Wouldn't you argue that the fact that you're straight is like, a pretty significant part of who you are?
Like, that your attraction to the opposite sex, and everything that comes with it, has played a pretty important role in steering your life in the direction it has gone.
Not necessarily defined you, but it's important enough to where you could admit that, had you been born gay, you'd be quite a different person?
Not inferior or necessarily bizarre, but different?
Yes?
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no, but that's because I'm a hermit and it wouldn't affect my day to day life if I were gay either, I'd just be whacking off at something different. for most people it would obviously have a large impact, and its significance is pretty obvious when you see how people broadcast their sexuality in the most constant and awkward way possible(straight people actually seem to be worse than gay people about this, straight guys especially. it's like if they somehow go 5 minutes without somehow implying that they are in fact straight they've lost some kind of game)
not really, no. my upbringing wouldn't be drastically different, and I'd most likely still enjoy the things I do, and have the same outlook on life I have right now. I'd just like it in the butt.
From: the icon ownz all | #006 not really, no. my upbringing wouldn't be drastically different, and I'd most likely still enjoy the things I do, and have the same outlook on life I have right now. I'd just like it in the butt.
there haven't been any girls you've liked or significant relationships that've altered the course of your life in any way?
People in your area view gay people and straight people as being exactly the same?
You wouldn't have struggled at all with your sexuality as a child/teenager?
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I would say... no, after a lot of thought. I don't think my sexuality has played such a significant role in my life, and I'd probably be in the same place I'm in now if I liked girls.
Mer_Mer_Yes_Mer posted... I'd say that's a pretty significant change.
Didn't say it wasn't!
Also, the more I think about it, everyone here really needs to reevaluate the situation with their friends. I can think of a few I'd lose if I turned out to be gay.
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there haven't been any girls you've liked or significant relationships that've altered the course of your life in any way?
That's a bit of a strange, and simplistic, question. I've had numerous relationships that have undoubtedly helped me grow as a person, but I've always been secure in who I am, what I want, and what I enjoy. You seem to want to draw a correlation between, say, a six month relationship with my Filipino ex-girlfriend and something like my love of Philosophy, and trying to say without that relationship, I wouldn't love Lao Tzu.
From: Mer_Mer_Yes_Mer | #008 People in your area view gay people and straight people as being exactly the same?
You wouldn't have struggled at all with your sexuality as a child/teenager?
SlymDayspring posted... discovering you are gay at a young age can have a pretty big impact, psychologically. particularly if you are growing up in a hostile environment.
which, if you went to high school, you were.
Maybe.
Around here, only one of my close friends actually came out, and nobody really seemed to care or say anything outside of "Really? You?"
Of course, outside of the circle, there was probably some hostility, but I wouldn't know about it.
-- I like how each new topic you make reveals such varied facets of your idiocy. - foolmo Now this is entertainment!
From: Mer_Mer_Yes_Mer | #008 there haven't been any girls you've liked or significant relationships that've altered the course of your life in any way?
People in your area view gay people and straight people as being exactly the same?
You wouldn't have struggled at all with your sexuality as a child/teenager?
i know this is directed at icon but it really applies to anyone
1) the only relationship i'd qualify as truly significant was with a girl i met in college. i was prepared to propose to her before she broke up with me but dating her didn't change my life permanently. my career choices were already made at that point.
2) i'm sure there are plenty of homophobic people in my area, but my parents aren't and none of my bosses or teachers have been, so i see no reason why my life would change. my circle of friends from both childhood and college include gay guys so they would accept me as well.
3) there is really no way of answering this without actually being gay. i have literally no idea what it would be like to have that kind of "secret"
who you are as a person isn't comprised of just your career
and yeah, I guess this is probably a bit too abstract for a lot of people to think about, I guess it's hard to imagine what struggling with ones sexuality is like when you were born with the default, accepted sexuality
Yes, though my friends and family would be cool with it. But out of curiosity where's the follow up, part 2? The opening question seems kinda like its got something more to it?
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if smartmuffin had some kind of out of body experience where he was suddenly gay for a day I think his head would literally exploded like 5 minutes into it
Around here, only one of my close friends actually came out, and nobody really seemed to care or say anything outside of "Really? You?"
Of course, outside of the circle, there was probably some hostility, but I wouldn't know about it.
really? you? is pretty much how all my friends reacted....but my parents/family do not like gay people, i have to hear people constantly talk about how i am a sin against god, etc. and even my friends, especially in high school, said lots of awful things about gay people even if they individually were fine with me once I was out. The point is that, even if everyone you actually care about accepts you when you are out, dealing with that secret for a long time out of fear of what everyone will think of you can have a big effect on people. A lot of gay people still don't fully accept themselves after they have come out because of how society makes them feel about themselves. You also have about 10% of the options as straight people as far as relationships.
I mean, my point isn't trying to be like 'wah gay people have it so hard pity us', just that you would probably be affected by it more than you think.
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From: Biolizard28 | #029 Especially in this one where he's asking a legitimate question and everyone's missing the f***ing point.
i'm pretty sure everyone gets the point, it's just impossible to answer without knowing what it's like to be gay
all i'm saying is that my parents and friends would accept me, and that no girlfriend has significantly impacted my choices in life (choices that matter anyway), so i'd probably be the same
but then again, maybe my personality and interests and goals would be completely different if i were gay. there is literally no way of knowing.
I do know if I was gay that I wouldn't be married right now, which is a major source of my happiness. But, I can't say for sure that I wouldn't have found something else that would make me equally happy or almost as happy.
I'd like to think that I would find ways to be happy no matter what my situation in life turned out to be.
From: TimJab | #035 i'm pretty sure everyone gets the point, it's just impossible to answer without knowing what it's like to be gay
all i'm saying is that my parents and friends would accept me, and that no girlfriend has significantly impacted my choices in life (choices that matter anyway), so i'd probably be the same
but then again, maybe my personality and interests and goals would be completely different if i were gay. there is literally no way of knowing.
I don't really think I'd be all that different. I live in a really liberal area and my high school was very active in promoting tolerance so either I wouldn't have been bullied if I was gay or I would've just not let people find out, and not letting people find out what's going on in my head is something that is really easy for me and comes naturally.
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From: KingBartz | #037 I do know if I was gay that I wouldn't be married right now, which is a major source of my happiness. But, I can't say for sure that I wouldn't have found something else that would make me equally happy or almost as happy.
I'd like to think that I would find ways to be happy no matter what my situation in life turned out to be.
again, it's not a question of would your life be better or worse.
It's a question of would your life be different.
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From: Mer_Mer_Yes_Mer | #030 it's funny cause literally any gay guy in the world would admit that their life would be different had they been born straight >_>
Oh, definitely. I probably wouldn't have been depressed as a teenager, leading to me being more social and active, and involved during school. I might've actually gone to college, had a meaningful relationship, gotten a good job, etc... Stupid depression.
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From: Mer_Mer_Yes_Mer | #028 so homophobes don't exist in Canada?
Again, you're being overly simplistic. I live in a much more accepting, urban environment than you do -- I have two gay family members, I went to a high school with an openly gay teacher, some of the more popular kids in school were gay. If I was gay, I likely wouldn't have faced the hostility you, and others, have.
From: Mer_Mer_Yes_Mer | #030 it's funny cause literally any gay guy in the world would admit that their life would be different had they been born straight >_>
How is that funny? How are their claims any more legitimate than mine or TimJab's?
From: SlymDayspring | #034 really? you? is pretty much how all my friends reacted....but my parents/family do not like gay people, i have to hear people constantly talk about how i am a sin against god, etc. and even my friends, especially in high school, said lots of awful things about gay people even if they individually were fine with me once I was out. The point is that, even if everyone you actually care about accepts you when you are out, dealing with that secret for a long time out of fear of what everyone will think of you can have a big effect on people. A lot of gay people still don't fully accept themselves after they have come out because of how society makes them feel about themselves. You also have about 10% of the options as straight people as far as relationships.
I mean, my point isn't trying to be like 'wah gay people have it so hard pity us', just that you would probably be affected by it more than you think.
this
I guess I was wrong in assuming straight people would be able to put themselves in this position for the sake of answering this question
>_>
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Yeah I think I'd be measurably different. I definitely would have had some different experiences, and I honestly don't know how much struggling with being a gay man in America would change me.
Liquid Wind posted... he's stating what he perceives as fact under the guise of a question
Thing is, people perceive this as a question centered entirely around themselves. "I'm a neckbeard who likes video games, how would my sexuality change that?" It seems like a lot of you take other people out of the equation. Would your friends still stick by you? Would your parents accept you? Would your best friend in the entire world keep you at a safe distance because he's afraid you want his anal virginity?
I find it really hard to believe that people think that turning out gay wouldn't change any of that.
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Of course I'd be different if I was gay. Same way if I grew up white. It might not be obvious, but you're definitely affected in some way. I know high school would be different for a gay kid. I remember people in my grade saying "this is so gay" whenever they didn't like something, or calling someone a "gag" as an insult. It's so casually used, it must really sting for a kid who's actually gay and having to listen to others say that day after day.
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