Current Events > Looks like I have to cut a girl-friend out of my life

(+) Yeah! (+)

I liked her, couldn't do anything about it cause she wasn't available, she became available, I asked her out and/or hook up, she said no to the first and a hesitant no to the second (despite her admitting she liked me), she became extremely flirty with me since then on (aka playing me), I've tried to get over her but I can't, I try to create distance but she always reaches out, thought she was moving so I kept up a facade friendship just until she moved away, turns out she's not moving away anymore.

She hit me up, and I think I'm just gonna have to confront her and tell her I can't hang with her anymore. We've been friends for like 2 years, and it fucks with my brain and self esteem a lot whenever we hang out. I'm way happier when I don't see her for a while, so I see no point in maintaining a friendship with someone where they indirectly fuck with my esteem. It's a shame cause I like the company but yeah, I can't get over her.

Also it's not even just the fact that she's a girl, because I have other friends that are girls, and while I'd fuck each one of them, I don't like them like I do this one.
---

bump
---

RedWhiteBlue posted...

Seems obvious. He likes her, she shows signs of liking him but doesn't want to date him, he doesn't want to struggle mentally, he wants to cut her off unless she stops acting like she's 12.

I honestly appreciate your common sense in context of the post you quoted.
---

last bump
---

shockthemonkey posted...

You shouldn't maintain unhealthy friendships but I can't exactly figure out why this is bothering you so much. Can you explain why being friends with her isn't enjoyable?

Because she's doing what some girls tend to do when they want to have options available/feel like they're in control. String men along.

Ditch her and move on with your life. If she really wants you she will stop fucking with your mind. Chances are she knows what she's doing. If you're happier without her, then go right for it and obtain happiness somewhere else dude.
---

You don't enjoy the friend BJs?
---

Are you sure she didn't change her mind and decided to want to fuck you?
---

Sativa_Rose posted...

Are you sure she didn't change her mind and decided to want to fuck you?

The thing is, even if she wanted to and made signs and stuff, I'd feel like a super creep trying to initiate something when she gave me a clear no. And if she's the kind of girl that needs a man to push past all her BS resistance, then I'm not that kind of guy.

Also, in her moments of flirtiness, like grabbing my hand, or snuggling up against me, and sometimes I initiate like locking arms or whatever, she's always the one to pull away first. I mean, maybe it actually means nothing, but to me, if she really wanted to, she wouldn't pull away, but she just does. Maybe she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't like me, but like I said, even if I'm getting good signals, I'm not the kind of guy to force a move on someone that gave me a clear no. It just feels too dishonorable, idk.
---

Sativa_Rose posted...

Are you sure she didn't change her mind and decided to want to fuck you?

I'm actually dealing with this right now. When I was 16 (23 now) I got into a little fling with this girl who later would become my "best friend" and I still love her to this day. (She took my virginity so that helps influence it) a couple years ago she got into a relationship with a straight piece of shit. The dude would do all sorts of abusive thing. Well whenever she finally gets the courage to leave she calls me and we hang out and have the best times,

She'll throw out comments like "if we aren't doing anything at 30 we're getting married" and legitimately throw out I love yous. Hold my hand etc. well I know not to get to comfortable because she always goes back. No matter all the signs and formulas and explanations on how this dude is nothing but a massive waste of air she still ends up going back. I've learned to just say fuck it now and if it'll work it'll show up later. I don't talk to her much at all and don't really care to. Just wish her the best from afar. It's probably best he does the same.
---

If the issue is that you think she's playing you, just tell her that. If it doesn't change them end the friendship
---

I hate when people do what that girl is doing to you. I'm sorry you're losing your friendship, TC, but I'm glad you have the presence of mind to know what's healthier for you.
---

shockthemonkey posted...

RedWhiteBlue posted...

shockthemonkey posted...

You shouldn't maintain unhealthy friendships but I can't exactly figure out why this is bothering you so much. Can you explain why being friends with her isn't enjoyable?

Seems obvious. He likes her, she shows signs of liking him but doesn't want to date him, he doesn't want to struggle mentally, he wants to cut her off unless she stops acting like she's 12.

I don't understand why it's a mental struggle though. I'm not trying to be a dick but like what is so hard about "my cute friend sometimes flirts with me because it's fun?" I hear it a lot but I don't understand the mental anguish that goes with it. I've had female friends that do that and I've always just written it off as part of their personality, and if I liked their personality enough to become friends with them anyway then that's never made sense as a deal breaker for a friendship.

I also understand that I'm the outlier here who isn't understanding everyone else's problem, so I'm the dumb one in this situation and I know it.

The thing is, from what TC says, she started doing the whole flirting thing after he told her he liked her
---

emblem boy posted...

The thing is, from what TC says, she started doing the whole flirting thing after he told her he liked her

She's done flirty stuff beforehand, and while it was confusing for me, I assumed that was just her personality or whatever. After that though, she definitely ramped it up to where I'm like, okay this is definitely something that normal friends don't do together.
---