Current Events > The "If it was an older woman and younger guy" argument is so annoying

(+) Yeah! (+)

When you also think that's gross. Cause it's the argument you can never get past even if you don't agree with it. People just assume they won the argument after they said it and never come back to respond to you after you say "that's also super weird and gross".

I've literally never had someone follow up after saying it's also gross.

It's just an excuse for men not to feel grosd about never growing up and always liking kids. And I say kids, cause at 33, 18 year olds already look like kids when you've matured in that area properly. And believe me, there's tons of places I haven't matured properly. But, I always looked put for younger people and never preyed on them. Which, honestly, is the most important part of maturity in my perspective.

Why do you think hustle culture targets 18-23 year olds? It's cause they know they'll fall for more shit. They're inexperienced with how manipulative everything in the world actually is.

Now, give me your best one sentence write off showing you don't actually even want to attempt to understand you're own understanding of this because it would be inconvenient for your lustfulness primal habits

love is love, man

FL81 posted...

love is love, man

Already got one with that last paragraph lol

No you got it wrong. Those topics are there to piss YOU off.

Its programmed into our dna

Supersex420 posted...

No you got it wrong. Those topics are there to piss YOU off.

Bro. This isn't about CE lol. Get your head out the sand Supersex4-.....oh ....I see what happened

Tbh, I dont know why other people care who someone dates as long as its legal

LinkPizza posted...

Tbh, I dont know why other people care who someone dates as long as its legal

Cause we care about people other than ourselves and we have younger people in our families we don't wanna see get taken advantage of?

There's nothing wrong with two adults dating.

Why are you so concerned with who fucks who?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Cause we care about people other than ourselves and we have younger people in our families we don't wanna see get taken advantage of?

And? The point is just because theyre young doesnt mean they will get taken advantage of. Thats just assuming they will So, again, I dont understand why people care who someone dates or has sex with as long as its legal

Gobstoppers12 posted...

There's nothing wrong with two adults dating.

When I see people say stuff like this, I believe you believe it and Im not thinking "Oh, this guy just wants to lust over younger chicks his whole life". I just think you don't care enough to actually deep dive it. I do. I really do. And believe me, when you start having these conversations with people irl, you realize just how deep shit gets.

LinkPizza posted...

And? The point is just because theyre young doesnt mean they will get taken advantage of. Thats just assuming they will So, again, I dont understand why people care who someone dates or has sex with as long as its legal

Not everyone dies in a war, so ehy do you care people die in wars? Why you assuming someone will die in war just cause they're going? Just don't think about it.

Yeah. Obviously not everyone is gonna get hurt. The numbers are bad enough to take note of tho.

The thing is because I care Im paying attention to things you don't because you don't care. Plus I grew up around all women and constantly hear about how things actually go in a lot of situations. And the older person is never the person losing.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/0/5/AAUQbgAAEMjl.jpg

They were supposed to actually bang in the movie according to the director but that got cut cuz gross.

Point is, WHO. FUCKING. CARES. who is dating whom as long as they're consenting adults.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

when you start having these conversations with people irl

Bro when did you start having conversations with people irl about this? My brother's gf was 19 and he was 31 when they met. Now they have a child together and are living happily. My nephew's first birthday is a month from now.

Who the fuck are you to tell them that they did something gross? Why do you hate happiness?

TC is just upset that *rolls dice* ...uhh, what the fuck does 14 mean again?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Cause we care about people other than ourselves and we have younger people in our families we don't wanna see get taken advantage of?

Yeah, but what age is being taken advantage of? Also, we sometimes see that the older one gets smitten, and the younger one is just enjoying being doted upon and likely living a more upscale lifestyle for a bit. Sure, it usually doesn't work out, but I wonder who actually gets truly hurt more often.

So, are the people in your stated demographic not responsible for any of the decisions they make? Or just the bad ones?

Should you not be tried as an adult until 24, since as you said, they're "inexperienced and easily manipulated?"

What about people you don't care about, or those from demographics you don't agree with? How do you feel about Rittenhouse? Was he old enough to make his own decisions at the time? Or was the fact that he was a kid absolve him of wrongdoing?

What about those who are genuinely just stupid? When do you differentiate "inexperience" with "ignorance"? If someone is taken advantage of, and hurts someone else as a result, are they no longer culpable as they were misled?

Either you have autonomy as a human, or you don't. The distinction as to "being an adult" has to be made at some point or society would cease to function. So, I want to you to define, in your terms, who is and isn't allowed to act with autonomy and we will go from there. Because it honestly sounds to me like you have a savior complex and that's also a form of being manipulative in my mind.

Gobstoppers12 posted...

Bro when did you start having conversations with people irl about this? My brother's gf was 19 and he was 31 when they met. Now they have a child together and are living happily. My nephew's first birthday is a month from now.

Who the fuck are you to tell them that they did something gross? Why do you hate happiness?

bsp77 posted...

Yeah, but what age is being taken advantage of? Also, we sometimes see that the older one gets smitten, and the younger one is just enjoying being doted upon and likely living a more upscale lifestyle for a bit. Sure, it usually doesn't work out, but I wonder who actually gets truly hurt more often.

See. This is the problem too. The exceptions always feel like Im targeting them. When Im actually targeting the men specifically targetting younger women maliciously. You guys are saying "turn a blind eye to everyone because I (or someone I love) myself wasn't a bad guy".

And BSP, I personally have told you I don't see your relationship as sketchy. >_>. That's not what this is. It's just Id have to write a book to cover the exceptions I believe in. And that's to say because I don't do that, I can't really blame ya'll for feeling part of generalizations.

xXfireglzXx posted...

So, are the people in your stated demographic not responsible for any of the decisions they make? Or just the bad ones?

Should you not be tried as an adult until 24, since as you said, they're "inexperienced and easily manipulated?"

What about people you don't care about, or those from demographics you don't agree with? How do you feel about Rittenhouse? Was he old enough to make his own decisions at the time? Or was the fact that he was a kid absolve him of wrongdoing?

What about those who are genuinely just stupid? When do you differentiate "inexperience" with "ignorance"? If someone is taken advantage of, and hurts someone else as a result, are they no longer culpable as they were misled?

Either you have autonomy as a human, or you don't. The distinction as to "being an adult" has to be made at some point or society would cease to function. So, I want to you to define, in your terms, who is and isn't allowed to act with autonomy and we will go from there. Because it honestly sounds to me like you have a savior complex and that's also a form of being manipulative in my mind.

Jesus Chris, there's no way Im getting into all this side shit pulling away from the real core conversation lol. Maybe Ill attempt to in a moment. But it would pull away from what Im focusing on atm

Lost_All_Senses posted...

See. This is the problem too. The exceptions always feel like Im targeting them. When Im actually targeting the men specifically targetting younger women maliciously. You guys are saying "turn a blind eye to everyone because I (or someone I love) myself wasn't a bad guy".

And BSP, I personally have told you I don't see your relationship as sketchy. >_>. That's not what this is. It's just Id have to write a book to cover the exceptions I believe in.

Oh, I know you don't see mine as sketchy. Despite the age gap, she was 28 when we started dating.

I wasn't being defensive but pointing out that the older person might be getting hurt just as often. And also that the younger one might very well be using the older one as often, just for different reasons.

bsp77 posted...

Oh, I know you don't see mine as sketchy. Despite the age gap, she was 28 when we started dating.

I wasn't being defensive but pointing out that the older person might be getting hurt just as often. And also that the younger one might very well be using the older one as often, just for different reasons.

You're still talking exceptions. Do you honestly think the numbers are comparable for when the younger and older person gets hurt. If you're talking genuine people like you, yeah. But Im not just as willing to just let the millions of malicious older people, men and women, slip by just because genuine people also exist. I don't know why genuine people always step in front of the bullet for malicious people >_>. I guess Ive probably done that before too tho

Lost_All_Senses posted...

When Im actually targeting the men specifically targetting younger women maliciously

Lost_All_Senses posted...

It's just an excuse for men not to feel grosd about never growing up and always liking kids. And I say kids, cause at 33, 18 year olds already look like kids

That doesn't sound like you're targeting people who are malicious. That sounds like you think 33 year olds who date 18 year olds are guilty of "always liking kids"

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Not everyone dies in a war, so ehy do you care people die in wars? Why you assuming someone will die in war just cause they're going? Just don't think about it.

Yeah. Obviously not everyone is gonna get hurt. The numbers are bad enough to take note of tho.

The thing is because I care Im paying attention to things you don't because you don't care. Plus I grew up around all women and constantly hear about how things actually go in a lot of situations. And the older person is never the person losing.

The analogy doesnt work, as they are different Not everyone in a war chooses to go to war. If they chose to go, then you can still care. But its not your choice. Like when someone else chooses to date someone. As long as its legal, who cares? Thats my point Woild you rather them be alone and miserable because you dont like who theyre dating (especially due only to age) Because that doesnt sound like you care to me

And are the numbers really bad. As bsp said, sometimes, the older one gets taken advantage of But even couples of similar ages can take advantage of each other. And that happens all the time But were not trying to stop them from getting together

And I pay attention. But I also understand that people can like/love who they want Youre probably paying too much attention to the wrong things, so you cant see everything else And if you think the older person is never the person losing, you cant be paying that much attention

Gobstoppers12 posted...

That doesn't sound like you're targeting people who are malicious. That sounds like you think 33 year olds who date 18 year olds are guilty of "always liking kids"

I can't really go on if you don't accept that I added the context after the original statement left it out. That's just you wanting to win an argument rather than have a conversation. Im human, Im not gonna cover all the context in my first attempt. If you can't accept me adding it after being pressed further, there's nothing I can do.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

You're still talking exceptions. Do you honestly think the numbers are comparable for when the younger and older person gets hurt. If you're talking genuine people like you, yeah. But Im not just as willing to just let the millions of malicious older people, men and women, slip by just because genuine people also exist.

I tend to think most people are inherently decent despite the horrible things they sometimes do. Maybe I shouldn't, but I feel giving the benefit of the doubt has generally served me well.

And I don't think the majority of people in big age gap relationships have any truly malicious intent. They might be using each other to a certain extent, but I also think that is ultimately true of most relationships. We are all using each other to serve our needs in some manner. Now that sounds cynical...

I guess I am a cynical optimist.

LinkPizza posted...

The analogy doesnt work, as they are different Not everyone in a war chooses to go to war. If they chose to go, then you can still care. But its not your choice. Like when someone else chooses to date someone. As long as its legal, who cares? Thats my point Woild you rather them be alone and miserable because you dont like who theyre dating (especially due only to age) Because that doesnt sound like you care to me

And are the numbers really bad. As bsp said, sometimes, the older one gets taken advantage of But even couples of similar ages can take advantage of each other. And that happens all the time But were not trying to stop them from getting together

And I pay attention. But I also understand that people can like/love who they want Youre probably paying too much attention to the wrong things, so you cant see everything else And if you think the older person is never the person losing, you cant be paying that much attention

I feel like we might believe a similar thing but Im just more focused on the times that they're preyed on and want to discuss that it's ok to pry into that. And you're right, my analogy was bad and I shouldn't of tried. I suck at those lol.

Let me try this. And it's my fault for not putting it thus way earlier.

Why everytime I try to talk about the maliciousness that can happen, I can never get anyone to talk about it with me. They always just say I should ignore those bevause not everyone is malicious. I can't be anxious about people preying on younger people? I can't be scared that people might take advantage of those I love because not everyone is malicious? I can't discuss it?

bsp77 posted...

I tend to think most people are inherently decent despite the horrible things they sometimes do. Maybe I shouldn't, but I feel giving the benefit of the doubt has generally served me well.

And I don't think the majority of people in big age gap relationships have any truly malicious intent. They might be using each other to a certain extent, but I also think that is ultimately true of most relationships. We are all using each other to serve our needs in some manner. Now that sounds cynical...

I guess I am a cynical optimist.

In modt topic Im right on board with you with that mindstate. Im sure you seen my optimism shine through for people in other areas. It's just that I feel like I can never get through and talk about the pitfalls of this when online. I can irl. But online people always act personally attacked

Seething

Supersex420 posted...

Seething

It hasn't been 25 minutes. Your signature is a liar. At least mine holds up.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


100%. But what circumstance do you see shut down more with soulless one liners and less discussed?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

It hasn't been 25 minutes. Your signature is a liar. At least mine holds up.

So you can read a headline

Supersex420 posted...

So you can read a headline

Better than you can get a joke.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I feel like we might believe a similar thing but Im just more focused on the times that they're preyed on and want to discuss that it's ok to pry into that. And you're right, my analogy was bad and I shouldn't of tried. I suck at those lol.

Let me try this. And it's my fault for not putting it thus way earlier.

Why everytime I try to talk about the maliciousness that can happen, I can never get anyone to talk about it with me. They always just say I should ignore those bevause not everyone is malicious. I can't be anxious about people preying on younger people? I can't be scared that people might take advantage of those I love because not everyone is malicious? I can't discuss it?

The thing is you dont have to ignore it. But you also should put every age gap relationship into the same category Sometimes, no one is using the others. Sometimes, either the older or younger one is using the other. And sometimes, theyre both using each other But just because one of thems younger doesnt mean someone is being taken advantage of Thats all if you want to look closer at a relationship, thats fine. But you shouldnt immediately call it bad

So your issue is specifically that they're too young? You think people that young can't make informed decisions for themselves?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Why everytime I try to talk about the maliciousness that can happen, I can never get anyone to talk about it with me. They always just say I should ignore those bevause not everyone is malicious. I can't be anxious about people preying on younger people? I can't be scared that people might take advantage of those I love because not everyone is malicious? I can't discuss it?

Because at that point, you're choosing to see the worst possible outcome. You can absolutely talk about that. But don't generalize all of the relationships. It's not a guarantee to happen, so I say stay out of it unless you know for sure that someone is being taken advantage of.

Why do people assume the younger one is the one being taken advantage of?

You think someone who's young and attractive doesn't know they're young and attractive and won't use that to seduce someone older?

LinkPizza posted...

The thing is you dont have to ignore it. But you also should put every age gap relationship into the same category Sometimes, no one is using the others. Sometimes, either the older or younger one is using the other. And sometimes, theyre both using each other But just because one of thems younger doesnt mean someone is being taken advantage of Thats all if you want to look closer at a relationship, thats fine. But you shouldnt immediately call it bad

No one asked me if I wasn't already doing that, it was just assumed I wasn't. Because when anyone says they have any reservations about age gaps, everyone automatically assumes the most dramatic takes.

I've even multiple times showed I don't just assume the worst about those arguing against me. Yet, it's still assumed that I have the most dramatic takes, just cause I didn't state otherwise.

I actually agree with what you're saying.

Maybe it's on me for expecting the internet not to be the internet. Like, obviously everything I say is gonna be perceived in the most dramatic way. That's how shit works here. I just wish it didn't:/

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Yeah. And it's kind of on me for letting the topic immediately stray away from my main point and dragging me in. I pile a lot into OPs and understand how I make it easy to avoid my main argument I started with. Im just really passionate about this because Im helping raise kids who are getting to that age. And without going into detail, ths is already relevant in my family and personal.

Conflict posted...

No TC is talking about people who pop up in topics about an old man dating a barely legal woman and go "but what if the genders were reversed, would you still call it creepy"

Tbh, I probably wouldnt it creepy either way I think it would take more than their ages to make it creepy to me

Lost_All_Senses posted...

No one asked me if I wasn't already doing that, it was just assumed I wasn't. Because when anyone says they have any reservations about age gaps, everyone automatically assumes the most dramatic takes.

I've even multiple times showed I don't just assume the worst about those arguing against me. Yet, it's still assumed that I have the most dramatic takes, just cause I didn't state otherwise.

I actually agree with what you're saying.

It might be how youre writing it Part of the problem could be we only see text on here. Not to mention that it can be hard to get a read on people when youre talking to this many people online at once So, maybe its just the way they are reading it, or the words you use

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Better than you can get a joke.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Better than you can get a joke.

Lol, I'd always laugh at a side quest joke... but rhe rewards were good

LinkPizza posted...

Tbh, I probably wouldnt it creepy either way I think it would take more than their ages to make it creepy to me

It might be how youre writing it Part of the problem could be we only see text on here. Not to mention that it can be hard to get a read on people when youre talking to this many people online at once So, maybe its just the way they are reading it, or the words you use

Yeah. Like I said in the post you probably didn't see before this, I shouldn't expect to be given the benefit of the doubt. I have been here for 10 years. But it's not like I follow others here enough to understand where most are coming from immediately either.

Im not saying it's inherently gross. Im just saying I wish we discussed the gross side of things more instead of always pushing away the conversation.

Also, shallower side note. I just realized I don't think I ever had a topic go near 50 this fast lol. A quarter of the posts are me, but I still count it :3

Edit: btw. An extra thing.

If anyone is paying attention to Milf Manor thing going on right now. Im seeing plenty of others say it's gross and not just for the son thing. But because it's older women preying on inexperienced men and TLC purposely set it up for that to happen.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Yeah. Like I said in the post you probably didn't see before this, I shouldn't expect to be given the benefit of the doubt. I have been here for 10 years. But it's not like I follow others here enough to understand where most are coming from immediately either.

Im not saying it's inherently gross. Im just saying I wish we discussed the gross side of things more instead of always pushing away the conversation.

It might not be because of your. But because a lot of people who do talk about it normally talk about how its bad just because of the age. So, when anyone brings it up, it sounds like they are saying its bad just because of the age So it could end up being a hard topic to get started

LinkPizza posted...

It might not be because of your. But because a lot of people who do talk about it normally talk about how its bad just because of the age. So, when anyone brings it up, it sounds like they are saying its bad just because of the age So it could end up being a hard topic to get started

I feel like a lot of people here have nuanced opinions on it. It's just there's more of the ones hounding over young girls those those that have nuanced opinions on it >_>. They're usually on an undercover version of "Just shut up and stop making me try to understand why I am how I am".

Most the time people pry into those not completely neglectful of why some like big age gaps in their relationships, they have a lot of nuanced takes. Because, there's no risk in diving into yourself when you're not potentially the weirdo lol. But, you see a lot of responses that are people very obviously not wanting to understand why exactly they find older women off putting and the youngest women they can legally say they're attracted to on record the most desirable.

I mean, when you're going by the legal limit and that's all you stand on. You're pretty much saying if 15-16 was legal, you'd also move your line to that. You're admittingly not thinking for yourself when you're only retort is that the law says you can. Is that not gross?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

"Just shut up and stop making me try to understand why I am how I am".

This line tells me a lot, and none of it is about myself.

Gobstoppers12 posted...

This line tells me a lot, and none of it is about myself.

Do you not realize when you take the easiest route and never actually have any depth to your conversating? >_>.

You literally had to of purposely avoided all my posts over the last 10 years to imply that I don't dig into myself. Most my posts are me taking in what others say and backpedaling when someone actually makes an effort to correct me with valid criticism. I guess if you never give valid criticism, you probably wouldn't pick up on people who actually take it in. Even half of this topic is people giving me valid criticism and me backpedaling for not being more precise initially. Im not trying to fight them. Im taking in what they're saying. Im fighting you because you give nothing for me to take in.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

But, you see a lot of responses that are people very obviously not wanting to understand why exactly they find older women off putting and the youngest women they can legally say they're attracted to on record the most desirable.

I won't say the "youngest women they can legally say they're attracted to". However, I have had to think about why I was mostly pursuing women 5 to 15 years younger than me after my divorce. I was 40yo and had been with my ex since I was 19 (and never dated prior). I felt like I missed out on my 20s and 30s, plus most people my age seemed boring af to me. Basically, I was immature and fucked up.

So I do think it is fair to question why someone keeps pursuing people who are younger. I wasn't being malicious or anything, but I also wasn't in a healthy place.

The funny thing is that once I started being better from a mental standpoint, I starting dating my now fiance who is over 15 years younger. But the fact that she was younger was an ironic coincidence.

That might have been TMI...