I will make this clear to everyone here:
I AM INFERTILE. When I told her...it didn't even phase her at all. She doesn't care about any of that.
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User728 04/29/12 6:06:00 PM #51: |
I will make this clear to everyone here:
I AM INFERTILE. When I told her...it didn't even phase her at all. She doesn't care about any of that. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Mik_Pick 04/29/12 6:09:00 PM #52: |
My parents got married at 25 (her) and 38 (him). They would eventually divorce but they've remained best friends ever since. They buy and rent out houses together, and when she's in town (Couple of nights a week) she stays here (ie his house).
-- XBL: Mik Pick PSN: Mik2Pick ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 6:09:00 PM #53: |
And I never ignored my parents' concern...we've had discussions about it several times. My girlfriend and I had many long talks about it and nearly broke it off at one point. My father's lack of concern for anything related to any one of my problems is the biggest issue I have with him. He just did nothing for me other than bringing home a paycheck. The fact that he would literally time me when speaking to him, when I would go crying to him for help, shows how much he's "concerned" about me. My mom disapproves, but at least she disapproves because she is worried about a tougher life for me...not because she's a crappy parent.
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Sorozone 04/29/12 6:10:00 PM #54: |
So no User baby's on the baseboard? :(
-- - ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Mik_Pick 04/29/12 6:10:00 PM #55: |
From: User728 | #051 Have you two discussed potentially adopting? -- XBL: Mik Pick PSN: Mik2Pick ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 6:11:00 PM #56: |
From: Sorozone | #054 Afraid not...at least not without IVF which is expensive and not guaranteed to work. It's an option of course...but I'd have to have someone else donate the egg if it's not done within the next few years. She told me if I ever wanted to have a child, she'd be willing to go through the 9 months of stuff...but that it's really up to me what I want to do. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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CoolCly 04/29/12 6:12:00 PM #57: |
From: Mik_Pick | #052 do they still bang i bet they still bang -- The batman villians all seem to be one big joke that batman refuses to laugh at - SantaRPG ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 6:12:00 PM #58: |
User728 posted...
A few things: 1. She is very much not like the type of women you are describing. I have no actual way to prove this...but literally anyone who knows her would never in a million years fit her into the mold you just described. Everyone knows her to be the people pleasing type, the super sweet girl, and the type who is happy with the way things are regardless. Again, I have no way to prove it to you, but anyone who knows her already knows she is/never will be like what you just described so that's just out the window right there. And I have no way to prove what I'm about to say, but I'd suspect that you're just the kind of naive, idealistic youth who's primed for exploitation. But maybe not, who knows. Maybe you've found the too-good-to-be-true gal of your dreams. Does this in any way change the fact that your parents have good reason to be worried, based on what could happen? 2. Girls usually live around 10 years longer than men...then add in the fact that no male in my family has ever lived beyond 75 (due to medical reasons) and we have an extreme likelihood of passing away around a similar time. So that's not much of a concern either. Except that it's always a concern for parents. "Averages" do little to dispel the lingering possibility that you could be by yourself for decades. 3. I suspect you didn't read any of that post I referred you to. You are discussing a topic you just don't have a clue in the world about with my father. I already gave some smaller examples of it. No one thinks my dad's behavior is acceptable, my mother included. But as she always says, she's is afraid he'll yell at her if she says anything. You just shouldn't really open your mouth about topics you aren't familiar with. The guy has done nothing for me in any matter that doesn't relate to financials. Unless going to him for help and receiving immature cursing, screams, threats regarding his Will, telling me he won't help me or that I have 10 seconds to talk, etc, is deemed to be "doing something for me." Oh, I read your post, and I found nothing particularly of note. He seems like a typical hardass dad with high expectations, but who nevertheless cares about you and provided a stable family environment (stable financially, at least; maybe not what you would call "emotionally"). You posted this topic in a public place, so I assume you were asking for advice and not simply empty support. Based on how these types of situations *usually* go, your parents have every right to be concerned about what you're doing, and you've offered no evidence so far to the contrary. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 6:13:00 PM #59: |
From: Mik_Pick | #055 Yep...we're both open to it but would prefer to try IVF. Inject my sperm into either her egg...or if she's too old at the time...a donated egg. But my guys have broken tails so they cannot make it into the egg on their own unfortunately. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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CoolCly 04/29/12 6:14:00 PM #60: |
If my dad told me "you have 30 seconds to talk before i hang up" I would tell him to go **** himself and not include him in my life at all anymore.
-- The batman villians all seem to be one big joke that batman refuses to laugh at - SantaRPG ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Robazoid 04/29/12 6:14:00 PM #61: |
Ok never mind Westbrick isn't talking like Ulti anymore
Ulti would take 'oh my wife died when I'm 60' as 'time to go score a hot 20 year old' not 'now I'm alone for decades' -- **R.O.B.A.Z.O.I.D** ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 6:15:00 PM #62: |
User728 posted...
I will make this clear to everyone here: I AM INFERTILE. When I told her...it didn't even phase her at all. She doesn't care about any of that. This is very encouraging on one issue (using men to get a child); not so much on the other (using men for emotional and financial support before one's looks fade completely). The fact that he would literally time me when speaking to him, when I would go crying to him for help, shows how much he's "concerned" about me. Your dad sounds pretty awesome, actually. UltimaterializerX posted... Could not be more wrong. Older women are more sure of themselves. YOUNGER women are desperate. Sorry Ulti, but I have to call you out on this. Women are never, ever "sure" of themselves. At a younger age, girls are more concerned about physical validation; later in life, they fear losing lifelong emotional support. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Mik_Pick 04/29/12 6:17:00 PM #63: |
From: CoolCly | #057 That would be pretty cool but I highly doubt it. She's in a serious relationship and when my parents are both in the same house they don't share bedrooms. The only reason she stays here is because it's a 5 minute drive to her work, compared to a 45 one it would be from where she lives now. -- XBL: Mik Pick PSN: Mik2Pick ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MZero11 04/29/12 6:20:00 PM #64: |
Westbrick: Certified Master of the Female Mind
-- MZero the extreme yes i am Yugi i have spike hair and i play card games with ugly monsters on them its time to Duel-ertyu ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 6:20:00 PM #65: |
And I have no way to prove what I'm about to say, but I'd suspect that you're just the kind of naive, idealistic youth who's primed for exploitation. But maybe not, who knows. Maybe you've found the too-good-to-be-true gal of your dreams. Does this in any way change the fact that your parents have good reason to be worried, based on what could happen?
I'm probably one of the least naive people you've ever spoken to...in fact...I'm pretty much the king of calling others out on being naive. But she is that "too-good-to-be-true" type that you described. She knows I'm incapable of impregnating her. She has been married before to an abusive ex. She had no intentions of ever getting married again because she is happier alone. Then we met each other and really hit it off. Now she is giving it another chance. But all of this runs contrary to the stereotype you described her as. And my father's borderline verbal-abusive ways hampers his right to say ANYTHING to me about his disapproval. And again, "concern" versus writing me out of his Will are entirely different things. If you aren't able to differentiate, then that's a problem on your end...not mine. Except that it's always a concern for parents. "Averages" do little to dispel the lingering possibility that you could be by yourself for decades. I could also be alone for decades with someone younger than me...or I can be in the 52% divorce rate and be alone. But odds are I won't be alone for decades. Oh, I read your post, and I found nothing particularly of note. He seems like a typical hardass dad with high expectations, but who nevertheless cares about you and provided a stable family environment (stable financially, at least; maybe not what you would call "emotionally"). I could go on and on with literally thousands of stories about him, but I can see I'm talking to someone who wants to play the "I'm a mature badass knowledgeable type who knows better than you" card. You posted this topic in a public place, so I assume you were asking for advice and not simply empty support. Based on how these types of situations *usually* go, your parents have every right to be concerned about what you're doing, and you've offered no evidence so far to the contrary. This whole time I never once had an issue with them being "concerned" as I've said over and over again. I can't provide contrary evidence to something I don't even disagree with. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 6:22:00 PM #66: |
From: CoolCly | #060 I know. One time I hung up on him first so he called me up, cursed me out, and hung up on me again. Real nice guy. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MZero11 04/29/12 6:26:00 PM #67: |
From: User728 | #033 So... he doesn't give a **** about your problems but NOW he's concerned because he doesn't like the age difference. Sounds pretty hypocritical imo if he didn't want to help you then he really shouldn't be trying to help you now If he had helped you before he could play the "I've always helped you and I've always been right" card but now he doesn't really have a base to work off of. "I'm your father" doesn't cut it. -- MZero the extreme yes i am Yugi i have spike hair and i play card games with ugly monsters on them its time to Duel-ertyu ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 6:26:00 PM #68: |
From: Westbrick | #062 So does the fact that she was looking to stay single for the remainder of her life, but finally gave me a shot, remedy your other stereotype? Your dad sounds pretty awesome, actually. Don't have children...they will resent you. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 6:27:00 PM #69: |
From: MZero11 | #067 Exactly...and the threat to remove me from his Will is just disgusting beyond belief. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 6:29:00 PM #70: |
User728 posted...
I'm probably one of the least naive people you've ever spoken to...in fact...I'm pretty much the king of calling others out on being naive. But she is that "too-good-to-be-true" type that you described. She knows I'm incapable of impregnating her. She has been married before to an abusive ex. She had no intentions of ever getting married again because she is happier alone. Then we met each other and really hit it off. Now she is giving it another chance. But all of this runs contrary to the stereotype you described her as. And my father's borderline verbal-abusive ways hampers his right to say ANYTHING to me about his disapproval. And again, "concern" versus writing me out of his Will are entirely different things. If you aren't able to differentiate, then that's a problem on your end...not mine. All of this is great news if true, but it doesn't hit at the heart of the issue- which is how your parents feel. I suspect that part of the reason your father is so upset with this arrangement is that he doesn't feel you're taking the possible repercussions seriously. Look, it's possible that your old man will never be happy with your decision to be with an older women, but dissolving the relationship is the worst thing you could do. Just try to explain yourself as best you can, in a way your father would respond well to (so tone down the emotional appeals), and make the best of things. And let me just say this, not to be a jerk, but just as friendly advice you can take as seriously as suits you: try and keep those concerns I mentioned in mind going forward. I know people, albeit distantly, who've had their lives upended in similar situations because they waltzed through things with an dreamy idealism unbefitting of something as serious as marriage. P.S. I've received the "you're not going in my will" warning for lesser **** than this. It's a common parental ploy, especially if the parent in question isn't emotionally in-tune with how you're feeling, like your father. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dark Young Link 04/29/12 6:35:00 PM #71: |
And I have no way to prove what I'm about to say, but I'd suspect that you're just the kind of naive, idealistic youth who's primed for exploitation. But maybe not, who knows. Maybe you've found the too-good-to-be-true gal of your dreams. Does this in any way change the fact that your parents have good reason to be worried, based on what could happen?
For what reason? What logical reason? Technically someone young and beautiful could be a black widow and our friend here could actually have a lot of money. Being judgemental based off what "could" happen is rather stupid considering that just about every decision we make is a risk in a way. Why not just lock him up for the rest of his days? He seems like a typical hardass dad with high expectations, but who nevertheless cares about you and provided a stable family environment (stable financially, at least; maybe not what you would call "emotionally"). Nope. A stable environment covers them all, not just money. Also the "Oh he cares he's just tough!" excuse has been used to "justify" a lot of horrible crap so be very careful when you play that card. It seems your entire defense is built up of worthless "what ifs". Let me just say SO F***ING WHAT?! There are no guarantees in life, if you refuse to do something purely based off a flimsy "what if" you'll never leave the womb. That said I'm not saying "let's get risky!" either... He's a grown ass man, he should be allowed to make his own decisions(within reason obviously) Threatning to pull him out of the will because he wants to marry an older woman is nothing more than parential bullying. He's trying to get him to bend over and do what he wants, instead of letting his son be an adult. Pretty childish if you ask me. Honestly though, one can't just start being a father so late into their child's life. -- http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/darkyounglinkshieldpngyg.png Sleep? F*** sleep, Toonami is on!!- GenesisSaga ... Copied to Clipboard!
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User728 04/29/12 7:06:00 PM #72: |
From: Westbrick | #070 I don't really give a crap about how my father feels. He never gave a crap about me for 25 years and now he's just trying to be an much of an ******* as possible as per usual. He can take his opinions and shove them. He's not suddenly turning over a new leaf and trying to actually take care of me all of a sudden. And we've already addressed every single concern on the planet for the last 2.5 years. There is nothing left to analyze. It's done. I refer you to Dark Young Link's post for counters to your ridiculousness. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 7:22:00 PM #73: |
I don't really give a crap about how my father feels. He never gave a crap about me for 25 years and now he's just trying to be an much of an ******* as possible as per usual. He can take his opinions and shove them. He's not suddenly turning over a new leaf and trying to actually take care of me all of a sudden. And we've already addressed every single concern on the planet for the last 2.5 years. There is nothing left to analyze. It's done.
So painfully immature. Look, we all have "thousands of stories" about how unfair our parents were- because they're human, and often pushed to their limits by their children. Your father isn't that bad. He wasn't an alcoholic, he didn't molest you, it doesn't sound like he was physically abusive to you or your mother, and he provided a financially stable environment. You've got it pretty good. It's also clear that he cares deeply about your future; why else would he threaten to remove you from his will? Just for kicks? I refer you to Dark Young Link's post for counters to your ridiculousness. I didn't want to embarrass Dark Young Link's abject lack of reading comprehension by dignifying it by a response. Putting words in people's mouths is a terrible practice I don't particularly want to promote. The only "ridiculous" person here, by the way, is you. Why you'd post a topic online about you making a poor decision, and then get upset when people call you out for making a poor decision, is rather... immature, actually, which is appropriate given how you've responded to everything else. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Robazoid 04/29/12 7:28:00 PM #74: |
By 'people' do you mean 'you'?
You're literally the only person in this topic who thinks that. And you think emotional abuse makes people 'awesome' so I don't value your opinion on this subject as especially important. -- **R.O.B.A.Z.O.I.D** ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 7:31:00 PM #75: |
You're literally the only person in this topic who thinks that. And you think emotional abuse makes people 'awesome' so I don't value your opinion on this subject as especially important.
I said his dad seemed awesome, but thanks for putting words in my mouth. He seems like the kind of no-nonsense, "I could care less about your petty feelings, let's talk business" type father I would've greatly preferred having growing up. And holy ****, I don't have your approval? brb, gonna commit suicide -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Robazoid 04/29/12 7:33:00 PM #76: |
Why you'd post your thoughts online about you shoving your opinions on others lives down their throats , and then get upset when people call you out for it, is rather... immature, actually, which is appropriate given how you've responded to everything else.
-- **R.O.B.A.Z.O.I.D** ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ExThaNemesis 04/29/12 7:33:00 PM #77: |
you are pathetic. you are about to be a lawyer and you are getting shacked up with some cougar?
what a waste of potential value. please don't ever converse with me again. edit: Oh, but your father shouldn't care what you do, and he's totally overreacting to this. -- We can't stop here. This is bat country. Brace for the G's, and fast heel-toe work. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 7:36:00 PM #78: |
Robazoid posted...
Why you'd post your thoughts online about you shoving your opinions on others lives down their throats , and then get upset when people call you out for it, is rather... immature, actually, which is appropriate given how you've responded to everything else. Clever, except for the little detail that I'm not "upset" at anyone. I'm just providing frank advice for a difficult situation. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Robazoid 04/29/12 7:38:00 PM #79: |
I just think it's a little lol that you're apparently the king of this guys life, and he's immature for not agreeing with you when literally nobody is agreeing with you
-- **R.O.B.A.Z.O.I.D** ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dark Young Link 04/29/12 7:39:00 PM #80: |
Westbrick posted...
So painfully immature. Look, we all have "thousands of stories" about how unfair our parents were- because they're human, and often pushed to their limits by their children. Your father isn't that bad. He wasn't an alcoholic, he didn't molest you, it doesn't sound like he was physically abusive to you or your mother, and he provided a financially stable environment. You've got it pretty good. It's also clear that he cares deeply about your future; why else would he threaten to remove you from his will? Just for kicks? So you're using the "It could be worse, therefore you can't complain at all" reasoning? I don't want to pull the troll card, but you're making it increasingly difficult to believe you're honestly trying to help as opposed to saying more and more wrong things. What exactly is "pushing" his father in this situation? His father isn't physically abusive, but he is emotionally abusive. You know, the type of abuse that does far worse damage? Why else would he threaten to remove him from his will? How about because he's a control freak? Also there isn't a "financially stable". It's either stable or unstable. If you provide money but not love, attention, etc then that means things are unstable. His father could be a billionaire and the money provided would still be nothing compared to what a real father really is about. I didn't want to embarrass Dark Young Link's abject lack of reading comprehension by dignifying it by a response. Putting words in people's mouths is a terrible practice I don't particularly want to promote. Oh please do "embarrass" me. I've never asked anyone to pull punches agaisnt me in my life, what kind of man would I be if I were to cry over some words from you? All I've done is point out how your assumptions are making an... well, you know the joke. If you would be so kind as to point out where I put words into anyone's mouth, I'll gladly rectify the error. The only "ridiculous" person here, by the way, is you. Why you'd post a topic online about you making a poor decision, and then get upset when people call you out for making a poor decision, is rather... immature, actually, which is appropriate given how you've responded to everything else. Hrm... tell me, what would you do were you in his shoes? Should one follow the words of their parents purely because they are parents? -- http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/darkyounglinkshieldpngyg.png Sleep? F*** sleep, Toonami is on!!- GenesisSaga ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 7:39:00 PM #81: |
Robazoid posted...
I just think it's a little lol that you're apparently the king of this guys life, and he's immature for not agreeing with you when literally nobody is agreeing with you He's immature for not taking his parents' legitimate concerns seriously. What a bunch of fellow twenty-somethings feel about my posts is besides the point. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dark Young Link 04/29/12 7:47:00 PM #82: |
Westbrick posted...
Robazoid posted... I just think it's a little lol that you're apparently the king of this guys life, and he's immature for not agreeing with you when literally nobody is agreeing with you He's immature for not taking his parents' legitimate concerns seriously. What a bunch of fellow twenty-somethings feel about my posts is besides the point. Wait. How do you know he didn't take his parents "legitimate concerns" seriously? And a question directed to everyone, who is this Westbrick fellow? Lack of karma suggests either an alt, or.... -- http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/darkyounglinkshieldpngyg.png Sleep? F*** sleep, Toonami is on!!- GenesisSaga ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ExThaNemesis 04/29/12 7:47:00 PM #83: |
Also I read Westbrick's first post and he's right about pretty much everything he said. In fact I would be invariably shocked if this broad didn't see that User just passed the bar and was about to make shiploads of money practicing law before trying to sink her cougar claws into him so that she was provided for in her golden years.
It's not uncommon at all. User, however, has the world in front of him and is gonna throw that away as well as the advice/concerns of his family (who are his biggest supporters through his whole life)? Yeah, that's more than a bit immature. -- We can't stop here. This is bat country. Brace for the G's, and fast heel-toe work. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Robazoid 04/29/12 7:50:00 PM #84: |
You're right he should date an 18 year old fresh outta High School
Then she isn't after him for his money, guaranteed (Honestly though I don't really care I'm just trying to kill ten minutes until Game of Thrones comes on) -- **R.O.B.A.Z.O.I.D** ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 7:51:00 PM #85: |
Dark Young Link posted...
Wait. How do you know he didn't take his parents "legitimate concerns" seriously? Isn't it obvious? He's breaking ties with his father because his father "just doesn't understand." And a question directed to everyone, who is this Westbrick fellow? Lack of karma suggests either an alt, or.... New user and ex-lurker. And believe it or not, I'm honestly trying to be honest, not an ass. You don't have to believe either! You're right he should date an 18 year old fresh outta High School Then she isn't after him for his money, guaranteed Fellow successful twenty-something sounds like a safe bet. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Uglyface2 04/29/12 7:59:00 PM #86: |
User728 posted...
From: Robazoid | #002 How much older we talking? Depending on your age any of the following could be 'a lot older than you' Highscool Senior? College girl? Cougar? MILF? GILF? GGILF? 15 years. 25 versus 40. Extremely nice girl though...acts fun and seems like she's closer to 30 personality-wise...and really no one notices a difference between us after being around us for like 15 minutes or so when we're together. She's not the cougar type at all as far as personality is concerned. With due respect, 40 is not a girl. The transition between girl and woman is sometime in the 20's. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dark Young Link 04/29/12 7:59:00 PM #87: |
Westbrick posted...
Dark Young Link posted... Wait. How do you know he didn't take his parents "legitimate concerns" seriously? Isn't it obvious? He's breaking ties with his father because his father "just doesn't understand." I'm pretty sure it's more than just that. This isn't like when the whiny teen who gets almost everything they want runs away because they can't go to the "cool party" that ends up with someone dying like in all those preachy shows, but more like an ass having yet another problem with what his son is doing based off flimsy and illogical reasoning, then being a brat when said son says "I'm doing what I want anyway". Parents aren't always right, in many cases they can be completely wrong. When one or both of your parents have failed you as a child, how is it immature for said child to not value their parent's advice? Are you supposed to defy all logic and still have faith in someone who couldn't even properly take care of you in your youth? Fellow successful twenty-something sounds like a safe bet. So are you suggesting that people shouldn't date outside their own age? Because gold diggers come in all ages, thinking a woman is one because she's older is kinda ageist. -- http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/darkyounglinkshieldpngyg.png Sleep? F*** sleep, Toonami is on!!- GenesisSaga ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 8:04:00 PM #88: |
Parents aren't always right, in many cases they can be completely wrong. When one or both of your parents have failed you as a child, how is it immature for said child to not value their parent's advice? Are you supposed to defy all logic and still have faith in someone who couldn't even properly take care of you in your youth?
The bolded part cracks me up. Thus far, User's posted no reason for us not to like his father other than "he's an overly-rational ass" (I quality I happen to find endearing) and "he doesn't understand." And even if he were a flawed human being, he's still his father, and just about every father cares deeply about his children. Add in the fact that there are serious concerns about dating older women, and I find his parents in a deeply sympathetic situation. I feel that you're relying too much on "logic" and not enough on psychology. Place yourself in his dad's position for a second. So are you suggesting that people shouldn't date outside their own age? Because gold diggers come in all ages, thinking a woman is one because she's older is kinda ageist. No. I'm suggesting that there's great risk that comes when dating older women as a youthful, naive (we're all naive), idealistic twenty-something-- a concern that, you know, would worry a parent. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Achromatic 04/29/12 8:06:00 PM #89: |
Yo Westbrick dog I don't mean to interrupt but a parent's job isn't to tell a young man how to live his life it is to have the trust in their own ability to raise him to guide him towards good decisions in his love life, and the fact the father disrespected that boundary puts him in the wrong regardless of intention.
Chris out. -- http://firsthour.net/screenshots/suikoden-2/suikoden-2-luca-blight.JPG The Cult of Personality. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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SERPERlOR 04/29/12 8:08:00 PM #90: |
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
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Achromatic 04/29/12 8:09:00 PM #91: |
From: SERPERlOR | #090 Yeah, that was a total fail =P -- http://firsthour.net/screenshots/suikoden-2/suikoden-2-luca-blight.JPG The Cult of Personality. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dark Young Link 04/29/12 8:16:00 PM #92: |
Westbrick posted...
The bolded part cracks me up. Thus far, User's posted no reason for us not to like his father other than "he's an overly-rational ass" (I quality I happen to find endearing) and "he doesn't understand." "But yeah...zero respect, no support in any way other than money, and demoralizing me. In the last 5 years, anytime I came to him with any problem he would just curse me off and then walk away or hang up on me." Yeah, that's some parenting. And even if he were a flawed human being, he's still his father, and just about every father cares deeply about his children. Oh I see what mistake you're making. You think that being a parent is some sort of title, or badge. It aint. Being a parent just means you impregnate someone or get impregnated and the lifeform you made didn't die in the 9 months being in the mother. Plenty of people can do this, caring about their child has nothing to do with it. Add in the fact that there are serious concerns about dating older women, and I find his parents in a deeply sympathetic situation. I feel that you're relying too much on "logic" and not enough on psychology. Place yourself in his dad's position for a second. What concerns? There's concerns about dating younger women. There's concerns about dating white women, black women, anyone at all! List a potential suitor and I'll list a "concern" about them. It probably won't be reasonable, but it'll be a concern. If I was a father, I'd be worried about the gold digging aspect at first, but I would also trust that I raised my son well enough to make his own decisions. If I met the woman, got to know her a little bit and saw nothing wrong then I'd give my blessing. If not, I'd state my concerns, but inform my child that he'd have my blessing regardless. Maybe I'm too soft? No. I'm suggesting that there's great risk that comes when dating older women as a youthful, naive (we're all naive), idealistic twenty-something-- a concern that, you know, would worry a parent. There's literally a risk in dating anyone. It involves hoping a person you don't really know isn't secretly a psychopath that isn't going to murder you. Or hell, they could have an angry ex that they don't know about. Or they could be a gold digger. Where do we draw the line? There is no on on this planet that trusting isn't a risk of some sort. The only person you can trust is yourself, everyone else you have to give a chance to screw you over. So why is an older woman much more risky than dating anyone else? -- http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/darkyounglinkshieldpngyg.png Sleep? F*** sleep, Toonami is on!!- GenesisSaga ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Westbrick 04/29/12 9:14:00 PM #93: |
Achromatic posted...
Yo Westbrick dog I don't mean to interrupt but a parent's job isn't to tell a young man how to live his life it is to have the trust in their own ability to raise him to guide him towards good decisions in his love life, and the fact the father disrespected that boundary puts him in the wrong regardless of intention. Chris out. So according to you, any time a parent strongly disapproves of something their child is doing, this warrants dissolution of the relationship? What kind of fantasy land are you living in? This isn't at all what a parent's job is, nor how a child should respond to parental concern. Dark Young Link posted... "But yeah...zero respect, no support in any way other than money, and demoralizing me. In the last 5 years, anytime I came to him with any problem he would just curse me off and then walk away or hang up on me." Yeah, that's some parenting. Come now. It's clear that his father disapproves of many of the decisions his son has made, particularly this (rather serious) relationship decision, and it's equally clear that User's being a bit indulgent here. His father sounds like a perfectly good parent, just a tight ass. Oh I see what mistake you're making. You think that being a parent is some sort of title, or badge. It aint. Being a parent just means you impregnate someone or get impregnated and the lifeform you made didn't die in the 9 months being in the mother. Plenty of people can do this, caring about their child has nothing to do with it. ...No. You're grossly underestimating how strong the biological connection between parent and child is. Yes, there are exceptions, but I can guarantee with a strong degree of certainty that his father, based on what we know, cares deeply about him. What concerns? There's concerns about dating younger women. There's concerns about dating white women, black women, anyone at all! List a potential suitor and I'll list a "concern" about them. It probably won't be reasonable, but it'll be a concern. There are no serious concerns about dating black women over white women, not any that would get a father seriously upset. Besides, this is an empty hypothetical. There are legitimate concerns with dating an older women, which we've gone over countless times now. If I was a father, I'd be worried about the gold digging aspect at first, but I would also trust that I raised my son well enough to make his own decisions. Sounds just like what a typical twenty-something with no parenting experience would say. As a parent, you put faith in your kids, but you are always concerned about them. Always. And if you feel that they're making a very poor decision about something important, you will always try and help steer them onto the right path. There's literally a risk in dating anyone Risk vs. reasonable risk. Where do we draw the line? At the line of what a father figure would feel to be "reasonable." For example: that his son is being used by a desperate older figure who's using him for emotional and/or financial security. Again, where you would personally draw the line compared to where his father would draw the line is irrelevant. His father is concerned, has good reasons for his concerns, and that should be enough not to act like a spoiled immature kid and end one of the most important relationships in a person's life. -- World Peace, ONE NIGHT ONLY http://www.abload.de/img/laffxgj7l.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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CoolCly 04/29/12 9:30:00 PM #94: |
Westbrick, why are you becoming such a terrible user. You seem so promising when you first arrived.
It's like you are just trolling with this stuff now. -- The batman villians all seem to be one big joke that batman refuses to laugh at - SantaRPG ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Achromatic 04/29/12 9:38:00 PM #95: |
There was no strong disapproval, his father was inappropriate about it. The TC said his mother disapproves too but that there wasn't a deal breaking issue there. Perhaps you should think this through more.
-- http://firsthour.net/screenshots/suikoden-2/suikoden-2-luca-blight.JPG The Cult of Personality. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dark Young Link 04/29/12 10:01:00 PM #96: |
Westbrick posted...
Come now. It's clear that his father disapproves of many of the decisions his son has made, particularly this (rather serious) relationship decision, and it's equally clear that User's being a bit indulgent here. His father sounds like a perfectly good parent, just a tight ass. I love how you assume that the father is always right for no reason, just as you're assuming User is being a brat .When exactly is making your son feel like crap ever a proper way to raise them? Not to mention it's really not as serious as you or his father is making it out to be. This is the kind of **** that goes down when you date an ex-con, not an older woman. ...No. You're grossly underestimating how strong the biological connection between parent and child is. Yes, there are exceptions, but I can guarantee with a strong degree of certainty that his father, based on what we know, cares deeply about him. Caring isn't enough, you have to show that you care as well. If your son feels that you don't care about him, can you truly say that you're doing a good job? His actions are far from proper, and far from what a caring person would do. There's a difference between tough love and "Do what I say or else". There are no serious concerns about dating black women over white women, not any that would get a father seriously upset. Besides, this is an empty hypothetical. There are legitimate concerns with dating an older women, which we've gone over countless times now. If you think there are no "serious concerns" about interracial dating then you must live in a magical world in which no one is racist or stereotypes. Yes there are "legitimate" concerns with dating older women. There are also "legitimate" concerns dating younger women. So where does that leave...well... anyone who isn't a gay male? If I was a father, I'd be worried about the gold digging aspect at first, but I would also trust that I raised my son well enough to make his own decisions. Sounds just like what a typical twenty-something with no parenting experience would say. No s****, 23 year olds typically aren't ready for fatherhood. You asked me to put myself in his shoes, not put myself in his shoes 20 years from now. As a parent, you put faith in your kids, but you are always concerned about them. Always. And if you feel that they're making a very poor decision about something important, you will always try and help steer them onto the right path. Yes, but at the same time you don't force them to things either. Trying to assert your authority to your child when they're an adult just makes you a tool in this case. -- http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/darkyounglinkshieldpngyg.png Sleep? F*** sleep, Toonami is on!!- GenesisSaga ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dark Young Link 04/29/12 10:02:00 PM #97: |
At the line of what a father figure would feel to be "reasonable." For example: that his son is being used by a desperate older figure who's using him for emotional and/or financial security. Again, where you would personally draw the line compared to where his father would draw the line is irrelevant. His father is concerned, has good reasons for his concerns, and that should be enough not to act like a spoiled immature kid and end one of the most important relationships in a person's life. Last I checked, User is 18+. That means his parents no longer get to tell him how he lives his life. They can give advice, but they can't say "we forbid you to do this". Well they can, but User doesn't have to obey anymore. What proof is there that this older woman is using him? Besides the fact that she's older than him? You assume his father is "concerned" but you have to be open to the chance that he's just a dick. The value of a parent's input depends on how good of a parent they were in their child's life. Good parents who take care of their kids tend to get listened to. Neglectful parents tend to hold little weight with their words. You're basically saying that User is"immature" for not obeying someone who has consistently failed him and has shown he doesn't give a damn about his child's problems in the past. Like I said earlier, he can't just turn around and start trying to be a father now. He had his chance, he blew it. The price paid for that is that your child doesn't listen to you anymore. You put far too much into this whole parent = caring and all knowing thing. Out of curiosity, how old are you anyway? -- http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/darkyounglinkshieldpngyg.png Sleep? F*** sleep, Toonami is on!!- GenesisSaga ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Metal_DK 04/29/12 10:07:00 PM #98: |
i once dated a girl 7 years older than me (she was 30, i was 23). Honestly i still miss her sometimes. Very mature about things and had common sense. Wasn't the hottest girl around, but was pretty ****in great.
-- Pride. Passion. Excellence. Metal_DK Currently playing: Sengoku Rance, Starcraft II ... Copied to Clipboard!
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VincentLauw 04/30/12 4:47:00 AM #99: |
Regardless of whether you think this is a good idea or not
calling him immature is kind of retarded. If you really think you should still listen to everything your parents tell you well past the age of 18 you're the one who is immature, not him. He can make his own mistakes (if they are mistakes at all), learning from them is what's being an adult is all about. Following your parents will isn't. Now respect, that's something different. But respect has to come from both sides when we're dealing with adults. -- http://i.imgur.com/Gh17K.gif ... Copied to Clipboard!
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OmarsComin 04/30/12 4:56:00 AM #100: |
Could not be more wrong. Older women are more sure of themselves.
YOUNGER women are desperate. depends on what you mean. I'm sure in the "general life" category that's true. in the "deciding which dude to bang" category, absolutely not. -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npHDxSvwCE0 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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