Current Events > Some str8 men seem to idealize gay male dating.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I see/hear the opinion being voiced from time to time. This belief that dating as a gay man is like having a bro you also happen to have sex with. And that gay men care less about physical traits than straight women. Which is very wrong on average. Gay men are probably even more specific in what they want than straight women to be honest. Things like height and dick size, especially for a hook-up, are key factors being assessed. If you have a big D then youre far more likely to get with someone who might otherwise be considered out of your league. The same goes if youre tall. Having above average muscle mass is also a highly coveted physical trait. And your face gotta be either pretty or stereotypically handsome in a masculine way (a top who can grow good facial hair will have an advantage with good looking bottoms). There is a reason why body issues are more common with gay men than straight men.

And dating a guy is generally very different from hanging out with your mates. The dynamics are different when romance enters the picture. A gay guy who can be really confident and chill can have high expectations to feel protected by their boyfriend for example.

Just some Sunday thoughts and ramblings

#blogfaqs

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pretty sure a lot of those straight guys are just mysogynistic

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some guy i was friends with in college is now heavily involved in the NYC bear scene, his insta is full of pictures of him and tons of big fat hairy dudes, never wearing shirts & always outdoors (regardless of weather). has he found the gay dating ez mode lifehack where you dont have to worry about body image anymore?

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Romulox28 posted...

some guy i was friends with in college is now heavily involved in the NYC bear scene, his insta is full of pictures of him and tons of big fat hairy dudes, never wearing shirts & always outdoors (regardless of weather). has he found the gay dating ez mode lifehack where you dont have to worry about body image anymore?

No, he's just sidled into a subgroup of gay culture.

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BalanceLost posted...

I see/hear the opinion being voiced from time to time. This belief that dating as a gay man is like having a bro you also happen to have sex with. And that gay men care less about physical traits than straight women. Which is very wrong on average. Gay men are probably even more specific in what they want than straight women to be honest. Things like height and dick size, especially for a hook-up, are key factors being assessed. If you have a big D then youre far more likely to get with someone who might otherwise be considered out of your league. The same goes if youre tall. Having above average muscle mass is also a highly coveted physical trait. And your face gotta be either pretty or stereotypically handsome in a masculine way (a top who can grow good facial hair will have an advantage with good looking bottoms). There is a reason why body issues are more common with gay men than straight men.

And dating a guy is generally very different from hanging out with your mates. The dynamics are different when romance enters the picture. A gay guy who can be really confident and chill can have high expectations to feel protected by their boyfriend for example.

Just some Sunday thoughts and ramblings

#blogfaqs

Bullshit.

Uh... that all sounds exactly like dating women.

I'm not jealous of gay men at all. Gay dating seems like really hard work.

Especially if you are a normal, vanilla monogamous gay. Seems like every gay wants to be a freaky boy.

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Height can still occasionally be a factor for some gay men looking for partners, but not nearly as much women idolize/prioritize it on average.

Plenty of gay men will still give credit to a shorter guy if he's got traits that compensate (handsome face, big muscles, attractive attitude, exceptional sex talent, etc). Basically being anatomically gifted and/or charismatic can still win over a lot of gay men for hook ups and dating. And there's a bunch of convenient ways to get past awkward height difference with sex (which some of us are more familiar with than our credit scores). You're more likely to find gay men willing to cut slack for height than you will with women.

Yes, some gay men will penalize a guy's attractiveness for being less than what they consider an ideal height, but 1) they're not a majority and 2) there's tons of us who won't give a shit about that if the guy's still hot in other ways. Some of us don't even care about height at all, having different priorities like looks, charm, benefits, or equipment size.

If you predominately date gay men and notice most of your partners are really picky about the height of their f buddies...it's usually because you're intentionally or coincidentally seeking guys who share more than a few common dating expectations that some pretentious women tend to have. There's a distinct subset of gay men who basically come across as if they live by rule books written by reality TV divas (because they idolize them). Now there's a common red flag you might want to take into consideration from now on...

That being said, the majority of height queens when it comes to selecting partners is still women by a large margin. Not saying gay men can't also be shallow about traits too, but height is actually one of the things more of us are lenient on by comparison...

I suppose in that regard, that is something for straight men to envy us for. They have my sympathy.

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Tc are you a gay guy yourself?

I think you are extremely accurate in your op.

Body image issues are very rampant in the LGBTQ community in general.

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KINDERFELD posted...

Tc are you a gay guy yourself?

I think you are extremely accurate in your op.

Body image issues are very rampant in the LGBTQ community in general.

...

and with straight people...

Fam_Fam posted...

...

and with straight people...

Not as much for straight men as for gay men though

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Choco posted...

pretty sure a lot of those straight guys are just mysogynistic

As someone who mostly grew out of misogyny and homophobia, it's probably this or homophobia.

I say mostly, cause it's hard for me to give myself credit that I could completely obliterate it. I don't feel it, but I'm not foolish enough to believe that means it's completely gone.

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Keith_Valentine posted...

Bullshit.

holy shit can you just learn how to quote please?

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