Current Events > Is there a hotter Bible verse than this?

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Damn_Underscore
03/22/24 7:21:57 PM
#1:


Ezekiel 23:1-21

The word of the Lord came to me: Son of man, there were two women, daughters of the same mother. They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. The older was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. They were mine and gave birth to sons and daughters. Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.

Oholah engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrianswarriors clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen. She gave herself as a prostitute to all the elite of the Assyrians and defiled herself with all the idols of everyone she lusted after. She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust on her.

Therefore I delivered her into the hands of her lovers, the Assyrians, for whom she lusted. They stripped her naked, took away her sons and daughters and killed her with the sword. She became a byword among women, and punishment was inflicted on her.

Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet in her lust and prostitution she was more depraved than her sister. She too lusted after the Assyriansgovernors and commanders, warriors in full dress, mounted horsemen, all handsome young men. I saw that she too defiled herself; both of them went the same way.

But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeans portrayed in red, with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. After she had been defiled by them, she turned away from them in disgust. When she carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her naked body, I turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister. Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

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lilORANG
03/22/24 7:22:41 PM
#2:


Brb

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Science and Algorithms
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RetuenOfDevsman
03/22/24 7:24:00 PM
#3:


Plenty. Ever heard of Song of Solomon?
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Turbam
03/22/24 7:25:35 PM
#4:


I ain't reading all that :V

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Giant_Aspirin
03/22/24 7:31:28 PM
#5:


Damn_Underscore posted...
whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

well then

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Cheater87
03/22/24 7:44:49 PM
#6:


I knew it was going to be this one haha.

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Robot2600
03/22/24 7:49:04 PM
#7:


holy moly

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pnut027
03/22/24 7:49:18 PM
#8:


Im going to read this to my mom. Shes a 74 year old Christian who should enjoy this.

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hereforemnant
03/22/24 7:52:35 PM
#9:


Someone's fetish slipped out here LMAOhttps://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/8c7965c1.jpg
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Damn_Underscore
03/25/24 5:19:02 PM
#10:


bump

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specialkid8
03/25/24 5:27:33 PM
#11:


I'll be in my bunk

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Bosstoise
03/25/24 6:15:23 PM
#12:


Oho

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Fenriswolf
03/25/24 6:21:35 PM
#13:


My favourite Bible verse is where Elisha got mocked by a bunch of teenagers for being bald, so instead of giving them an ironic punishment like making their hair fall out, God summons a bear which kills 40 of them.

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Prestoff
03/25/24 6:22:44 PM
#14:


https://youtu.be/3tm3MxLlhTI?si=VyAf-JFDatEqNFbP

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DI MOLTO!
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Mistere_Man
03/25/24 6:23:17 PM
#15:


I couldnt follow that story very well. The word of the lord came to me, but then it sounds like someone else talking not the lord.

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Water+Fall=Radiation.
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Mistere_Man
03/25/24 6:25:44 PM
#16:


Fenriswolf posted...
My favourite Bible verse is where Elisha got mocked by a bunch of teenagers for being bald, so instead of giving them an ironic punishment like making their hair fall out, God summons a bear which kills 40 of them.

They made fun of one for having no hair on a bare head, so they got killed by a bear covered in hair.

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Water+Fall=Radiation.
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DD_Divine
03/25/24 6:28:28 PM
#17:


Is this the pornography the right wants in the classroom

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ai123
03/25/24 6:31:40 PM
#18:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Plenty. Ever heard of Song of Solomon?
This.

It's a poem about fucking. Ask your priest today about the oral sex references!

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Prestoff
03/25/24 6:34:11 PM
#19:


Mistere_Man posted...
They made fun of one for having no hair on a bare head, so they got killed by a bear covered in hair.

This is starting to sound more like a fucked up Dr. Suess book

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Mistere_Man
03/25/24 6:37:59 PM
#20:


Prestoff posted...
This is starting to sound more like a fucked up Dr. Suess book

Would you eat some green eggs and ham from the one known as I am?

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Water+Fall=Radiation.
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Bass
03/25/24 6:38:09 PM
#21:


RetuenOfDevsman posted...
Plenty. Ever heard of Song of Solomon?
Yup, that's some ancient erotica.

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