Current Events > Are my friends cheap assholes?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Context:

Two months ago my friend wanted to go out to a birthday dinner at an expensive place, about $50 a head. Four of us went, Friend A (his birthday), Friend B, Me, and my girlfriend. The total for the four of us was something like $200- $220, Friend B was in a shitty mood since he illegally parked and had to pay a tow truck driver $50 to stop him, so I offered to pay for everything except his meal.

A week ago, the same four of us went to dinner for my birthday. We had beers at a local brewery ($4 each, I had one), then to a restaurant where our shared bill was $65 (I didn't want to go anywhere fancy, just wanted to hang out).

Friend B, the guy that almost had his car towed, never offered to pay anything. Friend A offered to pay a share but my girlfriend turned him down, so friends A and B paid for only their own meals, and my girlfriend covered the rest.

My girlfriend wanted to take us out again, just us two (we thought A and B would help chip in, then we'd have our own dinner she would treat me to) but I told her we shouldn't since she paid for everything for me, so we cooked a meal ourselves.

Are my friends cheap assholes? Like I'm frugal but I'm never cheap when it comes to giving money to others. Or maybe I'm just overreacting.

idk, i'm too autistic for these types of scenarios

everyone should just pay for themselves all the time
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Are you mad that they didn't offer to pay for your food?

I don't think your friends are the assholes here.
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i think for the second outing, they should have offered to chip in, yeah. i also believe that

organicbamf posted...

everyone should just pay for themselves all the time

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Your "friends" aren't the problem here.

Giant_Aspirin posted...

everyone should just pay for themselves all the time

My experience is that people REALLY have a difficult time with this concept. As if giving the waiter two cards complicates the scenario or something.

That being said I do think it's kinda BS that they didn't offer to pay anything despite you paying on their birthday. That's why I always only ever split the bill evenly with whomever I'm with or pay for my meal.
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No, I don't think so.
I actually prefer everyone to just pay their own bills. Having someone pay for me makes me feel weird and as if I then owe them something the next time.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

Giant_Aspirin posted...

everyone should just pay for themselves all the time

My experience is that people REALLY have a difficult time with this concept. As if giving the waiter two cards complicates the scenario or something.

Unless you're at some dive the server will almost always split the checks for you
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Twin3Turbo posted...

they didn't offer to pay anything despite you paying on their birthday

yeh this is the only time i would think "hey pay for their shit, they paid for yours"

like last saturday i went on a road trip with another couple and the guy paid for my gas, so i bought him some strudel to take home afterward to sort of even that out

but according to my gf, keeping a balance in your head of who you owe and who owes you what is bad so *shrug*

i would just rather everyone pay for their own shit after they knowingly get involved with whatever endeavor
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Twin3Turbo posted...

As if giving the waiter two cards complicates the scenario or something.

i just ask for separate checks
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Eh, I don't think this is something you should keep in your head because it will be in your subconscious and will make you bitter at your friends. Just drop it; best for everyone.
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don't pay for anything when you expect something in return.

that's called "lending money" without the actual words spoken.
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organicbamf posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

they didn't offer to pay anything despite you paying on their birthday

yeh this is the only time i would think "hey pay for their shit, they paid for yours"

like last saturday i went on a road trip with another couple and the guy paid for my gas, so i bought him some strudel to take home afterward to sort of even that out

but according to my gf, keeping a balance in your head of who you owe and who owes you what is bad so *shrug*

i would just rather everyone pay for their own shit after they knowingly get involved with whatever endeavor

This. If I don't want to or can't spend money on something then I do not go. My boss eats out like everyday, and a lot of times I don't go with him when he asks, simply because I don't want to spend my money eating out. But on the times I do go, I always expect and try to pay for my food. But many times he does himself. But since he's sending the bill to corporate as a expense that he's going to get reimbursed for, it doesn't bother me when that happens.
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AsucaHayashi posted...

don't pay for anything when you expect something in return.

that's called "lending money" without the actual words spoken.

yep
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And why you pay for your friend cause he made a mistake and parked like a jackass?

Don't reward bad behaviors, lol
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Also what is "everything but his meal" at a restaurant? Like, a beer I guess?
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DevsBro posted...

Also what is "everything but his meal" at a restaurant? Like, a beer I guess?

i assume the ticket/fine he incurred when parking like a moron
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TheGoldenEel posted...

Unless you're at some dive the server will almost always split the checks for you

Right, thats what i'm saying

Giant_Aspirin posted...

i just ask for separate checks

Same here, or just split it evenly among whomever I'm out with. Yeah that means that someone end's up paying more than they should have and someone else ends up paying less than they should have, but usually the difference is very minor so I don't really care. I say this as the person that usually is the one paying more than they should.
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Guys I do separate checks literally every time, this topic is specifically about treating friends to birthday dinners.

clearaflagrantj posted...

Guys I do separate checks literally every time, this topic is specifically about treating friends to birthday dinners.

which i would still say everyone should just pay for themselves

seriously, why shuffle around some in-group debt when you can just pay for what you want and enjoy the company rather than some superficial outing?
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Venmo bro.
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