Current Events > Wow, I just saw a transman use the mens' bathroom this morning.

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cAPITALISATION 12/21/17 4:32:08 PM #1:	I had off from work this morning so I figured I'd do some shopping today at my local mall. As I was shopping, I felt the 3 redbulls I drank begging to leave my body and I rushed towards the bathroom. I was at the urinal peeing, minding my own business, when I heard grunts and a light plopping noise from one of the stalls. I immediately stopped peeing, mid-stream (no ordinary task). Something didn't sound right. I heard another grunt and another light plop and I realized this grunt was no ordinary grunt. Thankfully, I had recorded all the grunts on my phone, and I quickly ran them through an app I had downloaded a few days ago, Male Vocal Pattern Analyzer Lite (I'm not going to buy the full version lol). I analyzed the pitch and tone and realized that something was a little off - it did not match up with the voice patterns in the database. I immediately put away my penis and sprinted over to the stall. I kicked in the door with all my might and the door swung back, hitting the side of the stall with a huge THUD. "DUMP POLICE!" I hollered, forcing my way into the stall. On the toilet sat a man taking what looked to be squeezing out a very hard BM, probably due to weeks of poor hydration and fiber intake. "I'm sorry sir," I said to the man, sheathing my tanto and bowing in respect. "I noticed your vocal patterns were a little off and I-" I stopped speaking mid sentence. As I went down to gaze at his penis, I noticed that there was nothing there. Nothing. My blood ran cold and the color drained out of my face. It all made sense now. This was no regular man - this was a trans man. I had heard rumors of these men years ago, hushed stories around the campfire of people biologically born as one sex who experienced a different gender identity. I remember laughing it off, thinking that there could never possibly be anyone different than me, since, as many of you know, I am a huge Amiibo collector. But here I was, face to face with a transman. The men's room, a room I once called a restroom, no longer was a safe space where I could freely and openly communicate with my fellow man about how much corn was in our bowel movements - the restroom had become perverted, morphed from a safe haven for men to just a place where people pee and poop and then leave when they're done to go about their day. I turned to run, but the man had blocked the exit to the restroom. I tried to unsheath my tanto, but the man utilized his whip-like tongue to knock it out my hand. He stood over me, prepared to deliver the killing blow. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a shot rang out and the man dropped to the floor and disintegrated into a green slime. Emerging from the last stall was none other than Jeff "Puff Puff I'll Pass" Sessions. He rammed another silver bullet into his rifle, fired at the goo to ensure his kill, and then helped me up. "You did a great deed here, Mr. Shinobi," Jeff said. "Your policing of this bathroom has allowed me to peacefully take one of the most powerful BMs of my life. The poop hit the water with such force that the toilet water acted as a sort of makeshift bidet, allowing me to take a messy shit but not even have to wipe. A dump like that comes once in a lifetime, and your good deed will not go unnoticed." Jeff "Puff Puff I'll Pass" Sessions reached into his fanny pack, pulled out a $25 Best Buy Gift Card, and handed it to me. "Use this on anything you like at over 1,900 Best Buy locations worldwide, or on their website, which offers a convenient shopping experience from the comfort of your own home." With that, Jeff gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the mens' room. I ran out to remind him to wash his hands, but like that, he was gone. Anyway, it was a really interesting experience this morning! --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892643412] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>I had off from work this morning so I figured I'd do some shopping today at my local mall. As I was shopping, I felt the 3 redbulls I drank begging to leave my body and I rushed towards the bathroom. I was at the urinal peeing, minding my own business, when I heard grunts and a light plopping noise from one of the stalls. I immediately stopped peeing, mid-stream (no ordinary task). Something didn't sound right. I heard another grunt and another light plop and I realized this grunt was no ordinary grunt. Thankfully, I had recorded all the grunts on my phone, and I quickly ran them through an app I had downloaded a few days ago, Male Vocal Pattern Analyzer Lite (I'm not going to buy the full version lol). I analyzed the pitch and tone and realized that something was a little off - it did not match up with the voice patterns in the database. I immediately put away my penis and sprinted over to the stall. I kicked in the door with all my might and the door swung back, hitting the side of the stall with a huge THUD. "DUMP POLICE!" I hollered, forcing my way into the stall. On the toilet sat a man taking what looked to be squeezing out a very hard BM, probably due to weeks of poor hydration and fiber intake. "I'm sorry sir," I said to the man, sheathing my tanto and bowing in respect. "I noticed your vocal patterns were a little off and I-" I stopped speaking mid sentence. As I went down to gaze at his penis, I noticed that there was nothing there. Nothing. My blood ran cold and the color drained out of my face. It all made sense now. This was no regular man - this was a trans man. I had heard rumors of these men years ago, hushed stories around the campfire of people biologically born as one sex who experienced a different gender identity. I remember laughing it off, thinking that there could never possibly be anyone different than me, since, as many of you know, I am a huge Amiibo collector. But here I was, face to face with a transman. The men's room, a room I once called a restroom, no longer was a safe space where I could freely and openly communicate with my fellow man about how much corn was in our bowel movements - the restroom had become perverted, morphed from a safe haven for men to just a place where people pee and poop and then leave when they're done to go about their day. I turned to run, but the man had blocked the exit to the restroom. I tried to unsheath my tanto, but the man utilized his whip-like tongue to knock it out my hand. He stood over me, prepared to deliver the killing blow. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a shot rang out and the man dropped to the floor and disintegrated into a green slime. Emerging from the last stall was none other than Jeff "Puff Puff I'll Pass" Sessions. He rammed another silver bullet into his rifle, fired at the goo to ensure his kill, and then helped me up. "You did a great deed here, Mr. Shinobi," Jeff said. "Your policing of this bathroom has allowed me to peacefully take one of the most powerful BMs of my life. The poop hit the water with such force that the toilet water acted as a sort of makeshift bidet, allowing me to take a messy shit but not even have to wipe. A dump like that comes once in a lifetime, and your good deed will not go unnoticed." Jeff "Puff Puff I'll Pass" Sessions reached into his fanny pack, pulled out a $25 Best Buy Gift Card, and handed it to me. "Use this on anything you like at over 1,900 Best Buy locations worldwide, or on their website, which offers a convenient shopping experience from the comfort of your own home." With that, Jeff gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the mens' room. I ran out to remind him to wash his hands, but like that, he was gone. Anyway, it was a really interesting experience this morning!</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Kaname_Madoka 12/21/17 4:33:13 PM #2:	cAPITALISATION posted... (I'm not going to buy the full version lol) I almost laughed out loud in the middle of class --- Drawn for me: Volkswagen_Bros, ShinobiNinjaX, Popcorn_Fairy + Nayr626. https://imgur.com/gallery/B4o8m League Summoner Name: DontIoseYourWay (the I is an i) <cite>Kaname_Madoka posted [p:892643469] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>cAPITALISATION posted...</cite> <quote>(I'm not going to buy the full version lol)</quote> I almost laughed out loud in the middle of class</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Iodine 12/21/17 4:34:41 PM #3:	Oh man this was incredible. --- In Belichick we Trust <cite>Iodine posted [p:892643540] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Oh man this was incredible.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
FigureOfSpeech 12/21/17 4:35:02 PM #4:	Does this board know who's alt you are, tc? If not, secret is safe with me. --- Place-holder sig because new phone and old sigs not saved :/ <cite>FigureOfSpeech posted [p:892643562] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Does this board know who's alt you are, tc? If not, secret is safe with me.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
cAPITALISATION 12/21/17 4:36:24 PM #5:	FigureOfSpeech posted... Does this board know who's alt you are, tc? If not, secret is safe with me. no one cared who I was before I put on the mask ~~also, I didn't know that you knew. How did you find out?~~ --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892643634] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>FigureOfSpeech posted...</cite> <quote>Does this board know who's alt you are, tc? If not, secret is safe with me.</quote> no one cared who I was before I put on the mask also, I didn't know that you knew. How did you find out?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
#6	Post #6 was unavailable or deleted.
P4wn4g3 12/21/17 4:38:15 PM #7:	And that transman was Albert Einstein --- Hive Mind of Dark Aether, the unofficial Metroid Social Private board. https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/851-dark-aether <cite>P4wn4g3 posted [p:892643734] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>And that transman was Albert Einstein</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
A_Good_Boy 12/21/17 4:38:37 PM #8:	cAPITALISATION posted... the restroom had become perverted, morphed from a safe haven for men to just a place where people pee and poop and then leave when they're done to go about their day. Lol cAPITALISATION posted... Jeff "Puff Puff I'll Pass" Sessions Lmao --- Who is? I am! <cite>A_Good_Boy posted [p:892643751] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>cAPITALISATION posted...</cite> <quote>the restroom had become perverted, morphed from a safe haven for men to just a place where people pee and poop and then leave when they're done to go about their day.</quote> Lol <cite>cAPITALISATION posted...</cite> <quote>Jeff "Puff Puff I'll Pass" Sessions</quote> Lmao</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
LIsJustice 12/21/17 4:40:57 PM #9:	This happened. --- Bethesda is the best western publisher this gen by far. <cite>LIsJustice posted [p:892643862] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>This happened.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
_Rinku_ 12/21/17 4:43:35 PM #10:	Nice post. Good writing. <cite>_Rinku_ posted [p:892644011] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Nice post. Good writing.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Eerieka 12/21/17 4:49:23 PM #11:	ctrl-f "amiibo" Good job --- Account created-9/10/04. Just a normal GameFAQs user/leprechaun Ramza: rofl. Rofel: You say my name? -Eise <cite>Eerieka posted [p:892644299] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>ctrl-f "amiibo" Good job</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
cAPITALISATION 12/21/17 4:49:29 PM #12:	P4wn4g3 posted... And that transman was Albert Einstein ...how did you know?? --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892644306] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>P4wn4g3 posted...</cite> <quote>And that transman was Albert Einstein</quote> ...how did you know??</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
FigureOfSpeech 12/21/17 4:53:54 PM #13:	cAPITALISATION posted... FigureOfSpeech posted... Does this board know who's alt you are, tc? If not, secret is safe with me. no one cared who I was before I put on the mask ~~also, I didn't know that you knew. How did you find out?~~ Other boards --- Place-holder sig because new phone and old sigs not saved :/ <cite>FigureOfSpeech posted [p:892644542] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>cAPITALISATION posted...</cite> <quote><cite>FigureOfSpeech posted...</cite> <quote>Does this board know who's alt you are, tc? If not, secret is safe with me.</quote> no one cared who I was before I put on the mask also, I didn't know that you knew. How did you find out?</quote> Other boards</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
cAPITALISATION 12/22/17 4:21:09 PM #14:	Up --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892699725] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Up</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
GiftedACIII 12/24/17 4:00:36 AM #15:	cAPITALISATION posted... I tried to unsheath my tanto, but the man utilized his whip-like tongue to knock it out my hand. Just like one of my Japanese animes --- </topic> <cite>GiftedACIII posted [p:892779554] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>cAPITALISATION posted...</cite> <quote>I tried to unsheath my tanto, but the man utilized his whip-like tongue to knock it out my hand.</quote> Just like one of my Japanese animes</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DocileOrangeCup 12/24/17 4:02:35 AM #16:	wait is tc ass muff or green butter --- https://i.imgtc.com/usDFlRA.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/GSrk8Nh.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/yo9VSX9.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/BnnNepT.jpg https://tinyurl.com/Cornboard <cite>DocileOrangeCup posted [p:892779608] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>wait is tc ass muff or green butter</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
apolloooo 12/24/17 4:05:26 AM #18:	Lmao --- http://i.imgtc.com/iJyp6bF.png http://i.imgtc.com/ZBw36Qh.png Thanks for the peeps that made the pics <3 if i make typos it means i am on phone <cite>apolloooo posted [p:892779659] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Lmao</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Ic3Bullet 12/24/17 4:09:37 AM #19:	Is TC Loving Pacifist's alt? This seems like the kind of story only LP can create. <cite>Ic3Bullet posted [p:892779734] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Is TC Loving Pacifist's alt? This seems like the kind of story only LP can create.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
KillerKhan420 12/24/17 4:12:01 AM #20:	Scary --- "I know how the business works because I'm a wrestling fan"-hulkhogan1 <cite>KillerKhan420 posted [p:892779773] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Scary</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
fan357 12/24/17 4:26:13 AM #21:	Neat --- Never forget where you came from. <cite>fan357 posted [p:892780040] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Neat</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
cAPITALISATION 12/24/17 6:51:55 AM #22:	DocileOrangeCup posted... wait is tc ass muff or green butter Wrong Wrong Ic3Bullet posted... Is TC Loving Pacifist's alt? This seems like the kind of story only LP can create. Wrong --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892782361] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>DocileOrangeCup posted...</cite> <quote>wait is tc ass muff or green butter</quote> Wrong Wrong <cite>Ic3Bullet posted...</cite> <quote>Is TC Loving Pacifist's alt? This seems like the kind of story only LP can create.</quote> Wrong</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DocileOrangeCup 12/24/17 1:53:11 PM #23:	Polymer!? --- https://i.imgtc.com/usDFlRA.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/GSrk8Nh.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/yo9VSX9.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/BnnNepT.jpg https://tinyurl.com/Cornboard <cite>DocileOrangeCup posted [p:892796440] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Polymer!?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Duncanwii 12/24/17 1:57:38 PM #24:	This is offensive to the many transpeople on here TC. Please close this topic immediately or I'm fetching a mod. --- My dream has finally come true. I own a SNES Classic. I broke up with my girlfriend so please stop asking me about it! <cite>Duncanwii posted [p:892796646] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>This is offensive to the many transpeople on here TC. Please close this topic immediately or I'm fetching a mod.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DocileOrangeCup 12/24/17 2:06:19 PM #25:	Duncanwii posted... This is offensive to the many transpeople on here TC. Please close this topic immediately or I'm fetching a mod. Don't be like that man it's comedy I doubt anybodys day is worse because of this topic. --- https://i.imgtc.com/usDFlRA.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/GSrk8Nh.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/yo9VSX9.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/BnnNepT.jpg https://tinyurl.com/Cornboard <cite>DocileOrangeCup posted [p:892797066] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>Duncanwii posted...</cite> <quote>This is offensive to the many transpeople on here TC. Please close this topic immediately or I'm fetching a mod.</quote> Don't be like that man it's comedy I doubt anybodys day is worse because of this topic.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
green butter 12/24/17 2:07:42 PM #26:	--- http://i.imgur.com/LhwwG.gif <cite>green butter posted [p:892797142] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote> --- http://i.imgur.com/LhwwG.gif</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
hortanz 12/24/17 2:12:59 PM #27:	beautiful --- http://i.imgur.com/JFmtaHB.gif <cite>hortanz posted [p:892797404] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>beautiful</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
LittleRoyal 12/24/17 2:26:56 PM #28:	When you put his voice in the analyzer with him right there did he recognize himself? --- I-I really needed this~~ Time to stomp some faces!!! <cite>LittleRoyal posted [p:892798105] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>When you put his voice in the analyzer with him right there did he recognize himself?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
cAPITALISATION 12/24/17 4:24:34 PM #29:	DocileOrangeCup posted... Polymer!? I ain't no chemical son green butter posted... >mfw senpai notices me --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892804023] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>DocileOrangeCup posted...</cite> <quote>Polymer!?</quote> I ain't no chemical son <cite>green butter posted...</cite> <quote></quote> >mfw senpai notices me</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
chill02 12/24/17 4:26:10 PM #30:	w 0 w ! --- Ave, true to Caesar. <cite>chill02 posted [p:892804084] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>w 0 w !</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
bevan306 12/24/17 4:29:15 PM #31:	That was great. I would read your novels --- http://rateyourmusic.com/~bevan http://i.imgur.com/5Ta28.jpg <cite>bevan306 posted [p:892804204] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>That was great. I would read your novels</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Anony1125 12/24/17 4:38:10 PM #32:	Reads like dragonpick to me, which is weird because I have no idea who dragonpick is. Or who I am. I think I might be senile. --- Feeling really good. <cite>Anony1125 posted [p:892804642] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Reads like dragonpick to me, which is weird because I have no idea who dragonpick is. Or who I am. I think I might be senile.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
GrandCross6 12/24/17 4:39:33 PM #33:	please write more this made me fall out of my chair --- The Final Fantasy series died for our sins and resurrected on April 4 as Persona 5 <cite>GrandCross6 posted [p:892804715] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>please write more this made me fall out of my chair</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Resolution 12/24/17 5:01:25 PM #34:	Duncanwii posted... This is offensive to the many transpeople on here TC. Please close this topic immediately or I'm fetching a mod. How is this offensive when it's mocking the idiots who complain about transpeople not using the same bathroom as their biological sex --- I'm unstable, I'm not a show horse, I can't be bridled of course I'm un-scabbed and un-regretted. I got tattooed in reverse <cite>Resolution posted [p:892805738] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>Duncanwii posted...</cite> <quote>This is offensive to the many transpeople on here TC. Please close this topic immediately or I'm fetching a mod.</quote> How is this offensive when it's mocking the idiots who complain about transpeople not using the same bathroom as their biological sex</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DocileOrangeCup 12/24/17 6:14:32 PM #35:	cAPITALISATION posted... I ain't no chemical son Dammit Was your old account on CE as well? --- https://i.imgtc.com/usDFlRA.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/GSrk8Nh.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/yo9VSX9.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/BnnNepT.jpg https://tinyurl.com/Cornboard <cite>DocileOrangeCup posted [p:892809329] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>cAPITALISATION posted...</cite> <quote>I ain't no chemical son </quote> Dammit Was your old account on CE as well?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
cAPITALISATION 12/25/17 2:25:20 AM #36:	DocileOrangeCup posted... cAPITALISATION posted... I ain't no chemical son Dammit Was your old account on CE as well? Yup ~~still is, too~~ --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892829206] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>DocileOrangeCup posted...</cite> <quote><cite>cAPITALISATION posted...</cite> <quote> I ain't no chemical son </quote> Dammit Was your old account on CE as well?</quote> Yup still is, too</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DocileOrangeCup 12/25/17 2:53:10 PM #37:	Agghhh I need a hint --- https://i.imgtc.com/usDFlRA.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/GSrk8Nh.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/yo9VSX9.jpg https://i.imgtc.com/BnnNepT.jpg https://tinyurl.com/Cornboard <cite>DocileOrangeCup posted [p:892850307] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote>Agghhh I need a hint</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
cAPITALISATION 12/26/17 3:30:27 AM #38:	DocileOrangeCup posted... Agghhh I need a hint I'm not one of the big people on CE. You probably wouldn't even recognise my main :( --- tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN <cite>cAPITALISATION posted [p:892881288] in Wow, I jus... [t:76123417]...</cite> <quote><cite>DocileOrangeCup posted...</cite> <quote>Agghhh I need a hint</quote> I'm not one of the big people on CE. You probably wouldn't even recognise my main :(</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Wow, I just saw a transman use the mens' bathroom this morning. (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Wow, I just saw a transman use the mens' bathroom this morning.