't want her worrying constantly.

Telling her could go either way

She already knows, or suspects enough she believes it anyway.

Just be honest with her and stop hiding a detail that is completely irrelevant. You hiding it is stupid and just makes you look more suspicious for no reason.
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lww99
03/13/18 2:05:56 PM
#63:


Funkydog posted...
lww99 posted...
CensorErik posted...
Why are you keeping that info secret from her? That is worthy of not being trusted. It's lying by omission. She's not psychic, she's just not stupid. And you probably have tells like a mofo that you're too blind to see. As far as her knowing about the chick's specifics, someone is probably telling her. Or she trusts you so little she followed you once and when you didn't tell her about the chick later you just confirmed she should be suspicious. Tell the truth and try to move on together, but if she still doesn't trust you then I'd say that relationship's days are numbered.


I mentioned this earlier, but basically don't want to be interrogated every time I go hang out with this friend. I don't want her worrying constantly.

Telling her could go either way

She already knows, or suspects enough she believes it anyway.

Just be honest with her and stop hiding a detail that is completely irrelevant. You hiding it is stupid and just makes you look more suspicious for no reason.


Yeah she pretty much joked her way into believing it
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lww99
03/13/18 2:41:07 PM
#64:


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Funkydog
03/13/18 2:42:29 PM
#65:


What did you say/how you say it?

Hopefully you didn't accuse her or anything.
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tremain07
03/13/18 2:43:35 PM
#66:


God, just break up with the bitch, TC. She's clearly crazy. Is the sex that good?
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lww99
03/13/18 2:45:18 PM
#67:


I'm just gonna be honest about this "side chick" situation. Please read the whole thing and understand that I'm being 100% truthful about everything I say. I have not been talking to anyone. I have no intention of talking to anyone. I do not want to date anyone else, I want to be with you.

That being said, you were right about there being someone at Chris' house. When you sent me that picture yesterday, I thought it might have been the same girl. We may have said a total of 5 words to each other, basically not being rude. She knows I have a girlfriend, and she has a boyfriend. Never tried getting her name, number, anything like that.

Her son and Tonya's son play DnD together, and that's why she's there. I have done nothing to set that up, and I as mentioned, haven't even really talked to her. This is strictly coincidence, and not someone I want to pursue.

I didn't tell you about it because I didn't want you to worry every time I go grab, feel like you don't compare to her, or anything like that. I should have just been upfront with you from the get go, even if I haven't done anything "shady"

You are welcome to come with me to see that there is nothing on, or I can try to go earlier/ on a different day.

"Please tell me you are fucking joking"
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moose_knuckle
03/13/18 2:46:24 PM
#68:


Good lord son
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lww99
03/13/18 2:50:11 PM
#69:


If there wasn't something going on, you wouldn't have hidden this from me. I've had a gut feeling about this for a month and every time I've brought it up you completely lied to me. How many times have you gone there and seen her? Do not lie to me.

So three times you've been over there and you don't even know her name? You've barely spoken but she knows about me? This is way more sketchy than you are letting on

I'm not stupid. I know damn well that she's exactly the kind of girl you would entertain the idea of.

You need to stop downplaying this. I do not have a gut feeling over a random harmless stranger. This is different and I would bet any amount of money on it. Tell me the truth.

Fuck me.
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lww99
03/13/18 3:00:03 PM
#70:


Insisting I'm not telling her the whole truth. Sick to her stomach. Yaaaay, can't wait to go home.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 3:17:44 PM
#71:


...You didn't do this in person?
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lww99
03/13/18 3:19:32 PM
#72:


No. I wanted to type it so I could get everything out without being interrupted. I'll be home in an hour though.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 3:24:13 PM
#73:


Why would you have a serious discussion over text?
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lww99
03/13/18 3:26:00 PM
#74:


Cuz I'm dumb af honestly. And she kept asking if something was bothering me.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 3:34:55 PM
#75:


Welp. Try to not dig yourself in a hole even more this time.
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lww99
03/13/18 3:36:55 PM
#76:


eh, even if I said all of that in person, it would have the same result.
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NOM
03/13/18 3:38:44 PM
#77:


Usually women who act like that have something to hide themselves.

She's fucking around on you.

Don't trust these hoes.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 3:41:58 PM
#78:


lww99 posted...
eh, even if I said all of that in person, it would have the same result.

It's more you can comfort and console her better in person and soothe her insecurities.
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Muffinz0rz
03/13/18 3:45:09 PM
#79:


lww99 posted...
We may have said a total of 5 words to each other, basically not being rude

lww99 posted...
She knows I have a girlfriend

So, unless the first and only five words you said to her were "Hi, I have a girlfriend," then I get why your girlfriend is a little suspicious lmfao
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a_riot04
03/13/18 3:57:36 PM
#80:


Tag for updates.
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lww99
03/13/18 3:59:42 PM
#81:


Muffinz0rz posted...
lww99 posted...
We may have said a total of 5 words to each other, basically not being rude

lww99 posted...
She knows I have a girlfriend

So, unless the first and only five words you said to her were "Hi, I have a girlfriend," then I get why your girlfriend is a little suspicious lmfao


Let me clarify. We've never had a private conversations. I may have commented on ongoing convcerstion, but I was talking to a group of people. Not just her. And yes I did bring up having a girlfriend.
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Muffinz0rz
03/13/18 4:16:02 PM
#82:


lww99 posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
lww99 posted...
We may have said a total of 5 words to each other, basically not being rude

lww99 posted...
She knows I have a girlfriend

So, unless the first and only five words you said to her were "Hi, I have a girlfriend," then I get why your girlfriend is a little suspicious lmfao


Let me clarify. We've never had a private conversations. I may have commented on ongoing convcerstion, but I was talking to a group of people. Not just her. And yes I did bring up having a girlfriend.

oh ok that makes sense

i guess i could see you talking with a group of people (her included) and just being like "my girlfriend and I did X" and thus now she knows
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Panthera
03/13/18 4:22:21 PM
#83:


Why did you not just be honest from the beginning? Why did you do this over text which basically is putting up a neon sign saying "I'm terrified if I said this in person you'd know I was lying"? Why did you phrase it in a dumb way "we've barely talked but oh she totally knows I have a girlfriend"? Dude you are digging this hole for yourself like mad by not just being mature and honest from the start instead of trying so hard to keep it under wraps that you've made something mundane look totally suspect
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lww99
03/13/18 4:40:42 PM
#84:


Just got home. She's locked in her room, and her pillow isn't on our bed. Cool.
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moose_knuckle
03/13/18 5:22:04 PM
#85:


lww99 posted...
Just got home. She's locked in her room, and her pillow isn't on our bed. Cool.


You have separate rooms?
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lww99
03/13/18 5:48:07 PM
#86:


I have an office. She has a make up room. We share a bedroom.
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bulletproofvita
03/13/18 6:00:14 PM
#87:


NOM posted...
Usually women who act like that have something to hide themselves.

Listen to this advice
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Alexanaxela
03/13/18 6:05:14 PM
#88:


lww99 posted...
I didn't tell you about it because I didn't want you to worry every time I go grab, feel like you don't compare to her, or anything like that. I should have just been upfront with you from the get go, even if I haven't done anything "shady"

dood you did not really tell her that did you?
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lww99
03/13/18 6:08:58 PM
#89:


She's always saying how she doesn't feel like she matches up to certain girls idk
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Funkydog
03/13/18 7:06:18 PM
#90:


lww99 posted...
She's always saying how she doesn't feel like she matches up to certain girls idk

Even more reason to not say it like that.
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bulletproofvita
03/13/18 7:08:18 PM
#91:


TC stuffed up :/
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lww99
03/13/18 7:09:00 PM
#92:


Ugh I really shouldn't have said anything. Probably wouldn't have if I didn't make this topic.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 7:10:40 PM
#93:


No, I think you should have said it.

Just not over fucking text >.>
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lww99
03/13/18 7:13:06 PM
#94:


I'm telling you, the end result would be the same. Maybe worse, because I would say even more stupid shit.
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bulletproofvita
03/13/18 7:13:57 PM
#95:


Dude just console her....
This is a learning experience for you.... Don't leave things out.
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Funkydog
03/13/18 7:16:27 PM
#96:


bulletproofvita posted...
Dude just console her....
This is a learning experience for you.... Don't leave things out.


This. You are in this mess because you didn't explain a completely mundane thing and let her insecurities build up and then just fed them when you did "confess"

Tell her you were wrong and it was stupid of you to not just tell her about this. And that she's wonderful and other mushy shit. Maybe something sappy like make her a card saying sorry and cook her a nice meal.
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The-19th-Sparta
03/13/18 7:18:17 PM
#97:


Go to her door, knock on it, say you want to talk things out, that you have nothing to hide and want to explain that none of the stuff she thinks is going on is happening so she can be happy, you can be happy, and that you can continue living a good life with each other.

Sounds like you both need to grow up a bit, which isn't bad as these types of stuff happen in almost every relationship. Work things out together.
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moose_knuckle
03/13/18 7:23:09 PM
#98:


How old are you tc?

And the gal currently locked in her...makeup room?
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lww99
03/13/18 7:26:27 PM
#99:


That's just what she calls it. Basically just where she gets ready for work. She has a computer in there as well. I'm 27. She's 24.
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mipond
03/13/18 7:27:47 PM
#100:


I hate tinder.
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