Board 8 > i just witnessed the most hilarious breakup outside of subway

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MRNlCEWATCH
04/27/12 9:35:00 AM
#1:


highlight

guy: im sorry that i f***ing like anal sex. im sorry that you dont love me enough to do it
girl: (who is crying uncontrollably) its not...my... fault... i have... a tight...butthole
guy: youre damn right you have a tight a******! you are the biggest b**** in the world!

i love america

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Achromatic
04/27/12 9:37:00 AM
#2:


Amazing.

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DeathChicken
04/27/12 9:38:00 AM
#3:


This is the part where you jump in heroically, strike a Superman pose and declare "Fear not, I will have anal sex with you!"

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Ayuyu
04/27/12 9:38:00 AM
#4:


external image

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MRNlCEWATCH
04/27/12 9:38:00 AM
#5:


this literally happened in literal public which is the amazing part

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foolm0ron
04/27/12 9:38:00 AM
#6:


I bet the makeup anal sex was great

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NoName999
04/27/12 9:40:00 AM
#7:


DeathChicken posted...
This is the part where you jump in heroically, strike a Superman pose and declare "Fear not, I will have anal sex with you!"

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MarvelousGerbil
04/27/12 9:41:00 AM
#8:


XD

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RyokIes
04/27/12 9:42:00 AM
#9:


literally amazing

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_Carlemagne_
04/27/12 9:49:00 AM
#10:


best story ever

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Chrono1219
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azuarc
04/27/12 9:50:00 AM
#11:


MRNlCEWATCH posted...
this literally happened in literal public which is the amazing part

I literally can't believe that you literally heard this in literal public.
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Rad Link 5
04/27/12 11:48:00 AM
#12:


I SAW YOUR ANUS, WOW!
RIGHT THEN I TOOK A VOW!

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Robazoid
04/27/12 11:50:00 AM
#13:


Well this certainly beats out the breakup I overheard on a bus ride home one Wednesday afternoon.

Girl (completely deadpan): I just don't love you anymore (Guy beside her sobbing uncontrollably)

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CycloRaptor
04/27/12 11:53:00 AM
#14:


what an alpha

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TheCodeisBosco
04/27/12 11:56:00 AM
#15:


LMAO, wow. I thought **** this weird only happened at McD's.

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ScorpioVS
04/27/12 12:57:00 PM
#16:


I literally can't believe that you literally heard this in literal public.

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WhoopsyDaisy
04/27/12 1:09:00 PM
#17:


You can get the guy off faster if you have a tight butthole, and even more so if you clench it. My favorite technique is clenching on the way up and loosening on the way down and taking all of him. She just needs to learn how to accept his disco stick (push out like you're pooping; you need to relax your muscles and make your butthole bigger).

Of course, if the guy thinks he can just pull her pants down and stick it in, he's obviously never had a dick in his butt and is revealing an embarrassing lack of knowledge of how buttholes work.

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HeroDelTiempo17
04/27/12 1:10:00 PM
#18:


From: WhoopsyDaisy | #017
You can get the guy off faster if you have a tight butthole, and even more so if you clench it. My favorite technique is clenching on the way up and loosening on the way down and taking all of him. She just needs to learn how to accept his disco stick (push out like you're pooping; you need to relax your muscles and make your butthole bigger).

Of course, if the guy thinks he can just pull her pants down and stick it in, he's obviously never had a dick in his butt and is revealing an embarrassing lack of knowledge of how buttholes work.


If only you had been there, you could have saved their relationship.

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WhoopsyDaisy
04/27/12 1:15:00 PM
#19:


"EXCUSE ME MISS! I am an expert in getting buttsexed and I am here to help. Have you considered pushing out with your butt in order to accept his dick with less resistance? And sir, have you tried warming her up first with fingers, or progressively larger toys? Are you using lots of lube?"

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JDTAY
04/27/12 1:17:00 PM
#20:


Damn, Whoopsy, that was the biggest TMI I've ever experienced in my life, after already experiencing a pretty big one in the OP.

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Punnyz
04/27/12 1:19:00 PM
#21:


considering how vulgar he was, I'm surprised he referred to it as "Anal Sex"

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CycloRaptor
04/27/12 1:20:00 PM
#22:


user punnyz literally surprised at the unlikely details in another persons story

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Punnyz
04/27/12 1:22:00 PM
#23:


Thats not it

I just found it funny thats the only part that caught me off guard, I'm not pointing out the unlikeliness!

stop being a drunk

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__Smurf__
04/27/12 1:23:00 PM
#24:


eh that really happened? Its like a seth macfarlane comedy sketch thats just slightly too direct to be funny.

Though to happen IRL you'd have to wonder wtf is going on in those peoples heads. How does a conversation line like that suddenly become relevant discussion outside of subway.

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Punnyz
04/27/12 1:33:00 PM
#25:


From: __Smurf__ | #024
How does a conversation line like that suddenly become relevant discussion outside of subway.




"Man I love foot long subs. IT REMINDS ME OF MY FOOTLONG

THE ONE YOU"RE GONNA GET ANALLY TONIGHT"

"But I don't want to"

then cue the sentences Sess said

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__Smurf__
04/27/12 1:36:00 PM
#26:


From: Punnyz | #025
"Man I love foot long subs. IT REMINDS ME OF MY FOOTLONG

THE ONE YOU"RE GONNA GET ANALLY TONIGHT"

"But I don't want to"

then cue the sentences Sess said


y'know thats probably exactly how it happened. It was her fault, she should have brought him somewhere that served less phallic food.

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Emporer_Kazbar
04/27/12 1:39:00 PM
#27:


From: __Smurf__ | #024
eh that really happened? Its like a seth macfarlane comedy sketch thats just slightly too direct to be funny.


So exactly like a Seth MacFarlane sketch?

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Punnyz
04/27/12 1:39:00 PM
#28:


lets see here

"I love big macs, REMINDS ME OF MY BIG MAC....etc"

"I love burritos, REMINDS ME OF...etc"

"I hate Long John Silvers Fish Tacos, just like YOUR fish taco, which is why YOU"RE GETTIN ANAL TONIGHT"

I don't think theres a place where this COULDN"T have come up

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Emporer_Kazbar
04/27/12 1:42:00 PM
#29:


From: Punnyz | #028
I don't think theres a place where this COULDN"T have come up


KFC?
Five Guys?
Arby's?
Carl's Jr.?

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Panthera
04/27/12 1:49:00 PM
#30:


From: Emporer_Kazbar | #029
KFC?


"I'll pass on the chicken fingers, the fat goes right to my butt"
"At least SOMETHING gets to go to your butt"

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Emporer_Kazbar
04/27/12 1:51:00 PM
#31:


From: Panthera | #030
"I'll pass on the chicken fingers, the fat goes right to my butt"
"At least SOMETHING gets to go to your butt"


The same could be said of any food, so that doesn't count.

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WhoopsyDaisy
04/27/12 1:52:00 PM
#32:


Arby's? Seriously? Roast beef sandwiches. Come on.

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CycloRaptor
04/27/12 1:54:00 PM
#33:


w0w kazbar

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Emporer_Kazbar
04/27/12 1:54:00 PM
#34:


From: WhoopsyDaisy | #032
Arby's? Seriously? Roast beef sandwiches. Come on.


Name one person in the world who has ever referred to their penis as a roast beef sandwich.

And you right now doesn't count.

And if you're referring to her ass as the "buns", that's too much of stretch.

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WickIebee
04/27/12 1:58:00 PM
#35:


You know, only you guys at B8 can turn some topic I didn't find funny entering, to something I can crack up to. I just wanted you all to know that.

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MrGreenonion
04/27/12 1:59:00 PM
#36:


From: Emporer_Kazbar | #029
Five Guys?


"Man I love having Five Guys!

Just like you're gonna feel like you had five guys when I finish with your butthole tonight!"

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Furious Fura
04/27/12 2:14:00 PM
#37:


Emporer_Kazbar posted...
From: WhoopsyDaisy | #032
Arby's? Seriously? Roast beef sandwiches. Come on.
Name one person in the world who has ever referred to their penis as a roast beef sandwich.

And you right now doesn't count.

And if you're referring to her ass as the "buns", that's too much of stretch.


he could just say that her vagina looks like a roast beef sandwich and that is why he wants anal obviously

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CommodoreTN
04/27/12 2:18:00 PM
#38:


I am literally speechless right now

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ctesjbuvf
04/27/12 3:07:00 PM
#39:


oh god

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