Poll of the Day > how do I get over post-social anxiety?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've managed to suppress a lot of social anxiety I used to have over meeting and talking to new people and stuff. I actually enjoy meeting new people now, and getting drinks, and having conversations. But the real anxiety hours set in when I get home after a social event and I start intensely ruminating over everything I said and did. I'm significantly losing sleep due to being more social, and it's taking effect on my appetite too. I think it's "worth it so far" but then again I feel the same way about drinking and I think that may be empirically wrong.

Anyway, basically BlogFAQs. Sorry. But I know a lot of people on this board obviously have dealt with social anxiety or are dealing with it so some input would be great.
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Fuck.
Bitches

Get money

green dragon posted...

Fuck.
Bitches

Get money

I'm not doing either of these things right now so that may be more constructive than you intended
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I have what seems to be GAD and have for over a couple of year now. I too obsess over things. For a while I had sleepless nights but that seems to have improved. I've no issue being social or anything like that.

I also write a sort of blog on a word document. I don't feel the need to post it online but it's a 'safe space' for me to put down my thoughts and feelings about my day, what bothered me and so on. I feel this helps me get things out of my mind plus I can look back and see my thought process and problems in my life more clearly. Perhaps doing something like that would help you rather than keeping it all bottled up.
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Sometimes it helps to think about how much you think about what other people said and did. Its probably not as much you think about your own actions. That is how much other people are reading into you.

Also, if you arent going to see those people anymore they basically dont exist.
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Just think "everyone liked me at the end of the night, so nothing else matters."
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wwinterj25 posted...

I also write a sort of blog on a word document. I don't feel the need to post it online but it's a 'safe space' for me to put down my thoughts and feelings about my day, what bothered me and so on. I feel this helps me get things out of my mind plus I can look back and see my thought process and problems in my life more clearly. Perhaps doing something like that would help you rather than keeping it all bottled up.

Thanks, that is actually a good idea. I mean, it's sort of what I'm doing right now on this website but I can definitely see it being more helpful cause I could get more out of my system.

DrPrimemaster posted...

Sometimes it helps to think about how much you think about what other people said and did.

Actually I meant to include that in the OP. I think about that just as often and it's maybe an even bigger source of anxiety for me. Thanks anyway.

DrPrimemaster posted...

Also, if you arent going to see those people anymore they basically dont exist.

Hopefully I will see them again. That's the thing... I've come to see relationships as very volatile and I really worry that, you know, some of these people I've come to like, maybe they don't contact me again, maybe I won't see them anymore.
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I got rid of my anxiety and sudden bad memories by repeating quotes in my head when the bad thoughts came. like 'bad thoughts aren't true, I did fine' over and over again. I know the anxiety isn't real, that I can cope so I just kinda push it out and it makes me feel good. like taking an emotional poop
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Try to look at things from their perspective. At some point you realize that everyone thinks like that and is scared about how others perceive them. If you can look at things from that angle it should help alleviate the stress that comes with that line of thinking.
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Try judging other people's mistakes instead of your own.
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I'm sort of in the same situation, where I'm over-extending more and more, which leads to stronger and stronger reactions afterward.

I think the solution, though it has not yet worked for me, is to manually interrupt automatic negative thinking. just practice replacing the automatic negative thoughts with positive thoughts. do it enough times and you start to reprogram yourself.

I've done similar things before and it has worked, but that specifically I have not yet managed to do, so I can't be sure it works, but it "should".
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I could give up all my anxiety if I wasn't so afraid of being ignorant.

Maybe ignorance isn't as bad as you think it is. What have you got to be afraid of? At the end of the day life hasn't held up it's end of the bargain, so why the fuck should you.

If that even makes any sense.

Yellow posted...

I could give up all my anxiety if I wasn't so afraid of being ignorant.

So why not actually learn things? Then you won't be ignorant.

Yellow posted...

Maybe ignorance isn't as bad as you think it is.

Oh.
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last night I was able to mentally picture a STOP sign and it was quite helpful. I recalled learning this in my high school days when I was dealing with racing thoughts very often. after that I could inject better thoughts into the thoughtstream. Slept pretty well for the first night in a week. Of course there will be more challenges to come but I do feel a little more well equipped to deal with them now.
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it helped me to realize that no one at a party was thinking about my words or actions the way i was--they're going home and thinking about what they said and how they came off. If they think about any of it.

Everyone is so tied up in their own shit that unless you did some huge obvious faux pas, no one really cares.
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acesxhigh posted...

. I actually enjoy meeting new people now, and getting drinks, and having conversations. But the real anxiety hours set in when I get home after a social event and I start intensely ruminating over everything I said and did

r u me?
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acesxhigh posted...

mentally picture a STOP sign

that sounds like a good idea. in the past I've spoken aloud the phrase 'there is no such person' to erase someone from my mind, which ended up working surprisingly well. that sounds like it could be a more generalized solution to unwanted thoughts.
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