Current Events > Was I a jerk for "Setting the bar too high" for another guy?

(+) Yeah! (+)

2 weeks ago I talked with a girl while i was downtown getting something fixed. Since i had to wait 2 hours, i decided to dick around the area and ended up talking to an architecture student who was sitting around after buying some stuff/material.

Thing is she had a boyfriend (He wasnt there tho) and im also dating a girl right now (She wasnt there either too) so we were just having a convo, not really with plans or hooking up or stuff like that. After some minutes i suggested grabbing something to eat and she seemed ok with the idea.

I suggested going to a place i really liked and after pointing at it she seemed really surprised like "Wow really? i always wanted to go there!". Turn out the place he went to noticeably fancier (nothing absurdly expensive tho). She was really excited out there the whole time.

At one moment she asked me if i took my girlfriend to places like this all the time, to which i replied "That depends, we usually grab a bit at a more casual place on a normal day, but yeah, you can say i like treating us both to places like this maybe 2 or 3 times a month". She said "Wow she is really lucky, i wish i could come places like this, being a college student is harsh both for me and my boyfriend sometimes so a place like this would be out of question".

Food was over, i had to pick what i was getting fixed so we talked for a little bit more and parted our ways. We exchanged numbers just in case and right before leaving i told her in a sarcastic way "Guess your boyfriend's gonna have a hard time matching this dinner, huh?". She giggled and left.

2 nights ago she texted me and while we were doing so for a bit, she told me she was a bit upset. Turns out the night before the night she texted, it was the 4-month anniversary with her boyfriend and she told me he invited her to his place and they had a modest dinner, then she told she remembered the words i told her before we parted our ways and that actually got her a bit upset with him. From what she told me, she ended up arguing a bit with his boyfriend about "expecting something better this time" rather than a modest dinner, despite the guy's effort.

In short words, i gave that girl something in 1 hour that his boyfriend couldnt in 4 months, and the funny part is that i wasnt even interested in the girl besides talking for a bit since i also had a girlfriend. I havent talked to her since that day but the last thing i knew is that she was indeed upset with him because of me.

I was honestly sarcastic when i said "Guess your boyfriend's gonna have a hard time matching this dinner, huh?" and didnt really mean for her to take it seriously. Was i a jerk for doing this? I dont even know the guy, yet i kinda poisoned their relationship somehow.

And for those wondering.. i graduated from college plenty of years ago so i do fine these days. Its not that i wanted to impress the girl or anything when i took her to that place, it was just a coincidencial thing (My gf was out of town for the weekend and i didnt want to go alone, i would have gone with her otherwise).
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Yes, you were a jerk.

That post sounds like one long-ass humble brag. Plus, you cockblocked a dude for a girl you admit you are not even interested in. You could have given her a different perspective by explaining thqt he might not have the means to treat his girlfriend out, but it could be something he is working towards and will eventually do. But no, you just had to joke about this current flaw in their relationship. Btw, what the fuck is she doing to show how much she appreciates her boyfriend? You know, other than going out with other guys who already have girlfriends.
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I'm definitely not reading all of that
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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Yes, you were a jerk.

That post sounds like one long-ass humble brag

this, nuff said.
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ArtVandelay posted...

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Yes, you were a jerk.

That post sounds like one long-ass humble brag

this, nuff said.

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you set the bar too high by not paraphrasing something that easily could have been
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Nah, youre fine.

Not your fault hes a shit boyfriend
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she fucking expects an anniversary every MONTH? and a dating/meeting anniversary at that. you helped a homie dodge a bullet there more than anything else.
it's a four month anniversary, she got a dinner, he put in effort for such a trivial occasion. she should be happy. a one year anniversary is different.
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thronedfire2 posted...

I'm definitely not reading all of that

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Sounds like she's ungrateful, she even knows they're in college and can't do nice dinners lol
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