Poll of the Day > question for those happily married

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eating4fun
02/17/21 12:41:40 PM
#1:


How long together with your SO before you felt certain to spend your life with them?

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Mead
02/17/21 12:42:33 PM
#2:


I knew right away. Pretty much the moment I met her.

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Fam_Fam
02/17/21 12:42:57 PM
#3:


not married but going on 7 years in a week. getting married next june (2022)
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JOExHIGASHI
02/17/21 12:43:59 PM
#4:


3 years

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SunWuKung420
02/17/21 1:24:51 PM
#5:


I proposed after 9 months so 6 months.

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myghostisdead
02/17/21 1:52:56 PM
#6:


I dunno but each time we broke up before marriage nobody else seemed right. Maybe it wasn't the together that proved it but it was how we felt while separated.

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eating4fun
02/17/21 6:50:46 PM
#7:


Ok, I ask because I'm in my first relationship at a kinda late age, it's been 8 months, we both think we should marry, and I worry if that's too early. Thanks for your responses.

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JigsawTDC
02/17/21 6:52:22 PM
#8:


eating4fun posted...
Ok, I ask because I'm in my first relationship at a kinda late age, it's been 8 months, we both think we should marry, and I worry if that's too early. Thanks for your responses.

There's no one size fits all that works for everyone. If you both feel ready and confident then that's really all you need. You don't need to use others a barometer.
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HornedLion
02/17/21 6:56:09 PM
#9:


Mead posted...
I knew right away. Pretty much the moment I met her.

This.

She loved how I would save her from all sorts of issues. And then life became peaceful. But... women dont like stability... they like excitement. So she began creating issues for me to save her from. You have no idea how many times I compared myself to Mario and said, If the princess keeps getting captured by Bowser, theres a fucking problem!

Eventually I got tired of someone treating me like a Pokmon, and constantly throwing me into battles just to see if I still love them enough to fight them out.

Im still with her... but I do seek emotional fulfillment from other women. Sorry, but not sorry.


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Mead
02/17/21 6:57:09 PM
#10:


HornedLion posted...
This.

She loved how I would save her from all sorts of issues. And then life became peaceful. But... women dont like stability... they like excitement. So she began creating issues for me to save her from. You have no idea how many times I compared myself to Mario and said, If the princess keeps getting captured by Bowser, theres a fucking problem!

Eventually I got tired of someone treating me like a Pokmon, and constantly throwing me into battles just to see if I still love them enough to fight them out.

Im still with her... but I do seek emotional fulfillment from other women. Sorry, but not sorry.

welp

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SpeedDemon20
02/17/21 6:59:26 PM
#11:


eating4fun posted...
Ok, I ask because I'm in my first relationship at a kinda late age, it's been 8 months, we both think we should marry, and I worry if that's too early. Thanks for your responses.
Why the rush though? Like what needs to happen but can only happen after you've married? Do you live together yet? How's that been?

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Revelation34
02/17/21 6:59:30 PM
#12:


HornedLion posted...


This.

She loved how I would save her from all sorts of issues. And then life became peaceful. But... women dont like stability... they like excitement. So she began creating issues for me to save her from. You have no idea how many times I compared myself to Mario and said, If the princess keeps getting captured by Bowser, theres a fucking problem!

Eventually I got tired of someone treating me like a Pokmon, and constantly throwing me into battles just to see if I still love them enough to fight them out.

Im still with her... but I do seek emotional fulfillment from other women. Sorry, but not sorry.



https://youtube.com/watch?v=prw2B_03IzY
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wwinterj25
02/17/21 7:02:30 PM
#13:


eating4fun posted...
we both think we should marry

Isn't that all that matters?


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eating4fun
02/17/21 7:20:37 PM
#14:


SpeedDemon20 posted...
Why the rush though? Like what needs to happen but can only happen after you've married? Do you live together yet? How's that been?

Thanks, good questions to consider.

We're actually long distance, but we visit each other 1-2 times a month, and call each other almost everyday. She lives near my parents. I've been trying to relocate to the area. She can't relocate because of work visa complications. She's in the middle of her green card application, which might take a few more years. If I can't relocate soon, the logic is that if we marry, she gets her green card in less than a year, and she could relocate to me.

I wanted to live together before we get married, but now, I feel pretty confident to marry her regardless. We've been through some up and downs, so we aren't just drunk on love.

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ClarkDuke
02/17/21 7:26:51 PM
#15:


my girlfriend and myself were talking about marriage recently. she understandably isn't a huge fan of me impregnating a married woman on the east coast, but she understands the woman at least deserves quality children, ok?

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Kungfu Kenobi
02/17/21 7:46:49 PM
#16:


Not married but it's been over 20 years so fuck it.

It wasn't so much a length of time as a passing of certain milestones. It wasn't apparent all at once that we were going to be compatible on things like housework distribution, eating habits, house guests, when/where/how/what music is to be played, entertainment preferences such as movies* and video games, budget and finances, what is and isn't cheating, sex and sexual proclivities, strongly held political views, work/life balance, sense of humor and a sense of what isn't funny, respect and admiration for each other's interests when those interests aren't necessarily shared, mutual physical and emotional health needs; the list goes on.

*(According to OK Cupid one of the best indicators of a successful relationship is whether or not they have the same view of scary movies. In our case this is something we're very much on the same page with)

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Clench281
02/17/21 7:53:44 PM
#17:


I knew within the first couple months. We got engaged in our third year.

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streamofthesky
02/17/21 8:17:01 PM
#18:


I knew pretty quickly, but didn't want to get married till we were both out of college and I had a good job so we could support ourselves alone. so we got married like 6 years after we started dating.

8 months might be fine, but I'd advise moving in together and living like that for like a year first. Make sure you both really do want to spend the rest of your lives around each other 24/7 before making the big commitment...
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Raddest_Chad
02/17/21 8:40:10 PM
#19:


Mead posted...
I knew right away. Pretty much the moment I met her.
Pretty much this.

It's a crass analogy, but it's sorta like with TV shows. If one has to grow on you, it'll never be one of your all-time favorites, despite enjoying it. Said all-time favorites are something you love right away and just get sucked into.
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dedbus
02/17/21 8:52:03 PM
#20:


eating4fun posted...
How long together with your SO before you felt certain to spend your life with them?
I too have some questions.

Do you exist?

Why you lyin'

Oh you didn't know?
Well you better call somebody.
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IronTusk
02/17/21 9:05:44 PM
#21:


Married 9 years, together 15 years. Knew within 6 months.
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LinkPizza
02/17/21 9:14:58 PM
#22:


Not married (will not get married), but I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. Im not sure how long, though. It was probably when I thought he was gong to leave forever and I wouldnt see him again...

HornedLion posted...
Im still with her... but I do seek emotional fulfillment from other women. Sorry, but not sorry.

Why not break up?
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HornedLion
02/17/21 11:31:20 PM
#23:


LinkPizza posted...
Not married (will not get married), but I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. Im not sure how long, though. It was probably when I thought he was gong to leave forever and I wouldnt see him again...

Why not break up?

We made little carbon copies of ourselves. So we kinda have to at least appear stable for them.

Shit is... I battled people, companies, even government agencies for her ass... I loved her so hard. But she keeps creating problems just to see me take them on. I think shes just bored with being a homemaker, especially during these Covid times, and likes the drama

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LinkPizza
02/18/21 12:51:59 AM
#24:


HornedLion posted...
We made little carbon copies of ourselves. So we kinda have to at least appear stable for them.

Not really. I was watching something that showed how staying together with someone you love for the kids is actually a bad idea. They can pick up on the feeling between you two, and will usually think it's their fault. Even when you tell them they did nothing wrong. They say it better to have two loving homes, rather than one home where the love isn't all there...

The best option is to either fix the relationship or split up. And if you're "seeking emotional fulfillment from other women", it's probably time to split. And that would be best for everyone...
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HornedLion
02/18/21 8:15:51 AM
#25:


LinkPizza posted...
Not really. I was watching something that showed how staying together with someone you love for the kids is actually a bad idea. They can pick up on the feeling between you two, and will usually think it's their fault. Even when you tell them they did nothing wrong. They say it better to have two loving homes, rather than one home where the love isn't all there...

The best option is to either fix the relationship or split up. And if you're "seeking emotional fulfillment from other women", it's probably time to split. And that would be best for everyone...

Honestly... after the last mess she made... if I stay she wont learn. And the best chance we got is a break. She has to learn that Mario doesnt have unlimited lives. Eventually its game over.

Shes gorgeous but one thing life has taught me...

Theres an unlimited supply of hot ass, strawberry blonde, Irish girls willing to date me. So Ill be alright.

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SunWuKung420
02/18/21 10:38:36 AM
#26:


I knew on date 1 that I either marry her or don't bother. I was ok with that.

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ultra magnus13
02/18/21 11:11:03 AM
#27:


eating4fun posted...


Thanks, good questions to consider.

We're actually long distance, but we visit each other 1-2 times a month, and call each other almost everyday. She lives near my parents. I've been trying to relocate to the area. She can't relocate because of work visa complications. She's in the middle of her green card application, which might take a few more years. If I can't relocate soon, the logic is that if we marry, she gets her green card in less than a year, and she could relocate to me.

I wanted to live together before we get married, but now, I feel pretty confident to marry her regardless. We've been through some up and downs, so we aren't just drunk on love.


Couple of warning signs here imo. Not living together, and her making a personal gain with this marriage. That doesn't mean you shouldn't get married, but I'd be real careful. I'd not personally think I would ever marry someone I hadn't lived with (or at least spent more than 50% of my time in cohabitation even if it varied from her place to mine.)
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eating4fun
02/18/21 1:18:18 PM
#28:


ultra magnus13 posted...
Couple of warning signs here imo. Not living together, and her making a personal gain with this marriage. That doesn't mean you shouldn't get married, but I'd be real careful. I'd not personally think I would ever marry someone I hadn't lived with (or at least spent more than 50% of my time in cohabitation even if it varied from her place to mine.)

Yea, I understood those yellow flags. That just adds some risks to things not working out, but I'm still confident. When we visit, we stay 3-7 nights together. Also, our future goals align well. Caveat, she's close knit with her family from her home country, and we've worried that she wants to move back, so that and judging her personality, I really doubt motives for personal gain.

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SpeedDemon20
02/19/21 12:24:01 AM
#29:


I don't really see a reason to rush marriage then. Not really an optimal time for that anyway. Living together for a couple days is easy. But long term is the real test. Do you feel like you have a good understanding of what living with her would be like? You might find out she uses the drying rack to wash her dishes or just throws her socks off at the end of a day instead of putting them in the hamper.

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LinkPizza
02/19/21 1:13:18 AM
#30:


HornedLion posted...
Honestly... after the last mess she made... if I stay she wont learn. And the best chance we got is a break. She has to learn that Mario doesnt have unlimited lives. Eventually its game over.

Shes gorgeous but one thing life has taught me...

Theres an unlimited supply of hot ass, strawberry blonde, Irish girls willing to date me. So Ill be alright.

Yeah. You need to leave the relationship. It would be best to be cordial for the child. But continuing the relationship for the child is bad...
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Revelation34
02/19/21 3:27:08 AM
#31:


SpeedDemon20 posted...
You might find out she uses the drying rack to wash her dishes or just throws her socks off at the end of a day instead of putting them in the hamper.


Anybody that breaks up over either of those is an awful person.
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FrozenBananas
02/19/21 5:26:17 AM
#32:


Raddest_Chad posted...
It's a crass analogy, but it's sorta like with TV shows. If one has to grow on you, it'll never be one of your all-time favorites, despite enjoying it. Said all-time favorites are something you love right away and just get sucked into.

as someone who watches a lot of TV, the shows that have to grow on me are always the best shows. The ones that start out amazing (love at first sight) never satisfy me after a year or 2


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LazyJoker
02/27/21 12:49:28 AM
#33:




Couple years I guess.
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ReggieTheReckless
02/27/21 2:38:34 AM
#34:


right away

I was in an 8 and a half year relationship well before I met my wife, so I knew good vs bad at that point

We dated a year and a half before living together, then were engaged 6 months later, then married a year and a half after that, and this summer will be our 5th wedding anniversary

We've never had static or second thoughts about anything, and there's never been any doubts involved

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Quatrerwin
02/27/21 3:49:43 AM
#35:


It was gradual. For the first few years we were treating it as casual and I nearly got a job on the other side of the country, which would have ended it.
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