[The lights come on, revealing a living room. Moses is too cool, leaning beside the apartment's light-switch. Dusty is slouched on the couch. Richard is on his knees in front of a table with two large lines of cocaine.]
DUSTY Can I turn the TV back on? The new fall line-up's about to start.
MOSES I dunno, is Dick gonna--
RICHARD I told you not to call me that.
MOSES I'm sorry, Dick, but I thought we had a bet.
RICHARD Why'd you have to make the lines so big?
MOSES Children and presidents have done bigger.
DUSTY Don't worry, nobody will know about it either. Nobody but us.
RICHARD Uh-huh.
MOSES But everybody will if you don't hurry.
RICHARD Why?
MOSES I got an idea: I'm gonna record this...
RICHARD What the what?
[Moses searches his pockets.]
MOSES ...crap, left my phone at home. I'll be back in a second.
[Moses leaves. Dusty turns on the television.]
RICHARD That wasn't part of the bet... [Richard tries to lock the door, but it doesn't work.] ...what is going on here? The door won't lock.
DUSTY On the bright side, illicit drug-use isn't allowed on YouTube.
RICHARD Yes, and cheating isn't allowed on take-home exams...
DUSTY Just saying--
RICHARD ...and besides, it's not the internet I'm scared of finding out...
DUSTY Oh, because of--
RICHARD ...I can't let that happen Dusty, help me out.
DUSTY A bet's a bet.
RICHARD I said help me, not remind me.
DUSTY He's going to make you anyway...
RICHARD Jesus.
DUSTY ...but you can beat him to the punch.
RICHARD How so?
DUSTY You gotta do it anyway, right? So do it before he comes back to tape it.
RICHARD He won't believe I did it then.
DUSTY I'll vouch for you.
RICHARD He'll go Mad Moses again.
DUSTY What other chance do you have?
RICHARD Can't we just hide some of it?
DUSTY You were curious about what it's like anyway, right?
RICHARD Yeah, but--
DUSTY Look, what's the worst that can happen?
RICHARD Death.
DUSTY You'll be fine, trust me... [A muffled voice is heard from outside the door.] ...he's coming, hurry.
[Richard accepts his fate with difficulty. He leans over and snorts half of a line. He comes up in pain with powder on his nose.]
RICHARD Jesus sky-diving Christ--
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http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/3492/eponaharr.jpg Nominate SuperNiceDog's Guru-choice, then Epona.
[The apartment-door is kicked down; police officers charge into the living room with pistols drawn.]
OFFICER HARBAUGH Freeze, you're under arrest.
OFFICER MONDRAGON That means jail, motherf***ers.
[Freeze! Now fast-forward -- no, wait, rewind to the beginning of the week. This would be a good time for pre-show announcements...] Scene 1.1 [...Governor Tank Gates delivers a televised press conference at the police station. His name is plastered everywhere. The officers are nearby.]
TANK Thank you, and good evening Texas. I hope you're enjoying the end of your summer. I got a call this morning that really frosted my flakes, so I called this press conference to share with you the greatest success I've led this administration. The DEA makes over 30,000 arrests each year across our grand nation, where our state runs victory laps around the rest. Historically, our problems with illegal substances came from south of the border, but we were embarrassed to learn a criminal has been producing record-levels of drugs in this very city. With some top-class investigating from the best officers our state has to offer, however, we were able to put this puppy down. Officer Harbaugh... [Officer Harbaugh opens a box that is packed with cocaine.] ...within forty-eight hours of starting Operation Drugs Are Bad...
MONDRAGON M'kay?
[Harbaugh disapproves.]
TANK ...we were able to identify the sixty-four year old man responsible: Antonio Flowers. We raided his home at 5:15 AM and captured him this morning with minimal struggle. Truth be told, we caught him in the act of sex at that time. He was 100% off-guard, as were we. We confiscated many drugs, most notably over five hundred pounds of cocaine. That trash is expected to be worth $8,000,000 to its brain-dead consumers. This already made for a great victory...but this also happened within our city-limits -- my home-town, even -- so we continued to prove our point. Officer Mondragon... [Officer Mondragon pulls out a small bag.] ...let me ask you, Texas: have you ever seen a drug lord's jewels before? [Mondragon shakes the contents out of the bag; two balls drop with a fleshy thud.] Let the record show they were only removed out of self-defense...the defense of America. So Texas, we can no longer "just say no" to our drug-problems. We don't have to D.A.R.E. to dream about a cleaner future. If you're behind me on this issue, all you have to do is put your foot down... [Tank stomps on a testicle.] ...and remember to thank Tank. Go Cowboys.
[Tank closes his press conference with photo-ops featuring the two officers -- the first celebrating the mess on the sole of Tank's shoe. Dusty and Richard are watching from their couch.]
DUSTY Your dad is BAD-ASS.
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http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/3492/eponaharr.jpg Nominate SuperNiceDog's Guru-choice, then Epona.
So, I've posted the first portion of my next play since you guys had my back for ONLINE FIGHTING and I'm looking for constructive criticism; I just finished the first act of this piece tonight. If you liked what you read and wish to read the rest of Act One, leave your e-mail address so I can e-mail you the rest of what I have done. If you didn't like this, challenge me and tell me why -- I need to know what lost your interest before continuing into Act Two!
Also, for the record, I have never done cocaine.
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http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/3492/eponaharr.jpg Nominate SuperNiceDog's Guru-choice, then Epona.
Thanks! If you want to read the rest of Act One, post or message your e-mail address and I'll send what I've got.
The governor's definitely over the top; I want him to be feared by everyone in the play AND show above all else which side of the drug-war he's on, no matter the cost. His speech also explains and basically defines what you need to know about Antonio Flowers, a character I plan to add in Act Two...!
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http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/3492/eponaharr.jpg Nominate SuperNiceDog's Guru-choice, then Epona.