Current Events > Girl tried to give me herpes

(+) Yeah! (+)

This chick I've been seeing for awhile is really into me. She knows I've been stressed out so tried treating me last week to dinner and a nice hotel room. I was busy so declined. We rescheduled for yesterday night.

She had food, booze, candles, sexy clothes, etc. The lights were dim and we makeout and did other adult stuff. Then she wanted us to go swim at the pool. The lighting was better at the pool and I noticed a red bump on her lip, asked her what happened and she said it was a cold sore she had but it scabbed up a week ago. I was shocked. Anyway she kept fighting me on how she wasn't contagious, etc. Even joked that it's "just herpes" and no big deal. I was annoyed, I don't care if it's a big deal or not, I didn't consent to getting it. I couldn't get it out of my head that she'd be that inconsiderate of spreading diseases to me, regardless of all of the super nice things she's done for me.

I finished out the night and thanked her and made her feel that I was grateful, but as soon as she left I just needed to feel super upset and conflicted. What if she infected me? I just felt the need to vent, she did something super night and spent a lot of money on me but I feel used and horrible.
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hot
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Herpes isn't lethal, aside from the occasional outbreak you won't experience anything distressing. Chicken Pox is actually a form of herpes.
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008Zulu posted...

Herpes isn't lethal, aside from the occasional outbreak you won't experience anything distressing. Chicken Pox is actually a form of herpes.

Yeah that's true, just inconvenient. But wtf? Seriously? I found it just super selfish and sketchy of her.
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It's really common and very likely isn't contagious if it did indeed scab up a week ago. I've seen this attitude a lot, but it's still inconsiderate and you're right to be upset.

We've all had our close calls and I always low key steal a few good looks at any lips before kissing.
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Im really sorry to tell you this, but you now have herpes. I agree with you, that was crap for her to do that. Couple things: majority of Americans have or get cold sores, also known as Herpes Simplex Type I, or HSV-1. It is oral herpes and a large portion of the population has it. Hell, many kids get it as kids just by touching and kissing objects through their youth and adolescent years.

The big issue with it is that it is so common, that people have lost touch with the fact that it is a serious disease. She figures she has a cold sore, and she doesnt care because everyone she knows gets cold sores... So shell just say fuck it and kiss you? You now 100% have HSV-1. It sucks, the cold sores will happen a couple times a year, just get some cream for it. She is a piece of s***.

Believe it or not people, there are a few lucky individuals out there who never managed to get HSV-1 throughout their life! It must be nice not having to deal with cold sores. So dont go around spreading to anyone just because you think its not a big deal since majority of people have it.
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Cold sores are not a big deal. I'd be angrier about someone giving me the flu.

Pretty much gave it to you then, sorry to tell you. It's highly contagious and she basically lied to you in that respect. There's already trust issues if she didn't even disclose that to you, so it's something to think about going forward. Also, now on top of that, you have an obligation to tell any future women you date if you likely did indeed contract the disease.
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zinezinzadan posted...

Im really sorry to tell you this, but you now have herpes. You now 100% have HSV-1.

Settle down. It was scabbed and possibly for a week. He probably doesn't have it if that's true. But if he does, it'll be down to a mild annual annoyance in a few years with some cream. A few more years after that, they'll cure the damn thing.
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did you beat her up?

Krojen posted...

zinezinzadan posted...

Im really sorry to tell you this, but you now have herpes. You now 100% have HSV-1.

Settle down. It was scabbed and possibly for a week. He probably doesn't have it if that's true. But if he does, it'll be down to a mild annual annoyance in a few years with some cream. A few more years after that, they'll cure the damn thing.

Its one of the most highly contagious diseases there is.. I know this because I contracted it from a woman who made out with me while she had a spot on her lip. When there is a cold sore, it means she is having an outbreak. If any part of your oral fluids interact with an outbreak, its game over.

There is a simple rule for not spreading it, wait for the outbreak to be over. Ive been doing that with every girlfriend ever since. Kissing without an outbreak is not contagious.

PRO TIP WARNING: Please remember this forever to everyone that is reading this. Kissing someone who has herpes I (oral herpes) will get you the disease ONLY if one of the persons has an outbreak. SUPER IMPORTANT: this is something that many do not know unfortunately.. engaging in oral sex while having an outbreak of Herpes I will actually give you Herpes II (genital herpes) which is the bad kind. Youre ****ed if that happens.

You read that right.. so please be responsible. If someone has a simple cold sore, DO NOT let them eat you out or give you a blow job. There is an alarming chance that your body will procreate HSV-2 (genital herpes). Something so mindless thats not a big deal like cold sores, can give you hell.. life is strange.
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I'm sorry that happened to you. I've been through hellish paranoia when dating women with HSV1. Probably worse than HSV1 itself.

And It gets worse. There's a lot of literature about asymptomatic shedding, so you could possibly get it with no visible outbreak. That being said, you usually must make contact with a sore containing fluid. Once it's a scab (esp a week after that), the person likely isn't contagious and won't even test positive with a swab test.

HSV1 does not turn into HSV2, but you can transmit HSV1 to the genitals. The 2 are genetically very similar, but HSV1 spends more time being dormant after initial outbreak in the genital region than HSV2.

https://academic.oup.com/jid/article/181/4/1454/864312
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Krojen posted...

I'm sorry that happened to you. I've been through hellish paranoia when dating women with HSV1. Probably worse than HSV1 itself.

And It gets worse. There's a lot of literature about asymptomatic shedding, so you could possibly get it with no visible outbreak. That being said, you usually must make contact with a sore containing fluid. Once it's a scab (esp a week after that), the person likely isn't contagious and won't even test positive with a swab test.

HSV1 does not turn into HSV2, but you can transmit HSV1 to the genitals. The 2 are genetically very similar, but HSV1 spends more time being dormant after initial outbreak in the genital region than HSV2.

https://academic.oup.com/jid/article/181/4/1454/864312

I think what freaks me out the most is looking into this online and even in the discussion in this thread there's a split in the information. I'll keep my eyes peeled for symptoms over the next few weeks.

I think what bugs me that most is the fact that she doesn't think it's a huge deal to herself, so why not keep the info a secret and keep spreading it. I'm kind of a germaphobe but the fact that she's breaking trust really messes with me. I don't care that she spent $100's of dollars and let me do nasty things to her, not worth getting colds sores if I have been avoiding it for 20+ years.
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008Zulu posted...

Herpes isn't lethal, aside from the occasional outbreak you won't experience anything distressing. Chicken Pox is actually a form of herpes.

Yeah but... some people don't want an uncurable disease that they got non-consensually from a one off sexual encounter.
Someone might be willing to come to terms with it if they were like... romantically involved over a longer period of time with the person, but no one wants to get it just from hooking up with a person.
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zinezinzadan posted...

Krojen posted...

zinezinzadan posted...

Im really sorry to tell you this, but you now have herpes. You now 100% have HSV-1.

Settle down. It was scabbed and possibly for a week. He probably doesn't have it if that's true. But if he does, it'll be down to a mild annual annoyance in a few years with some cream. A few more years after that, they'll cure the damn thing.

Its one of the most highly contagious diseases there is.. I know this because I contracted it from a woman who made out with me while she had a spot on her lip. When there is a cold sore, it means she is having an outbreak. If any part of your oral fluids interact with an outbreak, its game over.

There is a simple rule for not spreading it, wait for the outbreak to be over. Ive been doing that with every girlfriend ever since. Kissing without an outbreak is not contagious.

PRO TIP WARNING: Please remember this forever to everyone that is reading this. Kissing someone who has herpes I (oral herpes) will get you the disease ONLY if one of the persons has an outbreak. SUPER IMPORTANT: this is something that many do not know unfortunately.. engaging in oral sex while having an outbreak of Herpes I will actually give you Herpes II (genital herpes) which is the bad kind. Youre ****ed if that happens.

You read that right.. so please be responsible. If someone has a simple cold sore, DO NOT let them eat you out or give you a blow job. There is an alarming chance that your body will procreate HSV-2 (genital herpes). Something so mindless thats not a big deal like cold sores, can give you hell.. life is strange.

Yeah you wait for the outbreak to pass but do you actually inform your partner that it's something you have?
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Cooold soooreded
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Hexenherz posted...

zinezinzadan posted...

Krojen posted...

zinezinzadan posted...

Im really sorry to tell you this, but you now have herpes. You now 100% have HSV-1.

Settle down. It was scabbed and possibly for a week. He probably doesn't have it if that's true. But if he does, it'll be down to a mild annual annoyance in a few years with some cream. A few more years after that, they'll cure the damn thing.

Its one of the most highly contagious diseases there is.. I know this because I contracted it from a woman who made out with me while she had a spot on her lip. When there is a cold sore, it means she is having an outbreak. If any part of your oral fluids interact with an outbreak, its game over.

There is a simple rule for not spreading it, wait for the outbreak to be over. Ive been doing that with every girlfriend ever since. Kissing without an outbreak is not contagious.

PRO TIP WARNING: Please remember this forever to everyone that is reading this. Kissing someone who has herpes I (oral herpes) will get you the disease ONLY if one of the persons has an outbreak. SUPER IMPORTANT: this is something that many do not know unfortunately.. engaging in oral sex while having an outbreak of Herpes I will actually give you Herpes II (genital herpes) which is the bad kind. Youre ****ed if that happens.

You read that right.. so please be responsible. If someone has a simple cold sore, DO NOT let them eat you out or give you a blow job. There is an alarming chance that your body will procreate HSV-2 (genital herpes). Something so mindless thats not a big deal like cold sores, can give you hell.. life is strange.

Yeah you wait for the outbreak to pass but do you actually inform your partner that it's something you have?

I think so if the chance of you spreading it is so damn close. I don't care how badly you want to get laid.
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a shit load of people don't even show symptoms of herpes so you might be lucky

also if you have oral herpes it's extremely unlikely you'll ever contract genital herpes so at least you have that going for you
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Maybe you should go see a doctor, so you aren't battling yourself about this for the next few weeks or months. Just go get tested so you have a firm yes or no.
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Turtlebread posted...

a shit load of people don't even show symptoms of herpes so you might be lucky

also if you have oral herpes it's extremely unlikely you'll ever contract genital herpes so at least you have that going for you

What makes you say that
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It's not a big deal to have it, I guess a lot of people do these days? It would just suck a lot and it's always in the back of my mind every time I'm hooking up with a new girl.

You've got to deal with unsightly sores sometimes, and then if you're not a shit person any time you start seeing someone new you have to be all "By the way, I have herpes. Is that cool? Pretty sure I'm not contagious right now."

Like, if a girl told me that I sure as hell wouldn't stick around. Might be unfair to discriminate over something relatively "minor," but I don't want to take those chances.
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emblem boy posted...

Turtlebread posted...

a shit load of people don't even show symptoms of herpes so you might be lucky

also if you have oral herpes it's extremely unlikely you'll ever contract genital herpes so at least you have that going for you

What makes you say that

I read it on the internet once.
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Pics
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With an attitude like that TC, youll be lucky to another girl (cis or otherwise).
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Turtlebread posted...

emblem boy posted...

Turtlebread posted...

a shit load of people don't even show symptoms of herpes so you might be lucky

also if you have oral herpes it's extremely unlikely you'll ever contract genital herpes so at least you have that going for you

What makes you say that

I read it on the internet once.

I think it's if you have HSV 1 orally, you won't get HSV 1 genitally. It can only be in one spot.

You can totally still get HSV1 orally and 2 genitally
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emblem boy posted...

Turtlebread posted...

emblem boy posted...

Turtlebread posted...

a shit load of people don't even show symptoms of herpes so you might be lucky

also if you have oral herpes it's extremely unlikely you'll ever contract genital herpes so at least you have that going for you

What makes you say that

I read it on the internet once.

I think it's if you have HSV 1 orally, you won't get HSV 1 genitally. It can only be in one spot.

You can totally still get HSV1 orally and 2 genitally

i'll just go get both herpes in my mouth then
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Foxling posted...

I think what freaks me out the most is looking into this online and even in the discussion in this thread there's a split in the information. I'll keep my eyes peeled for symptoms over the next few weeks.

Of course there's conflicting information with online discussion about stds. I've studied its pathology, experimental treatments, and can link to studies for my claims.

The initial outbreak usually doesn't come quietly. Make it past 3-7 days and you're probably okay. Past 2 weeks and you're fine, blood test a bit after that to put your mind at ease.
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Always carry protection when you're gonna rat hole-to-rat hole someone.
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You didn't want her to give you an STD? YOU SIR ARE A BIGOT!!!! *sarcasm*
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A_Good_Boy posted...

Always carry protection when you're gonna rat hole-to-rat hole someone.

Speak English boy.
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Tagged TC as Herp a Derp
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