Board 8 > "so what are you?"

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MysticBrohan posted...

Punnyz posted...

MysticBrohan posted...

"No you're not"

I haven't read a single post of this topic but I just wanted to comment that they ALWAYS say this

its like

why the fuck did you ask if you're not gonna believe me

god its so infuriating

It's like some super meta thing where the person realizes you probably get asked that all the time, enough to where they assume you probably give people a joke answer just to see if they'll believe you, and yet they somehow still lack the awareness to realize not to approach the conversation in that way themselves.

Or I could be totally off, but that's my two cents.
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Punnyz posted...

MysticBrohan posted...

"No you're not"

I haven't read a single post of this topic but I just wanted to comment that they ALWAYS say this

its like

why the fuck did you ask if you're not gonna believe me

I get this all the time because I'm half and... well I look a lot more like one half than the other. It never bothered me though, but tht's probably because I make stuff up all the time just to see reactions so I deserve to be questioned >_>
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Joelypoely posted...

Responding to your original question, I'm probably guilty of what you're talking about (usually "where are you from?" early into the conversation) but I never thought it was rude or anything assuming they can also ask me questions about where I'm from. For whatever reason when I'm travelling I find it really interesting keeping a mental note of the demographics of people I come across etc. E.g. When I visited Australia two months ago something like 40% of people I came across in hostels were German! In comparison I'm a New Zealander and met only 4 other New Zealanders during my time there. That amazes me. It's also interesting learning about the similarities and differences across languages and cultures, not in a stereotyping or malicious way.

That's not rude because you're asking it in a bit of a different context. When you're traveling and talking to other travelers, I can't see many people being bothered by asking where they're from. You're also asking where the person is from, not their ancestry. That never bothers me, I'll happily say I'm from the US (assuming I'm out of the country) or California (if I'm in the US), or near LA (if I'm in California).

The problem is when I'm home or when people don't accept a response of the US/California/LA for where I'm from, prodding into my ancestry. My favorite is when they reject those answers and pester me to say something else, then when I ask them what they are (as they're now fair game after bugging me) they just say "I'm American" and I'm supposed to just accept it.
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Zachnorn posted...

The problem is when I'm home or when people don't accept a response of the US/California/LA for where I'm from, prodding into my ancestry. My favorite is when they reject those answers and pester me to say something else, then when I ask them what they are (as they're now fair game after bugging me) they just say "I'm American" and I'm supposed to just accept it.

Ah that sounds like a huge pain to deal with. I'm guessing they notice something about your appearance which for whatever reason compels them to ask you about it. I've never been to the US but from what I've heard the population of California includes many diverse ethnic backgrounds so it seems surprising people would even bother questioning it.
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I think people are naturally curious about someone/thing that seems unique to them
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but when someones gender or sex is ambiguous, people almost never approach them and ask for clarification, ESPECIALLY not with a question like what are you?

jcgamer107 posted...

I think people are naturally curious about someone/thing that seems unique to them

Yep.

It's an unfortunate circumstance that a lot of white Americans grow up only knowing mostly white people, raised by adults who ever knew mostly white people, so to them it seems perfectly natural to observe that someone is obviously different from them based on physical appearance.

"Why shouldn't I ask them these questions? They're obviously different, which must be obvious to them as much as it is to me.

In what way could this be offensive? Surely they understand just how much I'm used to not seeing them. Perfectly natural conversation starter."

It's also unfortunate that when these people make a fool of themselves in certain situations, they don't actually gain the perspective of their ignorance, because the person on the other end of the question is usually thoroughly unconcerned with assisting them in reaching that understanding. (Even in situations when they think they're helping, they really arent, which is a whole 'nother story similar to the one I just told.)
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bng_mmmk posted...

It's an unfortunate circumstance that a lot of white Americans grow up only knowing mostly white people, raised by adults who ever knew mostly white people, so to them it seems perfectly natural to observe that someone is obviously different from them based on physical appearance

There are many countries where this is true to their own race.

Even areas in America that are not white.
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LOLIAmAnAlt posted...

bng_mmmk posted...

It's an unfortunate circumstance that a lot of white Americans grow up only knowing mostly white people, raised by adults who ever knew mostly white people, so to them it seems perfectly natural to observe that someone is obviously different from them based on physical appearance

There are many countries where this is true to their own race.

Even areas in America that are not white.

Without a doubt. Just speaking about what I know.

By that I mean what I've experienced and seen for myself. It makes sense that the same principle would apply around the globe regardless.
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MysticBrohan posted...

but when someones gender or sex is ambiguous, people almost never approach them and ask for clarification, ESPECIALLY not with a question like what are you?

I think that its because its far more understood that if someones gender or sex is ambiguous they are more likely to be hyper sensitive.

Its still a burning question in our minds!
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I've always lived in highly diverse areas so I don't think I ever got the whole "omg a non-white person" curious stare (though I do want to visit Asia or somewhere where this would happen)

It really is just an annoying conversation starter
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one time, on family vacation, we stopped at a random small-town fast food place for lunch.

there was this kid, maybe four years old, staring at us. "Dad!" he said. "Chinese people!!"

the dad was super embarrassed and came to apologize to us. apparently the kid really likes Jackie Chan movies and thinks all Chinese people are martial artists and such

I was flattered tbh
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foolm0r0n posted...

I've always lived in highly diverse areas so I don't think I ever got the whole "omg a non-white person" curious stare (though I do want to visit Asia or somewhere where this would happen)

It really is just an annoying conversation starter

Very similar experience here too. Never thought of asking someone where they're from unless they have a strong accent I can't place.
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This conversation usually stops when I bring up my Sicilian heritage.
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Llarian posted...

This conversation usually stops when I bring up my Sicilian heritage.

What, is death usually on the line?
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Llarian posted...

This conversation usually stops when I bring up my Sicilian heritage.

I'd start by saying I eat spaghetti on toast
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