Poll of the Day > What am I supposed to do here?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I feel so incredibly guilty.

My great grandfather was moved into hospice care yesterday and we were told he had about a week to live. I planned on driving up (he lives about 500km away) with my grandparents tomorrow to visit him while I could. Just got a phone call... He's now completely unresponsive. Still alive, but can't interact with anyone in any way.

My grandparents told me not to bother going, since he won't know I'm there, and if he were to pass away while driving, I'd have just wasted my time... Now here's the kicker. I can't attend the funeral. I'm going back to Africa this Sunday for work. The process to get everything in place took like 4 months, and we'd basically have to start from scratch if I bailed (in short, my boss would be quite upset with me).

I'm not particularly close to my great grandfather - only saw him once a year or so. Sometimes not even that. But I feel horrible that I'm not seeing him or attending the funeral. My grandparents "feel horrible that I feel that way" and are telling me it's fine and that I shouldn't worry about it. But man.

What should I have done here? Is there even a correct answer?

Feelings are hard.
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You should still go, even if he dies en route - it's important to be there one last time
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I know you feel guilty but personally I would not attend the funeral or anything if you really could not make it or it would gum up the works. Your family should understand.

Maybe you can call him and tell him you love him one last time.
Even if he's not responsive it would be nice for him to hear that.
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My condolences man. Sorry to hear that your great-grandfather is in life support and unresponsive. Its a bummer to hear that youre not too happy to not be able to go to his funeral. However, bear in mind that Im sure he wouldnt want you to feel this way nor feel obligated to attend his funeral when itd be directly-impacting your career and future. As people age, most look at things with different perspectives and would probably want the best for their family and loved ones - not to be an inconvenience.

Take solace in knowing that youre fortunate to have known your great-grandfather, even if you only saw him maybe once a year. I didnt even know my great-grandparents...hell, I dont think they even survived that long to be around by the time of my birth.

I would say drive up and see 'em anyway if you can't attend the funeral. Do your goodbyes then.
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so sorry about your great-grandfather :(

but you should take the chance and go. would also try and explain to your boss what's going on/what happened, and that you might be needed for the funeral. your boss won't be thrilled, but i'd imagine there'd have to be some leeway for family issues
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Sorry to hear the sad news

I dont think you have anything to feel guilty about. Your great grandfather is passing on and the best thing you can do is just be the best person you can and treat your family members well so that the man leaves behind a positive legacy in the world.
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