Current Events > CE Creative Writing Challenge | Write a short story that's <500 Characters.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Post a compelling short story in less than 500 characters. It has to fit inside a single GameFAQs post and it must be purely fictional. No anecdotes.

I'll start with what I imagine amounts to the 15 minute breaks of the majority of the posters here.

Mantis’s stubby fingers laced tightly around the freshly baked prize that was soon to be a part of him. He was fond of pretzels… and hot dogs. Hot dogs had been a staple of his diet for as far back as he could remember. And after two grueling hours working the floor, he was ready to treat himself. “A pretzel-dog in utter solitude. Aristippus would be proud,” he thought to himself.

A pleasant heat warmed his hands as it radiated through the wrapper. He found this feeling most agreeable, and thus sat there for several minutes rolling his treasure back and forth between his clammy palms, reveling in its cavalcade of sensations. Finally he reached his breaking point, for this powerful pent-up hunger could be stymied no longer. Dispensing with foreplay, Mantis gave way to his passions.

Alas, just as he had prepared his body for rapture, a jarring knock echoed from the door throughout the room and into his psyche, expunging his soul from incorporeal bliss and back into the toilet of reality. From the other side he heard, “Does y’all mind hurrying it up in there? My kid gots to use the bathroom.”

Recent late-night readings of Lovecraft and Poe must have taken their toll on his poor nerves, for the sudden booming of that disembodied voice brought him dangerously close to fumbling the object of his affection. This near brush with tragedy, coupled with the disappointment he felt from being deprived spiritual and masticatory climax, brought his blood to a rolling boil.

“Ma’am, I do believe that this is but one of several lavatories contained within this facility. Please take your child and disperse to one less occupied,” he growled.
“This the only family bathroom. ‘Sides, you been in there long enough!”

Mantis’s face took on the hue of a ripe tomato. This was his fifteen-minute break, a sacred time which he cherished with all his heart. He had earned it, and now it was ruined. He got up off his seat and whipped his snack disdainfully into the bowl, causing a splash of blue-tinged water to spill out onto the seat and floor. “If I’m not going to be given enough time to enjoy it, it may as well go in the toilet,” he blustered. It wasn’t long before his red-hot rage gave way to sullen depression, as he came to regret this course of action almost immediately. After all, he was really looking forward to eating that thing.

sorry, but that reads like a high school creative writing assignment done by someone who thinks that using a thesaurus makes them sound smart
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I like turtles.
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averagejoel posted...

sorry, but that reads like a high school creative writing assignment done by someone who thinks that using a thesaurus makes them sound smart

Okay, now you post something. :D

That is, if you can put the pretzel dog down for long enough to type more than one sentence.

Only reason I even typed one out real quick is because threads like this always die if the OP doesn't contribute something.

leverageblargh posted...

know your audience.

Don't tell me how to live, you aren't even my real mom.

DuranOfForcena posted...

"There must be some way out of here." said the joker to the thief. "There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief. Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth. None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited." The thief he kindly spoke. "There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke. But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate. So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late".

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view, while all the women came and went. Barefoot servants, too. Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl. Two riders were approaching; the wind began to howl.

https://www.reddit.com/r/im14andthisisdeep/

tag
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It's Wednesday and I'm surfing the internet on the GameFAQs forum, now owned by CBS or some shit. I go to the most troll forum I can find: Current Events. I click on a topic and I find something so disgusting that I nearly throw up my lunch; Southcoast and JamesNog are throwing insults at one another endlessly and trying to accuse the other of having an online meltdown at 2pm in the afternoon.

I think about saying something to lighten the mood, but I realize that the only thing that can stop these two trolls is the banhammer. I go to the last page to see the latest damage and find that Error is once again telling Southcoast to get a life. That's so harsh, Error, so harsh. I think about my options and hover my mouse cursor over the little white X in the red box in the upper right-hand corner. I stop and gulp; do I really want to do this? No, I go into a second topic and write about my experience instead.

It's only just beginning. To find out what my story is, read the top of this post again.

Fiction can go fuck itself
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shit yeah i meant words fuck

I meant words, guys.

Once upon a time a lady misplaced her head. She looked in the cabinets. She looked under the rug, under the bed. Eventually she looked inside her dog (who objected, by the way), but she still couldn’t find it. She set out to purchase a new one from the market. What she bought was a cabbage, which sat handsomely on her shoulders. People began to admire her and slip love notes under her door. Her real head, however, was secretly watching from the rafters. It swooped down, ate the cabbage, and reclaimed its spot. The lady was normal again, and still is to this day. Her dog never did recover.

486 characters
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MellyBell posted...

shit yeah i meant words fuck

I think 500 characters is actually a lot more interesting and a better challenge.
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characters it is then! yolooooooooooo

I wish I could edit my bad story in the OP of we gonna do characters

You could rewrite it to be shorter.
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Applebees is more than just a restaurant, it is an experience.

When you step through the door of the restaurant your first time, you are transported into a world unlike any other. The low light of the restaurant casts shadows on the knick-knacks adorning the walls, and the translucent hum of the various screens through the restaurant create a sort of ethereal presence in the restaurant.

Right off the bat, you know you are in for a dining experience like no other.

"Welcome to Applebees!" a cheerful host says to you. "How many are in your party?" You hold up two fingers. "Right this way!" She responds. As you walk to your table, you wonder how she can deal with so many customers, yet remain so chipper, but shrug it off as another wonderful mystery caused by the splendor of Applebees.

The waitress takes your drink order and for a moment, your head is spinning. Do you want a soda? Do you want iced tea? You look at the drink menu and you see a litany of alcohol beverages you have only dreamed about - Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Light...

The waitress offers a helpful suggestion of an Oreo Shake, and you say that sounds great. She asks if you'd like a round of water for the table as well. You smile. This is the kind of attention to detail that you expect from Michelin Star rated restaurants, not a Neighborhood Bar & Grill!

As the waitress goes to fetch your shake, you peruse the menu. The pages are jam-packed with the names of delicacies that you can only imagine. Fiesta Lime Chicken? Shrimp N' Parmesan Sirloin? You shift in your seat; you suddenly feel very self-aware that you do not belong in this restaurant. Your palatte does not feel sophisticated enough for these cuisines, and you worry that you will not do these delicacies justice when you enjoy them.

Just at this moment, the waitress comes to your table and all your fears are dissuaded. You order the Chicken Tenders Platter (a local favorite). You take a sip from your Oreo Shake and breath a sigh of relief as liquified Oreos slide down your throat. You lean back in your booth and relax.

Suddenly, you hear a chorus of heavenly voices rise from behind you. You turn around to see all of the Applebees wait staff coming towards you, singing and clapping their hands. "Happy happy birthday, from Applebees to you," they cheer. "We wish it was our birthday, so we could party too, hey!"

As soon as they arrived, the employees scatter, leaving you to dwell on the beauty of it all; the fact that Applebees treats you with such precise, special attention, the five-star cuisine, the exotic decor, and the fact that the wait staff is so eager to share in your special moments with you.
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ur username makes me sad because that's one of the nicknames my pa and I used to call our pup before she got run over and killed

:(
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Balrog0 posted...

ur username makes me sad because that's one of the nicknames my pa and I used to call our pup before she got run over and killed

:(

Super short story but right to the point. Very emotionally effective. 10/10

also lol @ TC trying to write his own version of a confederacy of dunces
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The
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I love A Confederacy of Dunces :D I would totally admit to aping that style.

Gee I guess that sure took the wind out of your stupid criticism :D

There once was a man from Nantucket.

This is an assignment I did for a creative writing class, every other line had to include a cliche. I believe it was less than 500 words.

It was a dark and stormy night. A party had been thrown by the wealthy owner of an isolated mansion, high up on a hilltop. However, the tone of the party quickly shifted, the partygoers were now sweating bullets. They were all gathered around the body of one of their good friends. He was dead as a doornail, on account of the missing head that had been quite brutally torn from his body.

As much as they wished to leave, they couldn't, the weather had made the path to the mansion a perilous one. With all these people around him, the killer felt like a kid in a candy store. As the owner was dialing for the police on the mansion's telephone, a streak of lightning flashed through the sky and a bang of thunder echoed through the building, killing the power and cutting the mansion off from the outside world. The residents of the mansion were now blind as a bat. The owner, keeping his calm in front of his guests, sent his trusty butler down to the basement to start the generators. The butler left, all by his lonesome and quiet as mouse, hoping to not draw the killer's attention.

After fumbling around in the dark, they manage to get a candle lit shedding some light and revealing the disappearances of two guests. After checking the nearby rooms, they made the unfortunate discovery that the two had kicked the bucket. The fear was getting to the residents, one of them in particular was afraid of his own shadow. After hearing a loud crash that originated from deep in the heart of the building, the resident couldn't take anymore and jumped through the window, splitting his head open on the rocks below. The partygoers were dropping like flies, the survivors were in hot water. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, they split up into two groups, attempting a sort of buddy system, agreeing to meet back in the lobby of the mansion. It goes without saying that this was a horrible idea. At this point, it was like taking candy from a baby.

The owner's group had made it back to the lobby only to be met with the headless bodies of the second group, propped up in chairs as if they were politely waiting for their return. Scared stiff, the owner turned around, only to see his buddy had vanished, without a trace. Sweating, he scanned the area hoping to spot someone, anyone still alive. The owner was then hit from behind, and he was out like a light. He awoke, sitting at the dining room table, a covered tray in front of him. He lifted the lid off of the tray, and, going white as a sheet, saw the head of his buddy placed upon it. You could say curiosity killed the cat. Before he could even scream, his throat was cut. As it turns out, the butler did it.

MellyBell posted...

Gee I guess that sure took the wind out of your stupid criticism :D

does admitting you tried to do something else to worse effect really lose ground just because you admit it? especially when making posts like:

MellyBell posted...

https://www.reddit.com/r/im14andthisisdeep/

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I didn't try to do something else, but worse. Being influenced by something isn't a bad thing, but okey. Maybe try posting something of your own?

yeah totally

A man sits on his roof. He has brought up a lounge chair, a boombox, six cans of beer neatly arranged in plastic rings, and his favorite guinea pig, Oliver. "This is the life, Oliver," he says as he sits in the chair, turns on the boombox, and cracks open a can of cold, refreshing brew, and holds the rodent in his thick Italian arms. "Yep, it just doesn't get any better than this."

The man falls asleep, and the guinea pig wriggles its way out of the man's arms. On the roof, with the boombox booming and the man sound asleep the pig alerts the others. "Cricka cricka pow wow," it says into the walkie talkie.

Pablo, a pig at the local chapter of the Brotherhood, gets Oliver's coded message and sends one of his own: "Maka pallow! Kay dom pujee!"

"Jumba pallow pow pow," Oliver says.

"Maka pallow yim yim yim yim."

The plan is set into motion: a team of pigs arrives by helicopter and drops a large net onto the sleeping man. A ladder is dropped down from the copter and Oliver climbs up. "Damn good to see you, Jessica," Oliver tells a pig in the copter.

Several pigs climb down the rope ladder onto the roof. One of them, the leader of the bunch, complete with eye patch and cigar, climbs onto the netted man. "Wake up, Chief," he tells the man.

The man awakens and immediately tries to break out of his netted prison. "Not this time, Cowboy," the Patched One tells him.

"Who--Who are you?" the man asks.

"Your worst nightmare, Biped." Looking at his companions on the roof and then at his walkie talkie, he says, "Take him away, boys."

The netted man is lifted into the copter and the Patched One and his cronies climb back up the ladder.

"Jessica. . ."
"I'm pregant, Oliver."
"How long."
"Two weeks."
"I've been on this mission for a month--"
"I'm sorry Oliver."
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My story is gud and you are just jelly.

Mastacatory climax is genius.

Returned: box of condoms, never opened.
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Very Hemingway-esque. Like For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.

Or the lesser known Woody Allen version: For Sale: Baby shoes, only cummed in once.

I punched a dude in his dick.

He knows what he did.
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Sonichu is a combination of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu and is also Chris's imaginary son/friend. He goes on adventures and "zaps to the extreme!"

He is a yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up. A Pok'emon Watcher saw this one making out with a Jigglypuff once or twice. WILD

Aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws, one of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew trolls to Chris is that Sonichu is a Mary Sue. In other words, he is an obvious avatar for Chris's personal power fantasies.
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gotta go fast