Current Events > Is refusing to date a fat person fatphobic?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I get called superficial and shallow when I say I am not into bigger men. I do not hate them and would gladly be friend with them, but is it fatphobic to exclude them from my dating pool?
---

I dont know but if so im guilty

---

no fats no femmes

Who says you're shallow for not dating fatties anymore? What kinda bait is this?

---

yes but who cares?

---

No because being fat is usually a choice that can be changed.

---

of course not lol

Guide posted...

Who says you're shallow for not dating fatties anymore? What kinda bait is this?

People on lgbt group. They called me superficial and shallow because I excluse fat men from my dating pool.
---

Part of me wants to say that if you're particularly limited by what you find attractive, you're not really in control of yourself

---

Nobody has ever called you fatphobic. You're just an idiot who thinks this fabricated anecdote is supposed to be some big trump card against the transphobia argument

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Part of me wants to say that if you're particularly limited by what you find attractive, you're not really in control of yourself

huh

wat

ROOTFayth posted...

huh

wat

Seems straight forward. It amounts to letting things like disgust reactions control your aesthetic sensibilities. But there is nothing wrong, on the other hand, with valuing beauty... Whatever that is for you, if it's not fat people so be it.

---

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Seems straight forward. It amounts to letting things like disgust reactions control your aesthetic sensibilities. But there is nothing wrong, on the other hand, with valuing beauty... Whatever that is for you, if it's not fat people so be it.

You're getting dangerously close to "why don't you just choose to be pan?"

---

as much as not dating someone outside of your preferred gender is sexist. I mean, technically, it is. Sure.

But what's the alternative? If you don't find x group sexually attractive, just don't be a dick about it and focus on non-x people.
---

Here's where it gets difficult. You might not find a larger body type attractive. That is most likely routed in fatphobia, as it is just a body that is larger than normal. However, if you completely ignore talking to someone and getting to know someone because they are fat is fatphobic. I guess it's a matter of are you not attracted to that person after really thinking about it/getting to know them somewhat or are you just going to ignore them because they are fat?

---

Obesity isnt something you're born with.

---

Oh please TC you are obviously hiding a deep seeded hatred from fat people, I know that when you dine out and see a large man gorging himself on a cheeseburger, you feel repulsed and immediately puke.

Check your thin privilege you fatphobe.

Sarcasm aside, I love chubby girls, even BBWs, just not the extra large ones, like the ones where you cant even hide your stomach with modest clothing. But yez chubby gals are great.

---

That is most likely routed in fatphobia, as it is just a body that is larger than normal.

That's oversimplifying it. A tall bodybuilder's body is larger than normal, too.

---

probably fine to ignore them on a dating site, but I don't think I'd ever ignore someone who's talking to me because I find them unattractive

No as long as you give them the same treatment as everyone else.

---

Mareen posted...

No because being fat is usually a choice that can be changed.

this

---

i couldnt date somebody who is (excessively) fat because i thoroughly enjoy hiking, running, etc and personally want a partner who is in shape to do those things with me

it doesnt mean i like them any less as people, but someone not in decent shape simply would not work for what i want in a partner

---

I'll lay my cards face up on the table here: I absolutely fucking love fat girls. Flirted with, chased, dated, and bedded more fat girls over the years than I can remember with clarity. And yes, I know that 99% of CE won't get it, but you know what? That's cool. It's not compulsory (or at least, it shouldn't be) to like or dislike anyone or anything. And it'd be absurd, not to say downright unreasonable, to expect everyone to share the same tastes and preferences as ourselves.

You like the things you like, and you don't like the things you don't. Simple as, and fair enough. I'm in no position to accuse anyone of being "shallow" for not wanting to date someone fat, because I place just as much stock in physical attraction and first impressions as most other guys; my aesthetics just happen to be a bit different, that's all.

Besides, if other guys knew what they were missing, I'd have a lot more competition. XD

---

People who are extremely obese clearly can't take care of themselves so why would you want to be in a relationship with someone like that

---

Guide posted...

You're getting dangerously close to "why don't you just choose to be pan?"

i struggle with sexuality like a lot of people, lol. that happens to be my struggle.

---

Perascamin posted...

People who are extremely obese clearly can't take care of themselves so why would you want to be in a relationship with someone like that

philsov posted...

don't be a dick about it

---

MedeaLysistrata posted...

i struggle with sexuality like a lot of people, lol. that happens to be my struggle.

That's inverse of the usual, but don't feel that I hold it against you. Just calling as I see, not, like, tagging and marking.

---

Not just with overweight people, but it's disingenuous and hurtful to date someone you're not even physically attracted to. Emotional connection is significant, but don't try to say looks aren't important, because they are.

---

Hayame Zero posted...

Not just with overweight people, but it's disingenuous and hurtful to date someone you're not even physically attracted to. Emotional connection is significant, but don't try to say looks aren't important, because they are.

So what if my first gf was a 9/10 model and now no one I get now can compete?

---

MedeaLysistrata posted...

So what if my first gf was a 9/10 model and now no one I get now can compete?

what does that even mean, just because your first gf was 9/10 model doesn't mean you don't find anyone else attractive anymore except 9/10 models+

MedeaLysistrata posted...

So what if my first gf was a 9/10 model and now no one I get now can compete?

"Be lonely", "settle with a less than 9/10", or "keep searching" are the basic 3 options.
---

MedeaLysistrata posted...

So what if my first gf was a 9/10 model and now no one I get now can compete?

I mean when 9/10 model level girls are chubby theyre still is pretty hot when they put on 50 pounds. I think thats the good part about big girls is that theres less competition but a woman with nice features is still hot after putting on weight.

---

ROOTFayth posted...

what does that even mean, just because your first gf was 9/10 model doesn't mean you don't find anyone else attractive anymore except 9/10 models+

haha i'm just pushing buttons I guess. I think I have a skewed view of what constitutes attractive, which is exactly why I don't want my aesthetic preferences to dominate my romantic life.

I don't know. Someone said don't date someone you aren't attracted to, but how attracted to someone do you have to be?


---

Badmotorfinger posted...

Nobody has ever called you fatphobic. You're just an idiot who thinks this fabricated anecdote is supposed to be some big trump card against the transphobia argument

Yeah. Sure we never ever heard anyone in the history of humanity being called superficial and shallow for not wanting to date fat people. It never happened
---

MedeaLysistrata posted...

haha i'm just pushing buttons I guess. I think I have a skewed view of what constitutes attractive, which is exactly why I don't want my aesthetic preferences to dominate my romantic life.

I don't know. Someone said don't date someone you aren't attracted to, but how attracted to someone do you have to be?

just attracted enough to be able to have sex with them imo

No.

I dont find chicks wish shaved heads attractiveam I shaveheadaphobic? Cmon guys.

---

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Part of me wants to say that if you're particularly limited by what you find attractive, you're not really in control of yourself

That's how sexuality works. People don't choose attraction, they only choose whether to make a move or not.
---

Sure. I don't know how you could rule out all fat people. Some of them have to match you in some way. How are we even defining fat? You aren't born fat or skinny-sexual.

---

SSJPurple posted...

I dont find chicks wish shaved heads attractiveam I shaveheadaphobic?

yes you bigoted monster


---

SSJPurple posted...

No.

I dont find chicks wish shaved heads attractiveam I shaveheadaphobic? Cmon guys.

I mean, it's pretty superficial to judge people by single traits. Your friends and lovers are amalgamations of many traits. Would you get married and divorce your wife if she shaved her head?

---

YUNASBFGIR posted...

Here's where it gets difficult. You might not find a larger body type attractive. That is most likely routed in fatphobia, as it is just a body that is larger than normal. However, if you completely ignore talking to someone and getting to know someone because they are fat is fatphobic. I guess it's a matter of are you not attracted to that person after really thinking about it/getting to know them somewhat or are you just going to ignore them because they are fat?

I tried having sex with someone who got too much weight and I was not able to keep an erection. The body wants what the body wants.
---

ROOTFayth posted...

just attracted enough to be able to have sex with them imo

sure but I view sex as something you do with the other person, for me it has little to do with how attracted I am. but I've never had sex with a fat person so maybe I wouldn't like it. I don't think attraction matters much for sex... Attraction is usually the initial spark that gets you interested in someone. and by attraction i mean looks

---

fatphobic is such a stupid word

What about lipophobic? From the Greek. Or gordophobic sounds good as well.

---

hockeybub89 posted...

I mean, it's pretty superficial to judge people by single traits. Your friends and lovers are amalgamations of many traits. Would you get married and divorce your wife if she shaved her head?

Of course not, but Im definitely not going to approach a stranger with a shaved head and ask her out.

My hypothetical wife shaving her head would not be grounds for divorce , and this is a bad comparison.

Of course Im not going to see somebody Im already in love with the same way I would a stranger

---

M_Live posted...

I wouldn't be able to have sex with someone I'm not physically attracted to. I guess thats where we all differ because I know plenty of people who'd jump in the sheets with anything to get their rocks off

Sure. But it's clearly a matter of degree. There are average looking women whom you're not attracted to, but might have sex with, no?

---

I actually find how shallow people claim to be amusing because America should have a massively negative birth rate and a divorce rate north of 90 if people actually stuck to their superficial convictions. Fat and ugly American couples are as far as the eye can see.

---

I would ask myself who gives a shit. Im not going to be unhappy because of society. If youre attracted to a fat girl go for it. Personally Ive had great times with fat women. But if youre not attracted to fat women dont force yourself to be with her even if its only her weight coming between you. This stuff should be common sense