Board 8 > SmartMuffin's Top Four over (and under) rated Old Testament Prophets

(+) Yeah! (+)

I had this idea a long time ago, but just never got around to it.

Finishing up the list tonight. We'll start with the overrated tomorrow, with one reveal per day!

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/

4. Ezekiel

Well, let's get the obvious out of the way first. That badass quote from Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction? Not actually in the Bible. As if that wasn't disappointing enough, Ezekiel himself had some of the craziest and most inconsistent (and incorrect) visions of any of the biblical prophets. Some of the stuff he saw was just plain nuts. Also, in breaking with many of the other prophets, he not only prophesied that God would punish Israel, but he also spent a lot of time predicting equally bad things for most of Israel's enemies, whereas many of the other prophets went with a "in order to punish Israel, God will strengthen their enemies" line of reasoning, which made a lot more sense and which, you know, actually happened.

Also, the last like 10 chapters of his book are boring as **** minute descriptions of the blueprints of his vision of the third temple. Talk about a yawnfest.

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/

Also, the last like 10 chapters of his book are boring as **** minute descriptions of the blueprints of his vision of the third temple. Talk about a yawnfest.

This is absolutely the truth. I mean it. I read this book in religion class a few weeks ago and fell asleep several times at this point.

--
K | H | A | Q | Q | A | H | K
"we're about 50 years behind the rest of western society." -icon on B8

tag

--
The Hunger Games>Mockingjay>Catching Fire
Majora's Mask won GotD. Deal with it.

There's one episode of The Simpsons where Reverend Lovejoy refers to Jeremiah. Every time I think of Jeremiah, I think of Reverend Lovejoy droning the words, "The Lamentations of Jeremiah."

tag

--
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/bokbokbokpngur.png
Mr Caffeine? He was awesome. - Ayuyu

3. Jeremiah

The only prophet to get two books entirely his own, and boy, what a waste that is. Jeremiah is long and boring, and Lamentations is whiny to the extent that I figure it's safe to declare Jeremiah to be the first emo in recorded human history. Now ask yourself, if you were King of Israel and it came to your knowledge that you had the first emo in the history of the world roaming around and generally annoying the hell out of everyone, wouldn't you throw him in a pit and leave him to die? Yeah, that's what I thought.

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/

Tag.

--
Proud ValHellen x Maha_Bufudyne shipper.

2. Jonah

The story of Jonah being swallowed by a whale is pretty well known, because it is often taught to children, because it is both simple enough to understand and interesting enough to be retained. What we don't often teach the children though, is that Jonah may be the stupidest man in the entire old testament (which is a book that is completely filled of humans making poor decisions). You see, Jonah was called to prophecy, and realizing that prophets often get thrown in pits and left to die, he wasn't so thrilled about it. Rather than accept his fate and just whine about it a lot (like Jeremiah), he decides to run away. That's right, this guy thinks he can escape his fate by trying to flee the jurisdiction of GOD.

As you can imagine, that doesn't exactly work out. What an idiot.

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/

1. Isiah

One of my biggest pet-peeves about Christianity in the old-testament is how some Christians just seem completely and totally obsessed with co-opting the whole thing and making it all about Jesus. It's like, come on people, you already have your OWN Bible that is completely and explicitly about Jesus. Do we really need to claim the Old Testament too? Can't we just let the Jews have their bible and their religion and everything?

I'm convinced that if it wasn't for Isiah, this type of thing wouldn't happen NEARLY as often as it does. Isiah is pretty much the only book in the Old Testament for which making it about Jesus is a fairly legitimate thing to do. However, people then take this and do it to every OTHER book. The only reason Isiah is all that important, well know, and often-quoted is because Jesus actually came and early Christians felt the need to justify themselves by pointing to earlier Jewish scriptures and prophecy. But can't we get past that now?

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/

Busy tonight. We'll start the underrated tomorrow.

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/

SmartMuffin posted...

1. Isiah

One of my biggest pet-peeves about Christianity in the old-testament is how some Christians just seem completely and totally obsessed with co-opting the whole thing and making it all about Jesus. It's like, come on people, you already have your OWN Bible that is completely and explicitly about Jesus. Do we really need to claim the Old Testament too? Can't we just let the Jews have their bible and their religion and everything?

I'm convinced that if it wasn't for Isiah, this type of thing wouldn't happen NEARLY as often as it does. Isiah is pretty much the only book in the Old Testament for which making it about Jesus is a fairly legitimate thing to do. However, people then take this and do it to every OTHER book. The only reason Isiah is all that important, well know, and often-quoted is because Jesus actually came and early Christians felt the need to justify themselves by pointing to earlier Jewish scriptures and prophecy. But can't we get past that now?

Hate to get all fundamentalist on you, but no. The Old Testament is the foundation of the New Testament. Without the Old Testament providing a basis for anything, Jesus becomes some magic guy who suddenly comes along, walks on water, makes some wine and dies on a cross in the end. With the Old Testament, there's a direct lineage that makes him the descendant of King David, which to Jews is a huge deal.

Uglyface2 posted...

SmartMuffin posted...

Hate to get all fundamentalist on you, but no. The Old Testament is the foundation of the New Testament. Without the Old Testament providing a basis for anything, Jesus becomes some magic guy who suddenly comes along, walks on water, makes some wine and dies on a cross in the end. With the Old Testament, there's a direct lineage that makes him the descendant of King David, which to Jews is a huge deal.

According a documentary I saw, the story of Jesus copied the story of a dude named Joseph in the old testament (not that beta dude that mary got to raise a kid that was not his but was God's instead) and there was lots of parallel stuff in their stories. Apparently most other religions from around the same time or earlier all have most of the same archetypal characters and stories. So yeah, if that documentary knows what it's talking about, consider this post a vouch.

--
I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)

SmartMuffin posted...

2. Jonah

The story of Jonah being swallowed by a whale is pretty well known, because it is often taught to children, because it is both simple enough to understand and interesting enough to be retained. What we don't often teach the children though, is that Jonah may be the stupidest man in the entire old testament (which is a book that is completely filled of humans making poor decisions). You see, Jonah was called to prophecy, and realizing that prophets often get thrown in pits and left to die, he wasn't so thrilled about it. Rather than accept his fate and just whine about it a lot (like Jeremiah), he decides to run away. That's right, this guy thinks he can escape his fate by trying to flee the jurisdiction of GOD.

As you can imagine, that doesn't exactly work out. What an idiot.

you forgot to mention that after he finally goes to Ninevah, he gets pissed that they repent because that means God won't destroy them!

--
http://i49.tinypic.com/anio39.gif

From: Uglyface2 | #012

Hate to get all fundamentalist on you, but no. The Old Testament is the foundation of the New Testament. Without the Old Testament providing a basis for anything, Jesus becomes some magic guy who suddenly comes along, walks on water, makes some wine and dies on a cross in the end. With the Old Testament, there's a direct lineage that makes him the descendant of King David, which to Jews is a huge deal.

Yeah, it is kind of a huge deal to the Jews. The Jews of course are the ones who say "No, this guy isn't fulfilling our prophecies at all, and would you kindly stop claiming he did."

I'm not saying that Christians should ignore the OT entirely, just that using Isiah as the main basis for completely picking apart the OT and making it 100% about Jesus is wrong. MOST of the OT isn't dealing with a coming Messiah. At all.

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/

And for the underrated!

4. Micah

Micah is one of the most straight-up, direct, tell it like it is prophets in the Bible. The Israelites come at him with a wide variety of excuses for their sins, but he just isn't hearing any of it. He directly addresses a category of people that still exist to this day, and still annoy me greatly, those who get completely caught up in and obsessed with doctrine and act like it's just SO difficult to follow God. Micah slaps this **** down hard.

"He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly; to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" - Micah 6:8

--
SmartMuffin - Because anything less would be uncivilized - http://img.imgcake.com/smartmuffin/barkleyjpgde.jpg
http://dudewheresmyfreedom.com/