Current Events > I'm going HARD on AA tomorrow. Alcohol Withdrawal is getting SCARY.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I have been having a really difficult time staying sober. I'll go 14 days, then day 15 I'll feel depressed, 16 will be worse, and on 16 or 17 I'll end up grabbing a six pack. The next day that escalates, then it went until day seven this time where I had a fifth of vodka and a can of four loko done by 1PM. I was found passed out by my roommate with a black eye and bruises all over my body. I'm assuming I had a seizure because the location of the bruises are just... weird. I've been through these relapses often now, so I have a good "toolkit" to get through it, and this time felt like it was going to be easier (even though it still is AWFUL).

Last night was the most awful symptom I have personally experienced, though they can even still get much worse. I spoke about it at a meeting today and I could barely get my story out because of how much my voice was trembling and my hands were shaking because of how shaken up I am about it. I can type about it just fine, but vocalizing it out loud is very difficult.

I started having Closed Eye Hallucinations. These first ones were greyscale and not really in color. They started out benign, like dark blobs that would move around, turn into different shapes, etc. They eventually started turning into lines and rotating around my closed eye frame of vision. The line then took an L shape and split apart and went into an | | formation. They rotated a bit and revealed themselves to be knives, then IMMEDIATELY jumped towards me. It JOLTED me up in fear. Every time I would close my eyes, within a minute some type of weapon would reveal itself and jolt towards me. The weirdest one were corn cob holders that took a square formation and started rotating before jolting towards my eyes. Another was a dim orange dot, it slightly got larger, then a hand jumped out to grab me.

Then, it got even worse...
Things started getting colors. The hallucinations would change based on my thoughts, however, I ALWAYS ended up stabbed, a rope tied around my neck, or disemboweled. I was closed eye hallucinating being in the super market and a small asian woman coming up to me and stabbing me. I started seeing weird, scary animals that were just weird pieces of other animals put together, typically a dog and a chicken. I had one where I was walking on the road and got hit by a car. One where I was hit by a train. One where somebody sliced my stomach open and pulled my insides out. The worst of them all, I am not sure I can post here. I will be daring and post it in a reply with spoiler tags, because it is very VERY fucked up and it honestly really really makes me wonder what's wrong with my brain. All of these could have been over without being killed by just opening my eyes, but I was SO exhausted and needed my sleep, so I kept attempting another "run" every 20-30 minutes, and I'd always be killed.

It might be time for another shot at rehab :(

Isn't this why you're supposed to detox under doctor supervision?

The worst of them all (WARNING: VERY HORRIFIC)
I walked outside of that same grocery store in the other hallucination, and instead of a parking lot, it was some type of weird war field. I saw the mutilated corpses of children, and the worst thing I saw was a man yanking a small child into the air by the hair and chopping their head off with a machete, then having sex with the neck wound.

Yeah, today was... really difficult to just be myself.

SuperShake666 posted...

Isn't this why you're supposed to detox under doctor supervision?

Sadly I no longer have insurance, so this wasn't feasible :(

Oh no that sounds damn scary!
i consciously stopped drinking early on and even have never actually got even tipsy off alcohol cos of the effects it has on both my parents sides of my family

super_felicia posted...

Oh no that sounds damn scary!
i consciously stopped drinking early on and even have never actually got even tipsy off alcohol cos of the effects it has on both my parents sides of my family

Ok that last post is very very concerning! Get supervised now I do mean that! I had really fake looking visual effects from lack of sleep once and it was nothing like that but you should definitely have supervision i really dont like that post

Honestly, you should really see a doctor if you're looking to detox from alcohol. It can literally kill you and if you're having symptoms this bad, it really isn't something that you want to fuck around with.

You also want to give yourself the best chance at properly healing. Going cold Turkey with withdrawal this bad is not conducive to a healthy and sustainable recovery. I know Rehab might sound bad, people may demonize for some fucked up reason , but it's a natural thing. Just like mental health is an actual disease, so is addiction. You need somewhere where you can do some healing and get better.

PLEASE, either see a doctor or really consider rehab. This is not worth dying over.

I've been through this, it's nasty friend, be very very careful.

BowflexPeloton posted...

Sadly I no longer have insurance, so this wasn't feasible :(

You should go to detox and rehab anyway. Medical debt is a better fate than possibly dying.

BowflexPeloton posted...

Sadly I no longer have insurance, so this wasn't feasible :(

You can die if you don't. Go to rehab.

You should absolutely not be doing this unmedicated.

Just so everyone knows, here's what I did for this time

THIAMINE is the most important thing during withdrawal, if you do NOT heavily supplement you will get Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. I use Benfotiamine, which is a lab form of Thiamine that is fat soluble, rather than water soluble so your body absorbs it more readily. I take it every two or three hours.

FOLIC ACID is the second most important. I use a B Complex to get that, as well as my other B-Vitamins, plus more thiamine.

MULTIVITAMIN for the rest of the vitamins.

Pedialyte as well as Liquid IV for hydration on top of water.

During the initial stage when I couldn't stomach food, I consumed some high calorie protein shakes, as well as some blueberry kefir with some vanilla protein powder added to get immediate food based nutrition as well as sugar to combat the alcoholic ketoacidosis. For some reason, I crave hot dogs when I can actually eat food, so I had three of those.

Absolutely no caffeine, it disrupts your stomach in a way that inhibits the absorption of thiamine.

I am at my parents house and my mom is sleeping in the living room on the couch while I'm on the recliner. The hospital is a two minute walk from their house if something happens.

Rehab is definitely in order, I do agree with that. I know a guy in AA who I believe can help get me financial assistance for rehab.

BowflexPeloton posted...

THIAMINE is the most important thing during withdrawal, if you do NOT heavily supplement you will get Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. I use Benfotiamine, which is a lab form of Thiamine that is fat soluble, rather than water soluble so your body absorbs it more readily. I take it every two or three hours.

FOLIC ACID is the second most important. I use a B Complex to get that, as well as my other B-Vitamins, plus more thiamine.

MULTIVITAMIN for the rest of the vitamins.

Pedialyte as well as Liquid IV for hydration on top of water.

NONE of that will address the out-of-control GABA response that leads to seizure and death.

Those are supplements, not treatments.

Go to urgent care.

Yes please get medical help. This isnt safe the way its going

BowflexPeloton posted...

Just so everyone knows, here's what I did for this time

THIAMINE is the most important thing during withdrawal, if you do NOT heavily supplement you will get Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. I use Benfotiamine, which is a lab form of Thiamine that is fat soluble, rather than water soluble so your body absorbs it more readily. I take it every two or three hours.

FOLIC ACID is the second most important. I use a B Complex to get that, as well as my other B-Vitamins, plus more thiamine.

MULTIVITAMIN for the rest of the vitamins.

Pedialyte as well as Liquid IV for hydration on top of water.

During the initial stage when I couldn't stomach food, I consumed some high calorie protein shakes, as well as some blueberry kefir with some vanilla protein powder added to get immediate food based nutrition as well as sugar to combat the alcoholic ketoacidosis. For some reason, I crave hot dogs when I can actually eat food, so I had three of those.

Absolutely no caffeine, it disrupts your stomach in a way that inhibits the absorption of thiamine.

I am at my parents house and my mom is sleeping in the living room on the couch while I'm on the recliner. The hospital is a two minute walk from their house if something happens.

Rehab is definitely in order, I do agree with that. I know a guy in AA who I believe can help get me financial assistance for rehab.

Ok you have people around, good. Hoping you bounce back from this even though idk you

BowflexPeloton posted...

Just so everyone knows, here's what I did for this time

THIAMINE is the most important thing during withdrawal, if you do NOT heavily supplement you will get Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. I use Benfotiamine, which is a lab form of Thiamine that is fat soluble, rather than water soluble so your body absorbs it more readily. I take it every two or three hours.

FOLIC ACID is the second most important. I use a B Complex to get that, as well as my other B-Vitamins, plus more thiamine.

MULTIVITAMIN for the rest of the vitamins.

Pedialyte as well as Liquid IV for hydration on top of water.

During the initial stage when I couldn't stomach food, I consumed some high calorie protein shakes, as well as some blueberry kefir with some vanilla protein powder added to get immediate food based nutrition as well as sugar to combat the alcoholic ketoacidosis. For some reason, I crave hot dogs when I can actually eat food, so I had three of those.

Absolutely no caffeine, it disrupts your stomach in a way that inhibits the absorption of thiamine.

I am at my parents house and my mom is sleeping in the living room on the couch while I'm on the recliner. The hospital is a two minute walk from their house if something happens.

Rehab is definitely in order, I do agree with that. I know a guy in AA who I believe can help get me financial assistance for rehab.

You need a lot more than that. You need something that only a doctor or rehab is going to be able to give you in order to help you properly deal with the main problem (GABA receptors) or else you're not really that much better off.

Please go to rehab as fast as humanly possible.

BowflexPeloton posted...

Just so everyone knows, here's what I did for this time

THIAMINE is the most important thing during withdrawal, if you do NOT heavily supplement you will get Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. I use Benfotiamine, which is a lab form of Thiamine that is fat soluble, rather than water soluble so your body absorbs it more readily. I take it every two or three hours.

FOLIC ACID is the second most important. I use a B Complex to get that, as well as my other B-Vitamins, plus more thiamine.

MULTIVITAMIN for the rest of the vitamins.

Pedialyte as well as Liquid IV for hydration on top of water.

During the initial stage when I couldn't stomach food, I consumed some high calorie protein shakes, as well as some blueberry kefir with some vanilla protein powder added to get immediate food based nutrition as well as sugar to combat the alcoholic ketoacidosis. For some reason, I crave hot dogs when I can actually eat food, so I had three of those.

Absolutely no caffeine, it disrupts your stomach in a way that inhibits the absorption of thiamine.

I am at my parents house and my mom is sleeping in the living room on the couch while I'm on the recliner. The hospital is a two minute walk from their house if something happens.

Rehab is definitely in order, I do agree with that. I know a guy in AA who I believe can help get me financial assistance for rehab.

You are NOT a doctor. Go to urgent care, go to the hospital. You are
1: putting yourself at risk of a deadly seizure
2: potentially putting whether you live or die on your parents shoulders. it would be insanely traumatic to have your child pass from alcohol withdrawal in your own home.

Go get help, worry about the money after. You can do this.