Current Events > $7 billion, but you must live with an untamed magic lion.

(+) Yeah! (+)

The lion must live in a room that you have to pass through to exit the house each day. You cannot lock him in a cage or any other kind of confine (other than the room itself, of course). He is a real lion that does real lion things -- he must be fed and he pisses and shits. You'll have to clean up after him or the room will become a heaping pile of lion shit. His upkeep is your responsibility. You cannot hire someone to take care of him, nor can you pass the duty off to family, friends, enemies, or strangers.

The lion's magic powers - He has a permanent reflect spell cast on himself. If you tranquilize him, you sleep as long as he sleeps. If he is starving, this is considered your negligence and your stomach rumbles as well. Similarly, if he dies, you die. However, negative things that happen to him that are not your fault do not affect you in this way. If you do a good job taking care of him and he gets sick or dies, nothing happens to you.

His other magic power is there are 7 weeks each year that he will not require being taken care of. This is your vacation time. (A 10-figure job comes with 10-figure benefits, eh?)

The lion can never be tamed.

as long as the lion knows not to kill people unless i say so, i really don't care how well-behaved it is

so he''s always an asshole?

i could feed him and clean up after him i guess,
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Not unless it's pink
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Illuminoius posted...

as long as the lion knows not to kill people unless i say so, i really don't care how well-behaved it is

What? No. He is untamed and cannot understand any human language.

DarkChozoGhost posted...

Not unless it's pink

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So I have to deal with the very real possibility of being mauled every day?

And it's not like I can just get past him quickly since I gotta clean his room and shit.

So not worth it
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apolloooo posted...

DarkChozoGhost posted...

Not unless it's pink

Congrats. If your lion is pink, the "not tamed" rule becomes nullified and he becomes an intellectual, capable of cleaning up after himself and fluent in every human language ever created. He likes to play chess and video games, and has great taste in movies and books.

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

So I have to deal with the very real possibility of being mauled every day?

And it's not like I can just get past him quickly since I gotta clean his room and shit.

So not worth it

If you keep him well fed and distracted, his chances of attacking you should be very low.

No deal.
Untrainable means he mauls you to death day 1.
You won't live long enough to do anything.
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HiddenLurker posted...

No deal.
Untrainable means he mauls you to death day 1.
You won't live long enough to do anything.

If you keep him well fed and distracted, his chances of attacking you should be very low.

well with 7 bil i was thinking of just making the room he's in basically a habitat enclosure thingamajig where he's on the bottom and the walkway is above him.
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Ic3Bullet posted...

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

So I have to deal with the very real possibility of being mauled every day?

And it's not like I can just get past him quickly since I gotta clean his room and shit.

So not worth it

If you keep him well fed and distracted, his chances of attacking you should be very low.

Should being the operative word. You never know, even professional tamers like the guy in Siegfried and Roy get attacked sometimes, and that's with tamed cats.

I'm not gonna take my chances as a guy with no big cat skills being around an untamable lion, lol
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Okay so if magic exists, I just find someone to disenchant the fucker then it's off to a big cat retreat or something.

You didn't say that we couldn't remove its magic

:P
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DocileOrangeCup posted...

well with 7 bil i was thinking of just making the room he's in basically a habitat enclosure thingamajig where he's on the bottom and the walkway is above him.

I guess I could let that slide.

El Marsh posted...

Okay so if magic exists, I just find someone to disenchant the fucker then it's off to a big cat retreat or something.

You didn't say that we couldn't remove its magic

:P

Negative.

What do you mean negative?

You can't just make new rules.
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El Marsh posted...

What do you mean negative?

You can't just make new rules.

Neither can you. Who says there are disenchanters running around?

So the lion isnt magical, youre just like.....soul linked or destiny bonded or whatever?

But its easy money after I buy a bitchin mech suit to deal with the lion stuff. Maybe slap his stupid ass around for being learning disabled.

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

So the lion isnt magical, youre just like.....soul linked or destiny bonded or whatever?

Not exactly because bad things only happen to you if something bad that happens to the lion is your fault.

Jerry_Hellyeah posted...

But its easy money after I buy a bitchin mech suit to deal with the lion stuff. Maybe slap his stupid ass around for being learning disabled.

You can buy a suit to protect you from him, but any pain you cause him will be inflicted on you as well.

Ic3Bullet posted...

El Marsh posted...

What do you mean negative?

You can't just make new rules.

Neither can you. Who says there are disenchanters running around?

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with 7 billions. a special machine that can take care of the lion will be enough. and then make an invincible suit like iron-man so he'll never be able to sink his fang on my soft human flesh.
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Ic3Bullet posted...

apolloooo posted...

DarkChozoGhost posted...

Not unless it's pink

Congrats. If your lion is pink, the "not tamed" rule becomes nullified and he becomes an intellectual, capable of cleaning up after himself and fluent in every human language ever created. He likes to play chess and video games, and has great taste in movies and books.

Oh hell yeah
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