Current Events > it's been three days since my apple slicer broke

(+) Yeah! (+)

eating apples like a caveman over here and i'm about at my wit's end.

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it's just messier and inferior to sliced apples in almost every way. the only time i don't pre-slice is when im going camping or something and i just throw a few apples in my bag

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my new one arrived today and i can eat apples like a civilized man once again. praise the universe

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Lmao man up son, I eat apples like my ancestors and their ancestors before them

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Your knife broke? That sucks dude but who only has one knife?

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Balrog0 posted...

Lmao man up son, I eat apples like my ancestors and their ancestors before them

i did for the last three days and im p sure my chest is hairier now.

3PiesAndAFork posted...

Your knife broke? That sucks dude but who only has one knife?

no you silly. one of these fabulous inventions

https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/5767f1f1-e154-46c6-95d8-764f9c08252e.2cc520b461cc959818f37ababb3524a3.jpeg

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Ngl I've been seriously looking into getting one and I'm going to because of this topic

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I just use a knife and cut them into slices

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i just pay a guy to pre-chew all my apples and spit the mush into my mouth bird style.

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Smackems posted...

I just use a knife and cut them into slices

using that thing is like using eight knives at once

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Lol at not swallowing apples whole.

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Giant_Aspirin posted...

using that thing is like using eight knives at once

Woah.. That's six more than what the thing I said do is

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I'm actually starting to prefer cutting apples with a knife lately because I end up having to cut off bits of the core anyway. And some apples just have a really funky-shaped bottom that makes them more annoying to cut with an apple slicer than without.
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monkmith posted...

i just pay a guy to pre-chew all my apples and spit the mush into my mouth bird style.

is this the next step in apple eating evolution? i think it might be

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Giant_Aspirin posted...

using that thing is like using eight knives at once

You could also just use a wood chipper.

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Kircheis posted...

I'm actually starting to prefer cutting apples with a knife lately because I end up having to cut off bits of the core anyway. And some apples just have a really funky-shaped bottom that makes them more annoying to cut with an apple slicer than without.

oh man the struggle is so real with lopsided apples. i've gotten pretty good at balancing my wrist when slicing tho, which has actually helped my disc golf game.

edit: life hack - turn the apple upside down and rest it on the top if the bottom is lopsided

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ThePieReborn posted...

You could also just use a wood chipper.

and just sit on the other end with my mouth wide open? i like the way you think.

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Giant_Aspirin posted...

and just sit on the other end with my mouth wide open? i like the way you think.

It's the Max Power way.

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Smackems posted...

Woah.. That's six more than what the thing I said do is

who the fuck needs more than one knife to cut an apple
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Giant_Aspirin posted...

using that thing is like using eight knives at once

Just admit you have no knife skills.
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Must have shit teeth and jaw if eating apples naturally is a hassle.

Cuticrusader09 posted...

Just admit you have no knife skills.

i didn't start to cook my own food until like a year ago so, yeah, my knife skills are only like level 2 or 3.

or or or

my knife skills are kick ass because i can wield eight at once

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Trumpo posted...

Must have shit teeth and jaw if eating apples naturally is a hassle.

man invented tools to make life easier. if we dont use our tools we might as well just reduce ourselves to live with the beasts.

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Giant_Aspirin posted...

i didn't start to cook my own food until like a year ago so, yeah, my knife skills are only like level 2 or 3.

or or or

my knife skills are kick ass because i can wield eight at once

You must be great at knifey-spoony.

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This a joke topic right? If you have a knife then thats your apple slicer. Even a butter knife would cut them in pieces

EricDraven59 posted...

This a joke topic right? If you have a knife then thats your apple slicer. Even a butter knife would cut them in pieces

i mean im being a little facetious just because i like having fun, but i will swear by apple slicers until the day i die

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I just don't eat apples. If it's offered maybe but I don't really find them tasty.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

I just don't eat apples. If it's offered maybe but I don't really find them tasty.

for real? do you know what types of apples you've tried? if it was something wack like red delicious then yeah, i don't blame ya. but try something good like an evercrisp, a honeycrisp (expensive but tasty), or a jazz apple, or even a gala, fiji or pink lady. i also really like macintosh but those are a bit tart and not crisp enough for some.

i eat an apple every day. they're darn tasty, they keep more than a week in the fridge no problem, they're relatively inexpensive year 'round and im pretty sure they help me poop.

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Don't shame apples by using a slicer on them

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I just generally don't like eating fruit and apples have a cumbersome shape. I could slice them.

Or I could just not eat them. I prefer very small fruit that are full of juice and soft.

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BloodMoon7 posted...

I prefer very small fruit that are full of juice and soft.

like berries? i love me some berries. i buy blueberries every week and eat 'em every morning. raspberries and blackberries are darn good too but those don't keep long at all. strawberries are legit too.

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I only eat green apples

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You're missing out on all them antioxidants homie

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Wait people actually buy slicers for apples. Lol wtf

Granny Smith is so dope, tastes like sour Skittles

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