Board 8 > I'm watching the Resident Evil movies (spoilers I guess)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Most slow motion in any movie or series ever? Sure feels like it. Holy shit there's probably like 15-20 minutes entirely of slow-mo in some of these. On the one before the last one now. I bet this series is going to be really hard to rank and not for good reasons

still haven't seen the first one - apparently that one's sort of ok?

i saw 3-5 and they were all terrible.
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The first one is a pretty good popcorn movie. It's worth noting I haven't played the game series at all really aside from trying some of RE HD so I don't have huge expectations or ruined characters to worry about. Even so this Alice girl who is original I think is just like a giant Mary Sue really. Not so much in the first, but oh boy definitely in the 3rd and higher at least

The first one is legitimately good.

The rest range from lol to oh my God make it stop.
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These zombies are weird. Like at first they were pretty standard and then they uh evolve or something and start having tentacle monsters inside their mouths. I don't think it ever really explained how and if it did it probably didn't really make sense anyways.

Oh snap Asian woman showed up. This is probably that Ada girl if it's not some original.

Will spoiler bar just in case.

5th movie spoilers So the Umbrella Corp got rich through biological warfare racism ad campaigns XD. I guess they didn't think the whole world would end if they sold weapons to every country so everybody could destroy everybody. They even build elaborate testing grounds that simulate real weather and cities and everything yet somehow these guys have pretty poor security and poorly trained staff despite having created the ultimate superhuman and all these zombies.

Oh hey the Red Queen is back again and Jill has some spider robot mind-control thing on her chest. This is AMAZING.

huh, apparently paul w.s. anderson directed 1, didn't direct 2 and 3 but then did direct 4-6? i guess it's not that weird but i was still surprised by this.
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It gets worse.

A lot worse.

Plot motivations makes less sense, main characters die off screen between movies, the rules are made up, and the points don't matter.

The only thing consistent between ever single movie is that Alice is the bestestest ever at everything.
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Oh shit it's Kevin Durand. I like that guy

XFD this zombie design is so bad. It's like sombody put a bag over Hulk's head with no eye holes, gave him a bus-sized hammer and had all kinds of metal rods and spikes coming out of his body to be edgy

The Final Chapter was easily the worst one of the series.
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Oh my god I think we have Nazi zombies now. Hahahaha holy shit it's like they just decided to go as ridiculous as possible. I'm totally expecting an elephant or shark zombie by the end of this movie.

Hey.

Elephant zombie in Outbreak was amazing, the movies only wish they were that good. And of course Neptune was awesome, but same thing.
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This is like cameo city now wow. All these dead guys from the previous movies have to be like clones or something.

Leon's acting seems kinda terrible which is a shame because he's got star power as far as the games are concerned so he's probably safe. Kevin Durand's character and Luther are probably screwed though because there's no way more than like 3 people are making it out of this. Horror survival law after all

The last one is the worst one, sadly. It's atrocious.
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Oh Durand is called Barry. Despite his minor amount of lines and screen time so far he is the highlight of this movie

X-ray wounds. We're Mortal Kombat now.

5th movie finished. I have no idea what motives the Umbrella Corporation has. They basically make no sense in these movies. This making it all the way to 6 movies is baffling

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. This is it guys. The BRAVE HEROES remaining against all the zombies in a battle for the survival/last hope of humanity. The remaining cast (spoilers for all the movies obviously):

Mary Sue
Leon "zero personality" Kennedy
Jill "can't compete with Alice" Valentine
Albert "trying his hardest to be cool" Wesker
Ada "she always has a plan" Wong
Chris "Is he actually still in this?" Redfield
Claire "same scenario as her brother" Redfield.

Those two were last scene in movie 4 I think and didn't show up in 5 so they are either not showing up again or will make an appearance in this final disaster.

Sorry ahead of time if I goofed any name spellings or last names.

Spoilers 4 of those die off screen
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Sounds amazing. There are now either giant zombie bats or zombie wyverns. I honestly can't tell which, but ok.

This is making even less sense somehow. I feel so lost.

has religion dropped in out of nowhere yet?
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Yup, but I also don't get how or why they skipped over the entire ending of 5 to the beginning of this one. It makes no sense and just leaves you with a ton of questions!

A few of those questions get answered in one line of dialogue.
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yeah I think the dialogue is "wesker betrayed us"

and then jill and ada and leon die
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Finished. Lmao what a disaster. That was like worse than Syfy originals. Also it apparently said what happened to Chris. I even looked it up in case I missed something and it just says his status is unknown. They never mentioned him dying and never brought him back. Literally incredible.

they never really cared about any other characters beyond the director's wife
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XFD I didn't even know she was married to him. That is just amazing.

Characters who made this series a little less unbearable along the way:

Carlos Olivera
L.J.
Nicholai aka Dave from Titus. Yep that's enough to get a nod.
Barry
Nemesis
Rain for dat voice and movie 1 not sucking

Uh I dunno that might be it. I know major game fans likely jumped ship immediately or watched one or two before giving up. I can only imagine how Wesker fans feel. What a complete waste.

I honestly don't remember every movie very well, but I do remember the last two.

The second to last one had some weird and sort of interesting ideas with the fake cities even if nothing made any sense, but the last one was just ass. The funny part is that the one line we get about Wesker betraying everyone sounds like it would be a more interesting movie than what we actually got, even ignoring how they demoted Wesker to side villain and removed all of his powers for no reason.
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I saw every single one. On the hopes that at some point we might get an actual, faithful reboot. But alas.

These things were super popular in Asia for some reason.

It's a 1.25 BILLION dollar franchise, and only 250 million of that is from US box offices.
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They demoted Wesker because SER JORAH MORMONT got really famous and they wanted him to be the villain again.

That's literally it.
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It's funny because the betrayal line felt like they were going to do a movie before this one, but decided not to and threw that line in so there was at least some reference made to what happened.

It's weird this series made so much money. I mean Japan could surely do better making their own live action movie of it right? In a somewhat related note how are the CG movies? I noticed there are a couple of them and I'd be amazed if they're worse than the live action

The CG movies are all pretty good actually.
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FFDragon posted...

The CG movies are all pretty good actually.

They're also main-timeline rather than their own thing like these were.
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I will probably end up checking them out then. Not tonight though. I think I've had enough Resident Evil today