Board 8 > I no longer have a felony charge looming over me.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Hey guys. So I'll make a long story short. Back in October when I was searching for the wonderful job I am at now, I broke up with my ex because she was emotionally manipulative and abusive towards me. She threatened to kill herself and destroy all of my things, so I gave her another chance so I could try to break up with her again under better circumstances. Fast forward five days, she purposefully got herself drunk enough to the point of sickness, physically assaulted me as I tried to leave, and after 45 minutes of trying to get out the door, I tried to leave in my car and she jumped on the hood of it while I was backing out. After begging her to get off of it, she eventually did, I waited for her to step back, and then I drove away through my parking lot. She chased me, tripped and fell, and then her leg was run over. I went to jail for 18 hours after that and had a felony charge hanging over my head since.

Today they finally dropped everything down to a simple harassment charge and a $212 fine. I'm free of this horrible stress and uncertainty in my life caused by her. It's a gigantic relief for me now. All I have to vaguely contend with is an outrageous attempt for them to get money out of my insurance company, which will also go poorly for her and her garbage family.

I'm free.

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Damn dude. Sorry you had to deal with that. I'm glad things are on the come up for you

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Damn. Well, glad you seem to be past the worst of it.

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Jesus christ that is absurd

Sorry that all happened to you dude

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Hell's bells, what a truly ridiculous situation. Glad you've come out clean on the other end.

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good to hear there's no felony charge.
bad to hear that there's still any charge or fine on you.

hope you've got charges pressed against her back.


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Thanks guys. I appreciate that. There's a lot more to the story that becomes more outrageous and insane as well, including her and her trash mother attempting to lie at the hearing to further ruin my life until the arresting officer reminded my ex that if she lied then she could be thrown in jail. It turned it from a 5 minute deposition to a 15 minute one.

And the reason it couldn't be dropped immediately is because two random witnesses claimed I drove around with her on the hood of my car which is absolute fucking madness. So they had to make me jump through hoops to get it dropped down like this.

Up to and including making me take anger management classes which were so alarming to me because I couldn't even get into the headspace of someone who could actually benefit from the lessons in those classes.

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Wanglicious posted...

good to hear there's no felony charge.
bad to hear that there's still any charge or fine on you.

hope you've got charges pressed against her back.

Not worth it. The amount I'd get back is negligible compared to the amount I'd have to spend for the lawsuit. She might be scarred for life over this, like irreparably, and I'd rather not be a reason they can point for any further distress.

And a simple harassment charge isn't on my record. It's on the same level as a speeding ticket. So after I pay the fine, it's all done.

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That's very fucked up. Glad things have mostly worked out for you, besides all the time and energy wasted on the bullshit.

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Up to and including making me take anger management classes which were so alarming to me because I couldn't even get into the headspace of someone who could actually benefit from the lessons in those classes.

I (voluntarily) took anger management classes a long while ago, and some of those lessons really helped me. I had a very poor upbringing when it came to dealing with anger, so the things they taught served as tools to help me learn a healthier pattern of behavior.

As for the charges, congratulations. A less sympathetic judge wouldn't have heard a word you said.

Uglyface2 posted...

I (voluntarily) took anger management classes a long while ago, and some of those lessons really helped me. I had a very poor upbringing when it came to dealing with anger, so the things they taught served as tools to help me learn a healthier pattern of behavior.

As for the charges, congratulations. A less sympathetic judge wouldn't have heard a word you said.

First, I'm really glad anger management classes helped you. Going through them and being like... of course to a lot of things in it really made me feel for people who really had anger issues.

Second, the judge was immediately unsympathetic to my ex after she was clearing sobbing in his courtroom for 15 minutes trying to decide whether or not to lie and ruin my life forever and risk getting busted and having to pay for lying. It was only supposed to be five minutes, so the display and her mother saying stuff like "Oh remember to mention this! Remember this!" like irrelevant bullshit that happened over a year ago that had nothing to do with anything. So the judge didn't have the patience and knew something was up with this.

This hearing was after I got the job across the country and so every single person there, including the DA and the abuse counselor were in on not telling her I was moving because they all knew that would set her off entirely and make her even more unhinged. When even the fucking DA is like "We can't tell this chick he's moving" then you know she's messed up.

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I've been told when they tell you they're gonna kill themselves, you just call the cops at that point

But I guess you know now

Glad to hear you're moving on

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Crazy that two random witnesses would both say they saw you driving with her. It's scary sometimes how all it takes is someone else's word to potentially ruin a life.

Curious what the relevance was of them finding alcohol in her blood, but not in yours. Seems like that would make her way more unreliable to the courts.

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wait, she did all this shit and YOU got charged for harassment?

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I've had something similar but thankfully no charges came from it.

Just a rock through my window.

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I'm glad you're free. I hope you write a tell-all expose some day.

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she sounds really hot

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Not worth it. The amount I'd get back is negligible compared to the amount I'd have to spend for the lawsuit. She might be scarred for life over this, like irreparably, and I'd rather not be a reason they can point for any further distress.

And a simple harassment charge isn't on my record. It's on the same level as a speeding ticket. So after I pay the fine, it's all done.

I mean the harassment charge and fine are just thinks you shouldn't have period. Like you're the one harassed, you're the victim, there being any penalty is just wrong.

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Heroic Bigpun posted...

I've been told when they tell you they're gonna kill themselves, you just call the cops at that point

But I guess you know now

Glad to hear you're moving on

Yeeeeah, the thing is one of her emotional manipulation tactics and the only time I ever even raised my voice at her at all in our relationship was when she threatened to kill herself. I should have called the cops when she was attacking me that night too.

AdmittedFelon posted...

Crazy that two random witnesses would both say they saw you driving with her. It's scary sometimes how all it takes is someone else's word to potentially ruin a life.

Curious what the relevance was of them finding alcohol in her blood, but not in yours. Seems like that would make her way more unreliable to the courts.

Yeah, they were standing on the third floor of their patio in our apartment complex when it was pitch black out and they, for whatever fucking reason, said that I drove around with her while she was on the hood of my car. I have pictures I took of her on it like they're from a horror movie with the speedometer at zero. But because of that, they had to take this more seriously.

The alcohol wasn't entered into evidence since it never went to trial. The only thing that was noted was that she was extremely drunk and I didn't drink anything. She was so fucking drunk that I ran over her leg, stopped, looked into my rear view mirror, and she was already standing up--instantaneously--like she was the Terminator.

Lucavi000 posted...

wait, she did all this shit and YOU got charged for harassment?

Yup. Because witnesses said I drove around with her on the hood of my car and they take the biggest charge when an incident like this occurs, which was vehicular assault. Doesn't matter that she clawed at my body enough I had claw marks on me or that she had thrown herself at my car and endangered herself.

It will matter when she tries to make a claim to my insurance to get money. But it's a fat chance they're going to win this one since so much evidence is against her. She also claims I "drug" her with my car (which her story directly contradicted the witnesses too), and she needs to prove I did that knowingly or neglectfully, which is a hard sell considering she had thrown herself on top of my car and I had no way of knowing she was chasing my car.

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Kinglicious posted...

I mean the harassment charge and fine are just thinks you shouldn't have period. Like you're the one harassed, you're the victim, there being any penalty is just wrong.

Well, when you go through it you're willing to settle for paying $212 to forget it was ever there. I had a $0 bail too. Only significant cost was a lawyer who was a family friend and charged me half for a retainer.

Oh, and because I was so rattled from the situation when the cops were there I didn't make as big of a deal about how I was trying to escape from her clawing my face off and that she was jumping on the hood of my car and shit because I didn't want her to get thrown in jail for drunk and disorderly or anything since she was telling me she was getting a new teaching job at the time. So it didn't even occur to me until they said they were arresting me that I was going to jail, and I still had her best interests in mind, even then.

And in response she was ready to send me to prison at the hearing.

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wtf those "witnesses"

glad things worked out okay for you
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Yeah, I nearly lost a gasket when I was at the station and they were writing up the report and I heard one of the officers say that the witnesses told him that I was driving around on with her on top of my hood. I tried to tell the officer that said it but he was kind of a hardass about the whole deal and just told me that this is what they told them, and that's that. It really is that fucked how simple it is for some crappy witnesses to make things that much worse for me.

Fun piece of trivia on how mentally GONE my ex was after this happened. I had texted my mom something about my ex attacking me while I was waiting for her to get off my car, since she had been lying to my family and friends about everything when I tried to break up with her. And then my ex just nonchalantly says "Oh, he's in jail I think." My mom nearly had a heart attack and she was just explaining everything that transpired like she was describing what she had for dinner last night. While my mother was on the other end screaming and crying.

And my mom forced her to call my friends who relayed that she was also talking like a total whack job and then saying to them that she's sick and tired of my mom and my sister blaming her for this. We're reasonably sure she entered an institution after that since her phone was shut off and she deleted all her social media that she was obsessed with. My favorite part was how while I was in jail, she was taking the time to remove me from our Hulu account.

Oh, and why the jail system sucks: they couldn't promise me they'd release me on bail unless I knew the phone number or address of someone who could pick me up. Guess what I didn't happen to know? I didn't know my family or friend's phone numbers by heart and I was going to go stay with my best friend since my parents' living arrangement was messed up. I didn't know the exact address. And you can't just check your phone. The only reason I got let out on bail is because my stepfather called the jail every hour, so they knew someone would be there for me.

Fuck jail. Fuck being there for 18 hours because a judge didn't feel like showing up on a Saturday.

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Glad it worked out for you, mate.

You need to stay clear of that bitch.

Yes, it's a no-brainer but I'm serious.

In Salem in the year 16whatever, you could have dunked her and gotten away with it the way she carried on.

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goddamn. all of this sounds like hell. it's your case man, if you're willing to settle then go for it. it's just all morally abhorrent and if you're satisfied with things ending here, glad to hear it.

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Snrkiko posted...

she sounds really hot

this is actually a good point

are the crazy ones hot?

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Hardcore_Adult posted...

Glad it worked out for you, mate.

You need to stay clear of that bitch.

Yes, it's a no-brainer but I'm serious.

In Salem in the year 16whatever, you could have dunked her and gotten away with it the way she carried on.

Well, I was mandated by the state of Pennsylvania to stay clear of her. And now I'm on the other side of the country. So there is little chance I will ever see her again.

Wanglicious posted...

goddamn. all of this sounds like hell. it's your case man, if you're willing to settle then go for it. it's just all morally abhorrent and if you're satisfied with things ending here, glad to hear it.

At this point I would be suing her to ruin her life, because the monetary value is so little that paying for an attorney will cost more than what I'd get back. It isn't about settling. It's about just making the decision that makes sense, and there's no reason for me to go through all of this stress and awfulness all over again just to stick it to her when she's probably mentally scarred for life as it is and can't offer me anything in return.

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BTW I hate to infer doubt but I am kind of curious how tripping causes you to then run over her leg?

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red13n posted...

BTW I hate to infer doubt but I am kind of curious how tripping causes you to then run over her leg?

I don't know what exactly happened, obviously, since I was staring forward to make sure I didn't hit anyone in front of me. But when I say leg, it was directly above her ankle.

But the best I can understand it right now is that she was running alongside my car, or maybe she grabbed a handle, or something, and then when she fell, she was close enough that her leg sprawled under my back tire, or she bumped against the side of my car and fell or I don't even know.

Physics, man. All I know is that she fell and then my back right tire went over her leg.

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To add even more confusion to it, actually, she claims that the physician told her it looked like her leg was run over twice. Implying that I ran over her, then turned around and ran over her a second time. But there was only even the one bump from my back right tire running over her leg. She also tried to tell my sister a lot of stuff about what they did for her ankle, and as a nurse practitioner, she called her on a lot of stuff she was obviously dishonest about.


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alternatively she was running along, realized she wasn't gonna keep up, and purposefully put her leg there.
i mean that doesn't make any sense but if she's as nuts as you're making her sound, totally makes sense.

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Well, she did routinely threaten to kill herself any time she wanted to "win" an argument, and then when I broke up with her and told her that was part of the reason why she was emotionally abusive, she ran into the bathroom, locked the door, and shook around a bunch of pills, I told her not to do anything stupid and she kept trying to tell me she was going to kill herself. And then she opened the door and then said she didn't do anything, and that I should know she's not going to ever hurt herself.

And it's like... you're proving my point. So I don't know what was going on through her head when she was that drunk, considering she was crazy enough to climb around on my windshield, and the entire reason she drank so much was so I would take care of her (an idea she got from her piece of shit sister who is one of the worst people I know). Wherein she did the fakest passing out and kept moaning and telling me that she needed me to take care of her, being as unsubtle about it as she possible could.

The reason I had tried to leave that night was to call her father to pick her up, but yeah. It escalated. I don't know. A lot of it doesn't make sense to me still, and I doubt it ever will.

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