Current Events > I don't get bicuriosity (not a bashing topic, looking to understand)

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weapon_d00d816
05/18/17 11:43:52 AM
#1:


The concept of not knowing your sexuality and having to "try it out" with the same sex to know for sure is just totally foreign to me.

Like, if you feel compelled to try it out, wouldn't that already tell you that you're bi to some degree? Maybe I'm misunderstanding what bicuriosity is. Are bicurious people looking to find out how much rather than if?
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green butter
05/18/17 11:45:41 AM
#2:


there's only one way to really get being bi-curious... you know what you must do
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thanosibe
05/18/17 11:51:57 AM
#3:


im almost 40 and know people of different sexualities and bi curiosity seems to be a new term. I think a lot of people still feel uncomfortable with the established labels. So something less damning seems to be the way for a person to express their sexuality. So bi curiosity, feminine penis, etc all seem ways to be bisexual and identify bisexual without being called bisexual. Most anyone I've know, knew their sexuality, just like I did. Outside of some homosexual men and women, that through social pressures engaged in sex with someone of a gender they didn't prefer, if you have sex with both genders, even once, I'd call it bisexuality. And even in that last instance, still seems to be bisexuality. I can't ever seen myself having sex with a man due to social pressures. I'd just remain celibate.

Edit: Disclaimer of anecdotal and not me saying I am an authority.
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prince_leo
05/18/17 11:55:06 AM
#4:


back in college I had been having sex with women for awhile, never really wondered about men
after a messy "break-up" with a girl because I didn't want to actually date her, I went out with some friends to a bar
I ended up getting a drink bought for me by this guy. we talked, he was cool, etc. anyway, we end up going to a houseparty he knew and then from there I ended up crashing at his place. one thing led to another and my pants were off.
since he was doing stuff to me, I figured i'd do stuff back to return the favor. a little bit later on, and I realized i'd never really be in this situation again, so I went all the way and let him in


it was ok. didn't really do anything for me, but i'm glad I did it. I wouldn't do it again, even if I did end up becoming single
my fiancée thought it was a little weird, but she admitted later on she masturbated to the idea of me with a man. she's only ever made out with another girl and touched boobs together. I doubt we'll do a threesome, but I think we're both game for contact no matter who the 3rd is


so idk man, it just happened and I didn't force anything. I realized I didn't want to kiss another man, but his penis was fine. so yeah, weird af
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:01:51 PM
#5:


Sexuality isn't as clear-cut as you're making it seem, TC. Also, the perfect way to know if you like or dislike something is to try it. Just wanting to try it means nothing. You can completely dislike it, like it, or be neutral to it. That's what would be more indicative to your attraction (though still not definitive). Also, even if you wanna try it, there are lots of cultural and societal pressures that may prevent you to do so. It's not simply "I may wanna try this - OH THAT MUST MEAN I'M GAY".
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weapon_d00d816
05/18/17 12:04:02 PM
#6:


_Near_ posted...
Sexuality isn't as clear-cut as you're making it seem, TC. Also, the perfect way to know if you like or dislike something is to try it. Just wanting to try it means nothing. You can completely dislike it, like it, or be neutral to it. That's what would be more indicative to your attraction (though still not definitive). Also, even if you wanna try it, there are lots of cultural and societal pressures that may prevent you to do so. It's not simply "I may wanna try this - OH THAT MUST MEAN I'M GAY".

But that's the thing. How are people so unsure of their sexuality that they have to try it to find out?

I knew I was straight long before I had sex with a woman.
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CrowTRobot
05/18/17 12:04:23 PM
#7:


I for one think it's time to retire the "bi" term. It is outdated and implies there are only 2 genders, which as we know is false.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:05:59 PM
#8:


weapon_d00d816 posted...

But that's the thing. How are people so unsure of their sexuality that they have to try it to find out?

I knew I was straight long before I had sex with a woman.


I know this is shocking, but people are different. Just because you were sure of your sexuality at an early age, doesn't mean everyone is.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:06:29 PM
#9:


CrowTRobot posted...
I for one think it's time to retire the "bi" term. It is outdated and implies there are only 2 genders, which as we know is false.


That's why pansexual exists. But people who are bi might not be interested in other genders besides man and woman.
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CrowTRobot
05/18/17 12:07:07 PM
#10:


_Near_ posted...
CrowTRobot posted...
I for one think it's time to retire the "bi" term. It is outdated and implies there are only 2 genders, which as we know is false.


That's why pansexual exists.


So we should rename it to LGPT.
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Anteaterking
05/18/17 12:08:51 PM
#11:


For a lesser example, consider *insert fetish*. Maybe you see some porn with that fetish and it turns you on and you're curious to know whether you'd actually be into it or not. Later you try it out and you realize that ultimately that you were actually just turned on by two attractive people having sex with each other and this just added a bit of novelty, and you end up not really being into it in person.

A lot of people who claim to be "bicurious" are also younger. Are you ever turned on seeing yourself naked?
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thanosibe
05/18/17 12:09:18 PM
#12:


_Near_ posted...
Sexuality isn't as clear-cut as you're making it seem, TC. Also, the perfect way to know if you like or dislike something is to try it. Just wanting to try it means nothing. You can completely dislike it, like it, or be neutral to it. That's what would be more indicative to your attraction (though still not definitive). Also, even if you wanna try it, there are lots of cultural and societal pressures that may prevent you to do so. It's not simply "I may wanna try this - OH THAT MUST MEAN I'M GAY".
And this is why I think it's mainly a resistance to labels. Like if you did have sex with only one man and the rest of time women, whether you think you are bisexual or not, why does the label make a difference? You are still you, that had sex with a man once and never again.

It's like what's a drunk? Someone who drinks in moderation everyday, or someone that gets shit faced every weekend? The resistance to what is a drunk is because no one wants the label.
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darkphoenix181
05/18/17 12:10:26 PM
#13:


@Vegy
@V-E-G-Y-
@ssj3vegeta2
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M-Watcher
05/18/17 12:10:50 PM
#14:


CrowTRobot posted...
I for one think it's time to retire the "bi" term. It is outdated and implies there are only 2 genders, which as we know is false.

But all the other "genders" are either variations of male and female anyway, or neutral.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:13:32 PM
#15:


thanosibe posted...
_Near_ posted...
Sexuality isn't as clear-cut as you're making it seem, TC. Also, the perfect way to know if you like or dislike something is to try it. Just wanting to try it means nothing. You can completely dislike it, like it, or be neutral to it. That's what would be more indicative to your attraction (though still not definitive). Also, even if you wanna try it, there are lots of cultural and societal pressures that may prevent you to do so. It's not simply "I may wanna try this - OH THAT MUST MEAN I'M GAY".
And this is why I think it's mainly a resistance to labels. Like if you did have sex with only one man and the rest of time women, whether you think you are bisexual or not, why does the label make a difference? You are still you, that had sex with a man once and never again.

It's like what's a drunk? Someone who drinks in moderation everyday, or someone that gets shit faced every weekend? The resistance to what is a drunk is because no one wants the label.


See the point is, you don't have to be consistently having sex with both genders to be bi. What matters is attraction. People who are bicurious are unsure of their attraction. By engaging in sexual acts, they are able to identify that attraction.

So the man who bangs one guy and 10 girls can be bi if he liked both, can be straight if he only liked the girls, or he can be gay if he only liked the guy.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:15:35 PM
#16:


CrowTRobot posted...
_Near_ posted...
CrowTRobot posted...
I for one think it's time to retire the "bi" term. It is outdated and implies there are only 2 genders, which as we know is false.


That's why pansexual exists.


So we should rename it to LGPT.


Nah, like I said in my edited post above, bi people could not be attracted to other genders. And since other genders are less commonplace than man and woman, bisexuality is the more appropriate term. There are less pansexual people than bi people, as far as I know.
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weapon_d00d816
05/18/17 12:15:56 PM
#17:


_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...

But that's the thing. How are people so unsure of their sexuality that they have to try it to find out?

I knew I was straight long before I had sex with a woman.


I know this is shocking, but people are different. Just because you were sure of your sexuality at an early age, doesn't mean everyone is.

Are bicurious guys unsure if they like women until they try sex with them? Because to my eyes that doesn't seem to be the case. They only seem unsure of their feelings towards men. And usually those feelings turn out to be absent.
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ssj3vegeta2
05/18/17 12:17:18 PM
#18:


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Touch
05/18/17 12:18:23 PM
#19:


You've never seen a penis and thought "hey man...that looks alright"?
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YookaLaylee
05/18/17 12:18:44 PM
#20:


_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...

But that's the thing. How are people so unsure of their sexuality that they have to try it to find out?

I knew I was straight long before I had sex with a woman.


I know this is shocking, but people are different. Just because you were sure of your sexuality at an early age, doesn't mean everyone is.

He's asking why that is
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:19:02 PM
#21:


weapon_d00d816 posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...

But that's the thing. How are people so unsure of their sexuality that they have to try it to find out?

I knew I was straight long before I had sex with a woman.


I know this is shocking, but people are different. Just because you were sure of your sexuality at an early age, doesn't mean everyone is.

Are bicurious guys unsure if they like women until they try sex with them? Because to my eyes that doesn't seem to be the case. They only seem unsure of their feelings towards men. And usually those feelings turn out to be absent.


I feel like I'm gonna have to keep repeating this, but everyone is different. When people say bicurious, you're right in thinking that it mostly refers to a straight person figuring out if they like the same gender. However, many times when one starts to question their attraction to the same gender, they will also question their "established" attraction to the opposite gender. Bicurious people may figure out that they like both genders equally, one more than the other, or simply that they're straight or gay.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:19:35 PM
#22:


YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...

But that's the thing. How are people so unsure of their sexuality that they have to try it to find out?

I knew I was straight long before I had sex with a woman.


I know this is shocking, but people are different. Just because you were sure of your sexuality at an early age, doesn't mean everyone is.

He's asking why that is



Because everyone is different and the human race isn't a monolith?
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weapon_d00d816
05/18/17 12:21:10 PM
#23:


But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:23:52 PM
#24:


weapon_d00d816 posted...
But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.


That's on you, buddy. You're the one that's only had sexual experiences with one gender and can't fathom being attracted to others. Many people have had sex with the same gender and different genders - some posted in this topic, me included. The fact that you can't understand it doesn't negate its existence. Your limited view of the world doesn't shape reality, I'm afraid.
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YookaLaylee
05/18/17 12:24:51 PM
#25:


_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.


That's on you, buddy. You're the one that's only had sexual experiences with one gender and can't fathom being attracted to others. Many people have had sex with the same gender and different genders - some posted in this topic, me included. The fact that you can't understand it doesn't negate its existence. Your limited view of the world doesn't shape reality, I'm afraid.

Why are you so tight lol? He's just asking you stuff and trying to understand
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Veggeta X
05/18/17 12:25:26 PM
#26:


What about man crushes? How do you guys feel about that?
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FF_Redux
05/18/17 12:27:47 PM
#27:


I love bicurious men, it's so hot to pop their gay cherry, so hot when they still call themselves straight.
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frozenshock
05/18/17 12:28:30 PM
#28:


FF_Redux posted...
I love bicurious men, it's so hot to pop their gay cherry, so hot when they still call themselves straight.


I'm actually tricurious.
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BigSLM1993
05/18/17 12:30:02 PM
#29:


I agree that labels can be a bit too constricting. Like I prefer men and would date one. But I could totally sleep with some women, but I don't ever see myself falling in love with one or building a relationship.

I personally feel like bisexual is too strong a term for me since I don't forsee myself building a future with a woman, but I still can have an attraction for both sexes.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:33:27 PM
#30:


YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.


That's on you, buddy. You're the one that's only had sexual experiences with one gender and can't fathom being attracted to others. Many people have had sex with the same gender and different genders - some posted in this topic, me included. The fact that you can't understand it doesn't negate its existence. Your limited view of the world doesn't shape reality, I'm afraid.

Why are you so tight lol? He's just asking you stuff and trying to understand


You don't try to understand by being skeptical of people's experiences, especially when those experiences are a source of discrimination. Bi people have to deal with people thinking that they don't exist all the time - his line of thought is problematic and he needs to understand that.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:35:04 PM
#31:


BigSLM1993 posted...
I agree that labels can be a bit too constricting. Like I prefer men and would date one. But I could totally sleep with some women, but I don't ever see myself falling in love with one or building a relationship.

I personally feel like bisexual is too strong a term for me since I don't forsee myself building a future with a woman, but I still can have an attraction for both sexes.


Yeah you're just sexually attracted to women but not romantically. Bisexual but homoromantic.
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weapon_d00d816
05/18/17 12:39:47 PM
#32:


_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.


That's on you, buddy. You're the one that's only had sexual experiences with one gender and can't fathom being attracted to others. Many people have had sex with the same gender and different genders - some posted in this topic, me included. The fact that you can't understand it doesn't negate its existence. Your limited view of the world doesn't shape reality, I'm afraid.

Why are you so tight lol? He's just asking you stuff and trying to understand


You don't try to understand by being skeptical of people's experiences, especially when those experiences are a source of discrimination. Bi people have to deal with people thinking that they don't exist all the time - his line of thought is problematic and he needs to understand that.

I think you're confusing "trying to understand" with "being understanding".

The former is a method of inquiring, the latter is a method of unconditional acceptance and compassion.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:42:20 PM
#33:


weapon_d00d816 posted...
_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.


That's on you, buddy. You're the one that's only had sexual experiences with one gender and can't fathom being attracted to others. Many people have had sex with the same gender and different genders - some posted in this topic, me included. The fact that you can't understand it doesn't negate its existence. Your limited view of the world doesn't shape reality, I'm afraid.

Why are you so tight lol? He's just asking you stuff and trying to understand


You don't try to understand by being skeptical of people's experiences, especially when those experiences are a source of discrimination. Bi people have to deal with people thinking that they don't exist all the time - his line of thought is problematic and he needs to understand that.

I think you're confusing "trying to understand" with "being understanding".

The former is a method of inquiring, the latter is a method of unconditional acceptance and compassion.


I don't give a shit about your compassion buddy. I explained to you what bicuriosity is and you're like "I never felt that way so i doubt you're telling the truth"
That's not trying to understand at all.
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YookaLaylee
05/18/17 12:43:34 PM
#34:


You're coming across as a dick now.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:46:25 PM
#35:


that doesn't mean much coming from you, I'm afraid
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BettyWhite
05/18/17 12:46:35 PM
#36:


My sexuality is men are disgusting but my god do I want a long tongued female to treat my fart box like a yogurt without a spoon.
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YookaLaylee
05/18/17 12:47:14 PM
#37:


_Near_ posted...
that doesn't mean much coming from you, I'm afraid

What have I ever done to you? I don't even know who you are
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weapon_d00d816
05/18/17 12:47:36 PM
#38:


_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.


That's on you, buddy. You're the one that's only had sexual experiences with one gender and can't fathom being attracted to others. Many people have had sex with the same gender and different genders - some posted in this topic, me included. The fact that you can't understand it doesn't negate its existence. Your limited view of the world doesn't shape reality, I'm afraid.

Why are you so tight lol? He's just asking you stuff and trying to understand


You don't try to understand by being skeptical of people's experiences, especially when those experiences are a source of discrimination. Bi people have to deal with people thinking that they don't exist all the time - his line of thought is problematic and he needs to understand that.

I think you're confusing "trying to understand" with "being understanding".

The former is a method of inquiring, the latter is a method of unconditional acceptance and compassion.


I don't give a shit about your compassion buddy. I explained to you what bicuriosity is and you're like "I never felt that way so i doubt you're telling the truth"
That's not trying to understand at all.

Well I'm trying to eek out more information than just "people are different *shrug*" so it's going to seem combative.
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#39
Post #39 was unavailable or deleted.
thanosibe
05/18/17 12:50:57 PM
#40:


Well this thread escalated quickly.
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:51:12 PM
#41:


weapon_d00d816 posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
weapon_d00d816 posted...
But I'm skeptical of just how different we are in this regard.


That's on you, buddy. You're the one that's only had sexual experiences with one gender and can't fathom being attracted to others. Many people have had sex with the same gender and different genders - some posted in this topic, me included. The fact that you can't understand it doesn't negate its existence. Your limited view of the world doesn't shape reality, I'm afraid.

Why are you so tight lol? He's just asking you stuff and trying to understand


You don't try to understand by being skeptical of people's experiences, especially when those experiences are a source of discrimination. Bi people have to deal with people thinking that they don't exist all the time - his line of thought is problematic and he needs to understand that.

I think you're confusing "trying to understand" with "being understanding".

The former is a method of inquiring, the latter is a method of unconditional acceptance and compassion.


I don't give a shit about your compassion buddy. I explained to you what bicuriosity is and you're like "I never felt that way so i doubt you're telling the truth"
That's not trying to understand at all.

Well I'm trying to eek out more information than just "people are different *shrug*" so it's going to seem combative.


I don't know what youre trying to get me explain then. Why people are gay?
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_Near_
05/18/17 12:55:02 PM
#42:


YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
that doesn't mean much coming from you, I'm afraid

What have I ever done to you? I don't even know who you are


You're defending problematic comments and then insulted me. That's mainly the reason. Resorting to petty name calling is an easy way for me to tune you out.
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weapon_d00d816
05/18/17 12:58:21 PM
#43:


_Near_ posted...
I don't know what youre trying to get me explain then. Why people are gay?

I'm looking to find out what makes some people unsure of their sexual interests before trying them. This sort of thing likely goes above most people's realm of knowledge as it deals with psychology and maybe neurology, though.
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YookaLaylee
05/18/17 1:00:23 PM
#44:


_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
that doesn't mean much coming from you, I'm afraid

What have I ever done to you? I don't even know who you are


You're defending problematic comments and then insulted me. That's mainly the reason. Resorting to petty name calling is an easy way for me to tune you out.

He asked questions and you flew off the handle. They weren't problematic. You just have a problem with people not one mistakenly falling in line with what you say. It's alright for people to question you. Defend your point of view. That's how discussions work. You acted like a dick so I called you out on being a dick. And you haven't tuned me out because you're still replying
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_Near_
05/18/17 1:01:32 PM
#45:


weapon_d00d816 posted...
_Near_ posted...
I don't know what youre trying to get me explain then. Why people are gay?

I'm looking to find out what makes some people unsure of their sexual interests before trying them. This sort of thing likely goes above most people's realm of knowledge as it deals with psychology and maybe neurology, though.


Yeah I think you're delving into some unanswered questions at this point (or at least, I can't answer). Sexuality is complicated, but as I stated before cultural and societal pressures definitely play a role. People can have repressed their sexual desires because they are in an environment where they cannot express them safely. This leads to questioning later on. But that's just one example.
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#46
Post #46 was unavailable or deleted.
_Near_
05/18/17 1:03:22 PM
#47:


YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
that doesn't mean much coming from you, I'm afraid

What have I ever done to you? I don't even know who you are


You're defending problematic comments and then insulted me. That's mainly the reason. Resorting to petty name calling is an easy way for me to tune you out.

He asked questions and you flew off the handle. They weren't problematic. You just have a problem with people not one mistakenly falling in line with what you say. It's alright for people to question you. Defend your point of view. That's how discussions work. You acted like a dick so I called you out on being a dick. And you haven't tuned me out because you're still replying


Lol, if that's what flying of the handle is for you, you must be a very delicate snowflake. I actually don't even know what you're doing here, since no one is talking to you. All you're doing is tone trolling and not adding anything to the discussion.
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thanosibe
05/18/17 1:04:22 PM
#48:


Asherlee10 posted...
Well, it is possible to not know if you're into something without trying it. I was "bicurious" in college and I slept with a guy. For me it was an affirmation of my sexuality afterwards.
I think this is what TC is after. Asherlee tried it with her non preferred gender and confirmed she didn't favor men. Most heterosexuals, men especially, know they never need to try having sex with a man to know they don't want to have sex with a man; even once. Why these variances occur is the question being asked?
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YookaLaylee
05/18/17 1:05:34 PM
#49:


_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
YookaLaylee posted...
_Near_ posted...
that doesn't mean much coming from you, I'm afraid

What have I ever done to you? I don't even know who you are


You're defending problematic comments and then insulted me. That's mainly the reason. Resorting to petty name calling is an easy way for me to tune you out.

He asked questions and you flew off the handle. They weren't problematic. You just have a problem with people not one mistakenly falling in line with what you say. It's alright for people to question you. Defend your point of view. That's how discussions work. You acted like a dick so I called you out on being a dick. And you haven't tuned me out because you're still replying


Lol, if that's what flying of the handle is for you, you must be a very delicate snowflake. I actually don't even know what you're doing here, since no one is talking to you. All you're doing is tone trolling and not adding anything to the discussion.

You need to tune out people who you disagree with but I'm a snowflake? Lmao. And what happened to that? You're still listening to me. I'm not trolling by the way. You're just extremely sensitive
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_Near_
05/18/17 1:06:16 PM
#50:


Ah, I see you don't even know what tone trolling is.
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