Current Events > Jubilant ISIS Prisoners Hail American Liberators

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Hexenherz 10/19/19 9:36:50 AM #1:	AIN ISSA, SYRIAAs they streamed out of detention camps in northern Syria following U.S. withdrawal of military support in the region, jubilant ISIS prisoners on Monday hailed their American liberators. We never thought wed see the day when someone would finally stand up for us and free us from the Syrian Democratic Forces clutches, said ISIS member Mohsin Al-Lateef as hundreds of his recently liberated fellow jihadist militants praised President Donald Trump and raised American flags in tribute to their emancipators. For years, we opposed the United States for their intervention in our lands, but now we see that they strongly believe in our mission to establish a caliphate across our ancient lands and put infidels to death. We will honor the U.S. for not only standing down in support of our fight against the Syrian Kurds but for stoking chaos in the region to give us a chance to regroup and re-emerge stronger than ever before. God bless America! At press time, President Trump had shared a video of the liberated ISIS prisoners celebrating and thanked them for their support. --- FFXIV: Herzog Erislieb (Cactaur) \| RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving, 80 crafting <cite>Hexenherz posted [p:928964183] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>AIN ISSA, SYRIAAs they streamed out of detention camps in northern Syria following U.S. withdrawal of military support in the region, jubilant ISIS prisoners on Monday hailed their American liberators. We never thought wed see the day when someone would finally stand up for us and free us from the Syrian Democratic Forces clutches, said ISIS member Mohsin Al-Lateef as hundreds of his recently liberated fellow jihadist militants praised President Donald Trump and raised American flags in tribute to their emancipators. For years, we opposed the United States for their intervention in our lands, but now we see that they strongly believe in our mission to establish a caliphate across our ancient lands and put infidels to death. We will honor the U.S. for not only standing down in support of our fight against the Syrian Kurds but for stoking chaos in the region to give us a chance to regroup and re-emerge stronger than ever before. God bless America! At press time, President Trump had shared a video of the liberated ISIS prisoners celebrating and thanked them for their support.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Garioshi 10/19/19 9:37:48 AM #2:	lmao --- "I play with myself" - Darklit_Minuet, 2018 <cite>Garioshi posted [p:928964205] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>lmao</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
NinjaWarrior455 10/19/19 9:39:00 AM #3:	Jesus christ --- Super Bowl 52 Champions!!!! http://myanimelist.net/animelist/NinjaWarrior457 <cite>NinjaWarrior455 posted [p:928964231] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>Jesus christ</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
brotrrwinner 10/19/19 9:40:54 AM #4:	Nice source --- September 21st, 2008 Never forget <cite>brotrrwinner posted [p:928964272] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>Nice source</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Raptornado 10/19/19 9:41:43 AM #5:	It's the Onion, but they're not wrong about the ramifications. --- Trust me. <cite>Raptornado posted [p:928964292] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>It's the Onion, but they're not wrong about the ramifications.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Garioshi 10/19/19 9:43:36 AM #6:	lmao --- "I play with myself" - Darklit_Minuet, 2018 <cite>Garioshi posted [p:928964338] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>lmao</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Southernfatman 10/19/19 9:45:18 AM #7:	I get what they're doing, but this is too depressing to find any humor in it. --- https://imgur.com/hslUvRN When I sin I sin real good. <cite>Southernfatman posted [p:928964384] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>I get what they're doing, but this is too depressing to find any humor in it.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Funkydog 10/19/19 9:48:15 AM #8:	Raptornado posted... It's the Onion, but they're not wrong about the ramifications. This. It's sad that this is essentially the reality he has inflicted on the world. --- https://imgur.com/BGbZK <cite>Funkydog posted [p:928964454] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>Raptornado posted...</cite> <quote>It's the Onion, but they're not wrong about the ramifications.</quote> This. It's sad that this is essentially the reality he has inflicted on the world.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Hexenherz 10/19/19 9:55:18 AM #9:	Southernfatman posted... I get what they're doing, but this is too depressing to find any humor in it. Maybe you'd prefer Pentagon reveals that cats push objects off tables to make most Defense decisions ? WASHINGTON Pentagon officials have quietly confirmed what military personnel have long suspected: Most critical defense-related decisions are made by cats pushing random objects off tables. The power of cats has been classified for some time meow. However, recent events have forced the Pentagon to declassify what it calls Project Catnip. Weve decided it was time to stop pussy-footing around, Defense Secretary Mark Esper said. We think our process is the cats meow, and weve decided keeping it secret would just neuter our lethality. Cats rise above objectivity to a plane of thinking that has given the military ACUs, the F-35, how often the grass is mowed, and even the recent decision to declassify Project Catnip. The process is complex, as more than two observers must catalogue the movements and inevitable dropping of items from the table. Today the cats determined that any operation involving the Navy and Marines together will no longer be considered a Joint operation. Yesterday, the cats determined that all DFAC workers in forward deployed environments will sniff two butts prior to arriving for their shifts, with three sniffs on Saturdays, Esper said. Also, every meal downrange will consist of tuna and milk. All efforts of Project Catnip have been glorious decisions by our beautiful, furry overlords. May their reign be eternal and filled with many naps. --- FFXIV: Herzog Erislieb (Cactaur) \| RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving, 80 crafting <cite>Hexenherz posted [p:928964625] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>Southernfatman posted...</cite> <quote>I get what they're doing, but this is too depressing to find any humor in it.</quote> Maybe you'd prefer Pentagon reveals that cats push objects off tables to make most Defense decisions ? WASHINGTON Pentagon officials have quietly confirmed what military personnel have long suspected: Most critical defense-related decisions are made by cats pushing random objects off tables. The power of cats has been classified for some time meow. However, recent events have forced the Pentagon to declassify what it calls Project Catnip. Weve decided it was time to stop pussy-footing around, Defense Secretary Mark Esper said. We think our process is the cats meow, and weve decided keeping it secret would just neuter our lethality. Cats rise above objectivity to a plane of thinking that has given the military ACUs, the F-35, how often the grass is mowed, and even the recent decision to declassify Project Catnip. The process is complex, as more than two observers must catalogue the movements and inevitable dropping of items from the table. Today the cats determined that any operation involving the Navy and Marines together will no longer be considered a Joint operation. Yesterday, the cats determined that all DFAC workers in forward deployed environments will sniff two butts prior to arriving for their shifts, with three sniffs on Saturdays, Esper said. Also, every meal downrange will consist of tuna and milk. All efforts of Project Catnip have been glorious decisions by our beautiful, furry overlords. May their reign be eternal and filled with many naps.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Hexenherz 10/19/19 9:59:28 AM #10:	U.S. tells Kurds its just going out for a pack of cigarettes NORTHERN SYRIA Kurdish fighters of the Syrian Democratic Forces, or SDF, are still waiting anxiously for the U.S. to return after it left on Monday, saying it was going out for a pack of smokes. Sources say the U.S. ruffled the Kurds hair, put on its coat, and looked back wistfully before walking out the front door. The U.S. mentioned something about it not being our fault and that we didnt do anything wrong, said Dozan Aydogan, a Kurdish SDF commander. Then the U.S. said it was heading to the PX to get some more cigarettes. Its funny though, Ive never seen it smoke. It only dips Copenhagen, pounds Rip-its, and masturbates three or four times a day. Sources say the young Kurds stared through a window curiously as the U.S. tossed a large rucksack in the passenger seat of the C-17, adjusted the rearview mirror, and took off, ostensibly for the nearest post exchange. It failed to mention that the nearest base was in Incirlik, Turkey, more than 300 miles away. The U.S. adopted these Kurdish fighters in 2015 when it taught them to ride bicycles, play catch, and lay the scunion on the Islamic State in Syria. Everything seemed to be going well until the U.S. and NATOs fair-weather side-piece, Turkey, started making trouble. Turkey was all, Were your NATO ally and theyre terrorists, and, If you dont leave them, youll never get my basing and overflight agreements for Iran, Aydogan told reporters. But the U.S. will never leave us, right? Weve been their faithful partners in Iraq and Syria for years. At least theyd help us broker a deal right? --- FFXIV: Herzog Erislieb (Cactaur) \| RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving, 80 crafting <cite>Hexenherz posted [p:928964718] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>U.S. tells Kurds its just going out for a pack of cigarettes NORTHERN SYRIA Kurdish fighters of the Syrian Democratic Forces, or SDF, are still waiting anxiously for the U.S. to return after it left on Monday, saying it was going out for a pack of smokes. Sources say the U.S. ruffled the Kurds hair, put on its coat, and looked back wistfully before walking out the front door. The U.S. mentioned something about it not being our fault and that we didnt do anything wrong, said Dozan Aydogan, a Kurdish SDF commander. Then the U.S. said it was heading to the PX to get some more cigarettes. Its funny though, Ive never seen it smoke. It only dips Copenhagen, pounds Rip-its, and masturbates three or four times a day. Sources say the young Kurds stared through a window curiously as the U.S. tossed a large rucksack in the passenger seat of the C-17, adjusted the rearview mirror, and took off, ostensibly for the nearest post exchange. It failed to mention that the nearest base was in Incirlik, Turkey, more than 300 miles away. The U.S. adopted these Kurdish fighters in 2015 when it taught them to ride bicycles, play catch, and lay the scunion on the Islamic State in Syria. Everything seemed to be going well until the U.S. and NATOs fair-weather side-piece, Turkey, started making trouble. Turkey was all, Were your NATO ally and theyre terrorists, and, If you dont leave them, youll never get my basing and overflight agreements for Iran, Aydogan told reporters. But the U.S. will never leave us, right? Weve been their faithful partners in Iraq and Syria for years. At least theyd help us broker a deal right?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Machete 10/19/19 12:12:42 PM #11:	NinjaWarrior455 posted... Jesus christ --- #DamagedDonald #LockTrumpUp <cite>Machete posted [p:928968603] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>NinjaWarrior455 posted...</cite> <quote>Jesus christ</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Hexenherz 10/19/19 3:11:53 PM #12:	Machete posted... NinjaWarrior455 posted... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBTXjMIv_70" data-time=" --- FFXIV: Herzog Erislieb (Cactaur) \| RS3: UltimaSuende . 99 WC/Fish/Cook/Fletch/Div/Mining/Smithing/Thieving, 80 crafting <cite>Hexenherz posted [p:928974448] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>Machete posted...</cite> <quote>NinjaWarrior455 posted...</cite> <quote> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBTXjMIv_70" data-time="</quote></quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
IShall_Run_Amok 10/19/19 3:30:03 PM #13:	The Onion is probably the most honest news source in the world. --- On the whole, I'd rather have a Marple Cinematic Universe. <cite>IShall_Run_Amok posted [p:928975007] in Jubilant I... [t:78096640]...</cite> <quote>The Onion is probably the most honest news source in the world.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Jubilant ISIS Prisoners Hail American Liberators (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Jubilant ISIS Prisoners Hail American Liberators