Current Events > Best friend cheats on his long time girl/guy, he confides in you, still friends?

(+) Yeah! (+)

The girl is not your "friend", as in you didn't know her before he started dating her.

Trying to gauge how people view external cheating in other people's relationship.
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yeah. its not like he murdered or raped someone
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He's my best friend bro. I'd assist him if he asked me too. As in lie to his girl or w/e.
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No judgments, just asking.
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I can't support those who treat the people closest to them horribly.

I document everythingen show the girl when I have enough evidence.
I also inform the girl he's cheating with

2/2 in topic, 5/0 in poll. :O
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prob depends on how close you are to the girl
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yeah

i'd try to convince him/her to fess up soon or else i'll do it for them (but with a really lenient time frame )
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I've dropped friends for far lesser offenses. I don't have the time or patience to deal with shitty people.
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yea, it wouldn't really be my business.
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It depends if I'm friends with the girl. I know you said that I didn't know her before, but that has nothing to do with whether we're friends or not.
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Yes. Probably walk with him through the situation closely until shit hit the fan (like it always does). Because you can tell someone what not to do, but when the pussy is on the table it's hard to make smart decisions. So I will be there to assist my friend.

Especially since I'm not friends with the girl. Then I'm not really regretting anything.
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Would remain friends and not tell anyone, but if someone else knows and confronts my friend about it, I'll remain neutral and not say anything.
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They're adults, they can handle their own shit. I'm not babysitting them.
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_Near_ posted...

It depends if I'm friends with the girl. I know you said that I didn't know her before, but that has nothing to do with whether we're friends or not.

Yea, I put that in there because if my friendship with the girl is separate from my friendship with the guy, then I will tell her immediately and he won't be my friend anymore. But if I know her through him, even if I think she's cool, I'd think about it.
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Calwings posted...

Would remain friends and not tell anyone, but if someone else knows and confronts my friend about it, I'll remain neutral and not say anything.

You wouldn't stick up for your BEST friend? What sort of bystander friend are you?
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As long he didn't cheat on her with my girlfriend, why should I care?
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EpicMickeyDrew posted...

Calwings posted...

Would remain friends and not tell anyone, but if someone else knows and confronts my friend about it, I'll remain neutral and not say anything.

You wouldn't stick up for your friend? What sort of bystander friend are you?

There's a relatively good argument. If someone cheated on you, you'd probably have a very bad opinion of their character. Thus if your friend cheats on someone, logically, the same thing would apply. You can allow your bias to override this of course, but it makes perfect sense to hold him to the same standards you hold everyone.
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AdviceMan posted...

The girl is not your "friend", as in you didn't know her before he started dating her.

who cares then, but don't let him around your girl
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I know a dude who is more of a friend of a friend than a direct friend, but he's cool with me. He's married and has 2 kids by his wife (one is an adolescent, the other is probably like 4 or 5 or something). He's been cheating on his wife forever with any women he feels like. His primary girl on the side I also know and also consider a friend of a friend but she's a nice person and knew what she was getting into. She had a kid by him a year or two ago, so he's balancing that. Wife doesn't know. I don't live near any of them (including the friends I know them through), but when I go out that way and he is with the girl on the side or some other random chick at some party we all go to, the story is that he crashes wherever I crash (almost always with the main friend I know all of them through) and I'm just sort of expected by default to confirm the story in the event I'm asked, which has never happened, but I'd do because it's none of my business and I don't give a fuck.
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AdviceMan posted...

EpicMickeyDrew posted...

Calwings posted...

Would remain friends and not tell anyone, but if someone else knows and confronts my friend about it, I'll remain neutral and not say anything.

You wouldn't stick up for your friend? What sort of bystander friend are you?

There's a relatively good argument. If someone cheated on you, you'd probably have a very bad opinion of their character. Thus if your friend cheats on someone, logically, the same thing would apply. You can allow your bias to override this of course, but it makes perfect sense to hold him to the same standards you hold everyone.

I see your point TC, but i feel you are underplaying the "best" friend part of the equation. Whilst I would have a bad opinion of someone's character who cheated on me. I also have a very good opinion of my best friend's character, hence them being my best friend. Ultimately he didn't do anything to disrespect/harm/negatively affect me, and I'm not about to disown them due to 'it being the right thing to do', or some form of 'justice'. The point of a best friend is that you can count on and trust them.
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I would want the friend to tell me if I was in this situation, but I'd definitely advise my friend to put things right and do right by their SO.
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EpicMickeyDrew posted...

AdviceMan posted...

EpicMickeyDrew posted...

Calwings posted...

Would remain friends and not tell anyone, but if someone else knows and confronts my friend about it, I'll remain neutral and not say anything.

You wouldn't stick up for your friend? What sort of bystander friend are you?

There's a relatively good argument. If someone cheated on you, you'd probably have a very bad opinion of their character. Thus if your friend cheats on someone, logically, the same thing would apply. You can allow your bias to override this of course, but it makes perfect sense to hold him to the same standards you hold everyone.

I see your point TC, but i feel you are underplaying the "best" friend part of the equation. Whilst I would have a bad opinion of someone's character who cheated on me. I also have a very good opinion of my best friend's character, hence them being my best friend. Ultimately he didn't do anything to disrespect/harm/negatively affect me, and I'm not about to disown them due to 'it being the right thing to do', or some form of 'justice'. The point of a best friend is that you can count on and trust them.

Like I said, no judgment. Just arguing both sides. I voted yes to be honest. It would take something particularly callous for me to hold it against my best friend.
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Honestly couldn't care less. If the chick was a best friend or something then it might be different but other than that, nah I wouldn't care. What people choose to do is their own shit and I'll let them deal with it.
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if my friend confided it in me, I'd still be friends with them, but if their s/o asked me if they cheated, I'd tell the truth
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GOATSLAYER posted...

As long he didn't cheat on her with my girlfriend, why should I care?

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averagejoel posted...

if my friend confided it in me, I'd still be friends with them, but if their s/o asked me if they cheated, I'd tell the truth

Some friend you are.
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ClockworkHare posted...

They're adults, they can handle their own shit. I'm not babysitting them.

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As they say......Bros before[Beep Bop this part is gone Bop Beep]
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of course. I would tell him he's in the wrong but I'm not gonna cut him out of my life over something that doesn't really effect me.
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AdviceMan posted...

_Near_ posted...

It depends if I'm friends with the girl. I know you said that I didn't know her before, but that has nothing to do with whether we're friends or not.

Yea, I put that in there because if my friendship with the girl is separate from my friendship with the guy, then I will tell her immediately and he won't be my friend anymore. But if I know her through him, even if I think she's cool, I'd think about it.

Yeah it really just depends on whether I got close with the girl. I've become better friends with people's girlfriends than the original friendship I had with the dude. However, I've also had friends' girlfriends who I've never built friendships with. Cheating is bad regardless of this, but my relationship with the girl will dictate my actions.
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Lol at anyone saying no
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EpicMickeyDrew posted...

averagejoel posted...

if my friend confided it in me, I'd still be friends with them, but if their s/o asked me if they cheated, I'd tell the truth

Some friend you are.

my morals > friend's relationship that they probably don't care about
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averagejoel posted...

EpicMickeyDrew posted...

averagejoel posted...

if my friend confided it in me, I'd still be friends with them, but if their s/o asked me if they cheated, I'd tell the truth

Some friend you are.

my morals > relationship with my friend that I don't care about

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ftfy
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EpicMickeyDrew posted...

averagejoel posted...

EpicMickeyDrew posted...

averagejoel posted...

if my friend confided it in me, I'd still be friends with them, but if their s/o asked me if they cheated, I'd tell the truth

Some friend you are.

my morals > relationship with my friend that I don't care about

2/10
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Are people saying that you're not truly besties with people unless you're willing to lie to innocent people and stick up for them even when they're blatantly in the wrong? What do you even do to defend them in that situation? They're guilty as charged, if their significant other calls them a snake in front of me, am I supposed to say they're not? Am I supposed to lie to someone's face for them?
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Hard for me to say

My best friend has been dating his gf for the past 10 years. I've known her about as long as he has (obviously he met her then introduced me), she's like a sister to me.

If he cheated on her, I'd probably be devastated. My friendship with him would probably take a hit.

However I wouldn't tell her. I'd encourage strongly for him to come clean though.



Now if it's a hypothetical situation where I barely know the girl and aren't great friends with her, then nah I wouldn't tell, and my reaction would be some minor finger wagging and a couple playful "scumbag" comments tossed his way.

I've cheated on SO's before so I'm hardly in a position to be throwing stones.
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Yeah. His relationship isn't my business.

If he finds himself in hot water over it I'm not gonna try and save his relationship though.
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