Current Events > Is there an archive of all of Green Butter's stories?

(+) Yeah! (+)

It would be great to just sit down one night and indulge all the wonderful tales from amazing poster Green Butter (aka Romulox28) before I head to bed.
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Yes
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I have a custom script running on my PC that I commissioned a computer science student back in college to write, where it constantly refreshes GameFAQs to check the status of green butter's account. If the script detects the status has changed to "Warned" or "Suspended", it will send a text alert / email (in case I don't have my phone) and I can immediately react.

This evening was an evening like any other. I was hanging out at my crib (street vernacular for "house") with some of my friends and we were watching Wednesday Night Football (we tape Monday Night Football and watch it on Wednesday) and drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Let me tell you boys, we were are completely Hard (slang for drinking many Mike's Hard Lemonades) the entire time. I looked over at my buddy and I could see he had a Hard one right in the front of his pants! I thought that was funny because normally we put them on coasters on the table. I realized my own Mike's Hard was getting low and I said to my buddy "hey, can you toss me another Hard one?"

He informed me that we were all out and I'd have to get more Mike's Hards. I figured I could just have a swig of his and asked if I could put my mouth on his Hard one. He laughed, because we were both drunk and would normally never do this (because of germs; sharing a drink is disgusting), but eventually he gave in. I grabbed the smooth shaft of the bottle and just as I was about to put it in my mouth, my phone rang.

green butter was Suspended.

I howled. I let out a howl so loud and piercing that it woke up my son. I normally make him go to bed on Wednesday nights at 5:30pm partially because I don't want him to see me getting Hard with other men (the kid doesn't need to be exposed to heavy drinking at his age) and also because he's an annoying little shit and is usually asking questions about football, as if he were a nerd or something.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I kept refreshing the GameFAQs page, hoping that this was some kind of mistake. Maybe some moderator was intending to remove a post praising the KKK but had accidentally clicked on the innocent green butter link. Alas, this was not the case.

By this point, my friends were all visibly upset and I noticed they were trying to leave, even though we were only part of the way through the game. "No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was inconsolable. I began thrashing about, throwing my collection of decorative throwing knives all over the crib (apartment). One knife struck my Native American friend, Big Bear Jim, in the neck. Blood gashed from his open wound, staining the carpet a deep red and splashing the walls. A sickly iron scent loomed in the air as Death claimed Big Bear Jim.

My son knew he needed to act quick. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small crucifix. "Dad!" He yelled. "Remember how Christ died for your sins? Well, green butter did the same thing. He will live in our hearts forever, and hopefully in 180 days he will rise again from the depths of purgatory and post wonderful stories about eating for free in Olive Garden on CE again."

At that moment, I knew my son was right. My rage quelled. I tossed Big Bear Jim's corpse into the dumpster and put my son into the Punishment Closet, as he had broken one of my most important rules of the house (never make eye contact with me).

Anyway, I really just miss green butter and I think the mods should reconsider his suspension.
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green "wordsmith" butter
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Romulox28 posted...

I have a custom script running on my PC that I commissioned a computer science student back in college to write, where it constantly refreshes GameFAQs to check the status of green butter's account. If the script detects the status has changed to "Warned" or "Suspended", it will send a text alert / email (in case I don't have my phone) and I can immediately react.

This evening was an evening like any other. I was hanging out at my crib (street vernacular for "house") with some of my friends and we were watching Wednesday Night Football (we tape Monday Night Football and watch it on Wednesday) and drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Let me tell you boys, we were are completely Hard (slang for drinking many Mike's Hard Lemonades) the entire time. I looked over at my buddy and I could see he had a Hard one right in the front of his pants! I thought that was funny because normally we put them on coasters on the table. I realized my own Mike's Hard was getting low and I said to my buddy "hey, can you toss me another Hard one?"

He informed me that we were all out and I'd have to get more Mike's Hards. I figured I could just have a swig of his and asked if I could put my mouth on his Hard one. He laughed, because we were both drunk and would normally never do this (because of germs; sharing a drink is disgusting), but eventually he gave in. I grabbed the smooth shaft of the bottle and just as I was about to put it in my mouth, my phone rang.

green butter was Suspended.

I howled. I let out a howl so loud and piercing that it woke up my son. I normally make him go to bed on Wednesday nights at 5:30pm partially because I don't want him to see me getting Hard with other men (the kid doesn't need to be exposed to heavy drinking at his age) and also because he's an annoying little shit and is usually asking questions about football, as if he were a nerd or something.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I kept refreshing the GameFAQs page, hoping that this was some kind of mistake. Maybe some moderator was intending to remove a post praising the KKK but had accidentally clicked on the innocent green butter link. Alas, this was not the case.

By this point, my friends were all visibly upset and I noticed they were trying to leave, even though we were only part of the way through the game. "No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was inconsolable. I began thrashing about, throwing my collection of decorative throwing knives all over the crib (apartment). One knife struck my Native American friend, Big Bear Jim, in the neck. Blood gashed from his open wound, staining the carpet a deep red and splashing the walls. A sickly iron scent loomed in the air as Death claimed Big Bear Jim.

My son knew he needed to act quick. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small crucifix. "Dad!" He yelled. "Remember how Christ died for your sins? Well, green butter did the same thing. He will live in our hearts forever, and hopefully in 180 days he will rise again from the depths of purgatory and post wonderful stories about eating for free in Olive Garden on CE again."

At that moment, I knew my son was right. My rage quelled. I tossed Big Bear Jim's corpse into the dumpster and put my son into the Punishment Closet, as he had broken one of my most important rules of the house (never make eye contact with me).

Anyway, I really just miss green butter and I think the mods should reconsider his suspension.

Wow
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lol
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I still remember one of his stories on one of the 4th gen Pokemon boards. It involved a trainer who "caught" a Bidoof that was actually already dead, and he dragged it around with a leash as his new Pokemon friend, oblivious to the fact that the Bidoof was already dead.

It was one of the strangest things I've ever read, and I don't know why this one stuck with me all these years.
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Calwings posted...

I still remember one of his stories on one of the 4th gen Pokemon boards. It involved a trainer who "caught" a Bidoof that was actually already dead, and he dragged it around with a leash as his new Pokemon friend, oblivious to the fact that the Bidoof was already dead.

It was one of the strangest things I've ever read, and I don't know why this one stuck with me all these years.

i wrote that like 12 years ago and i still get the occasional PM or person asking me if i wrote that story, pretty crazy
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green "modded for laughing" butter
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SSJGrimReaper posted...

green "modded for laughing" butter

h************************
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Calwings posted...

I still remember one of his stories on one of the 4th gen Pokemon boards. It involved a trainer who "caught" a Bidoof that was actually already dead, and he dragged it around with a leash as his new Pokemon friend, oblivious to the fact that the Bidoof was already dead.

It was one of the strangest things I've ever read, and I don't know why this one stuck with me all these years.

The latest one I read aside from the one itt was the one with the iPhone that liquidated the protagonist's friend. I laughed out loud and I was in public getting looks from people.
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green butter is one of the few users I actually take notice of. There's a handful of names I remember and that is one.
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Romulox28 posted...

Calwings posted...

I still remember one of his stories on one of the 4th gen Pokemon boards. It involved a trainer who "caught" a Bidoof that was actually already dead, and he dragged it around with a leash as his new Pokemon friend, oblivious to the fact that the Bidoof was already dead.

It was one of the strangest things I've ever read, and I don't know why this one stuck with me all these years.

i wrote that like 12 years ago and i still get the occasional PM or person asking me if i wrote that story, pretty crazy

I created my main account in mid-2006, so that means your crazy Bidoof story was actually one of my first memories I have of using this site.
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Romulox28 posted...

At that moment, I knew my son was right. My rage quelled. I tossed Big Bear Jim's corpse into the dumpster and put my son into the Punishment Closet, as he had broken one of my most important rules of the house (never make eye contact with me)

This is my favourite part
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Pretty sure Dragonpick had a lot of them. RIP in peace
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Did people save stories about him being an amiibo collector?
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JustMyOpinion posted...

Pretty sure he saved one about me.

i havent saved any of them
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i love green butter

http://tobyshinobi.blogspot.com/
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Prestoff posted...

Did people save stories about him being an amiibo collector?

I think I've told a few people around here, but for those of you that don't know, my wife has been pregnant for a while now. The pregnancy was tough on her, but was even tougher on me, as her constant vomiting, weight gain, and general discomfort was a real drag. I found it hard to eat, sleep, watch anime (in its native Japanese language, and not with those stupid f***ing subtitles you gaijin use), and play video games. It was a rough 9 months.

Last night, as I was playing an intense quick match of Overwatch, my wife told me that she thought her water had broke, and that she needed to get to the hospital. I groaned and howled at her "YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS!" but after two more games, I relented, told her to get in the backseat of the Civic and drove her to the hospital (after stopping at Taco Bell for a quick Baha Blast).

When we got there, I told my wife that I would be in the delivery room with her because the hospital staff refused to allow me to hook my PS4 up to the waiting room TV. Now as many of you know, I am a huge Amiibo collector, so I decided that it was as good a time as any to pull out my vape and chase some big clouds.

As soon as I started vaping, however, a male nurse came up to me and starting giving me a problem. "Excuse me," he said. "You can't do that in here."

I was shocked. In all the years of my existence, I've never been vape-shamed before and did not know how to respond to such bigotry. I considered karate chopping this male nurse out of existence, as I knew that his parents were likely not proud of him for his career decisions, but I decided to fight him with logic and reason instead.

I took off my cowboy hat and looked the nurse straight in the eyes. "Are you aware that in Article 10 of the US Bill of Rights, it is stated that the powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution are reserved for the states." My wife started whining about pain or something and I threw my Baha Blast at her to shut her up. "Now, I don't know about you," I said to the nurse, "but I don't see any clause in the Constitution about vape laws. This is a state issue, and I am stating that I need to vape right now."

The male nurse got extremely angry and his face grew red. "I hate America!" He screamed. "And I hate freedom! I disagree with your strong, traditional values and I also believe that we should say Happy Holidays during the winter months so nobody feels left out."

-126 characters remaining
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At this moment, I knew what I had to do. I put back on my cowboy hat, tightened my bolo tie, and flipped the "Overdrive" switch on my vape. I then proceeded to rip the biggest, fattest cloud I had ever ripped. When I exhaled the vapor, it came out in the shape of a crucifix, and this divine cloud flew right into the face of the male nurse.

The male nurse screamed as the flesh melted off his face. He collapsed into a puddle of blood on the floor. The other nurses looked at me, shocked, as I continued to rip fat clouds. All of a sudden, I heard the faint sound of clapping, which then grew louder and louder. A woman emerged from the shadows who I knew as none other than Hilary "Rockin' Rodham" Clinton.

"Hello," HRRC said to me. "I was in this hospital delivery room ready to feast on the soul of your unborn child, but when I saw you bravely stand up for the US Constitution, I felt a change stir up in me," HRRC smiled. "It reminded me of why I became a Powerful White Woman in the first place. As your reward, I'd like to offer you a $100 Best Buy Gift Card and one wish of your choice."

I bowed. "Thank you, Rockin' Rodham," I said. "For my one wish, I wish that I had two $100 Best Buy Gift cards."

"It shall be done," said Hilary, and like that, she was gone.

Anyway, has anyone on CE ever been discriminated against?
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We need someone to post the Applebees and Xbox One ones
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bob742omb posted...

i love green butter

I love Green Butter more.
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You know, I wasn't expecting an actual archive, but holy shit, thank you @Romulox28 and @drunkmuggle
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lmao
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