Current Events > Would you date a girl who is high-functioning autistic?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I don't know for sure, but this girl I'm kinda interested in has shown some signs of being autistic. They're not super obvious and it comes across more as quirky than socially unaware.

I kinda feel like I'd be taking advantage of her, but at the same time, she's honestly no lesser than me. I've simply never dated anyone like that. Closest would be social anxiety and that is much more of a pain to deal with.
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I know a couple high functioning autistic people, and yeah I would if I got along.

She would just have issues with social interaction, and I hate social interaction... so it would be a good fit.
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Like that one chick who spread peanut butter all over herself for autism awareness?

Yeah.
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There are hot girls out there who are on the spectrum. Anyone who says no is ignorant.
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Yes. No one is flawless.

My first reaction was no, but then I thought about my old best friend who has aspergers, and it's not really so bad. He commits social faux pas a lot, but he still always comes across as a kind person, and sometimes it was actually kind of cool how brazenly he would act about things most people would be bashful about
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I think I have it myself and wouldn't mind dating a woman who had it as well.
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Wetterdew posted...

My first reaction was no, but then I thought about my old best friend who has aspergers, and it's not really so bad. He commits social faux pas a lot, but he still always comes across as a kind person, and sometimes it was actually kind of cool how brazenly he would act about things most people would be bashful about

I've had a similar positive experience.

Would date, maybe not marry/have kids.
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Wetterdew posted...

My first reaction was no, but then I thought about my old best friend who has aspergers, and it's not really so bad. He commits social faux pas a lot, but he still always comes across as a kind person, and sometimes it was actually kind of cool how brazenly he would act about things most people would be bashful about

That's true, if they act like how they want and ignore some of the trivial social traditions, that would make for some fun.

This topic kinda quelled my apprehension
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I would if she's hot
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Trying to hear from the people voting No. I'm not gonna judge
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Blue_Dream87 posted...

They're not super obvious and it comes across more as quirky than socially unaware.

Are you sure then? Because autism is pretty obvious. If you're unsure after a long enough period of time to fall for someone, then they're probably not.

Yes? That's not an issue.
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

Blue_Dream87 posted...

They're not super obvious and it comes across more as quirky than socially unaware.

Are you sure then? Because autism is pretty obvious. If you're unsure after a long enough period of time to fall for someone, then they're probably not.

I have had very limited interaction with this person. I'm not even fallen, just surface level infatuation. But she's shown a few signs. Just wanted to reevaluate my beliefs before I dive in. Need confidence.
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I need a reference point.

Does she have a fat butt?
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Only if she has beautiful feet and meets the criteria in my sig.
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No but I'd date an autistic guy
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Fuck no.

Jk, but probably not. Im pretty quiet (not shy, just naturally reserved usually) so I usually like my SO to be more social and help me out in talking situations.
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Only if it's that girl who covered herself in peanut butter
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Fucking the mentally impaired is pretty twisted.

I think some people here don't really have a grasp on what autism would mean for a relationship. It's not just "not being very socially adept". You'll be dealing with someone who finds it hard to empathize with others. You can see where that impacts a close relationship built upon romance.

Probably not. My cousin is high functioning, and it's stressful to spend time with him after several hours. His dad has always been so exhausted. I don't think I could handle that in a long relationship.

TheGrindery posted...

Fucking the mentally impaired is pretty twisted.

I mean, is it impaired? She can still make rational decisions, her intelligence tales no hits. Would you say the same for social anxiety, or bipolar?
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I think some people here don't really have a grasp on what autism would mean for a relationship. It's not just "not being very socially adept". You'll be dealing with someone who finds it hard to empathize with others. You can see where that impacts a close relationship built upon romance.

True, not something I really considered.
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TheGrindery posted...

Fucking the mentally impaired is pretty twisted.

Girls on the spectrum need love and sex too.
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I think some people here don't really have a grasp on what autism would mean for a relationship. It's not just "not being very socially adept". You'll be dealing with someone who finds it hard to empathize with others. You can see where that impacts a close relationship built upon romance.

My best friend is on the spectrum and I've never felt like he had trouble empathizing with me. I'm sure this varies from person to person. Perhaps he does and I'm not aware of it. I don't know, but it hasn't gotten in the way of our friendship.

To answer the poll question, I've always been attracted to outgoing, sociable women but of course I'd give a girl with autism a chance.
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I would prefer that tbh. We'd get along fine if we were compatible since we'd have similar time/energy desires
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fire_bolt posted...

I would prefer that tbh. We'd get along fine if we were compatible since we'd have similar time/energy desires

What if she was extroverted?
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Probably not. There's aspergers girl I work with and her personality is so dry.
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Extroverted AND autistic? Is that even a thing?
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LethalAffinity posted...

Probably not. There's aspergers girl I work with and her personality is so dry.

Literally victim blaming.
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fire_bolt posted...

Extroverted AND autistic? Is that even a thing?

There's someone in my chemistry class who is. It's kind of a trip, I didn't know it was a thing but I mean it makes sense.
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I'd probably pass then. I have a few extrovert friends and they're so fucking DRAINING to be around for more than a few hours
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Thunder_Armor posted...

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I think some people here don't really have a grasp on what autism would mean for a relationship. It's not just "not being very socially adept". You'll be dealing with someone who finds it hard to empathize with others. You can see where that impacts a close relationship built upon romance.

My best friend is on the spectrum and I've never felt like he had trouble empathizing with me. I'm sure this varies from person to person. Perhaps he does and I'm not aware of it. I don't know, but it hasn't gotten in the way of our friendship.

To answer the poll question, I've always been attracted to outgoing, sociable women but of course I'd give a girl with autism a chance.

Well in friendships it's different. You're not getting as deeply intimate of a connection. In serious romantic relationships you generally want to avoid people with mental disorders because you become one with your partner and end up sharing any of their faults (and no I'm not saying you "catch" their disorder).

DrizztLink posted...

Like that one chick who spread peanut butter all over herself for autism awareness?

Yeah.

Wait, what?
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wow, there sure is a lot of severe misinformation in here
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Absolutely not.
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Are you kidding? I wish I could find a special someone on the spectrum. Kindred spirits and all that.
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I would and I have. There's literally nothing wrong with it.
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averagejoel posted...

wow, there sure is a lot of severe misinformation in here

Like?
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Uh, guys, the peanut butter girl was 15 in that video... gonna need you to back up.

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I think some people here don't really have a grasp on what autism would mean for a relationship. It's not just "not being very socially adept". You'll be dealing with someone who finds it hard to empathize with others. You can see where that impacts a close relationship built upon romance.

If you think they have a deficit of empathy you've never had close interactions with any. If anything they have so much empathy they feel overwhelmed and anxious about it. They're kind-hearted people.
Also, video game addiction is technically a mental disorder, so if you don't think people should date people with mental disorders, you're saying people shouldn't date anybody in this thread, because nobody would be here if it weren't for having an affinity for video games

Go for it OP, people who are very high on the spectrum and have that spark of self-awareness are good people who are often misunderstood and shunned just because they talk and act a little different than what people are used to. They develop a lot of empathy because they know what it's like to be mistreated by people for being an "other" and how bad it feels. More people on this website and the gaming community in general have Asperger's than you would think and I bet some of you don't even know you have it, and I'm not saying that as a negative thing.
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I forgot to add that they're often very used to not having reliable friends or much support, but not because they don't want those things. You could really do a lot for her just by being a trustworthy person in her life. Having faithful people in their life to care about and improve themselves for when they're used to being ignored and mocked can be a revolutionary act in their world, providing them an outside perspective on themselves is helpful because they can have difficulty with being objective about themselves. They often long for friendship but aren't used to actually having it, it can mean a lot more to them that you would be their friend or partner than it would for people who know how to play the social game backwards and forwards. People who are good at the social game are used to having friends and partners to the point where they take those things for granted. It's not something as meaningful to them than it is for a person on the spectrum.
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Phinsfan posted...

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I think some people here don't really have a grasp on what autism would mean for a relationship. It's not just "not being very socially adept". You'll be dealing with someone who finds it hard to empathize with others. You can see where that impacts a close relationship built upon romance.

If you think they have a deficit of empathy you've never had close interactions with any. If anything they have so much empathy they feel overwhelmed and anxious about it. They're kind-hearted people.
Also, video game addiction is technically a mental disorder, so if you don't think people should date people with mental disorders, you're saying people shouldn't date anybody in this thread, because nobody would be here if it weren't for having an affinity for video games

Go for it OP, people who are very high on the spectrum and have that spark of self-awareness are good people who are often misunderstood and shunned just because they talk and act a little different than what people are used to. They develop a lot of empathy because they know what it's like to be mistreated by people for being an "other" and how bad it feels. More people on this website and the gaming community in general have Asperger's than you would think and I bet some of you don't even know you have it, and I'm not saying that as a negative thing.

Could not have said it better myself.
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Phinsfan posted...

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I think some people here don't really have a grasp on what autism would mean for a relationship. It's not just "not being very socially adept". You'll be dealing with someone who finds it hard to empathize with others. You can see where that impacts a close relationship built upon romance.

If you think they have a deficit of empathy you've never had close interactions with any. If anything they have so much empathy they feel overwhelmed and anxious about it. They're kind-hearted people.
Also, video game addiction is technically a mental disorder, so if you don't think people should date people with mental disorders, you're saying people shouldn't date anybody in this thread, because nobody would be here if it weren't for having an affinity for video games

Go for it OP, people who are very high on the spectrum and have that spark of self-awareness are good people who are often misunderstood and shunned just because they talk and act a little different than what people are used to. They develop a lot of empathy because they know what it's like to be mistreated by people for being an "other" and how bad it feels. More people on this website and the gaming community in general have Asperger's than you would think and I bet some of you don't even know you have it, and I'm not saying that as a negative thing.

I don't think they ever included video game addiction in the DSM-V, last I know they were arguing over it and it's basically an adaptation of gambling addiction, which is also controversial.

You put things in a new perspective, and honestly I have no more apprehensions after your post. Thanks for all that. Think I'm gonna at least shoot for a friendship with this person. Now to practice my own shitty social skills.
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Blue_Dream87 posted...

averagejoel posted...

wow, there sure is a lot of severe misinformation in here

Like?

well for starters I'm not a fan of using "high-functioning" or "low-functioning" as labels - the latter is an excuse to deny people their independence, and the former is an excuse to deny people assistance they might need.

calling it "high-functioning autism" instead of "aspergers" is a step forward in that it acknowledges that they're not different things, but it would be better to just call it "autism" and work with the people as individuals.

the whole vocabulary surrounding autism-related issues is based on the experiences of the out-group: autistic people are labelled "high-functioning" because it's easy for neurotypicals to understand them, or "low-functioning" because it's difficult.

it's generally best to tread lightly in this area - there are a lot of sensitive points
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averagejoel posted...

well for starters I'm not a fan of using "high-functioning" or "low-functioning" as labels - the latter is an excuse to deny people their independence, and the former is an excuse to deny people assistance they might need.

Distinctions are necessary. Some people simply can't have their own independence